Swept Away (20 page)

“You seem to think you can insult me in any way you choose and then be welcome in my bed.”

“The only bed available tonight happens to be mine, my lady, and I’ll always do my best to make you feel welcome in it.”

Eden looked up at him, and rebelling against the smugness of his smile, both her gaze and expression became defiant. “And if I do not choose to be made welcome?”

Raven broke into a wide grin. “I’ll consider it a challenge to change your mind, and you already know how easily I can do it,” he bragged confidently.

Disgusted with that boast, Eden refused to back down. “There seems to be only one thing about me that you like, and you can get that elsewhere.”

Raven took the precaution of setting his brandy snifter down on the table before he stepped to Eden’s side and yanked her to her feet. Holding her pressed tightly against his chest, he emphatically refused that insulting suggestion. “You are my wife, Eden, and I will be as faithful to you as Alex would have been. Would you have refused his affection, or told him to sleep with whores?”

Shocked that he would compare himself to Alex, Eden turned her head away. “He loved me,” she reminded him. “It’s plain that you never will.”

“Never is an exceedingly long time.”

“Not nearly long enough where you are concerned,” Eden vowed darkly.

As disgusted with her as she was with him, Raven dropped his hands to his sides, then turned and went out the door. He closed it softly behind him, but he was seething all the same. He was well aware that he lacked the warmth to inspire the devotion Alex had always received from women, but if Eden thought she could shut him out of her bedroom, she would soon learn just how mistaken she was.

Eden grabbed for the back of her chair to steady herself, but that did not serve to stop the dizziness that had enveloped her when Raven had jerked her to her feet. From her past experience with him, she thought him far too proud of his talents at seduction to force himself on her, but the thought of having to make love with him later that night truly sickened her. He cared nothing for her—she was merely convenient, that was all. That he had once served exactly the same purpose for her was more than she could bear to admit.

The return voyage to London was an easy one. Raven was not needed on deck but he remained there until midnight anyway. He had never struck a woman, and had no intention of beginning with his wife, but as long as he was angry enough to strangle her, he wisely stayed away. When he at last returned to his cabin, Eden had been asleep for several hours. He had half expected her to hurl the bottle of brandy at him as he came through the door, and it was a relief to find she had not waited up to confront him anew.

As he undressed, Raven was sorry their second day of marriage had not ended on a better note. Not expecting her to deny all knowledge of the order Alex had wanted placed with the Armoury, he had again made the mistake of speaking his mind without considering what Eden’s reaction would be. Damn it all, he swore to himself, a man ought not to have to watch every word that he spoke to his wife.

As he eased himself into the cabin’s single bunk, he considered his crew’s opinion dead wrong. To them Eden might have appeared to have switched her affections to him with shocking speed, but in reality she was still Alex’s wife, and it seemed now that she always would be. He had not wanted a wife, and now it seemed to Raven that fate had granted his wish in the cruelest of ways.

Saddened by how poorly they were getting along, he drew Eden into his arms and made himself as comfortable as possible without waking her. He wished she were half as warm and pliant when she was awake as when she was asleep. Even in her dreams her pose was such a graceful one he could not help but want to snuggle close, but it was a long while before he fell asleep when he dreaded what the next day would bring.

Eden awakened as Raven left the cabin the following morning. He had closed the door quietly, but she had still heard it swing shut. She sat up slowly, but the nausea that had plagued her the previous morning returned in a sickening wave that sent her right back to the comfort of the blankets and pillows. After lying still for a moment, the feeling abated slightly, but she was positive it was not the rolling motion of the ship which had upset her stomach for she now recalled that the same queasiness had greeted her upon waking several mornings at Briarcliff. She had blamed it on her grief then, and Raven’s stubborn persistence in occupying her bed, but now she recognized that might not be the case.

She could think of only one likely possibility that would cause a woman to feel so wretched upon awaking. She and Alex had made love often during their brief marriage, but they had not once considered the possibility of her conceiving his child. It was an overwhelming thought even now, and Eden’s eyes filled with tears as she realized Alex would never know he had fathered a child. That would be heartbreaking, but at the same time, Eden knew she wanted Alex’s child with a desperation she had never before known.

Believing she had had ample opportunity to become pregnant, Eden sat up more slowly this time. After a brief struggle, she gained control of her rebellious stomach and rose to her feet. Making her way to her luggage with cautious steps, she was not too dizzy to search through her belongings for her diary. Her own body’s rhythm had always followed as predictable a sequence as the moon, until that very month. She counted the days twice to make certain she had not made an error in her calculations, and just as she had suspected, her monthly flow was overdue by a week.

Had the tragedy of Alex’s death upset her body as greatly as it had her heart and mind? That seemed possible, but she did not want it to be the case. The door swung open then, and Raven strode in carrying a teapot and basket of hot biscuits. Eden quickly clutched the small leather bound volume to her breast as though it contained her deepest secrets rather than only a listing of social engagements and a personal calendar.

“I thought you might want some breakfast.” He placed the items he had brought on the table before turning to face her. Then noting her bewildered expression, he pulled out a chair. “I think you’d better sit down if you’re not feeling any better than you look.”

Eden swept her hair out of her eyes with a nervous flip, slid into the chair he had offered, and hid her diary in her lap. She watched him bring cups, a sugar bowl, and spoons from one of the cabin’s many ingeniously designed cupboards and debated whether or not she ought to confide her suspicions in him. He was very bright. How long would it take him to realize she felt ill only in the mornings? Regardless of when that was, she knew he would promptly accuse her of lying to him for keeping such an important matter a secret. Maybe every recent widow felt as awful as she did, and hoped she was pregnant, so she did not want to share her suspicions for another few weeks. How long did a woman usually wait before announcing such news to her husband, one month, two?

She could imagine no greater comfort than having Alex’s child to raise, but she had no idea what Raven would say to that. He had loved Alex too—would he be happy for her, or merely grow increasingly more infuriated as his pretty bedmate’s figure took on the proportions of incipient motherhood? That she did not know the man well enough to judge his reaction saddened her greatly.

Amazed by the wide variety of emotions passing in fleeting moments across Eden’s delicate features, Raven wasted no time in meaningless pleasantries. “I expected you to be relieved I didn’t disturb your sleep last night, but that consideration doesn’t seem to have improved either your spirits or your health. You needn’t play the invalid on my account, but if you’re truly ill, I’ll summon a physician as soon as we dock this afternoon.”

It was too soon for a doctor to confirm her pregnancy, so Eden had no interest in seeing one. “This last week has been extremely difficult for us both. I’m sorry that I haven’t your strength, but I’m sure I’ll survive without a doctor’s attentions.”

Raven poured their tea and took the seat beside her. “All right, I trust you to know what’s best. We’ll spend only a couple of days in London, but if you’d like to move into the townhouse, I’ll arrange it.”

Eden frowned slightly, not truly understanding his question. “Are you asking if I want to go there alone rather than stay on board the
Jamaican Wind
with you?”

With her rumpled nightgown and unruly mop of curls, Eden looked as childlike as she sounded, inspiring Raven to make a valiant effort to hold his temper. “No, that’s not the choice at all. The both of us will either stay on board, or go to the townhouse. I have no intention of sending you off by yourself.”

Eden added a spoonful of sugar to her tea, and took a sip, but it was too hot to drink yet and she quickly set her cup back down. She seemed to constantly be apologizing to the man, and after the easy rapport she had had with Alex, that was deeply troubling. “I didn’t mean to upset you again, Raven. It was completely unintentional. Please don’t think that I do it on purpose.”

That would be too fiendish a practice even for her, in Raven’s view, and he reached out to pat her hand lightly. “I’m not upset. I just don’t want you to be confused. I want us to live as husband and wife just as we did at Briarcliff, not like some estranged couple who can barely tolerate each other.”

Eden sighed softly, thinking them far closer to being estranged than happily married. “Alex loved and trusted you, Raven, and I’m trying to do the same, but it’s awfully difficult when you don’t trust me.”

“Trust isn’t something that can be won overnight, Eden. Now you didn’t answer me. Which is it to be, do you want to stay on board, or go to the townhouse tonight?”

Eden did not want the memory of the one night she had spent there with Alex, their wedding night, ruined as she feared an inevitable fight with Raven would surely do. “I’d rather just stay on board if you don’t mind. It will save us the trouble of packing our things again for such a short stay.”

Delighted to find she also had a practical side, Raven began to smile. “I agree. Speaking of your things, I’ll send a note to your aunt in the morning, and if she’s free in the afternoon we’ll stop by for a brief visit and pick up your trunks.”

“Oh Raven, do you really think that we dare?”

Raven had completely forgotten he had warned Eden her reception at her aunt’s home would not be warm. A clever man, he caught the intent of her question immediately and provided an appropriate answer. “Even if you had not left so many of your clothes there, we would still owe her the courtesy of a call before we sail to Jamaica. She will undoubtedly have heard about Alex’s death, and that ought to ensure that she’ll at least be civil. I was worried you would not be made to feel welcome if you asked to return to her home. Our visit will be another matter altogether and shouldn’t be too taxing for any of us.”

“And when she learns we have married?” Eden asked shyly.

“I think we’d better save that announcement for when we are walking out the door.” Raven knew that news would easily create a scandal that would far outlast her mother’s elopement with an American. The excruciatingly well-mannered Lady Lawton would probably faint dead away, but that could not be helped. He started to laugh then, even though he knew Eden would never understand why.

Eden stared at her husband, shocked he could find anything humorous in what she knew would be an uncomfortable situation at best. Then she realized she had never really seen him laugh in such a lighthearted fashion. On numerous occasions he had used sarcastic laughter to taunt her, but that was not his purpose now. He was simply enjoying himself, and to her own amazement, she found she enjoyed watching him.

As Raven’s deep laughter echoed against the cabin’s teak paneling, Eden continued to study him. She had been thrilled by his rare smiles, but she had never before noticed that his lips had an appealing rose tint as though he had just finished a glass of burgundy or port. That she had kissed those lips with all the passion that still filled her heart made her blush.

At last Raven noticed the confusion in Eden’s glance and, as usual, misread the cause. “I wasn’t laughing at your aunt,” he hastened to explain. “It’s just that her kind is always more concerned with appearance than the truth so they are quite easily shocked.”

“That’s true,” Eden agreed, for she had soon learned appearances meant far more to Lydia and Stephanie than they ever had to her. Her attention had been focused so closely on him she had completely forgotten about her aunt, though. When she found him staring at her with an equal intensity, she was horribly embarrassed.

“Oh I must look awful!” she complained in a helpless squeal. She had not paused to wash her face or brush her hair before searching for her diary. She had then been so lost in the thoughts of a child when Raven had entered the cabin that she had forgotten all about her appearance. That was an oversight that appalled her now.

Eden’s sudden dismay sent Raven into another burst of hearty laughter. “You still look beautiful, even if your grooming does leave a little to be desired. But what difference does that make? I’m your husband and you needn’t worry about how you look when you’re with me. Would you like to bathe before you dress? If the cook isn’t simmering soup in our tub, I’ll bring it right in for you.”

“You and your men bathe in a tub the cook uses for soup?” Such an unhygienic practice made Eden shudder. “Please remind me never to taste his soup.”