Taking The Heat (15 page)

SYDNEY

Living is a combination of choice and chance. The path our life travels upon is by our own choosing. Similar to playing poker, life is a complex game which requires decisions on our part; the
choice
. The
chance
comes after we make the decision, as we wait for life to deal us a card from the deck; each one potentially having a varying effect on the outcome or end result. We make a choice and reserve hope the chance we have taken is the one which might make all of the difference we had hoped for. Sometimes, the change we see from the card we were dealt is not what we expected, but something we are forced to accept.

“Unexpected visitors are like gifts,” I grinned as I opened the door.

Upon taking a good look at her, it was obvious; Avery was very upset and had apparently been crying. Her eyeliner was smeared all over her face, and her hands appeared to be shaking. Someone I would have expected to be stable at
all
times, I wondered what had happened to make her feel the way she felt. She stepped into the room and immediately placed her hands on my shoulders. After inhaling a choppy breath, she began to cry as she attempted to exhale.

I slid my arm behind her back and began walking toward the table. After lowering her into a chair, I sat down beside her and reached for a napkin.

“What happened?” I asked.

She continued to sob.

“You want something to drink?” I asked as I handed her the napkin.

As she dabbed the tears from her eyes, she slowly began to regain her composure. Her breathing improved from every breath faltering to steady shallow breathing. Knowing women tend to overreact to almost everything, I eagerly waited for her to reach a point where she could explain what had happened. I suspected more than likely Axton had done something in Austin she didn’t totally agree with.

“Whenever you’re ready, I’m here to listen,” I whispered as I reached for her hand.

She nodded her head and took a shallow breath.

“I’m just going to
say
it really fast
. I’m afraid if I try to explain, I’ll lose it,” she said under her breath.

Avery spoke faster than I could possibly listen, so to have her
say it really fast
would be pretty much normal for her. A few seconds after she said whatever it was she had to say, I’d process it and respond appropriately.

I nodded my head as I clutched her hand in mine, “Okay. Just say it.” 

“Toad was shot he’s barely alive with collapsed lungs and they’re operating on him now it’s really bad and he saved Axton’s life by jumping in front of the bullet…I think I need to throw up,” she blurted.

Toad was shot and he was dying.
I fought against the bile rising in my throat. I reached for the napkins, picked one up, and held it in front of my face. One of the kindest men I ever met had made a choice, and taken a chance. For whatever reason, the card he was dealt wasn’t what he had hoped for. My mind fought for answers. I quickly came to the realization maybe it
was
what he had hoped for. Knowing his knack for performing selfless acts and his willingness to help others, the choice he made and the chance he took probably produced an outcome he was prepared for and totally expected.

“How far is Austin?” I asked.

“Ten hours,” she blubbered.

Strangely, I hadn’t cried. Maybe the severity of everything hadn’t sunk in yet. Quite possibly, I was in a mild state of shock, and unaware of the depth of my inner feelings. Either way, I was oddly comfortable and relatively stable. I began to wonder if Toad meant as much to me as I tried to tell myself he did.

I stood from the chair and walked toward the kitchen, “I’m going to call in to work and see if I can take a few days off. I’m going to go down there and see him.”

“Can we…”

“Can we go…together?” she stood from her chair and wiped eyeliner across her face with the napkin.

I nodded my head as I dialed Sarah’s number.

“You’ll have to drive, I’m a wreck,” she sighed as she tossed the wet napkin on the table.

“Let me see if I can get off work,” I sighed.

“I already took off work, my stuff’s in the car. We can take it, but you’ll have to drive,” she said.

As Sarah answered the phone I nodded my head, “Sarah, this is Sydney. I’ve got an emergency out of town, and I need to take off for a few days. Can you and Kate pick up my shifts?”

“I’ll be fine. No, maybe three or four, I’ll keep you posted,” I said.

“Thank you. You too,” I said as I hung up.

“It’s all set. Let me grab a few things. We’ll need to stop at two places before we go,” I said over my shoulder.

As I walked to the bathroom, a rush of emotion washed over me. After I gathered my makeup and essentials from the shower, I braced myself against the sink. A quick glance in the mirror revealed the reflection of a scared little girl, fearful for the loss of yet another loved one. Holding the edge of the sink for stability, I stared blankly into the mirror and tried to accept what Avery had said.

Toad had been shot and he was dying
.

My lips began to quiver. My hands started shaking. Eventually my legs finally gave way, and I collapsed onto the floor.

I grasped my knees in my hands and pulled my thighs against my chest. Without thinking, I began to hum an unknown tune as I pulled against my knees with my hands. As I rocked back and forth on the floor, the humming eventually turned to tears. Slowly, the crying became more intense. In no time, I was a blubbering mess.

As I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder, I tilted my head to the side. Avery sat down beside me, released my shoulder, and clasped her hands around her knees. My entire life, I grieved alone. I never had anyone to comfort me, assist me, or help me understand why I felt the way I felt. Now, as I began to feel helpless, incapable, and as if I was cheated out of the best man to ever enter my life, someone was right beside me through it all. As we both rocked back and forth on the bathroom floor, humming and crying; I glanced at Avery and realized two things.

For the first time in my adult life, I was not alone.

And girls
can
be the best of friends.

SYDNEY

We tend to find comfort while embracing whatever it is we place faith in. The presence of faith provides reassurance, and with it comes comfort. As true faith isn’t something we simply obtain by want or wish, those of us who possess very little faith must first find a place of comfort and hope that faith soon follows.

“Before you go, Miss Sydney,” Junior paused and wiped his eyes.

“You ever felt pain this deep? Before now?’ he asked.

I considered what he had asked. I knew my answer ought to be a simple one, but I was quite shocked by what I felt my response
should
be, considering how I felt. As if he
knew
how much pain I was in, he stood and waited for me to respond.

“It seems weird saying it, but I don’t think so. I really don’t. At least not that I can remember,” I responded.

“Me neither. And, it’s because Mr. Toad has touched our lives with a hand more kind than we ever expected anyone to. He’s a very special man, Miss Sydney, he sure nuff is. My momma says this,” he wiped his eyes with the tips of his fingers and inhaled a deep breath.

Junior rubbed his hands on the thighs of his pants and gazed upward. As if he was reading from a banner in the sky, he recited his mother’s words of wisdom, “God uses our deepest pain as the first stepping stone to our greatest reward.”

“Holy cow, that’s good. I like that,” I said.

“I likes it too. Now you go on and tell Mr. Toad when he wakes up that I’d come on down there and see him, but I gots to stay here and make him proud,” he grinned.

“I’ll be sure and tell him,” I breathed.

“Give me a hug, then you and Miss Avery better get to getting’,” he said as he stretched his arms outward.

As he held me in his arms, I realized I wouldn’t have ever met Junior if it wasn’t for Toad. Grateful for having both Avery and Junior in my life, I gazed in the window of the car at her as I hugged Junior.

“Alright, we better go. It’s a ten hour drive, and we won’t be there until tomorrow morning the way we’re going,” I sighed.

“Drive safe,” he said.

I nodded my head, “I will. And I’ll tell him what you said.”

As Junior turned and walked toward the lawn mower, I reached for the door handle. After a short hesitation and reflection of his mother’s opinion regarding the pain I was feeling, I opened the car door and sat down in the seat.

“Just one more place,” I said as I pulled the door closed.

Avery turned to face me and nodded her head. She looked like warmed over death. As I started the car, I closed my eyes and hoped she could obtain a little satisfaction from our last stop. If nothing else, I knew it would provide me enough strength to make the trip without falling apart.

I reached for the gear shift and pulled the car into gear. As I released the brake and pulled forward, I nervously gripped the gear shift lever in my hand. As Avery clasped her hand over mine, I turned to her and smiled.

As she smiled in return, I came to realize whatever happened, we could get through this.

Together.

SYDNEY

I stood on the root of the tree and stared up past the branches and into the sky. The longer I gazed off into the sea of blue, the more relaxed I became. I released the trunk, crossed my arms, and took a deep breath.

“Don’t…” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

I took another shallow breath and bellowed toward the sky, “You…Dare!”

I sat down on the tree’s large root and closed my eyes. As much as I felt I
could
say, I decided those three words summed up my feelings. I opened my eyes and stood.

“Is that it?” Avery asked.

“Yep, that’s all I’ve got to say,” I shrugged, “You?”

As I stepped from the tree’s root and turned toward the car, Avery walked past me and climbed onto the base of the tree. I stopped and gazed her direction. After wiping her eyes and tossing her hair over her shoulder, she cupped her hands to her mouth and tilted her head rearward.

“What she said!” she screamed.

As we walked toward the car together, I began to feel as if she was the sister I never had; but always wanted. Regardless of the outcome, if we continued to lean on each other, we’d be twice as strong as if we were alone.

“I think he’ll be alright,” Avery sighed.

Without speaking, I turned to face her and raised my eyebrows.

“Devil looks after his own,” she shrugged.

For that moment in time, I wondered just who it was who had possession of Cambio Todelli’s soul. Regardless of the outcome, and even if he fully recovered, I realized I may never know the answer.

SYDNEY

“The bullet impacted his left clavicle, causing a group III fracture on the medial third. It then took a downward path and in doing so, grazed the top of the left lung. The resulting collapsed lung was treated by releasing the pressure in the chest cavity, allowing the lung to expand. Although the tear in the tissue of the lung was small, we weren’t pleased with his immediate recovery from the pneumothorax, or collapsed lung. After consultation with several of the doctors, a chemical pleurodesis was performed. This procedure introduces chemicals through a chest drain, and is typically an extremely painful one. The chemicals cause irritation between the parietal and visceral layers of the pleura; which closes off the space between them and prevents further fluid from accumulating. In a sense, we’re attempting to force the hole in his lung to heal from a result of the chemical irritation.”

“I see, so a broken collarbone and a collapsed lung. Is it typical for a patient with these types of injuries to be comatose?” I asked.

“I’ve learned in my many years of practice that nothing is typical,” the doctor sighed.

“Having said that, to provide you with an answer, I’ll offer this,” the doctor paused and glanced down at his clipboard.

“Sometimes our mind, body, or spirit needs a well-deserved rest. Everyone reacts differently to the same exposures or injuries. Am I surprised in his condition? Yes, and no. I would say a more accurate answer will be able to be given within a few days. He’s a former Marine, and from what his friends have shared, he’s a true fighter. Let’s allow him to continue to fight, and see what changes we see in the next few days,” he said as he picked his clipboard up from the desk.

“Anything more?’ he asked.

I looked up from the floor and shook my head, “No, Sir. Thank you for taking the time to explain.”

He nodded his head and turned away. The smell of the sterile hospital reminded me of the nurse’s station at the orphanage. As uncomfortable as the facility made me feel, I turned toward the corridor and began walking down the hallway and toward Toad’s room. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally stood outside his room. I stared at the number on the wall beside the door.

724.

Unlike other hospital rooms I had been in, the room’s wall facing the hallway was glass. Curtains were partially drawn across the glass wall, but the open door allowed me to see inside. Otis, Avery, and who I assumed was Axton stood beside the bed. The nurse explained three people were the maximum amount of visitor’s allowed, and although their policy included only family as approved visitors, they had and would make an exception for Toad and his
family
.

I drew a shallow breath and walked through the door.

Immediately Otis turned to face me, “Hey Syd, I’m glad you could make it.”

“Me too,” I whispered as he reached out and gave me a hug.

Something about Otis was extremely comforting. As big as he was, and as intimidating as most probably perceived him, I saw right through the façade and into a heart of gold. As he held me against his side with one arm, I exhaled and leaned against him, pressing my face into his side.

As Avery turned to face me, so did the man beside her. The name on his cut and the
President
patch revealed he was in fact who I suspected.

“Avery and I will go on down, she needs to get something to eat. I’m glad you’re here, Sydney. I appreciate you coming with Avery,” Axton nodded.

It was immediately apparent why he was the president of the club. His mere presence and the fact he looked mean even when he smiled would deter the earth’s toughest men, causing them to think twice before crossing him. A few days growth of beard did little to hide his well sculpted face and natural good looks. His eyes and aura advised me to keep my distance.

With her arm around Axton’s waist, Avery nodded her head as they walked past. I smiled at Axton and patted her on the back as they stepped around Otis and me. After they exited the room, I released Otis, walked toward the bed, and looked down at a man who appeared to be dead or awfully close to it. With tubes in his chest, throat, and each arm, he appeared to be more mechanical than human. After a few seconds of studying him, I turned toward Otis.

“So what happened?” I whispered.

“Well,” he paused and began rubbing his temples.

“We uhhm, we went to this meeting…he told you what that was about, didn’t he?”

I nodded my head.

He lowered his hands and gazed down at my feet as he began to speak, “So we were all out in front of the building standing by our bikes and waiting on Axton to come out. Toad spent the entire fucking time we were out there staring across the street at some car. Biscuit starts giving him shit, calling him paranoid for worrying about whatever this guy in the car was doing; but there was something about this car and the guy in it that made him uncomfortable. I don’t know if you know it or not, but the man has some kind of sixth sense about shit going down.”

Although Otis had yet to make eye contact, I nodded my head as I continued to listen.

“So, we’re all just standing and talking, and Axton and some other fellas come walking out. It ends up one of these local fellas of this new Austin chapter is an old Marine friend of Toad’s. So when he walks out of the building and Toad see’s this guy, he all but loses control. Ends up this guy saved Toad’s life in some epic battle in Iraq, and all these years Toad thought he was dead. After Toad gets introduced to everyone else, he turns and makes an announcement to the fellas on who this guy is,” he hesitated and took a few steps to his left.

“So Toad’s standing
here
,” he pointed down at his feet.

“And we’re all standing about where you are, kind of in a line by our bikes. And all of a sudden the car from across the street pulls in the fucking parking lot. Hell, I didn’t notice it, but I heard Toad. He’s starts saying shit to Axton, trying to…trying to uhhm…he was trying to get him to move…you know…move out of the way,” he paused and shook his head as his voice began to covey his emotion.

He shifted his gaze up from the floor and looked around the room for a moment. As his eyes met mine, he continued, “You know, it uhhm, it all makes sense now, but all this shit went down pretty fucking quick, Syd. And at the time…”

He raised his hands to his head again, and began to almost frantically rub his temples, “At the time I wasn’t really paying fucking attention. I don’t know, it was hot and I was ready to get the fuck out of there.”

As I stood in the uncomfortable silence and waited for him to continue, the sound of the monitor beeping became more and more prominent.

“Okay, so this car pulls up, and uhhm….he pulls up, and Toad’s trying to warn Axe…he’s saying shit to Axe, and I uhhm. I’m standing there and it’s all slow motion. Like slowly coming into focus, fuck I don’t know how to describe it. So the fucking guy pulls…he uhhm, he pulls out a…”

Seeing Otis in this condition did me no good whatsoever. For the entire 10 hour drive to Texas, I reserved hope Toad wasn’t really as bad as Avery had indicated. Now seeing Otis, and having him in an emotional state where he was almost incapable of speaking made me realize just how delicate of a situation this actually was. I stared down at his boots as I waited for him to continue.

“Okay. So he pulls out a piece, you know, a pistol, and points the motherfucker out the window…”

“Oh my God,” I interrupted.

“Yeah. You got it. So Toad’s trying to warn Slice and his Marine buddy, A-Train. And this prick says
hey motherfucker, remember me?
So it’s still slow motion like. And I watched him….I uhhm watched…so Toad see’s the piece, and he jumps between the gun and Axton and the A-Train fella, and then there’s this explosion…”

I felt as if I was going to vomit. Hearing him say it made everything seem all too real. I realized I was crying. Without speaking I reached for my cheeks and wiped the tears with my index fingers. Eventually Otis continued with the most gut wrenching part of the story. 

“So it ends up the guy….he uhhm…he and the Marine had a beef a while back, but no one realized this was the guy until it was too fucking late.”

As he finished speaking, I realized my mouth was covered with my hands. I moved my hands to my side, turned toward Toad, and exhaled a breath I had no doubt been holding for the entire conversation.

“And the guy? Did they catch him?” I asked over my shoulder.

“Well, one of the fellas with this Marine buddy of Toad’s was some big mean bald headed son-of-a-bitch. He boxes and street fights for a living; the cat’s name’s Ripp. So this Ripp fucker hops on his bike and shoots out chasing after this bastard before we even know what the fuck’s going on. Hell we’re all in shock and trying to keep Toad from…you know…from bleeding…from uhhm bleeding to death…” he paused and wiped the sweat from his brow.

“Okay, so we find out later this crazy fucking Ripp chases the guy down until he gets caught in Austin’s afternoon traffic. When he does, Ripp dumps his bike on the highway, jumps off, and busts this guy’s window out with the butt of his fucking pocket knife. Then, he pulls this fucker out and beats on him till the cops get there. Only reason Ripp doesn’t get shot, is because this dumb fuck tossed his piece out on the highway.”

“But they’ve got him?” I asked.

“What’s left of him. Apparently Ripp didn’t do him any good. Cops were up here earlier taking statements. Said the guy’s a career criminal. Some guy on the highway saw him toss the piece, and they’ve got it. So they said he’ll probably get life in prison in
this
state, Texas doesn’t fuck around. Anyway, the cop said he actually saw this guy and he looked like he’d been in a head on collision with a train.”

“Holy shit, this is just crazy. So Toad got shot on purpose? He literally jumped in front of the gun to save his Marine friend?” I shrugged.

Otis nodded his head as he rubbed his temples, “There’s uuhm, there’s more.”

As he began to speak, his blank stare warned me of the significance of what he was about to say. When he continued, my eyes became unfocused as I listened to his voice.

“So, we’re waiting on the ambulance, and Toad’s uhhm, he’s uhhm…he’s sinking fast, Syd. He’s uhhm…he’s going in and out of consciousness. Fucking A-Train’s holding him in his arms, telling him a chopper is on the way.
Medevac’s en route
he tells him. Fucking medevac’s en route. So Toad opens his eyes and looks up at the Marine, you know, the one who saved his life in Iraq, and he…he uhhm…he opens them again, and we’re all standing there…knowing he’s fucking dying, Syd. We uhhm, we could
see
it. We could…we could
hear
it. His…oh fuck…his lungs…they were full of blood…and he’s trying to just say
something
. The motherfucker,” he hesitated, lifted his hands to his face, and wiped his eyes.

“He was trying to talk. And he’s uhhm gurgling. And he keeps trying. And he finally opens his eyes again and he uhhm…”

“He uhhm, he opens his eyes and looks at A-Train and says…
we’re even
…”

I couldn’t face Otis. Not in his condition. As big and as tough as he was, he’d reached his limit in telling me his version of what happened. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him turn to face the door. I turned toward Toad and began to cry. His heroic act, and the statement he made to his Marine friend, at least in
my
opinion, summed up just exactly who Cambio Todelli was. A man long since removed from war who continued to fight his own inner battles with what he believed was good, what was evil, and where specifically he should stand. To me his choices were clear. He stood precisely where
he
believed he should; in between evil and the unsuspecting or innocent recipient.

“Can I uhhm. Would you give me a minute, you know, alone with him?” I asked as I stared down at the bed.

“Sure, Cafeteria’s on the uhhm, it’s on the first floor. Take this elevator down, go left then left again, can’t miss it. I’ll head down there. We’ll all wait for you,” he said as he gripped my shoulder softly with his hand.

I glanced around the empty room and wiped the tears form my face. After moving to the left side of the bed, I gazed down at Toad. I cupped my hands around his. I rubbed my hands softly along his palm and fingers, attempted to warm his cold fingertips as I began to whisper.

“My entire life I wanted one thing and one thing only, to have a family; but all I ever had was a brother. My brother was taken from me, leaving me nothing. I met you, and as strange as it may seem, you offered me a family. You, Junior, Junior’s mother, the girls at your restaurant, Avery, and even Otis. All of these people are in my life because of you. I’ve never been happier than I was yesterday. Not that I can remember. And today, I’m in more pain than I have ever felt.”

I stood, looked around the room, leaned over, and rested my face beside his. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and my mouth against his ear.

“I need you to do something for me, Cambio,” I whispered into his ear.

“Not for you,
for me
. I need you
here
. Here in my life. Your time here is not done. Not even close. I need you to come back, Cambio. Not for you, for me,
Capisce
?” I breathed as I nervously patted his shoulder.