Switching Lanes (7 page)

It should be a crime for such a person to be taken away from this life. But the serenity of the scene somehow put me at peace. I know she’s in
Heaven, swinging from a tree just like this one. I smile at that thought.

In bed, lying next to Renee, my heart breaks for her. I want to reach over and hold her tight and tell her everything will be okay. But that still remains to be seen.
I know life is short and you have to make the most of it because this life is all we have. I finally give in to sleep and let the thoughts of Amber carry over into my dreams.

Later that night
, I sit straight up, drenching in sweat and it’s not even hot in here. I can hear the air conditioner running. I walk to the small bathroom and splash some water on my face. I stare at the image staring back at me and I remember the dream. Amber came to me; she looked so angelic, more angelic than I even remember. Her skin glistened from the light shining over her. She told me it was okay to love again, as she lightly touched my cheek and looked into my eyes. I asked her not to go, I cried. She told me it was okay to be happy and that was what she wanted. I grip the sink, bending my head down and take a deep breath. The dream felt so real; it felt more real than the other dreams I’ve had of her in the past. But she has never come to me and touched my skin and spoke to me this way.

When she left, I reached out for her, but she slowly disappeared in front of me. I move back to bed and slowly slide in so
as not to disturb Renee.

Chapter Twelve

RENEE

I wake in the morning to a knock on the door. I groggily walk over and open it.
“Morning. Mom sent me to tell you guys she’ll have breakfast ready in thirty minutes if you want to eat.” Sarah bounds down the steps.

What she really means is to be down there you really don’t have a choice.
I crawl on the bed and start bouncing it up and down to wake Layne up. I watch as a smile plays across his face and in an instant his hands are on my waist and he tickles me feverishly.

“You woke the beast and now I’m going to tickle you to death,” he growls with a smirk.

I laugh and squirm as his hands tickle my sides. I can barely stand it.

“I give, I give!” I shout breathlessly. He stops and his face is merely an inch from mine as his eyes bore into mine.
“We should get ready to go,” I tell him, breaking the trance between us. I try to calm my fast beating heart. Shit, that look just about made me do something I might not regret.

I get off the bed and head to the bathroom to freshen up.
I splash some water on my face to cool me down, and then I meet Layne back in the room. “Ready?” he asks, not looking me in the eye.

“Yep,” I say grabbing my purse on the way out.
He opens the door for me to go through first. We head downstairs and enter the house, heading straight into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Joan says
, smiling at us.

“Morning,” Layne and I say in unison.
We sit at the table with the rest of the clan and we pass around the food scrambled eggs, toast, hash browns and country sausage. “Have you found out the gender of the baby?” I ask Sarah.

“I haven’t
; I wanted to be surprised. But I have a few names for a boy and a girl so I’m prepared for that,” she beams.

“Keep in contact with me and let me know if you ever need anything,” I tell her as we continue to eat.

An hour later, we are bidding the family goodbye. Joan insists on us coming back soon. She whispers good luck into my ear when she hugs me. I love these people like they are my own family. I’d much rather spend time with them than my own.

My family is more on the dysfunctional side, especially with what’s happened in the past. I think my mom blames me for the divorce; she doesn’t say it in so many words. But I know by the looks she would give me.

A lot of times, Layne was my escape when I needed to get away. He doesn’t know what happened to me. I always hid that part of me and my family. Friends are supposed to tell each other everything, but I was too ashamed, and knowing Layne, he would have tried to kill my step dad. My step dad ruined me for any man. Even sex with Dylan was never easy, I could never just let go. I always tensed up, and it wasn’t something I constantly needed, like most people my age are bunny humping.

Layne clears his throat
, breaking my train of thought. I break from my trance out the window and look over at him. “Was it what you expected it to be?” I ask.

“It was. Thanks for coming with me. I wouldn’t hav
e been able to do it by myself. And I think you needed to see her as much as I did,” he says

“I did. I’m at peace with everything. Life is going to get better
; it has to,” I say while looking out the window.

“We’ve been on the road a
while now. How about we stop and get something to eat at the next exit?” he offers.

“Yeah, sounds good,
” I say without looking over to him.

At the next exit
, he pulls into an IHOP. My mouth is already salivating at the thought of buttery pancakes. He waits for my reaction before going in.

“You can wait in the car all you want, but I’m going in,” I joke, opening the car door.

His dimples show as his mouth curves up. Maybe there is hope for us after all. Inside the restaurant, I can smell the sweet buttery aroma wafting through. Layne follows close behind me, watching my reaction. We are seated in a booth and I order a regular coke and a stack of pancakes when the waitress takes our order. Layne follows suit and continues to grin at me. I bit my lower lip once the food arrives, and I make no apologies while smothering the pancakes with syrup.

Layne smiles.
“You are something else.”

~
~ ~ ~ ~

It’s been one month since we visited Amber’s grave site. Layne and I have been continuing to hang out a lot. Alexis asked if I wanted to get an apartment with her, since neither one of us is clicking with our roommates.

It’s Friday night and I’m on my way to Layne’s place. He asked me out to a movie, but I insisted on meeting him at his place. I decided to dress up a little and put on a pair of skinny jeans with a loose top and a long necklace and a pair of black pumps. I added a little extra makeup, and put some curls in my hair. Pulling into the driveway, I check myself out before exiting the car. After   grabbing my clutch, I walk into Layne’s place. I’m astounded by who else I find there having a friendly conversation with Layne.

“You look really nice,” Layne says
while coming over to hug me. “You know Cole, right?”

“I do
. I didn’t realize he was coming along,” I say to him.

“Oh, no he isn’t. He’s here checkin
g out the room I have available now that Dylan is gone, for good.”

I arch my eyebrows up. “Oh, okay. How do you like it?” I smile.

“It’s great. We were just discussing the rent and when I can move in.” He smiles, and I can see why Alexis melts every time he’s around. He has that total bad boy with a killer smile thing going on, and it works well. “I’ll just text you later, Layne.” He stands to leave. He nods at me. “Have fun on your date,” he says with a wink as he’s passing me on his way out.
He’s an instigator.

“Sorry I’m running late,” Layne says
as he finishes his soda.

“I think we have time
,” I tell him. His jeans hang low, but not too low, and he has on a black polo shirt. I think he may have even put gel in his hair. “You look nice,” I tell him.

“Just needed a change,” he says nonchalantly.
“Just tired of wearing the same old tee shirts and jeans. You ready?” he asks while grabbing his phone and keys on the way out the door.

Mmm he even smells good. I thought it was Cole but it’s definitely Layne
. Oh my god, his cologne could easily turn me on if I continue to inhale the smell. It smells woodsy and very masculine. We walk outside to his car and he opens the passenger door for me.

“Thank you
, sir,” I say jokingly.

He slides into the driver’
s seat and puts on some music. The volume is low but loud enough to listen and talk at the same time. He smiles at me as he drives to the theater. Going to the theater is usually no big deal, but tonight seems different and I want to enjoy it.

At the theater,
we settle for a movie that has some action and a little romance, the perfect combination. Layne buys us popcorn and drinks.

Sometime during the movie he puts his arm on the back of my seat. Not sure what is going on but I like it. After the movie
, we toss the trash and head back to his house. “I had a nice time,” I tell him as he drives.

“Me too.
We haven’t done that in a long time. We used to go all the time.” He smiles, showing off his dimples.

“A
re you coming in for a while?” he turns to ask me.

“Sure
.” We walk inside and he offers me a drink. I take the drink and we sit on the couch, since we seem to have the house to ourselves. I sit opposite of him so I’m facing him as he faces forward. “Layne, there is something I’ve been keeping from you,” I say to start off and he cocks his head to the side. “Remember when my mom divorced my step dad, David? Well, that was because of me.” I watch for his reaction.

“What do you mean? I’
m confused.”

“He used to molest me
. When my mom would be sleeping he would come into my room and touch me,” I whisper.

“What the fuck
, Renee?” His rage takes over and he stands up and paces the living room floor. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because I knew you’d kill him, and then you would be gone from my life forever. Plus I was embarrassed and ashamed
.” I can’t help but hug my body.

“I will fucking
kill him!” The vein in his forehead becomes very apparent. “What did your dad say to all this?”

“You’re going to pop a fucking vein. S
it the fuck down and calm down. My dad came over to the house and was about to kill the guy, literally.”

He sighs heavily
, letting his body fall onto the couch. “I can’t believe you kept this from me. When was this going on?”

“It was happening during fifth grade. I was young and didn’t know how to deal with it. And I didn’t know how to tell you
; even now, it’s hard to tell you. But I decided to get this one thing I’ve been hiding out in the open. My mom came into my room and caught him and she divorced him after I told her what was going on.”

A tear rolls down my cheek
and I quickly swipe it away. “Our relationship was never the same after that. And she just swept it under the rug, and she never looked at me the same again.” I think that is why after that I spent a lot of time at my dad’s place and every summer I worked as a cashier in his automotive shop. And even after a lot of time had passed she still never look at me the same. So when I went home, I mostly spent time at my dad’s to grieve over Amber.

“I wish you would have told me
. I wish you never went through that.”

“He ruined me for any man of my future. Even having sex with Dylan was difficult. I always felt uneasy and uncomfortable. Or maybe it’s just me
; I don’t know.” I throw my hands up, questioning, with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Layne reaches over and pulls me into his chest. “It’s not you
, love; it was the god awful monster. If I ever came face to face with him, I would kill him for what he did to you. It literally makes me sick that a grown ass man can do that to a defenseless girl.”

I feel his body shake with rage as he holds me. I cry into his chest. “I had to tell you,
because I didn’t want any secrets between us anymore.”

“Look at me
.” He lifts my chin so I look into his caramel eyes. “You can tell me anything, day or night. You can count on me being there for you, Renee. You have been there for me, especially when my dad had his accident. You were my rock and always listened to me. I think it’s time you let me be here for you. I wish I could take all your pain away.” He swipes a tear away.

His words touch my heart, and my love for him keeps getting stronger. No words could ever express my gratitude for the friendship we have shared all these years. These last few months have been the best times. We’ve laughed, cried
, and everything in between.

“An
d since we are sharing secrets…that day we visited Amber’s grave, I told her goodbye. I let go of all the pain I was in. I know it sounds selfish but I just want to be happy again.”

I listen as his chest vibrates through the sound of his voice. “You deserve to be happy,” I tell
him, hoping one day it’s me that can do that.

“We both do.”

I use his chest to hoist myself off him. I wipe under my eyes, clearing any mascara that might have ruined my eyes. “I should go,” I tell him, and notice my hand is on his thigh.

“Renee, there is something I need to tell you….”

“Please. I can’t handle anything else after this emotional drain. Can we pick this conversation up another time?”

“Sure
.”

H
e stands and walks me out to my car.

He opens the car door for me, and I reach and squeeze his hand. “Thanks for the movie and listening to me earlier
.” I give him a weak smile and slide into my car.

“Text me when you get home, so I know you’re safe
.”

I nod and he waves as I pull out the driveway.