Tainted (8 page)

“I have no idea who it is, but I don’t think it’s either of them. From what she’s told me, I think they’re guys Amber knows from around campus.”

I wanted to kill Amber for pushing Chloe to move on. I knew Amber was just being a good friend, but I didn’t want Chloe to give up on me. If she kept dating, she would eventually find some asshole who actually deserved her, and any hope that I had of winning her back would be gone.

“Can you guys please leave me alone?” I asked.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. It just slipped out,” Jade said.

“I’m not upset. I just want to sleep right now,” I lied.

“If you’re sure—” she said.

“I am.”

Adam and Jade left the room, but Eric stayed behind. I groaned as I rolled over until my back was facing him. Maybe he would take the hint and leave.

“Why don’t you focus on what Jade just told you? Maybe that will help you deal with this.”

“What? The fact that Chloe is dating other guys? Yeah, that’ll perk my mood right up,” I said sarcastically.

“Exactly. Maybe it’s what you need to wake up and see how messed up things are. You need to focus on getting clean and getting her back before some other guy snatches her up.”

I rolled over to look at him. “Just thinking about some other guy kissing her or touching her makes me want to fly back to West Virginia and kick his ass.”

“Then, you should use that anger to keep your focus. Every time you want to use, picture her with someone else.”

“That won’t help me. It’ll make me lose my mind,” I grumbled.

“Just think about it, okay? All that stands between you and Chloe is your powder.”

I stayed silent as he turned and left the room. He was insane if he thought his idea would work. Picturing her with someone else would make me go insane. It definitely wouldn’t help me stay in control.

I closed my eyes and let the spinning take over until I finally passed out.

The next few weeks passed by in a blur. We spent most of our time in the studio, recording tracks for the album. Brad seemed satisfied with how fast we were moving, but everyone else’s mood was less than happy. The band kept track of me constantly. It was as if they were waiting for me to pass out again. After that one afternoon, I didn’t have any more dizzy spells. I always made sure to eat something every morning just in case that was what had caused me to pass out.

The thought of Chloe with someone else was constantly on my mind. I started using more, and I was almost out. I snuck out one night and found a dealer in one of the clubs located in a bad part of L.A. It wasn’t hard. While L.A. was an amazing city, there were tons of ghetto areas to choose from.

I tried to keep my addiction under control, but I knew the band was well aware of what I was doing. They tried to talk to me about it occasionally, but I always shut them down before we started fighting. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want to stop, and I wasn’t sure if I could. I debated on calling Chloe on more than one occasion, but I stopped myself. She’d probably just hang up on me, and that would make me feel worse.

Brad’s voice pulled me away from my thoughts, and I tried to focus on what he was saying.

“You guys did great today. Your single is ready, and I plan on releasing it sometime next week.”

We’d spent the entire day working on the album, and I was beat. It was good to know the single would be released soon. At least we weren’t doing all of this for nothing. While I knew how much work went into our music, I had no idea how hard it would be to record it professionally. Some days, we would work on just one song, doing it over and over again, until I was sick of it.

“That’s awesome! I can’t wait to hear us on the radio!” Jade said as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet.

“Why don’t you guys take the rest of the night off? I think we got what we need for today, and you all could use a night to yourselves. Go out and enjoy L.A. nightlife. Pretty soon, you won’t be able to without being attacked by fans,” Brad said with a smile.

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all week,” Adam said before yawning.

“I’ll see you guys in the morning,” Brad said.

We told him good-bye and left to enjoy the rest of the night.

After a quick stop at our hotel to shower and change, we took a taxi to West Hollywood where most of the popular clubs were located. We had to stand in line for almost an hour, but we finally managed to get inside one of them. Jade led us to a table in the back, and we all settled in as a waitress appeared to take our orders. I ordered a shot called a cement mixer. I’d heard of it, but I’d never tried it. All I knew was that it was supposed to be strong, and tonight, I needed something strong since Chloe had been on my mind the entire fucking day.

Eric raised an eyebrow at me, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he ordered his beer and sat there with a smirk.

When the waitress returned with our drinks, I laughed when she gave a cute little pink drink to Jade.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing. I just find it funny that you ordered something girlie instead of your usual beer.”

“Oh, shut up and drink your cement.” She sipped her drink.

I rolled my eyes as I picked up and then downed my shot. I winced as the taste hit me. It wasn’t the best thing I’d ever tasted, but I only cared about the effect. I motioned for the waitress and asked her to bring me another one. Jade and Eric were talking among themselves, and Adam was watching some of the girls on the dance floor.

“I think I need to get laid. It’s been too long,” Adam said as he sat his beer down and stood up.

I grinned as I watched him maneuver through the swaying bodies. He made his way over to his target—some poor girl sitting at the bar. The girl seemed to like what she saw, and she quickly followed him to the dance floor. Leave it to Adam to score on the first try.

The waitress appeared with my shot, and I downed it quickly. I had snorted a few extra lines before we left, and I was already feeling relaxed. Add some strong alcohol to my system, and I’d be set for the night. I usually had a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, but after a few minutes, I started to feel the beginning of what was sure to be an excellent buzz. Another drink later, and I was set.

I looked up when a pretty blonde in a short red dress approached our table.

She gave me a coy smile as she leaned down. “I’m Carrie. Want to dance?” she whispered in my ear.

She had the same hair color and a name that started with a C. It was as close to Chloe as I was going to get tonight, so I nodded. I followed her to the dance floor and pulled her tight against me as she started to move to the music. My eyes closed as I felt her ass rubbing against my dick. It had been so long since I’d even thought about sex, and this girl was doing everything right.

I spun her around until she was facing me, and I pulled her tight against me. I let my hands roam until they were cupping her ass. Reaching between us, she grabbed my dick through my pants and moaned. Yeah, this girl knew exactly what she was doing. I was hard as a rock as she moved her hand up and down.

“Want to get out of here?” she asked.

“Fuck yeah.” I leaned down and kissed her.

She took my hand and led me through the crowd and out a back door. She obviously knew her way around this place. Instead of walking toward the street to hail a taxi, she led me farther down the dark alley. Warning bells might have gone off if everything wasn’t so fuzzy in my head. In the dim lighting, she looked just like Chloe. By the time she pushed me up against the wall, I was convinced that she was Chloe.

She unzipped my pants and pushed them down, before sticking her hand inside. When she started stroking me, I moaned.

“God, Chloe. That feels so good.”

“I’m not Chloe. I’m Carrie,” she said in an irritated voice.

“Mmhmm,” I said.

She went to unbutton my shirt. When I felt her tongue flick against one of my nipples, I nearly came in my pants. It had been so long since we’d been together.

“I love you, Chloe, so much.”

I almost whimpered when she pulled away.

“I’m
not
Chloe. I’m
Carrie
.”

I heard what she said, but her words weren’t making sense to me. All I wanted was to bury myself deep inside her.

“Lift your dress, Chloe. I want to bury myself inside you.”

“You fucking asshole! I’m
not
Chloe. I suggest you go find her because you’re not getting laid by me since you can’t even remember my name.” She stomped off.

I was left standing in a dark alley with my pants undone and halfway down my legs as I watched her walk away. The fuzziness was getting worse, and I cursed myself for drinking so fast. I wanted to get drunk. I did not want to puke my guts up near some trash.

I fumbled with my pants until I finally pulled them up and fastened them. As I started walking back toward the club, three figures appeared by the door I’d come through earlier. Even drunk, I instantly went on alert as I realized that I was alone and trashed in a damn alley.

“Drake?” a familiar voice asked.

“Jade?”

“We couldn’t find you anywhere! Why are you out here?” she asked as they approached me.

“I followed Chloe out here, but she got pissed and left me alone.”

“You followed Chloe?” Jade asked in a hesitant voice.

“Yeah, but she left me.”

“Did you, uh…did you and Chloe do anything?” she asked.

“No, I told you that she left.”

“Oh, thank God. I thought…well, never mind, it doesn’t matter. Let’s get you back to the hotel, okay?”

I nodded as Eric threw his arm around me to guide me back toward the street. It took both him and Adam to get me into the back of a taxi. I barely realized where I was before they were hauling me out of the taxi and into one of the hotel elevators.

They had some trouble getting me into my room since I had no idea where my key card was. After Jade searched every pocket I had, she finally found it and unlocked the door. They dragged me inside and threw me down onto the bed.

I groaned as I opened my eyes. I could see someone standing over me. “Chloe?”

“No, it’s Jade. You’re drunk, so get some sleep.”

“Chloe, I’m so sorry. I miss you so much. I just want you back. Will you come back to me?”

“He’s fucking wasted,” Adam said.

“Chloe…” I murmured as I rolled onto my side.

“I can’t stand to see him hurting like this. Maybe we should call her,” Jade said.

“That won’t help anyone. All it will do is freak her out, and you said she’s worried as it is. If she knew how bad he was, she’d lose her mind,” Eric said.

“Maybe if she saw how much he needed her, she’d come out here to help him,” Jade said.

“She won’t, and I don’t blame her. She’s dealt with this kind of thing her entire life. She doesn’t deserve to be thrown back into it. Let him sleep it off, and we’ll try to get through to him in the morning, not that I think it will do any good,” Eric said.

After that, I heard nothing. I felt myself drifting in and out of consciousness for a while until the urge to use the bathroom hit me. I stumbled out of bed and all but crawled to the bathroom. When I was finished, I crawled back to the bed and sat down. I felt like shit, and I needed something to help. I looked out the window and noticed that the sun was already starting to rise. I’d have to be up soon anyway, so I definitely needed a pick-me-up.

I opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out my mirror and bag of cocaine. I knew I’d never make it to the living room, so I laid the mirror down on the bed and dumped the coke out. I tried to make lines the best I could, but I could barely see straight. In a can of soda on the nightstand, I saw a straw, so I grabbed it and used it instead of trying to roll a bill.

When I finished snorting the lines, I threw everything back into the drawer. I glanced at the bag. That was funny. I thought I had more coke than that this morning, but the bag was now empty. I shrugged and then slammed the drawer shut. I draped my body over the bed as I felt it take over.

I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, Jade was standing over me, shaking me, as she screamed at me. I groaned once before I started vomiting.