Tab Bennett and the Inbetween (33 page)

So far being a princess sucked. It was all fear and lies and hiding. It was all upheaval and pain. Suddenly, it seemed like a lot of suffering for something I didn’t even really want. My former life as a bank teller sounded like heaven. I wanted it back.

“What if I do? Abandon the throne?” I asked quietly. “I’ll step down and then whoever has Bennett will give him back, right? Won’t they?”

Neither of them said anything.

“I don’t want to be Queen,” I continued. “Someone else can be Queen and I’ll just be me. I was happy that way for years. I could go back to it.” Without meaning to I looked at Robbin. But he didn’t react, his body was still and his face was unreadable. “I can’t have anymore blood on my hands.”

Alex looked at Robbin too; he sighed.

“I’m afraid it’s not possible. You will be Queen because you have to be. As I’ve told you before, it’s not something you can choose or not; it simply is. You simply are. There’s no one else who can take the job.”

I’d spent my whole life believing I could be anything I wanted to be: president; a ballerina; point guard for the Houston Rockets even though I’d never even been to Texas – anything. Now he was telling me that wasn’t true. There was only one thing I could be and I didn’t even get to pick. I couldn’t give it up to save Pop. I couldn’t save anyone.

“I’m going up to bed,” I said.

Alex kissed the top of my head. “Wait up for me if you can.”

I saw Robbin wince but I didn’t care.

*******

I have never understood the merit of counting sheep as a cure for insomnia. I don’t get the connection or the appeal of livestock. Sheep don’t smell good. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. Maybe everyone else counts to three sheep and then falls into a deep, deep sleep. Maybe.

Myself, I spent the hour between going upstairs to bed and Alex’s entry into the dark bedroom staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of the shapes in the shadows.

“Are you awake?” He walked cautiously, careful not to make a noise as he did. He sat down beside me and rested his hand on my hip. “I know you’re not sleeping.”

“Yes I am.”

I shifted over to the other side, making a space for him beside me but I didn’t roll over to face him. “Robbin has gone Home to tell the others about our suspicions. I’ve asked him to tell them to stay where they are and continue acting as if we still believe They have Bennett. The longer we can keep that illusion alive, the better it will be for all of us.” He spooned up behind me.

“Everything seems to be happening at once. My life feels somewhat totally beyond my control.”

I took a deep breath and forced myself not to cry. I concentrated on his hands moving slowly up and down my back instead. It was hypnotic.

 “I kind of feel like I don’t even get to process one thing before the next thing happens.” I shook my head and laughed. “Do you want to know what’s weird though? I felt better as soon as you come in the room. Isn’t that lame? They killed my sisters. My grandfather is being tortured. He might be dead already for all we know. Robbin hates me; he can’t even stand to look at me now. And those things are heartbreaking, aren’t they? And you are complication number one. But then you come in the room and…” I shook my head, searching for a way to explain, “suddenly the ache of those things isn’t quite so sharp.”

“Do you love me?” he asked.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe I love you too.”

For a long time, long enough that I thought he might have fallen asleep, long enough that I‘m not completely sure I didn’t fall asleep too, we just laid together in the dark.

“Alex?”

He mumbled softly and pressed his lips against the nape of my neck.

“I have to tell you something.”

He replied with another mumbling kiss.

“Sometimes I can read your mind.”

A split second later he was turning on the bedside light. “I’m sorry,” he said. “What did you just say?”

*******

I woke up to the sound of raised voices, but that wasn’t entirely unusual for me. It was the sound of glass breaking that got me out of bed. Except at Jewish weddings breaking glass rarely signals good news.

I grabbed Alex’s robe and ran from the room, tying it closed as I raced down the hall. As I ran passed the attic door I thought of George telling me to go up, to hide there if They attacked. But I couldn’t go up if Alex was down.

I heard something else—furniture maybe—splinter and break and then another loud crash. The voices got louder, something else hit the floor with a thud, and then it was silent.

“Alex?” I yelled. “Alex where are you?”

“He’s in here,” Robbin called from the study. “What’s left of him anyway.”

I heard Alex say, “Don’t you talk to her,” in a voice so cold it frightened me.

“Fuck you,” Robbin responded. “I’ll talk to whoever I want.”

I stopped running. No sense hurrying when the only threat to either one of them was their own stupidity. I twisted my hair into a bun, knotting it on top of my head.

They were both sitting on the floor surrounded by the broken remains of a coffee table, a lamp, and several picture frames.

The skin under Alex’s eye was already turning black. Robbin’s nose was bleeding; he used the hem of his t-shirt to wipe the blood away and struggled to his feet.

“What the hell is going on?” I asked. Neither one of them even had the grace to look sheepish. Alex stood up and dusted himself off. “It’s nothing. I’m sorry if we woke you.”

“Seriously?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. “If?”

Alex shrugged. “Robbin and I were just settling a disagreement.” The look he gave Robbin was of the killing variety. ‘
Never touch her again
,’ flashed through his mind. I wished I knew what specifically had set this off but neither was thinking about the start of the fight, just the climactic end.

 “Yeah, sorry,” Robbin said. There wasn’t a trace of remorse in his voice. ‘
Cheater
,’ he thought. ‘
Liar. Bi…
’

I turned to face him. “Don’t you dare call me that. Don’t you dare.”

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

Behind me, I heard Alex sigh and collapse into Pop’s chair.

“You left me. I never cheated on you. The enchantment made me…” 

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot,” he yelled, clapping his hand against the side of his face, “you’re so innocent, right? It was all the enchantment’s fault, right? You didn’t want to make out with him every time I turned my back; it was the enchantment. Oh right. Right. I forgot.”

 “Go to hell, Robbin,” I said.

He shook his head and stormed to the door. “I’ve got news for you Princess, I’m already there.” He stomped down the hall and then slammed the front door hard enough to crack it.

I walked around the desk and stood in front of Alex. When he didn’t move to take me into his arms, I sat in his lap, laying my head against his broad chest. Only then did he move to hold me, sliding his hands under my robe to rest on my thigh.

“Do you still love him?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I lifted my head to face him. He looked at me for a long, uncomfortable moment.

“Do you?” he asked again.

He wanted a yes or no answer – a no preferably – but it wasn’t that simple. I thought of the sweet, gentle Robbin I’d always known. So good natured and easy going. So funny and fun and nice. I had been planning to marry him; I would have if Alex had not shown up. I think we would have been happy. But Alex’s arrival had changed everything. When I looked at him I couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t include loving him. Even without the enchantment guiding me toward him, I knew there was no one else for me.

“He was my first love. Maybe some small part of me will always love him. But that doesn’t mean I don’t, you know, maybe love you.” I smiled tentatively, hoping it would ease some of the tension out of the moment.

It didn’t.

Although his face was a mask of composure, I could tell he was boiling inside. He was angry at himself for losing control. He was angry at Robbin for being in the way. He was angry with me for being torn between them. I didn’t blame him – it wasn’t easy being a point on the messy little triangle that was my love life. All he wanted to do was get away from me so he could hit something, preferably Robbin. I plucked all that right out of his brain, which maybe wasn’t fair since he was nodding as though he understood.

I wanted to explain but he cut me off quickly just by holding up his hand.

“If you’ll excuse me, I am late for a meeting with the Generals. I shouldn’t be gone more than a few hours.” He paused and ran his fingers through his hair. “You may not see him, but Robbin will be here looking after you. If you call, he’ll come.”

“OK,” I said.

I watched him consider and then reconsider saying something more before he gave me a curt nod and started from the room. He got as far as the door before he stopped. I waited to see what would happen next. Honestly I sort of expected him to yell at me. But that’s not what he did.

“He can’t have you.”

He crossed the room quickly. Backing me up against the desk, he pushed my robe open and let his eyes roam across my naked body. He pulled my hair out of its bun so it hung down my back, curled against my bare breasts. There was something dangerous and exciting in his eyes. “You’re mine,” he said. “I’m yours. He can’t have you.”

His kiss was hungry, possessive. One hand tangled in my hair as the other pushed the robe off my shoulders. His hand trailed over my body, skimming across my lower back and stomach before it closed over my breast. His fingers teased my nipples until they were hard and aching and then he soothed them with his tongue. He slipped his leg between mine, pressing against me. The sensation shocked me and I pressed back, writhing against him.

 As I unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders his hand moved between my legs. His fingers teased me there, moving faster and faster until I cried out. His mouth reclaimed mine as I unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down low on his hips. I wrapped my fingers around him, stroking his hot, hard length a few times before I opened my legs and positioned him to enter. With a growl he pushed inside of me. He lifted me off the desk and I wrapped my legs around him, riding him until I reached the moment of release. He followed after me, yelling my name as his body shook with pleasure.

“He can’t have you,” he said again as we gasped for air. “He can’t have you.”

When I opened my eyes Nicholas was sitting on the edge of the fountain, so still and white he could have been a statue. His corn silk hair was loose around his shoulders, framing his beautiful, terrifying face. The solarium was dark but I could see the ruby red glow of his eyes.

“Hello Nicholas.” I said.

 “I’m flattered that you remember.” His voice dripped with barely contained hostility as he bowed in front of me.

“You make a lasting impression.”

He laughed then; it was a high-pitched, unpleasant sound and I began to pray that it wouldn’t be the last thing I ever heard.

“Your little army seems to have dissipated.”

 “Has it?” I shrugged and tried to look sly and knowing. “They’ll be back.”

I could tell he found me amusing – which is not the same thing as funny. I was a joke; the fear he saw on my face was a joke.

“Let’s see if your screaming doesn’t bring them running.”

I looked to the door and he looked too. I was calculating the distance between my chair and the possibility of safety if I made it to the hall. It was a big if.

“You won’t make it,” he cooed. He leaned back and closed his eyes the way people do when they’re basking in the sun. He seemed extremely languid for a man with murder on his evening’s agenda.