Take Four (27 page)

“I know.” He pursed his lips, as if he were trying to find the
right way to make her understand. “Bailey, this can’t work—you and me. Not now, anyway. We’ll only hold each other back if I stay.”

Anger joined the emotions raging inside her. She stood and walked a few fast steps away before whirling around, her eyes blazing. “How could you say that?” She lowered her voice. The last thing she wanted was for someone in her family to hear them. The chill had worked its way down her body and into her legs, and she shook, unable to believe a word of what he’d told her.

He stood and came to her. “Bailey…”

“No.” She took a step back and grabbed hold of the nearest porch pillar for support. “We’ve been through this, Cody. We have.” She waved her hand toward the driveway. “I told you at the lake there’s only you. No one else I think about, no one else I want to be with.” Tears filled her eyes and she could do nothing to stop them from spilling onto her cheeks. “I bared my heart to you, and this…this is how you handle it?”

“It’s not…” he held his breath for a few seconds and then let it out in a frustrated rush. Once more he made an attempt to reach for her, but he changed his mind and slipped his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “It’s the same thing, Bailey…our lives are too different. God showed me that these past few weeks.”

“It wasn’t God!” She yelled, and once more she forced herself to quiet down. “God would never tell you to leave me, Cody. Not after all we’ve been through.” She shook her head, not caring any longer that she was crying in front of him. “You come back from Iraq and tell me to…” she tossed her hand in the air, “stay with Tim Reed because he’s better for me.” She felt her face twist in angry confusion. “That was a
terrible
idea, because the whole time all I thought about was you.” She glared at him. “You, Cody…do you hear me?”

He blinked hard, fighting tears of his own, his chin quivering. “I hear you.” He looked from the porch ceiling to the midnight
sky that hung over the field out front. Anywhere but into her eyes.

She waited, her chest heaving. The fight was leaving her; she could feel it. In its place a sadness consumed her, and nearly knocked her to her knees, a sorrow she’d never felt before. “Please, Cody,” she sounded defeated, and without the porch pillar, she would’ve fallen to a heap and wept until morning. “For once…why can’t you understand how I feel?”

His chin was still trembling, but finally he looked at her, straight to the place in her heart that would always only belong to him. “Bailey,” his voice was a broken whisper. “Can I hold you…please?”

She wanted to tell him no. If he wanted to hold her he had to promise never to leave, he had to care about her the way she cared about him. But she hurt too much to do anything but take a step toward him. He closed the distance between them, taking her slowly into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her, and clinging to her like the last thing he ever wanted to do was let go. “I’m sorry.” His voice was shaky, a mix of heartbreak and desire that reflected how she was feeling.

“Then don’t go.” She was still crying, sobbing quietly against his chest. “Coach here at C-C-Clear Creek and never leave.”

He pressed his face against hers, and she sensed in him a desperation, a certainty that his heart had never agreed to any of this. “I don’t want to go.” He stepped back just enough to see her, his hands still linked around her waist. “I have to, Bailey. I’m looking out for you. For your future.” He released a shaky sigh. “It’s complicated.”

“Only because you make it complicated.” She was still crying, but she couldn’t be angry with him. She searched his eyes, pleading with him. “Don’t you see?”

“I see all this…” he released his hold on her and motioned to her grand house, the sweeping drive and manicured grounds.
“You’re a princess, Bailey.” Tears pooled in his eyes. “You’ve done everything right.” He shook his head, fighting the emotions that seemed to be strangling him. “Now you’re in the public eye, and you don’t need anything damaging your reputation.” The hurt in his voice sounded almost angry. “That’s what I would do, Bailey. Tarnish how the world sees you.” He paused, composing himself. “I won’t do that to you. That’s not what you need.”

“No!” she broke free from him again, her anger back with a vengeance. “You don’t know what I need!”

He tried to take gentle hold of her arm, but she pulled away, and when he came still closer she pushed his chest. “Don’t touch me.” She felt herself losing control. “Not if you don’t know me after all this time, Cody. Stay away.”

“Bailey, please…” he wouldn’t back up, wouldn’t give in. She flailed against him, trying to break free. But tenderly he caught her in his arms, and before she knew what was happening he had her face in his hands and he was kissing her—kissing her and holding her. And for the sweetest moment, even as she was still crying, there was only her and Cody and this kiss she’d wanted every moment since he’d walked through the front door.

“This is how I feel,” she spoke the words between their desperately sad kisses, because even now—when she wanted to stay like this forever—she knew deep within her that he wouldn’t stay. This wasn’t a beginning, it was an end, and she wondered if she would die from the pain. “Cody,” she pulled back, breathless from the intensity of their kisses and the desperate sadness of what was coming.

He looked at her, lost in her eyes once more. His lips were parted and he looked torn between kissing her again and telling what his eyes were already saying. “I can’t stay.”

“Listen…” She grabbed hold of his shoulders, fistfuls of his sweater clenched in her fingers. She had to tell him, because if she didn’t…if she let him leave without saying how she felt…she
would regret this moment as long as she lived. She released her hold on him with one hand and wiped her tears, her eyes never leaving his. “I love you.” Saying the words felt wonderful, and for the first time since they’d come out onto the porch Bailey felt truly happy. A happiness that couldn’t be dimmed no matter how sad the moment. “That’s how I feel. I love you.” She sniffed, and she smiled despite the fresh tears that filled her eyes. “I’ve loved you for so long.”

Surprise flashed in his eyes and he shook his head, slowly, subtly at first and then with more intensity. “No, Bailey. You can’t…there’s someone else for you. I’m…I’m all wrong. A girl like you should have a—”

She took hold of his face and this time she kissed him, in a way that rendered him incapable of doing anything but kissing her in return. His arms came up along her back and he kissed her until it was impossible to tell where desire ended and heartbreak began. She didn’t want to hear him tell her how wrong he was or that she deserved someone else, and so she kept kissing him, loving the way it felt to be in his arms and to know that here, now he was hers. Completely hers.

But after a minute or so he broke free, his breathing fast and jagged. “We can’t…I have to go.” He looked almost angry with her, as if her kisses had only served to confuse him. “I’m not coming back, Bailey. I can’t.” He raked his fingers through his hair as if he was trying to find the strength to continue. “I waited…so I could tell you goodbye.”

He was leaving, and she couldn’t stop him. She realized that, and as she did she made a decision that he would not walk away from this time together with her yelling at him or sobbing. “Go, then.” She lifted her chin, her vision blurred by unshed tears. “But this isn’t goodbye.” She shook her head, holding her ground, giving him the distance he seemed to need right now. Her eyes
shone, and she could see all the way to his soul. “You can’t make me stop loving you, Cody Coleman. You can’t.”

For a few seconds he looked like he might pull her back into his arms and forget he’d ever said a word about moving away. But instead she watched him fight himself, fight the love he felt in his heart—even if he wouldn’t admit his feelings to her. The muscles in his jaw flexed, and he gave a single shake of his head. “When…when I get settled, I’ll call you.”

“No.” She wouldn’t look away, wouldn’t let him make the rules.

“Bailey.” His eyes begged her to make this easier. For the first time there were tears on his face too.

“I won’t wait that long. I’ll call you and I’ll text you and when I can’t go another day, I’ll find you.” She felt tears hit her cheeks once more, but she maintained her smile. “You’re wrong about us…but if you need to leave, then leave.” She wiped her face with her fingertips, still lost in his eyes. “But I won’t ever let you go.”

There was nothing left to say. He swallowed and rubbed the palm of his hand roughly beneath his eyes. Then he hugged her once more, as long as either of them could stand it. Before he pulled away, he kissed the top of her head and quickly walked to his car without looking back. Bailey stayed there, leaning on the porch pillar, watching him go. He was wrong about God, wrong to think the Lord would want him to leave now—when everything was almost perfect. God didn’t want them apart. God had brought them together. He was the One who had convinced her long ago that no one would ever love her the way Cody did. She could see the truth in his eyes years ago, same as she could see it tonight.

She watched his car move down the driveway, watched as he turned left and drove out of sight. Her tears seemed to come from an ocean somewhere inside her heart, and she could do nothing to stop them. He could move to Indianapolis, but this wasn’t the
end. She wouldn’t let it be the end. She loved him, and she would keep her word—calling him and texting him, finding him when she couldn’t draw another breath without looking into his eyes. If he needed time, she would give him that. But one day she would make him see God wanted them together, and no one could ever be better for her than him. She would pray for him and believe with every passing day that this wasn’t the end, until one day he believed it too.

Even if it took a lifetime to convince him.

K
EITH WAS GRATEFUL HE’D CHOSEN TO
hold the premiere for
The Last Letter
there in Bloomington. Andi’s baby was due any time, and the last place he wanted to be the day after Christmas was two thousand miles away from home in LA. Instead, the premiere was taking place in half an hour at Kerasotes ShowPlace East 11—the nicest theater in town, not far from the university.

Most of the cast from
Unlocked
had flown in today to be here. That way they could make the Indiana premiere and also be on hand for reshoots and any last-minute work on the film. Keith didn’t expect a lot of photographers and paparazzi, like with the Los Angeles Film Festival showing of
The Last Letter
. This would be more low key, which was fine with Keith. People in towns like Bloomington were the ones Keith figured would be most touched by the movie.

Andi had chosen to stay home, and Keith and Lisa understood. If one photographer were to take her picture walking into the premiere alone and pregnant, and if the paparazzi were to do even a little research, the story would be all over the tabloids. Keith wasn’t afraid of what people would say about his daughter. She’d made a mistake, and now she was handling the consequences as well as she could. It was Andi he was worried about. She didn’t want to be the center of a media attack on Keith or Jeremiah Productions—not now or ever.

Besides, Andi was tired and she’d seen the film a number of times. She’d kissed him and Lisa goodbye and assured them she was fine. She was planning to read the rest of
Unlocked
, and turn
in early. Keith and Lisa were in the lobby of the theater, making sure tables were set up with commemorative thank-you cards for everyone who attended, and seeing to it that bags of popcorn were lined up, ready for their guests. Keith had given out a hundred tickets, and the rest had been offered to the public. The show had sold out a month ago, and now Keith could hardly wait for the minutes to pass.

“We should go outside.” Lisa checked her watch, and then adjusted Keith’s suit coat. “You look very handsome, by the way.”

“I look okay?” His heart raced, and he wondered what the scene was like at theaters across the country.

“Perfect.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. “I’m so proud of you, Keith, of all you’ve accomplished. Your dreams about a mission field in moviemaking…they’re all coming true.”

“Not yet.” He gave her a nervous smile. Moviegoers needed to show up this first weekend, or the movie could disappear in financial disaster. But there was no way to know for several days, so Keith forced himself to focus on the moment. “What time is it?”

“We have twenty-five minutes.” She took his hand and they walked toward the front doors. The theater had set up a red carpet for their guests, and Keith and Lisa wanted to be outside to greet everyone as they came in. As they stepped outside, Lisa gasped softly. “Look at that!”

A line of people stretched down the chilly sidewalk and around the building, all of them craning their necks, looking to see who was arriving, and hoping they’d be let inside soon. In the parking lot a line of SuVs had pulled up, and two theater attendants were clearly keeping them from stepping outside until Keith and Lisa were there. One of the attendants motioned to Keith to hurry. “Let’s do this!”

Keith’s heart soared. He hurried to the edge of the red carpet, waving a couple times to the line of people. Was this really happening? Had this many people really turned out to see
The Last
Letter
? Lisa grinned at him as they took their places. The first carload held the Flanigan family. A valet attendant took the car from Jim Flanigan, and the group moved onto the carpet—all of them clearly excited about the experience. They waited for a moment as Keith greeted them and thanked them for coming.

“We wouldn’t miss it,” Jenny hugged Keith, then Lisa. “The world needs more films like this.”

Bailey looked wore a dress that turned heads, long navy silk draped the length of her body, and the hem of a white cashmere coat swished a few inches above the ground. Her hair hung in dark curls, and her eyes glowed with a beauty that could only come from within. She was poised and at peace, comfortable in this world—because of her deep and abiding faith, no doubt. Keith hugged her, and Lisa whispered, “Before you know it, we’ll be at the premiere of your movie!”

Only then did Keith notice half a dozen photographers gathered on either side of the carpet. They snapped hundreds of photos of Bailey and her family, Keith and Lisa, and then a buzz came over the staging area as Brandon Paul stepped out of the next car.

Keith watched him, how he graciously waved to the people in line and then to the photographers before heading straight to Bailey Flanigan. No question the guy was infatuated with her, and Keith was grateful for Bailey’s resistance. As much as Brandon had changed for the better since he’d arrived on set to film
Unlocked
, Keith still would’ve hated to see him date Bailey Flanigan. Between the tabloid frenzy the two of them would create, and Brandon’s extensive worldliness, a relationship with him would sorely threaten her innocence. It was something Keith worried about at first—after he saw the intensity of Brandon’s pursuit.

But he shouldn’t have doubted Bailey. She was strong in her faith, and she had the support of a great family. Instead of caving in to Brandon, she’d held her ground and he’d taken to doing a Bible study. Now, watching Brandon hug Bailey and walk alongside
her, he could see again the young actor was smitten. But he could see something else too: a change in Brandon’s eyes. They needed to keep praying for him, that much Keith was sure about.

With the cameraman snapping a constant stream of photos, the Flanigans and Brandon headed inside the theater, and a stream of Baxters began making their way down the carpet. Ashley and Landon and their oldest son, Cole; Ryan and Kari and their oldest, Jessie. Keith was glad they’d kept the little ones at home. The movie was appropriate for any age, but it wouldn’t keep the attention of a preschooler. Next came Luke and Reagan, Erin and Sam, and Peter and Brooke with a few older kids between them.

Finally when Keith was sure his guests had been seated, they opened the carpet to the waiting public. In ten minutes the theater was packed, and attendants were carefully guarding Brandon and Dayne and Bailey. Already Keith had made an announcement that this was a special premiere for the producers’ family and friends. “Please don’t use this time to ask for autographs. Tonight let’s all just be an audience together.”

The people in the seats might’ve been practically frantic over the idea of watching a movie with Brandon Paul—let alone Dayne Matthews—but they respected Keith’s wishes, and there was no mad rush for photos or autographs. Once the theater was seated, Keith thanked everyone for coming, and as the lights dimmed he took his seat between Lisa and Dayne. After a few seconds the movie began. Keith had watched it come to life from the very beginning—through the script phase and while they hired the right actors for every part. He’d been in the editing room as he and Chase Ryan brought the picture to life, and he’d traveled the country through six film festivals while it won a series of awards.

In all, Keith couldn’t count how many times he’d seen the film, but none of them had made him feel the way he did right
now—seated in a movie theater on the opening night of his first major motion picture. Somewhere in San Jose, Chase was doing the same thing and he wished just this once they could’ve been together again. Because this was their dream come true.

But it was Dayne’s dream, also, and Keith believed with all his heart God had improved the strength of Jeremiah Productions when he brought Dayne aboard. Still, as the movie started, he was filled with nostalgia for all they’d been through, all that had led them to this place, this night. Throughout the film, Keith did what he’d learned to do at previews and festival showings of the movie. He didn’t listen to the dialogue on screen so much as he listened to the people around him. His heart swelled with hope when the audience laughed at all the right parts, and when they quietly sniffed and reached for tissues during the many poignant scenes throughout.

The message of the film was clear by the final credits. A college kid thinks life is meant to be lived fast and frenzied, with a high budget and high-end tastes. until he reads the last letter written to him by his dying father. Only then does he understand that the real meaning of life is faith and family—things money can’t buy.

Timing for the film couldn’t have better—debuting the movie the day after Christmas when buyer’s remorse was hitting many Americans square in the face. All the shopping and wrapping and gift-giving typically fell a little flat on December 26, when people stepped back and tried to assess what they’d done, and what was accomplished by the money spent.
The Last Letter
held an answer for those people, if they were paying attention. And by the sounds of the people around him, they were.

When the movie was over, the audience rose for a standing ovation, many of them still drying their eyes. Then, just as quickly, they sat back down and began filling out their response cards—which they’d received at the door. Keith’s heart pounded
inside him. All over America, the first showing of their movie was wrapping up. What reactions must be coming from people even at this minute, and how would the film be received? Most of all, had
The Last Letter
filled the seats? Lisa hugged him and whispered near his ear. “Stop worrying.” Her face beamed with joy. “This is your moment. Live in it!”

She was right, and he busied himself around the room, thanking people for coming and accepting one round of praise after another. Strangers came up to him, and in broken words they told him they’d been changed, that they would never look at life the same way. Near the top of the theater, a group of people had formed a circle and they were praying—someone in the middle had her head bowed and she was weeping. A few spots down from where he was standing, a husband and wife held hands lost in an intense conversation intended for just the two of them. Was this what was happening across the nation? Scenes of redemption and healing filling theaters across America?
Thank you, Jesus…I feel you here…this is your movie, your moment.
Keith had not expected this, not for a minute. He thought he’d have to wait until the reviews hit—or at least until hours later when they were reading the response cards—before knowing what people thought of the movie, but he was wrong.

The reaction was playing out before his eyes.

B
AILEY LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE MOVIE
. Her part was small, but she was grateful to be a part of it all the same. She noticed the few times when Andi was in the background as an extra, and she wished things were different, that she hadn’t succumbed to Taz’s charm and that she could still have her innocence—the way she’d had it in the film. But God had His hand on Andi, and He would make beauty from the ashes of her life—same as He did for all of them.

Including her.

She smiled at Brandon as he winked at her from across the theater. He was talking to his fans, happy to oblige them with autographs now that the movie was over. But it was clear to her and probably everyone in the theater that he only had eyes for her. When they’d first sat down, Brandon had unabashedly taken the seat beside her. “Let ’em talk,” he had whispered.

She had laughed, but only because she wasn’t worried. She’d kept her distance during the filming, and now the paparazzi had moved on to other targets. No one would think anything of them sitting next to each other here. Before the movie had started, he gave her a lost-in-love look. “You take my breath away, Bailey,” his voice was barely audible, but his intent was unmistakable. “See?” He grinned at her. “I’m still here.”

“And you still make me laugh.” She patted his knee, and her expression softened. “Seriously, Brandon. I missed you. I’m glad you’re here.”

She meant what she’d said. Brandon was fun and good looking and he brought enough energy into any moment to make her dizzy. But on this night—like every night since Thanksgiving—the ashes in her life came from a loss too great, too personal to talk about with anyone except her parents. The loss of Cody. In the end, she hadn’t called him or reached out to him the way she’d planned to. He’d asked for time, and she was giving it to him. But with every passing day she only missed him more. She’d come to believe something was terribly wrong with him, otherwise what possible reason was there for him to move to Indianapolis.

Was it that Cheyenne girl? Bailey didn’t think so, and lately she wondered if maybe something were wrong with Cody’s mom. He hadn’t talked about his mother in their brief contact since that night months ago when he’d left after her mysterious message, and whenever Bailey had brought her up or asked how she was doing, he gave only a brief answer and quickly changed the subject.
Even in their talk Thanksgiving night, he hadn’t mentioned her.

As the message in the movie had played out, Bailey caught herself wiping away tears, because Christmas was over and she and Cody were apart. If she didn’t figure out a way to reach him, maybe they’d never find their way back together again. By the time the film ended, and Bailey and her family had bid goodbye to the producers and Brandon, Bailey had come up with a private plan, a way that might at least shed some light on what had gone wrong with Cody. After the New Year she would go by his mother’s house and find out for herself how the woman was doing. Maybe then she could start to find her way back to him, start to find what she was looking for. The same thing Andi wanted…what all God’s people wanted when life didn’t go the way it was supposed to go.

Beauty from ashes.