Take Your Shirt Off and Cry: A Memoir of Near-Fame Experiences (22 page)

BOOK: Take Your Shirt Off and Cry: A Memoir of Near-Fame Experiences
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I never formally declared I was giving up acting—maybe because I haven’t. Anyway, I don’t think many actors actually do. You
may go on to do other things, you may never act again and still, you don’t say it. Perhaps it’s too painful, even years later,
to utter the words “I gave up acting” or “I’m not an actor anymore.” Or maybe it’s because you hold out just a tiny bit of,
not hope . . . let’s say fantasy that something, some part, in the right circumstances might coax you back to stand once again
in someone else’s clothes, speak someone else’s words, under the lights. Or maybe it’s just not something you can shed: once
you’re an actor, you’re an actor for life. By the way, I still think I would make a pretty fucking fabulous Alexandra Del
Lago, aka “the Princess Kosmonopolis,” in
Sweet Bird of Youth.
And I’m the perfect age—“not old,” as the Princess would say, “just not young.” The age when you know for sure that there
is no victory over time—the trick is to be heard. Because, remember folks, only people who are full of shit whisper.

Acknowledgments

I am eternally grateful to the following people and animals:

My agent and
knight-errant
,
the brilliant (and ridiculously hot) Bill Clegg.

My superb, exceptionally insightful editor, Anton Mueller, who descended in a Glinda-like bubble of serendipity.

Panio Gianopoulos for his edits and notes on the first draft.

Colin Dickerman for his friendship, his guidance, and for buying my book in the first place.

Matt Hudson.

Rachel Mannheimer.

Everyone at Bloomsbury USA.

Joe Danisi and Stephanie Cannon—the awesomely fabulous directors of Naked Angels Tuesdays@9, where many of these pages were
first read.

Two phenomenal writers who are equally phenomenal friends, Mike Albo and Cintra Wilson—I am forever in your debt and love
you both so much!

Robin Aiello, Tom Bollinger, Baret Boisson, Edward Burke, Ken Burrows, Charles Busch, Meg Busch, Joan Byfield, Rob d’Entremont,
Scott Durkin, Hope Edelman, Florence Falk, Peter Frechette, the Goodman family, Barbara Graham, Daintry Jensen, Hettie Jones,
Wendy, Gerry, and Kimberly Kleinbaum, Cintia Marangoni, Dave Menendez, Eric Myers, Michelle Phillips, Michelle Rivera, Tisha
“Teddy” Slote, Daleet Spector, Toby Tumarkin, Joanna Virello, Vivien, Jacob, and Uri Zighel-boim, the members of the ASH-X
salon, all the guys down at Pasita, and of course my parents, for their many years of support.

A huge Kathleen Turner–style bow to the audiences of
I Slept
With Jack Kerouac and Other Stories
(especially the Ladies from Orange County);
Cause Celeb!
,
Schwag
,
and, last but not least, Naked Angels Tuesdays@9 (
especially
the actors—I love you guys!!).

Ira and Fosse—I love you; thank you for loving me.

Max—I miss you.

My husband, best friend, and first editor, Joel, for endlessly championing my dreams, and even though you once told me I should
“leave things like leaf descriptions to people like William Faulkner,” I love you with all my heart.

My darling, Colette, who makes every day beautiful . . . I love you, sweet girl, so, SO much! Hurray, Boo Boo Bear!! Let’s
go get our sundaes!!

And finally, I would like to thank David Mamet, without whose long-ago encouragement and inspiration there would be no book.

A Note on the Author

Nancy Balbirer is the author and star of the critically acclaimed solo show
I Slept With Jack Kerouac and Other Stories
and the cocreator of the cult reading series
Cause Celeb!
She has costarred on
Seinfeld
and MTV’s
Remote Control,
performed off-Broadway, and appears regularly in New York City’s alternative cabaret scene. She is a graduate of NYU’s Tisch
School of the Arts and the co-owner, designer, and doyenne of the West Village boîte Pasita. She lives in Manhattan with her
husband and daughter.

BOOK: Take Your Shirt Off and Cry: A Memoir of Near-Fame Experiences
10Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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