Swift as Desire (19 page)

“
P
API
,
ARE YOU LISTENING
…?”

“Maybe he can’t hear you.”

“Did you give him a sedative?”

“No, I gave him an analgesic, because he complained of a pain in his stomach, then he fell asleep.…”

“
Papi
, wake up,
chiquito. Mamá
has come to see you.…”

Don Júbilo opened his eyes immediately. He couldn’t believe his ears. Lucha was there. His heart began to pound and his stomach trembled and started to hurt again. He had been waiting for this moment for so many years.

Lluvia was also taken by surprise. She had repeatedly asked her mother to visit her father but Lucha had stubbornly refused. It was a unique occasion that she had finally appeared at the house, and without notice. Lluvia couldn’t remember her parents speaking to each other since the day she was married, thirty years earlier. For as long as she had been able to reason, she remembered the distance between her parents, they even slept in separate bedrooms. Once, Lluvia had asked her father why they hadn’t divorced. He replied that in those days a man was never granted custody of the children and that he wouldn’t have been able to bear being separated from them. To Lluvia this didn’t sound like sufficient reason, but she hadn’t insisted. Although it seemed odd, she had an inkling that her parents had maintained their strange relationship because of a loving force hidden beneath
their apparent distance that continued to draw them together. Whatever the reason, she was thankful for the opportunity she’d had to enjoy her father’s presence at home while she was growing up, although to strangers her parents’ relationship had been a total mystery.

It was at her wedding that her parents had seen each other for the last time, and now it was in her house that they saw one another again, and Lluvia could only bless the occasion. As soon as she had explained to her mother how her father “spoke” via the computer, Lluvia said to them:

“Well, I think you two have a lot to talk about.”

To which her mother replied:

“Yes, that’s right.”

Before closing the door, Lluvia managed to hear her mother say to her father:

“I hate hating you, Júbilo.”

L
UCHA ARRIVED A LITTLE
late for work, but happier than ever and unaware that it was the last day of complete happiness she would ever have. From that day forward everything would change, but at that hour of the morning nothing seemed wrong. No, more than that, in Lucha’s eyes the world shone even more brightly than usual and glowed warmly with a pinkish hue. She was totally in love with her husband even though they’d been married for ten years. She had never imagined that was possible. Much less that she would still be learning new ways of making love. Júbilo had turned out to be a wonderful sexual partner.

The previous night they had discovered new positions that didn’t even appear in the
Kama Sutra.
And through them she had experienced incredible multiple orgasms. A night like that was well worth ten years of financial hardship. None of the little problems Júbilo and Lucha had gone through in their marriage was able to diminish in any way their love for each other. Even Júbilo’s recent inclination to drink didn’t seem like an
insurmountable obstacle. Lucha was fully aware it was temporary and that Júbilo relied on it only as a way to forget about his problems, since for a man like him it must be very difficult not to be able to support his family. Sometimes Lucha even felt guilty about being so demanding. She only hoped that it was clear to Júbilo she wasn’t interested in money itself, but only in its power to help her provide her family with a decent life.

She wasn’t the only one who was concerned. Lolita had told Lucha on several occasions that perhaps she was asking too much of Júbilo and criticized her for having so many aspirations. Lucha didn’t take this the wrong way. She knew Lolita had said what she did out of love, that she was guided by her honesty and integrity. Lolita was a patient woman who didn’t expect anything from life. She was always the first to get to the office and the last one to leave. She performed her work quietly. She never acted in an irresponsible or unconventional manner. She was discreet, prudent, timid, modest, and very, very proper. She was so eager to please others that she never made a comment that was out of place: she was driven by an overwhelming fear that people would stop liking her. When she was a young girl, her father had abandoned her and her mother, and she never wanted to be abandoned again. So to avoid it, she was ready to do anything for anybody, to the point of servility. However, her need to please only caused men to run away from her. She never had a
novio
and she always fell in love with men who couldn’t love her back.

Lucha loved and respected Lolita very much even though she knew her friend was in love with Júbilo. Lucha didn’t hold this against her. After all, Júbilo was the kindest and most loving person in the world. When the three of them were still working together, Lucha had always been pleased to see the looks Lolita threw at her husband from time to time. It never bothered her, just the opposite, it made her feel proud. Nor did she take it the wrong way when her dear friend defended Júbilo with sword drawn, or that Lolita seemed to be so worried about the situation Lucha and Júbilo found themselves in.

Lucha considered Lolita her confidante and she was grateful for her sincere concern. The only thing Lolita didn’t seem to understand was Lucha’s attitude toward money. Lucha had received a very specific education from her parents about money and how to use it. She knew very well what money could buy and she didn’t hesitate to spend it. That didn’t mean she was a compulsive spender. She simply knew that money, among other things, was important for a sense of security. To feel one could live peacefully in a house that could withstand earthquakes, rain, and the cold. Her great preoccupation about having money to pay for a good school for her children stemmed from her belief that the better their education, the better they would be able to provide for their own families. That’s why she had felt so vulnerable during the first months of her marriage to Júbilo. It was the first time she had been exposed to hardship, and it terrified her.

Fortunately, it hadn’t taken her long to realize that she
would never find a more worthy man than Júbilo, and that the way to stop worrying about money was to go out to work herself and help her husband support them. And since she had started working things had improved greatly. She felt that her marriage was more solid than ever and that Júbilo’s emotional state would improve as soon as he found another job. And she was willing to help him all she could to make sure every centavo they earned was used properly.

Because of this, whenever Lucha bought anything, she liked it to be the best, and also the best value. She was of the firm belief that you get what you pay for. And she was very particular about the way things looked too. She believed that living in a clean, pleasant, harmonious environment raised the spirits. Lucha had a rare talent for spotting the best buys the moment she entered a shop. They never escaped her notice even when they were hidden among many other things. She always found the most beautiful dress, which unfortunately usually turned out to be the most expensive. But Lucha never wasted much time in hunting down bargains. According to her reasoning, it was much better to always buy the best, because cheaper things usually faded or shrank the first time they were washed.

When she went into a furniture store, it was the same. She was always drawn to the most expensive piece of furniture made with the highest-quality wood and the best finishes. She knew from experience that they would last the longest, just as she knew that the best drink was
the least harmful to one’s body. She had the same good eye for evaluating people. From the first moment she saw Júbilo she had appreciated his other virtues as much as his physical beauty. He was an intelligent, sensible man, possessed of a wonderful sense of humor, sensitive in his dealings with others, passionate in bed, respectful, gentlemanly, in short, truly unique.

Lucha was amused by Júbilo’s jealousy toward don Pedro. She could
never
have even looked at a person of such low social, spiritual, and physical standards. Don Pedro was the complete opposite of the light, harmony, and good taste radiated by Júbilo. Don Pedro was a swarthy, ugly, evil-looking, disgusting, disrespectful, immoral, vulgar opportunist, who didn’t know what proper manners were, much less how to treat women and show them respect. She wasn’t about to trade down. And don Pedro was out of his mind if he thought he could buy her with a stupid scarf. Lucha wasn’t crazy enough to renounce Júbilo and her children for such an unworthy man. He was just a poor fool with money in his pocket. If money had been the only thing that mattered to her, she could have gotten it ages ago, and by the handful, from her boss. But that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted much more than that. She wanted to spend the rest of her days by Júbilo’s side and to remain just as much in love with him as she was now, as she had been last night! She blushed as she remembered again what Júbilo and she had done in bed.

Her employer’s presence in front of her desk brought her back to reality. Don Pedro was offended because
Lucha had left the office the previous evening without even saying good-bye to him, even though she had been wearing the expensive scarf he had given her! What hurt him most was seeing the look of love she gave her husband. He had never inspired that kind of look on anyone’s face, much less a woman like Lucha, and he was determined to do whatever it took to make that woman his: and to amortize the cost of the scarf. Women were all equally ungrateful, they only wanted men for their money, but he was going to teach them how to treat a man like him with respect. Tired of being brushed off by Lucha, he wasn’t willing to wait any longer to get his hands on her. He was full of rage and planned to overcome her resistance to him any way he could. The cold, distant tone Lucha used in her dealings with him was extremely irritating. He had tried everything, but nothing worked with her. He had to change his strategy to persuade her to sleep with him. He had invested a lot of money in Lucha and now he intended to collect for all the flowers, the chocolates, and that damned scarf. He was fed up with feeling ignored and disdained.

He had decided to punish her by doing the same to her, but she hadn’t even noticed. And to make matters worse, the ingrate had allowed herself the luxury of arriving late for work! So he had punished her by loading her down with a ton of dictation. Almost everyone had left for the day and the office was practically deserted.

“Have you finished?”

“Almost.”

“
Ay
, Luchita! You left so quickly yesterday, you didn’t even say good-bye to me. I was planning to invite you to dinner.”

“I appreciate the gesture, but you know I’m married. I went out to celebrate with my husband.”

“I hope he treated you well.”

“Yes, he did.”

“Did he give you a present?”

“The best.”

“Better than the scarf I gave you?”

“You know what, don Pedro? Your question is in very poor taste. I suggest you don’t ever ask me a question like that again, well, that is, if you ever want to get anywhere in society.”

“You really think you’re some fine filly, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.”

Don Pedro felt the sudden urge to slap Lucha to wipe the look of disdain and superiority with which she stared back at him off her face. And Lucha felt the sudden urge to hand him her resignation right then and there. She didn’t like the way she was being treated one bit. No, señor! Her family’s financial situation was still dire, but she wasn’t pregnant anymore and she could easily find another job, even a better-paying one, where she wouldn’t have to put up with a cretin like don Pedro. But neither of them immediately acted on their impulses. Don Pedro swallowed his aggression, turned around, and entered his office, shouting from the open doorway:

“Lolita, please come to my office!”

Instead of finishing the letters in front of her, Lucha began to write her letter of resignation. She had already made up her mind, but she was going to do it properly, not impulsively. That’s what education and intelligence were all about. When she had finished the document, she placed it in her desk drawer, picked up her purse, and left the office. Before going home, she wanted to get Júbilo some bread from Café Tacuba to prolong the good taste left in their mouths from the night before. As she walked back to her car, she suddenly realized she had left the car keys on her desk. She turned around and returned to the office. She couldn’t help smiling like an adolescent in love—she loved this feeling of distraction.

When she returned to the office, there was no one there. The desks were empty and silence reigned. Lucha’s footsteps echoed through the building. But the light was still on in don Pedro’s office. Lucha tiptoed past so her boss wouldn’t hear her. She didn’t want to be caught alone with him. As she noiselessly picked up her keys with her fingertips, Lucha heard the sound of sobbing coming from don Pedro’s office. She froze for a few seconds to make sure she had heard correctly; yes, there it was again, a woman was crying.

Lucha steeled herself as she opened the door: she saw Lolita lying curled up in a corner, weeping. Lucha ran to her side and with horror deduced what had happened. Lolita’s clothing was torn, and her stockings were bloodstained. She was in a state of total shock. When she saw
Lucha, she clung to her friend and began to scream desperately. She told Lucha that don Pedro had raped her. Then she begged her not to tell anyone, because she would die of shame if anyone else knew, especially Júbilo. Lucha consoled Lolita as best she could and tried to convince her to file charges against don Pedro at the police station, but Lolita stubbornly refused. She didn’t think she could bear the humiliation. So Lucha tried to persuade her to go to the hospital, but again met with resistance. Finally, after a long time, Lucha was able to convince Lolita to come with her to her brother Juan’s house. He was a doctor and would attend to her. Lolita accepted on the condition that Lucha stay by her side the whole time.