Take Heart (16 page)

a     m     e     l     i     a

Sherry was gracious enough to give me the next three days off so I could go back home for a “family emergency.” That should be more than enough time to figure all this out and get me back to Austin. I’m grateful to have a job because the cost of my flight was outrageous due to last minute booking. Chase had to wait on standby for another flight out, but he eventually got one. He was insistent on coming along for support, and once again, he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Shocking, I know.

Hadley is supposed to meet us here at the Salina airport as soon as Chase lands, which according to the arrivals screen, should be any minute. I’ve already been here for a few hours. I’ve been wandering around aimlessly, listening to music on my headphones, and reading a book to help pass the time. I think it’s safe to say that I’m starting to go stir crazy.

While I was waiting for my connecting flight to board in Dallas, I did some digging and found out my mom was charged with a DUI and disorderly conduct. According to Hadley, she was arrested before the house was broken into, so she’s fine. Her bail is set at one thousand dollars, but I’m not going to pay that to get her out. You can go ahead and attribute that to my delayed rage.

Unfortunately, she’ll probably be released soon since it’s only her first offense. If it were up to me, she’d rot in there. That’s quite a change in mentality from a couple months ago. Back then, I would’ve paid the bail, and taken care of her, no questions asked. Now, I’m only here to assess the house damage, and check to see what all was stolen. If I’m lucky, we won’t even have to cross paths. But then again, I’m not exactly known for having luck on my side.

I’m sitting down listening to music, when all of a sudden, a pair of rough hands brush up against my temples and remove my earbuds. I tilt my head back to catch an upside-down glimpse of Mr. Tall, Dark, and Sinful standing behind me. He smiles crookedly, and leans down from above to kiss me like the dark angel he is. His halo of brown hair falls around his eyes when our lips touch. My breath catches.
Will it always feel like this?
His kisses are like a powerful sedative coursing through my veins. I instantly feel mollified. No wonder I’m addicted.

He pulls back to drop a tender kiss on my forehead. “Come on; let’s get the fuck out of here. I hate airports,” he growls.

I text Hadley to let her know that we’re both here. Standing up, I grab Raven’s Italian leather satchel that she let me use as a carry-on, and sling it over my shoulder. Since I’m only going to be here for a couple days, there was no reason to bring a large suitcase. Plus, the majority of my stuff is still in my bedroom at my mom’s house. At least, that’s what I’m assuming, but I guess we’ll see. I don’t really care anymore. Whoever it was that broke in can take the whole damn house; in the long run, they’d probably be doing me a favor.

We turn onto my street and pull into the driveway of my old home. My mom’s car is nowhere to be found, but that doesn’t surprise me. There’s a light dusting of snow on the ground that matches the color of the house. All of the tree branches are cloaked in frost and decorated with icicles. It’s beautiful outside at first glance, but it’s a deceptive beauty. In reality, everything’s completely cold, dead, and lifeless, just like this house sitting in front of us.
How comforting.

“Ready?” Hadley asks, breaking into my super uplifting thoughts.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I respond, unbuckling my seatbelt.

“Let’s get this over with.” She turns off the car and unbuckles her seatbelt. Chase opens the rear door and climbs out of the back.

The twenty-minute drive from the airport was nice; I was able to catch up with Hadley. Chase didn’t contribute much because he was too busy looking out the window. It occurred to me that he probably doesn’t get to see snow very often. I’m sure for him it’s a treat, but for me it’s a nuisance. When you’re a kid, snow is awesome because you get to go sledding in it. When you grow up, it sucks because you have to drive in it.

Hadley and I just finished discussing how her classes have been going at Bethany, and now she’s filling me in on all of the town gossip that I’ve missed.

“Oh, my God, did you hear about that crazy bitch who got arrested last night for a DUI?” she asks, as we’re walking up the driveway.

“You know, I think I heard that somewhere, actually. Supposedly, she caught a disorderly conduct charge, too,” I play along.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t surprise me. Her presence has always been extremely annoying and disruptive, even when she’s sleeping. I heard her house got broken into. Talk about karma.”

“I know, right? I don’t know how that daughter of hers puts up with everything.”

“Didn’t you hear? Her daughter just up and left. It’s long overdue if you ask me, but things are going pretty well for her these days. I always knew she’d land on her feet. She has a new job. Oh, and she met a smoking hot guy. Apparently, he’s quite the lover between the sheets.”

“Hadley!” I screech and nudge her with my elbow. It knocks her back a couple paces.

Chase starts laughing behind us. My hands fly up to cover my flushed cheeks. I’m so thankful it’s cold outside so I can attribute the color of my face to the weather. Hadley quickly regains her footing, her long blonde hair bouncing along with each stride. She casually throws an arm around my neck. We make our way up the stairs to the front door. So far, I don’t see any evidence that the house was broken into.             

I jiggle the doorknob. It’s locked. I gave my key to Hadley, just in case there was an emergency and she needed to get into the house. Reading my mind, she reaches into her pocket to pull out her keys. She unlocks the door and pushes it open. I grasp the doorframe and take the first step inside. The wood creaks loudly beneath my feet as a gust of cold air hits me. The temperature inside easily rivals what it feels like outside. I wrap my arms around myself for a sense of warmth and comfort.

It feels like it’s been years, rather than months, since I’ve set foot in here. I’m so far removed from this place now—like I don’t belong here anymore. Nothing’s changed. It’s all exactly as it was. Then it occurs to me why I feel so out of place. It’s because one thing
has
changed: me.

The walls are the same horrendous canary color they’ve always been, but age and smoke residue have dulled the paint over the years. Bottles are scattered on the coffee table and across the floor in disarray. The floorboards are filthy, and there’s a stench of stale cigarettes mixed with something else unpleasant that I can’t quite pinpoint—s
poiled milk, maybe?

I flip the light switch to turn on the ceiling fan and air out the room. Nothing happens. Impatiently, I walk until I’m underneath the fan blades and reach up on my tiptoes to yank the chain down. Nada. I try the chain for the light. No dice. I look back at Hadley who looks just as confused as I do.

My God….

The electricity’s been shut off.

“Damn it, Mom,” I curse under my breath.

Not fully believing it, I stride into the kitchen and turn on the faucet, but nothing comes out.
When did this happen?
I open the fridge and I’m met with a potent sour smell that about knocks me on my ass.

Looks like I’ve found the mystery stench.

I hold my breath and briskly shut the door. Nothing’s frozen in the freezer. To top it off, my mom’s vodka stash is missing. In the seven years that I’ve been dealing with drunk Mom, she’s never let her stash deplete—ever. I’m guessing whoever broke in found it and decided to help themselves.

I slam the freezer door out of frustration, making the contents inside shift and rattle. I sulk back into the living room. Chase is standing against the wall with his hands tucked into his coat pockets. He’s wearing an uncomfortable expression on his face, and he hasn’t spoken a word since we entered the house. It’s extremely awkward. I feel humiliated and ashamed that he has to see this. Why couldn’t he just stay behind like I’d asked? Does everybody have to be a hero these days?

This is exactly the type of thing I wanted to avoid. No matter how hard he tries, I know he won’t be able to
unsee
all of this. I’m afraid he’ll treat me differently from here on out. I can’t let that happen. My relationship with Chase is the single, most important thing in my world right now, and I don’t want that to change. With all of the other uncertainties going on, I need us to remain strong and stable.

“I need to look around and see what’s missing,” I finally say, breaking the awkward tension in the room. The sooner I finish this, the sooner I can leave. It’s a good thing I already made arrangements for Chase and me to stay at Hadley’s tonight. Otherwise, we’d be freezing our asses off.

“First, can you show me where they broke in?” I ask Hadley.

She nods and turns to walk past the staircase and down the hallway. I quickly conclude that it has to be the side window in the laundry room. That’s the only logical explanation because all of the other windows on the first floor are intact.       

Sure enough, the window has been smashed and there’s shattered glass all over the floor. I shiver, not because it’s cold, but because seeing the window taken out makes this real. Images flash through my head of some creepy man walking through here in the middle of the night with no one to catch him. I’m glad my mom wasn’t here when this happened because being all alone in this house would have been traumatizing.

“I would’ve cleaned up the glass, but I didn’t want to touch anything just in case there were fingerprints or something,” Hadley explains.

“Prints are shoddy, at best. Temperatures and weather conditions can affect the preservation of fingerprints on surfaces, especially glass. I’m not a cop or anything, but I’m guessing if no one saw this guy break in, then you guys are probably shit out of luck,” Chase says. His back is up against the doorway with his foot propped up against the frame. He crosses his arms over his chest.

“How do you know about the fingerprints thing? Are you a CSI junkie? It’s okay if you are. Admitting that you have a problem is the very first step toward recovery.”

He laughs. “No, I’m a carpenter who works with wood and glass all day, babe.”

“You’re a
carpenter
?” Hadley asks in disbelief. She whips her head around. Her brown eyes eagerly find mine. “He’s a carpenter?” she whispers. “You told me he was a bartender.”

“I’m that, too, but carpentry is my day job,” he explains, pushing himself off the doorframe with his foot.

“So hot,” she mouths and fans herself for effect.

I swat at her arm. “When are you going to move to Austin? I miss you like crazy.”

“After I’m done with college, I’m all yours,” she promises with a smile.

“Good, because I really need my other half back.

“Oh, my God. Don’t even get me started. It’s so fucking boring without you here.”

I laugh. “Come on, let’s check the house and find out what’s missing.” 

After a quick but seemingly thorough inspection, we find that the only things missing are the alcohol from the freezer, some of my mom’s good jewelry, and one of the TVs. Everything else seems to be here. I also discovered the back door was unlocked, so whoever was here probably used it on their way out. That was an oversight on my part.

I snag a medium sized cardboard box from my bedroom and head downstairs to tape it over the windowsill in the laundry room. It’ll have to do until I can get someone over here to fix it, hopefully tomorrow. Chase is sweeping up all of the broken glass, while Hadley writes down what’s missing. We’re all quick and efficient, resulting in us being able to get out of here in no time. Thank God for that. We lock up the house behind us, and then we’re off to Hadley’s place to finally have some fun.

c     h     a     s     e

I once read somewhere that the amount of clutter in your house is a direct reflection of how tidy your life and emotions are. Personally, I think that’s bullshit. If you ask me, it’s all about personality traits. Messy people are messy, and organized people are organized; simple as that. It has nothing to do with the state of your life. But let’s consider the possibilities for a minute. If there’s even an ounce of truth to that theory, it would certainly explain why Nancy’s house is as much of a train wreck as she is.

I don’t know what I was expecting when I walked in, but what I got was something else entirely. Everything was so dirty and cluttered. There were dishes in the kitchen sink that probably haven’t been washed in a month. Stains and cigarette burns covered the upstairs carpet. There were piles of stuff everywhere. I felt claustrophobic. Have you ever seen an episode of
Hoarders?
That’s what Nancy’s house reminded me of. It looked like something you’d see straight out of that show. I’m supremely confident that jail is a step up for her. At least it’s warm in there.

If there’s one thing I can take away from this whole experience, it’s that I’ve never appreciated my parents more than I do right now. I almost want to call my mom just to say thank you for putting up with all of my shit, and acknowledge all that she and my dad have done. My life wasn’t perfect, but at least I grew up in a safe environment where I knew I was loved. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for Mia.

I tried to keep my reaction to a minimum when we did the walkthrough. I could tell Mia was bothered that I saw everything. I’m sure she felt exposed and put on display for all to see, but she’ll just have to get over it. I’m not going anywhere. I meant what I said about coming here to support her. I love this girl, and that means I’m here through hell and high water.

When we get to Hadley’s place, we order pizza, stay in, and chill. It’s too damn cold outside to do anything else. We’re all lounging on the couch watching
Shaun of the Dead
. Turns out, Hadley is a zombie fanatic. It’s quite entertaining to watch her and Mia go back and forth on what a “real-life” zombie would actually be capable of. I have to give them both props. They know their stuff. These two are fully prepared for an apocalypse should one arise.

Once the movie is over, it suddenly hits us how tired we all are. I feel like I’ve been run over by a Mack Truck. All I can think about is my face hitting the cool side of a pillow, and Mia’s gorgeous body wrapping around me like a vine. The latter sounds pretty damn good.

“I hope you guys are okay with the futon, because it’s either that or the floor,” Hadley says. 

“The futon is perfect,” Mia assures. “Thanks again for picking us up and letting us crash here.”

“Yes, thank you, Hadley,” I second.

“Anytime. Mia knows that. It sucks that it had to be under these circumstances, but I’m excited regardless.” She leaves the room and heads down the hallway.

Hadley is one awesome chick. She’s pretty much the blonde version of Mia, so it’s no surprise why they get along so well. They share a lot of the same mannerisms, they have similar personalities, and they wear the same styles. Today she’s sporting a pair of blue Chucks, skinny jeans, a red tank, and a long-sleeved flannel shirt. She gives off the same hipster vibe that Mia does, although I think Hadley is a little more tomboyish.

She’s currently residing in a small, one-bedroom apartment. From the looks of things, it appears she’s heavy into art. Her walls are decorated with framed vintage posters and her entertainment center has hand painted designs that run down the sides. The furniture is a bold red, and there are lots of unique, colorful trinkets lying around. The ceiling has occasional water damage spots and the walls have some slight cracks here and there, but it only adds to the energy of her place. Surprisingly, it doesn’t look dirty or run down. Contrarily, it’s very worn in and eccentric. It all looks effortlessly thrown together, but I can tell she put a lot of thought into the placement of her furniture and decorations.

She reemerges with a thick, heavy blanket in her arms and some spare pillows. She tosses everything down on the futon. “Alright you two, I’m off to bed. You guys help yourselves to whatever. Mia knows her way around, so if you need something, ask her.” She looks over at Mia adoringly and says, “Night, slut,” then starts to walk off. She takes a few steps, stops abruptly, and looks back over her shoulder. “By the way, don’t even think about tainting my futon. I’ll know if you do. I’m everywhere,” she warns.

I let out a long, exasperated sigh. “Alright, fine. We’ll move it down to the floor.”

“Chase!” Mia reproves.

Hadley bursts out laughing. “Don’t be so uptight, Mia. I like him already. I think he’s a keeper,” she says decidedly, and walks out of the room.

Mia is mortified. Her cheeks are crimson, either from embarrassment or anger. Probably both.
Great, now I feel like an ass again.

“Get over here,” I say, tugging her towards me. Caught off guard, she stumbles forward a little bit and I catch her by the waist. She straightens herself and lets out a heavy breath. I move in to kiss her but she pulls away, resisting me. I release my hold on her hips and give her the space she’s looking for. She begins to pace back and forth restlessly. Her arms are crossed over her chest as if she’s protecting herself from something. I’m trying to read her expression so I can get some idea of what’s wrong, but her face is composed. Watching her pace is starting to make me anxious.

“Hey,” I say softly. “I’m sorry if I upset you.” The only thing that’s coming to my mind is the poorly timed joke I made a minute ago.

“No, it’s not that. I mean, yes, that was embarrassing, but that’s not what’s bothering me.”

I frown. “Then what’s bothering you?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Lay it on me, babe,” I insist.

She wastes no time getting right to the point. “I’m worried about what you think of me after seeing the environment I grew up in. I don’t want you to think less of me and I don’t want to lose you, Chase. That would break my heart. I’m completely in love with you. That puts me in a very compromising position. I went from being solely independent, to depending on you a lot recently. You have the power to take that all away from me. I also feel like I need you. I’m not sure that’s a healthy thing. I’ve never really had anything to compare this to, so I don’t know if that’s normal or not.” 

I don’t say anything. Instead, I respond by grabbing her face and kissing her deeply, hoping to dispel those silly thoughts from her head. When I pull back to study her reaction, she appears to be even more flustered than she was to begin with. It’s obviously going to take more than a simple kiss to make her feel better this time. She needs consoling.

“First of all, I love you. Now, let me address the rest of your concerns. If you truly believe I think less of you after today, you are out of your damn mind. If anything, I think more highly of you than I did before—if that’s even possible. I got a firsthand glimpse into what your life was like and what you’ve had to deal with. I don’t know how you did it, babe. I find you to be so incredibly brave. It’s really fucking sexy,” I add, aiming to make her smile. “As for your independence, you are still independent. I know it probably doesn’t feel that way all of the time, but you are, I promise. You couldn’t be overly dependent on me if you tried, Mia. You don’t have that capability in you. One of the perks of being in a relationship, is you get to lean on me when you need to, and vice versa, love. It’s all about give and take. I know how important it is for you to be your own person and establish your own life. I would never try to take that away from you. I just want to lessen the burden, that’s all.

And since I’m on a roll, your feelings for me are not unhealthy. I know it’s easy for me to say that since I’m the recipient, but it’s supposed to feel this way. Love is intense. But I know if I royally fucked up tomorrow, you wouldn’t think twice about kicking my ass to the curb. It would probably hurt like hell, but you’d be able to move on. You wouldn’t let the demise of our relationship be the demise of
you.
Don’t you see? It takes a strong, healthy person to maintain that. Not everyone can be that stable. Look at what happened to your mom when your dad left. She couldn’t deal. And when he died, I think a part of her died right along with him. She may never be able to come back from that.” I tilt her chin up. “But you aren’t her, baby. You are so much stronger.”

She’s looking up at me with wide eyes. Her breaths are coming in quick, short pants, like she just finished running a marathon.

I lean forward and press my forehead against hers, resting it there. “I’m here for you,” I say simply.

Her shoulders relax and she closes her eyes, exhaling a sigh of relief. That’s all she needed to hear. She just wanted a little reassurance that I’m not going anywhere.

Her breathing slows to a steady rhythm. We’re standing so close that I can feel the swell of her breasts brushing up against my shirt as she inhales. Our heated breaths are lingering on each other’s lips and my mouth is so close to touching hers that I can almost taste her. It’s excruciating and tantalizing all at once. Thanks to the low-cut black sweater she’s wearing, my eyes are met with a wonderful cleavage shot. She has a light dusting of freckles across her chest, and it only adds to her beauty.

Man, she has great tits.

The sexual tension grows thicker. Not a single word passes between our lips, but we can both sense each other’s arousal. She opens her eyes and lets them simmer into mine. I gradually trace her bottom lip with my thumb. Her lips are so soft and smooth—just like the rest of her body. She reaches up to wind her fingers around my wrist and slowly turns her head to lay a kiss on the inside of my forearm. My body jerks slightly at the small gesture. She swings her gaze back to mine.

“How am I supposed to avoid tainting the futon when you’re looking at me like that?” I ask, my tone serious.

“Who said anything about the futon? I had something else in mind,” she says with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

Well, damn. I can’t argue that. I rest my hands under her jaw and lean in to press my lips into hers, taking my time on the way down. The anticipation is palpable, sweet torture. When our lips finally touch, my heart fails. She feels so good against me. I’ll never get tired of it. It’s incredible, nothing short of divine.

I free her lips for a moment. “Have I told you how beautiful you look today?”

She shakes her head.

“Well, you look fucking gorgeous,” I assure her. “Ball-bustingly beautiful.”

She rolls her eyes. “Shut up and kiss me again.”

A genuine smile spreads across my face and we pick right back up where we left off. Her arms snake around my waist and she pulls me in even closer. Our bodies are crushed together with no more room left and it still doesn’t feel like we’re close enough. I need to be inside her.

Reading my mind, she starts walking me backwards without bothering to remove her lips from mine. I’m trying to stay quiet and not trip over anything. I open my eyes to take in my surroundings but hers are still closed. Hadley was right; Mia knows her way around this place like it’s her own.

She swings us to the right and moves down a narrow hallway. The first door we pass is closed. I assume that’s Hadley’s room. The next door is the bathroom. Mia backs me in there, breaks the kiss, and turns on the light. She spins around, gently closes the door, and locks it, barely making a sound. The bathroom is small. The counter is filled with makeup, hair products, and lots of other girl shit. We’ll have to work around that. There’s no way Hadley is asleep yet, so the goal is to be as quiet as possible. Who am I kidding? She probably already detected us. I don’t care.

“Take your pants off,” I whisper.

She removes her shoes and begins to undo her jeans. Using both hands, she carefully slides them over her perfect little ass, making an erotic show out of it. My pulse quickens as she shimmies out of them. They drop to the floor in a puddle at her feet. I grasp the hem of my shirt, bringing it up over my head. I throw it off to the side and it makes a faint noise as it hits the floor. I grab her sweater and repeat the process. She’s standing before me looking like a goddess in her bra and panties. My eyes roam over every inch her gorgeous figure. Her bra has a front clasp.

Thank you, God.

And while I’m at it—please bless the person who created that.

I take step back and start to unbutton my pants. She grabs a hold of my hands and pushes them out of the way. “No, I want to do that,” she whispers firmly. Her fingers deftly undo my jeans and she yanks them down over my thighs, lowering herself down along with them. She adjusts her body so she’s perched up on her knees and grabs the waistband of my boxer briefs. Giving it a good tug, my cock springs free, fully ready. She licks her lips in anticipation and looks up at me through a set of long, dark lashes.

She places one hand on my hip and wraps the other one around the base of my cock, slowly easing me into her mouth. Her tongue swirls around the tip and she moans upon her descent, making me quiver. She moves up and down at a steady flow, letting me savor it. She’s taking it nice and slow, like I do with her. Unfortunately, tonight won’t be one of those slow nights, though. I’m already too wound up.

She eagerly picks up her pace and increases the suction. She takes me as far as she can while pumping me with her hand simultaneously. I have to bite my cheek to keep myself quiet because the combination feels so good. Sweet Jesus, this woman can give amazing head. I feel myself building and I know I’m not far from spilling over the edge. If I don’t stop this now, I’ll finish in her mouth and that’s not what I want.