Authors: B.N. Toler
Tags: #romance, #suspense, #new adult, #toler, #where one goes
“I know I must look awful,” I huff. “Do I have time to wash my face and dress before breakfast is ready?”
“Ten minutes,” Connor responds, watching me with mirth filled eyes.
“Be right back.”
As I exit the kitchen, I can’t help smiling to myself when I hear Dusty say, “One hundred percent lady.”
It took me fifteen minutes to get back to the kitchen. I decided on a quick shower instead. Then I had to rewrap my toe. The cut doesn’t look so bad today, thankfully, and I find when wearing flip flops it’s manageable. Connor has set plates on the table and is dishing eggs out when the screen door creaks open. I close my eyes. Damn.
“Demi! Where are you at you two cent hooker?” Lexi rounds the doorway and stops in her tracks. She looks like she managed a shower this morning before showing up unannounced.
“Good morning, Alexis,” I mumble.
“Hey, Lexi.” Connor juts his chin in acknowledgment. “Want some breakfast?”
Lexi gives me a bright smile as she bats her eyes obnoxiously. “Why, I’d love some, Connor. How kind of you to offer.”
I shake my head as she scurries toward the coffee pot and pulls a mug from the cabinet above while Connor sits another plate out and dishes some eggs on it. When she finishes, she takes a seat on the other side of Dusty and smiles. “Hi.”
Dusty smirks as if he’s amused by her, but it’s not hard to see he likes looking at her. My sister is a beautiful woman. “Hi, yourself. I’m Dusty.”
“Lexi,” she answers sticking her hand out, and they shake.
“Friend of Connor’s, I presume?”
“Yes. The wild little sister, I presume,” Dusty responds. Lexi looks to Connor and twists her mouth in a smirk.
“So you’ve been talking about me, Connor? I’m flattered.”
“I’m sure he meant it as more of a warning to his friend,” I chirp, grinning at Lexi, so she knows I’m kidding.
“I told him you liked to party,” Connor clarifies.
“Well, I haven’t heard a thing about you,” Lexi ignores Connor and me and remains focused on my mother’s worst nightmare sitting in front of her.
“I’m an open book, ma’am. What would you like to know?”
“Ma’am?” Lexi questions, making a weird face at me, like, who is this guy? “How old are you?”
“Thirty,” Dusty answers. “You?”
“Twenty-nine. Are you married?”
Dusty holds up his left hand, showing his ringless ring finger. “Nope.”
“Girlfriend?” Lexi continues.
Dusty lets out a little chuckle. “Nope.”
“You live around here?”
“Yep,” Dusty answers as he bites a piece of bacon. “Just moved to town.”
“Been to prison?”
“Yep,” Dusty replies, meeting her gaze for gaze.
“Would you like to have dinner with me at my mother’s house?”
I nearly choke on my eggs. “Lexi,” I hiss. Lexi laughs as she smacks my back. “Okay, maybe not at my mother’s house, but maybe just dinner?”
Dusty looks at me, and I immediately look away. I’m staying out of this. “Maybe the four of us could hang out sometime,” he finally answers.
Lexi, to my utter astonishment, looks shocked. She expected Dusty to be on her like white on rice. This may literally be the only time I’ve ever seen her speechless.
“Yeah, sometime soon,” Connor intervenes, saving us all from Dusty’s shutdown.
Lexi recovers quickly and begins babbling on about everything from how hungover she is to how she’s going out again tonight. And of course, as soon as we’re done eating, she has to rush out, late for work. At least Dusty has the good grace to offer to help with the dishes, but Connor refuses his help, asking him to go in the garage and take a look at the Harley because he thinks something is wrong with the muffler or something.
“It was nice meeting you, Demi,” Dusty says, before he leaves. When the screen door slams, I move my gaze hesitantly to Connor, who’s watching me with his arms crossed and an unsure sideways smirk on his face. It’s the first time we’ve been alone together this morning, and it’s the first opportunity the awkwardness has had a chance to fall upon us.
“How are you feeling today?” he asks.
My heart is pounding. A part of me fears he’ll try to discuss last night, and the other part fears he’ll try to ignore it like I intend to do. Does he regret it, too? Why does the thought of that break my heart? But in the end, it doesn’t matter if he does or doesn’t. It was wrong. So I take my easy cop-out. God, the kissing was amazing, his hands all over me. I’ll never forget it as long as I live, but it shouldn’t have happened. There are so many reasons it shouldn’t have happened.
“A little better,” I admit with a chuckle. “I swear I think I blacked out after I cut my toe. It must’ve been the whiskey.”
His mouth turns to a frown as he narrows his eyes slightly, staring hard at me. “So you don’t remember anything after you cut your toe?” he questions, disbelief rich in his tone.
My mouth is so dry right now. I hate lying. Especially to Connor. “No,” I assure him. “But I guess you’re the one that bandaged my toe, so thank you.”
Insert awkward silence here as we stare at one another. He doesn’t believe me. I can tell. And I’m pretty sure that’s because I’m the worst liar ever born. Lexi sucked all the deception abilities out of our gene pool and left me looking like a wounded kitten every time I try to be untruthful. My nose might as well grow like Pinocchio.
He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing, his hard stare fixed on me. “Yeah,” he finally says. “No problem.” Then, he turns from me and busies himself washing the dishes.
Hoping to kill the awkward moment, I try to change the subject. “Was Roxy with Dusty last night? Why didn’t Roxy join us for breakfast this morning?”
Connor twists his neck slightly and gives me a sideways look. “You think you saw Roxy?”
I shrug, trying to be nonchalant. “I thought she came over last night.”
He looks out the kitchen window and shakes his head, letting out a disdained snort. “I’ll finish up here, Demi.”
He didn’t answer my question. That can only mean he’s avoiding it.
She must’ve been here.
I was right about that.
I move beside him and grab the dishtowel, refusing to let him do the dishes by himself, but he quickly takes it from me, dripping water on the counter from his arm and hand.
“I got this,” he murmurs, not looking at me. “You should probably lay down. Blacking out like that can really take its toll on a person.”
If my face conveys half of what his words are making me feel, it reads: I’m a giant asshole. I know I’m lying about blacking out last night, and so does he. But he’s not going to call me on it, and I’m going to run with that because I’m too cowardly to face what happened between us. I wish there were a way for me to tell him that, yes, it did mean something. I want to tell him that I wanted it every bit as badly as it seemed when I was in his arms; that the way my body moved to his, the way my mouth crashed into his was real. I wasn’t drunk. Well, I was, but not too drunk to know I was making a conscious decision. I want him to know that I think about him more than I should; that he makes me feel things I haven’t in so long. But why should I? Why should I tell him these things when it just can’t be?
“Yeah,” I finally manage after clearing my throat. “Thank you for breakfast. I think I will lay down.” I don’t look at him because I can’t. I can’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes. Of course, from what I can tell in my peripheral vision, he doesn’t seem to look at me either.
My cell phone chimes from my purse once I’m back upstairs, and I grab it, flopping down on my bed. It’s a text from Vick.
Can’t wait to see you tonight.
Geez.
What kind of woman am I? I’ve made out with two different men in the span of forty-eight hours. Vick is a nice guy. Not to mention he’s hot and has an awesome sense of humor.
I need to stop thinking about Connor in any way other than Blake’s cousin.
I need a good distraction for this.
I need Vick.
I text him back telling him I’ll pick him up tonight. That I’d like us to go somewhere else other than Turvey’s if that’s okay with him. When he asks where, I tell him it’s a surprise.
He texts back:
I like surprises. ;)
We agree I’ll pick him up at 6:00 pm and then I call Lexi. If I’m ever going to move on in my life, I have to put myself out there. I can’t be afraid to be with a man or around one for that matter. I can’t keep being afraid to be a single woman. I’ll love and miss Blake every day for the rest of my life, but I know, as terrible as it sounds, I don’t want to be lonely for the rest of my days. And I know deep down Blake wouldn’t want that either.
The phone rings and Lexi answers, “Yes, Demi. It’s okay.”
“What?” I respond.
“To give him my number.”
“Who?”
“Dusty,” she says, with a yawn.
My brows rise in surprise. “Umm, hate to burst your bubble there Ms. Modesty, but that’s not why I’m calling.”
“It’s not?”
“No, but I admire your ego,” I laugh.
“He likes me,” she mumbles dismissively. “He just hasn’t figured it out yet.”
“Yeah. Him turning you down for dinner screamed he was jonesing for you.”
“Wow,” she huffs. “You’re kind of being a bitch today.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “Sorry. It’s been a rough couple of days. But listen. I need your help.”
“You do?” she asks, shock evident in her tone.
“I have a date with Vick tonight, and I want to look . . . good.”
“Define good.”
“Like . . . good, Lexi. I want to look pretty,” I snap.
“Like give him an
instant hard-on
look good or like
instant chub
look good?”
“Is there really a difference?”
“Of course there is,” she exclaims like I’m an imbecile.
“Lexi,” I groan.
“Okay, instant chub it is. Let’s take things slow. No need to rush these things. I’ll be there at four.”
“Thanks, Lex,” I grumble.
We hang up, and I set the alarm on my phone to wake me in a few hours. I need my beauty sleep after the long night I had. Taking a deep breath, I try to relax. I’d hoped making this plan, putting out the vibes of trying to be a normal woman, would make me feel better, but as my subconscious lurks and begins to drag me into the depths of sleep, I know no matter how much I laugh with Vick tonight, no matter how many time he makes me feel beautiful and special, all I’ll think about all night is how it felt to kiss Connor Stevens.
“God, I’m good,” Lexi praises herself. And egotistical or not, I have to give her credit. I look damn good. The place I’m taking Vick is outside, and a short dress or revealing top wouldn’t have worked. I’m wearing a knee-length flowy skirt that will allow me to sit on the ground if need be, and a white blouse that hangs off my shoulder. Lexi tied my hair up in a ponytail adding that little bump on the crown and my makeup is flawless.
“I must say, you really are,” I agree. “Thank you, for once again, coming to help me.”
“This help isn’t free,” she warns. “I’ll accept payment in the form of explicit details about the first time you two bump uglies.”
I shake my head. “You are so . . . wrong.”
“I’m kidding,” she pauses, “I mean I want to know, but maybe only minor explicit details.”
“I’m not having sex with him tonight.”
She looks away and shrugs. “What happened with Connor last night?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, heat flushing my face. Does she know something? That’s impossible. There’s no way.
“You two were mighty cozy on the dance floor.”
“Nothing happened, Lexi,” I grumble as I toss the contents of my purse into another one that matches my outfit.
“I hope . . .” she pauses, “I hope you’re not trying to rush things with Vick in an attempt to maybe . . . I don’t know . . . stop feelings you might be having for Connor.”
Her words hit me hard because maybe that is what I’m doing, but I deny it anyway. “That’s not what I’m doing,” I assure her. “I really like Vick.”
“Whatever you say,” she huffs, pointing a
not so convinced
look my way. Heading toward my doorway, she calls over her shoulder, “I’ll be calling in the morning for those explicit details.”