Taken (23 page)

“I can’t believe I’m lying naked in the bed you slept in as a little girl.” You wrap the ends of the quilt around us. “It’s not somewhere I ever imagined being with you like this.”

“It’s nice.” I run my lips down the bridge of your nose. “I always wanted a guy in this bed with me.”

“I bet you were a horny little teenage chick, weren’t you?” You poke my side, making me squirm.

“You have no idea.”

Your eyebrows shoot up and your dimples blossom in your cheeks. “Girls Gone Wild?”

A spurt of laughter erupts from my throat. “Hardly. I was shy. I had one boyfriend for six months of my senior year.”

“He was the lucky one, huh?”

I thread my fingers through your hair, loving how the silky smooth locks feel running between them. “I wouldn’t say lucky, but he was the first.”

You raise you head and nip my neck. “He was one lucky bastard.”

“What about you? Tell me about your first time.”

Your eyes follow your finger across my collarbone and your expression sobers. “It wasn’t altogether memorable.”

“You have to remember your first time.”

You grimace, but only for a second. “It’s hazy.”

“Were you drunk?” There’s a story you’re hiding from me. You said you didn’t want to hide.

“No. It’s more like selective memory. I selected not to remember it.” You squeeze me and kiss my shoulder.

“Why? Was it bad?”

You nuzzle into my neck. You won’t look at me. “I was young. Too young.”

“How young?”

“Twelve.”

I shove your shoulders down so you have to look at me. “Twelve? Merrick! How?”

You smirk. “I think you know how, Rachael.”

I purse my lips. I don’t need sarcasm right now. “With who? Did you want to?”

You laugh. “Hell yes I wanted to. I shouldn’t have, but I wanted to. She was fifteen. The babysitter. Heidi was asleep. Dad wasn’t home.”

“Wow,” I whisper. “The babysitter. Did she initiate it or did you?”

A crease forms between your brows. “I’m not sure. It just kind of happened. It was fast.” You chuckle. “I’m sure you can imagine my prowess at twelve. Two Pump Pete.”

 
“Did you use protection?”

You drop your eyes and shake your head. “I had no idea what I was getting into.”

“You were too young. She didn’t…”

The words
get pregnant
linger unspoken between us.

Your eyes close. You’re barely breathing. “Her parents paid a visit to my dad. They said they’d take care of it. I never found out
how
they took care of it.”

I bolt upright, straddling you, slapping my hands over my mouth. “Oh my God, Merrick. You could have a kid out there somewhere.”

You shake your head, your eyes wide with panic, and grab my thighs. “No way. It’s not like I’m hard to find. She would’ve had me in court paying back child support by now. She would’ve taken me for millions if she had my kid.”

“Have you tried to find her? How can you not know? Doesn’t it drive you crazy?”

The corners of your lips tug down, and you turn your eyes from mine. “I don’t know her last name.” You pat my leg. “My first and probably biggest fuck up.”

I grab your chin and make you look at me. “Your dad probably knows her last name and what happened. You need to ask him.”

You hold my wrist and ease my hand from your face. “I won’t speak to him for any reason.”

I curl my arms around your hand and hold it against my chest. “He—or she—would be about twenty now. Someone to take over your business since you’re so hell-bent on hiding out at the hotel and dropping out of your current life.”

Your chest expands and your face tightens into a pained expression. “Don’t,” you whisper. “Please. I can’t think there’s anyone out there.”

I lean back down, my chest against yours, and slide my hands under your neck. “What are you so afraid of?”

“I’m not a good man, Rachael.” Your voice cracks. “I can’t be someone’s father. I’d be no better than my own.”

I sit back up and poke my finger into your chest. “That. Is. A . Lie. You know you wouldn’t be like him. He abused you. You wouldn’t do that.”

You pick my hand up and squeeze my finger. “I wouldn’t call it abuse. That would mean he didn’t ignore me entirely.”

“Neglect is abuse. He neglected you, didn’t he?”

You shrug. “He got me a babysitter.”

We both burst out laughing even though it’s not something to find funny. At least it relieves the wave of sadness that had washed over us.

“Fine. I’ll let it go. For now.” I trace my fingertip over your lips then lean down and kiss you, first your upper lip, then your lower, teasing and tender. “I’m glad you told me. This is how you get me to trust you, by opening up to me.”

“I’m an open book for you, Rachael. Ask me anything.”

I’m addicted to your lips. “I would if I could stop kissing you long enough.”

“Ask me later.” You grab me in a bear hug and roll me back over with your lips pressed to mine, both of us laughing.

This is real. We’re not in Turtle Tear, but it’s real—a new real, somewhere to start at least. And I like how we’re starting.

“This is new,” I say, taking a bite of my burger. We’re sitting at an outside table under an umbrella at a small restaurant downtown.

You swallow a sip of your Coke. “What’s new?”

“Us eating together.” I wink.
 

You grin. “Only because we’re in public.” You reach under the table and pull my foot up onto your lap, nestling it right between your legs. “But we can be discrete.”

I tap my foot against you lightly. “You must trust me to be in this position.” I pop a fry into my mouth and giggle.

You make a throaty, growling sound. “I trust that you want me to be able to use it sometime in the near future.”

The waiter stops at our table and glances back and forth between us. He knows he’s interrupted something very personal by the embarrassed look on his face. “Can I get you anything else?”

You grind my foot against you. “I think we have all we need.”

I pull my lips in, smothering a laugh as the waiter leaves the bill on the table. When he leaves, I tug my foot away from you. “Will you ever let me have a meal in peace?”

“Probably not.” You pick up a cherry tomato from your salad and hold it up to my lips. When I open my mouth, you pop it in and I kiss your fingers. “You’re too tantalizing to resist when your mouth is full and your lips are moving. Reminds me of how you looked this morning when your mouth was full of me.”

“Shh!” I almost choke and dart my eyes around us to see if anyone has heard you while you crack up laughing. “It’s not funny.”

“The look on your face is priceless.”

I can’t help it, your laugh is contagious and soon we’re both sitting there snickering. I stand up and stick a finger in your dimple. “Are you ready to go, or do you want to humiliate me some more?”

You throw some cash on the table and take my hand. “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know. Back to my mom’s I guess.”

“Why not your apartment? Are you avoiding more humiliation?”

I turn to you, uncertain what you mean. “What are you talking about?”

“Are you embarrassed to introduce me to Shannon? Would it be awkward for you?”

“Awkward? No. She’s just…” I cringe. “Nosey. Pushy. Opinionated. She’ll ask personal questions and make innuendos. Then she’ll never leave me alone about what I should do with you and when and how. She’s the one who will embarrass me, not you.”

You tilt your head and narrow your eyes. “Are you attracted to people who want to control you, or do they seek you out?”

I put my hands on my hips and glower at you. “Well, in your case, you sought me out.”

You laugh and take my hand again, leading me down the sidewalk. “I thought you said you didn’t find me controlling.”

“Only because that position is taken in my life, but you want to. You control everything in your world.”

“Does that mean I can count on you to be
in my world?”
You swing our hands between us.

“Yes. I thought we got past this.”

“Then you’re going back with me?”

I stop walking. The thought of going back there—with Joan—sends a shock of panic through me. “I don’t know.”

“Why is your hand shaking? What’s wrong?” You pull me into a hug and hold me. “Tell me why you’re upset all the sudden.”

“I can still feel her touching me,” I whisper.

You sigh and press your forehead against mine, holding my head in your hands. “I’m so sorry, Rachael. I didn’t know you’d react this way. I never would’ve--”

“Stop.” I press my hands against your chest. “I let her do it. I’m just not sure how to wrap my head around that fact.”

You jerk back to look at me. “What do you mean? What’s to wrap your head around?”

I throw my hands up. “Merrick. I let another woman…
fondle
me.”

You shake your head not following my dilemma. “Yeah…”

I watch my foot slide in and out of my sandal, clasp and unclasp my hands. “I didn’t stop her right away.”

Your hands rest on my shoulders. When I glance up, one side of your mouth quirks. “Because you liked it. It’s okay that you liked it.”

“Is it?” My heart pounds. “I’ve never thought about a woman touching me.”

You caress my cheek. “Rach, it doesn’t mean you want women now. If she would’ve wandered into the bedroom and you were alone, would you have let her touch you?”

“No. It was what you wanted. I did it for you.”

“You liked it because it was me touching you through her. It was for us. I wanted you to like it.” You cup my face with both hands and kiss me. “We’ll never do it again. Only I can touch you. Okay?”

I stare into your deep, dark eyes and smile. “Only you can touch me, huh? You really are a control freak.” I grab the back of your head and pull you in for another kiss. “It’s a deal.”

Your hand whacks my backside with a sharp crack. “I didn’t forget you asked me to punish you.”

I pinch your nipples through your t-shirt and twist. “I’ll punish you back.”

“Ow!” You pull my hands away, laughing. “Woman, you’re going to be the death of me.”

Chapter Fifteen

Standing hand-in-hand on my mom’s front porch, you lean down and place a soft kiss under my ear. “I have some work to do before a meeting with my lawyer. I’d like you to come along tonight so I can introduce you. We’re settling some paperwork and having drinks in the bar at the hotel.”