Take a Breath (Take 1) (3 page)

 
 “One of the neighbours heard your screams and luckily the back
door was unlocked so he was able to gain entry.  He managed to
yank him off you before, before.”  A little sob escapes her lips
before she continues, “There was a fight and Alan managed to get
away.  I doubt very much he will come back now.”

He
never did but the police searched for him and we moved as soon as we
could on to the next venture.  My mum has always been funny with
ever me since that incident and I always felt in the way of
everything.  I’m so glad now I’m older and can get away from her
when I want to.  Alan has never been found, he seems to have
disappeared into thin air and so be it, he was a monster.  I think
my mum found the whole thing embarrassing and just wanted it to go away
as quickly as possible. At times I still think about what happened that
night and I can’t stand the smell of whiskey anywhere near me because
of it.

My
mind quickly comes back to the car and I see Jake glaring at me. 
Does he know?  If he does, that was such a cruel comment even from
him.  “I don’t understand Jake, why are you so mad and what do you
mean by, I need protecting?”  

 
  He shakes his head, “Nothing.  Men just seem to fly around
you.  You’re like honey to a bee and you make people
crazy.”  

 
  I’m stunned by this, what does he mean?  I look at him in
shock, “Are you angry with me?  What is it you would like me to
do, move out?”  He visibly winces at my comment and tightens the
steering wheel.  

   “No, of course not.  Forget I said anything.”  

 
  He turns and puts the car in drive and we head off back
home.  The rest of the journey is made in silence and I’m feeling
sober all of a sudden not knowing how to think or react.  He parks
the Range Rover in the garage and we unlock the door.  The house
is silent and all the lights are off.  

   “Stella, Matthew?”  Jake shouts around the house.  

 
  I hear a door open upstairs and Matthew pops his head over the
stairwell, “Hey Dad, hey Ana, did you have a good time?”  

    I turn and look at Jake suddenly feeling a heavy weight on my shoulders from the whole day. 

 
  He looks over to me expression unreadable and then looks up at
Matthew, “It was eventful.  Where’s Stella?”  

    Matthew shrugs his shoulders, “I haven’t seen her since I came in.”  

 
  Oh dear, where is she?  “When was that Matthew?” I ask
trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably.  I have a bad
feeling in my gut.  

   “Well, I’ve been in since about 4.30, and there was no one here.”  

 
  I find myself walking down to the basement bedroom where she
normally sleeps.  She says that it’s because Jake snores, but I
never hear him.  The first thing I do is fling her wardrobe door
open and I see an empty space staring back at me.  My shoulders
sag and I’m suddenly enraged knowing full well that she has fled yet
again.  How could she do this to Jake, to Matthew, to me?  I
pick up one of her favourite ornaments sitting on her bedside and I
throw it at the wall.  It falls in tiny pieces as I slump to the
floor in a heap.  I can hear Jake and Matthew upstairs shouting
for me but I can’t move, what a shit day.  They both stand at the
bottom of the stairs staring at me in disbelief.  They look at me
and then at the debris on the floor.  Jake is about to say
something when I point to her wardrobe. He has to know, I can’t hide
this from him.  He walks over, peeks inside and lets out a deep
breath.  I get up from the heap I’m in, suddenly feeling
exhausted.  I look at Jake with tears in my eyes and say, “I’m
sorry Jake.”  I walk up the stairs and head for my room.  How
can my day get any worse than this?  I bet he wishes he never met
the Sinclair’s.  I slump on my bed and punch the pillow.  She
hasn’t even had the decency to write a note, she’s just vanished,
again.  I don’t know why she does it.  I suddenly feel this
horrendous relief, but I feel guilty because I know Jake must be so
upset that she’s decided to leave, but all I am now feeling is
relief.  She’s out of my life.  I can finally get on without
her.  I let out a deep breath and before I know it, I’m falling
into oblivion.

Chapter 3

The
sound of the alarm waking me at 6:30am was an unwelcome one.  My
head is pounding.  I look up and quickly realise I’m still dressed
from last night.  Wow, I must have been dead to the world.  I
get up and walk over to my bathroom.  I quickly pour some water in
a glass and take some Advil out of the cabinet.  I pop the tablets
and start to get undressed for a shower.  Once I’m done I look in
my wardrobe for inspiration.  It’s still hot, must be at least
seventy degrees outside and the day hasn’t even started yet.  I
put on a nice grey pencil skirt, a white blouse and some black high
heels.  I’m feeling better already.  I make my way the mirror
and apply my makeup and blow dry my hair.  By the time I’m
finished its 7:15am.  As I climb downstairs I suddenly remember
that I have to clear that mess I made up from last night.  I go to
the cupboard on the landing and begin my journey down to the
basement.  I get to the bottom and find that there’s nothing
there.  

   “I cleaned it up last night.”  

 
  The voice makes me jump.  I turn around and find Jake in
all his glory.  His hair is swept back this morning making his
eyes a piercing green as ever.  He’s wearing a crisp white shirt
and grey trousers and he he’s adjusting the cufflinks at the end of his
arm.  “Do you want me to help you with that?”  I
offer.  

   “No, its ok I got it thanks.”  

 
   Great now he doesn’t want me near him.  “I’m really
sorry I did that last night Jake and thanks for cleaning it up for
me.”  

 
   He sags a bit and sighs, “I tried calling her last night
but I think she may have disconnected her phone.  She’s not left a
note or anything.  Do you have any idea where she may have
gone?”  

 
   I don’t know what to say, do I tell him the truth or will
it hurt him too much?  “I have no idea Jake, I’m really
sorry.”  

 
   He looks disgruntled, “I’m sure we’ll figure something out
Ana.  Do you want to take the day off, I’ll understand if you
don’t want to come in today?”  

 
   I look baffled, why is he being so nice to me?  I
thought he would be throwing me out by now.  “No, I’m fine really
Jake but thank you anyway.  I’ll go get the keys to my car and get
going I think.  Is Matthew up yet?”  

 
   He looks at me and frowns, “I got Matthew up just now;
he’s getting ready for school.  You can come with me again today;
I should be finished the same time as you again if you
want?”  

     I look up into those eyes and smile, “Ok, that’ll be good, thank you.”

We
say our goodbyes to Matthew and head out to work.  The sun is
shining and it is a beautiful day.  I love the start of summer it
is my favourite time of year.  The winters here are too cold and I
just want to curl up in bed for three months and hibernate.  It’s
always times like that I wish I was a bear.  It is weather like we
have now that you feel you don’t have a care in the world.  How
far from the truth can that be now? 

We head down the route 7 and we are almost there when Jake suddenly speaks, “Have you eaten Ana?”  

 
  I quickly realise I haven’t eaten since yesterday
lunchtime.  No wonder I had a banging headache this morning. 
So much has been going on, I have actually forgotten to eat.  

 
 “You have to eat Ana, it’s important.  You didn’t have
anything last night either did you?  You have to take better care
of yourself than this.”  

 
   I sigh and he quickly turns into a McDonald’s about ten
minutes away from work.  “Jake, we’re going to be late.”  He
turns the ignition off and looks over to me. 

   “I’m getting you something to eat, what do you want?”  

 
  I frown at him and fold my arms.  I’m behaving like a child
now, but he is trying to tell me what to do.  “I’m not
hungry.”  He grunts and gets out of the car.  A few minutes
later he is back with the brown paper bag and slides up on his
seat.  He passes the bag to me.

   “Eat Ana, now.”  

 
  I huff out a ‘no,’ and I can tell he’s getting angry.  I
really am behaving like an insolent child and I’m getting hungry now
that the smell is hitting me from the bag, but I’m still being stubborn
because he is trying to tell me what to do.  

 
 “Ana, I’m not going to start this car until you start
eating.  I don’t care if I make you late, we will sit here all day
if it takes that long.”  

 
   I look over to him.  I’m super angry.  I can’t
believe this sudden interest in me.  Before at home we would talk
and do things as a family but it would always seem to me that he was
somehow trying to avoid me.  Lately he had taken more interest, so
much so that he is now blackmailing me to eat.  I grab the bag in
a huff.  “Fine,” I say with gritted teeth.  I take what looks
like a Sausage and Egg McMuffin and place it in my mouth; I let out an
unwelcome moan as I bite down into it.  I didn’t realise I was so
hungry.  I look over to Jake and he is sitting there looking
rather uncomfortable.  He wriggles in his seat and then
smiles.       “My job here is done, now let’s get
to work, I have a thousand things to do.”  

 
  I put my hands up exasperated, “You have a thousand things to do
and yet you hold me hostage in your car until I eat?”  He beams a
big smile like he is pleased with himself.  

 
 “It was deemed necessary Ana.  You have to keep
healthy.  I know a McDonalds isn’t healthy but it was the quickest
thing to order on the menu that wasn’t too messy for you to eat in a
hurry.”  

 
  I find myself gorging on the McMuffin and I’m a little annoyed
that he is right.  I let out a little hiccup and Jake looks over
to me and beams. 

   “Told you.”  

 
   I wriggle in my seat and mutter ‘told you,’ under my
breath.  Jake looks over with a cheeky grin.  

   “Hey, what was that?” 

 
  He proceeds to jab me in the waist and it tickles so much that
it hurts my stomach.  I laugh and try to grab his hand to push him
away.  He looks like he’s enjoying himself.  I finally manage
to grab two of his fingers and that jolt goes through me again. 
He looks over and the smile quickly fades as we’re fixed staring at one
another.  We are brought out of our trance by a car horn blaring
at us from the front.  Jake quickly looks up and sees the car
making a turn in front of him.  Jake had missed a stop sign and
nearly crashed into the car.  He stops dead to avoid a
collision.  

   “Hey watch it asshole.”  

 
  Jake looks at the man behind the wheel of the Jeep Trinity and
mouths, ‘I’m sorry sir.’  The guy shakes his head but carries on
driving.  Jake looks pissed now and the rest of the journey is
made in silence, the moment lost.

Chapter 4

We
both get in to work and all eyes are upon us as we walk in.  Jake
nods in my direction and I head off to my desk.  Jessie is sitting
there smiling expectantly.    “So Miss Thang, why are we late
this morning, did someone keep you up last night?”  I flop in my
chair.  “Babes, what’s wrong?”  

 
  Obviously seeing the sullen look on my face and concerned look
on Jessie’s, I have no option but to tell her.  “My mum has gone
again.”  

    She looks confused, “Ana, what do you mean your mother’s gone again?”  

 
  I let out a heavy sigh, “She’s done it again, taken all her
things and gone, vanished without a word or note, nothing.  Jake
tried to call her but she has disconnected her phone.  I don’t
think we’ll hear from her again.”  Jessie looks taken
aback.  

   “Shit Ana, what a bitch.  Oops, sorry girl but that’s harsh.”  

 
  I smile at her, “Don’t worry about it, I feel the same
way.  I’m used to all this by now.  I feel terrible to admit
it but I’m actually relieved she’s gone, I’ve dealt with so much of
this shit from her, and now I’m done.  I just feel so bad for Jake
and Matthew for making them think we were all one big happy
family.”  She doesn’t deserve a family.  Jessie looks at me
like she’s unsure whether to believe me or not.  “I’m fine,
honestly, so what’s the latest on this killer?”  I quickly change
the subject to avoid any more uncomfortable questions.  

 
 “Nothing really.  It’s very frustrating; he’s very shrewd
and doesn’t leave any DNA evidence.  The psycho knows what he’s
doing.  The guys are working night and day to try and nail this
asshole.  The good news is all the blondes were safe last
night.  No more killings.”  

    I straighten up, “Talking about last night what happened after we left the bar?”  

 
  She shrugs, “Not much really, Tom and I stayed another thirty
minutes after you left, went home to bed and now I’m here, very
uneventful compared to your night I believe.”  

    I give her a grin, “Ah, but tonight may change that with Mr SHOW ME THE MONEY!”