Tales of the Hood (17 page)

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When we got to the warehouse there was a blacked-out car parked outside. I ran up to it and banged on the windows but there was no one inside. Vanessa stayed in the car. “I'm going inside. If I don't come out in ten minutes come in to see what's going on but please, be careful.” I kissed her longingly before I jogged into the warehouse.

When I stepped in Jamal was sitting on a chair in the middle with Shakira on his lap. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy so I knew she had been crying. She tried to run to me but he dragged her back firmly. “Jamal this isn't a joke! Just give me my daughter and let's end this now. We're both grown men but yet you're acting like this is a game. You've always acted like this is a game. It's over!” I shouted furiously.

“Well you took your time. Don't talk to me about games because you know damn well why all this is happening. Your stupid brat wouldn't stop crying until I gave her something to cry about. Where's the missus? I want her to see the action,” he said, smiling cunningly.

I felt scorching. My blood was boiling but I had to keep it under control for Shakira's sake. I walked outside and called Vanessa in. If we wanted to get anywhere we had to comply for the time being. We stood together as she sobbed silently on my shoulder.

“So Jayden, why don't you tell Vanessa here why this has all been happening to you? Why I've been doing this to you. There are billions of other people in this world but I so happen to choose you,” he tested.

“I don't know what you're talking about, Jamal. Let's stop this and go home” I replied, becoming increasingly nervous. Vanessa stood straight and looked in my face.

“What's he talking about? Why is this all happening to you? You must have done something. What did you do?” she screamed, finally breaking down at the situation.

“Calm down, I don't know what he's talking about. Please just be cool and I'll sort it.”

“Nah tell her Jayden. Tell her what you done when we was younger. What you and your waste man friend Maurice did. Thought I would ever forget it? Thought I would ever just let it go? Tell her,” he stressed.

“Jayden if you do not tell me what's going on now I swear to God I'll kill you if he harms one hair on my daughter's head,” Vanessa said, backing away slowly. I looked at her serious face and dropped my head in shame. I didn't think it would have to come to this. I didn't think I would ever have to regurgitate the memories from my dark past. A past I was never proud of and spent forever running from.

“I have nothing to tell her Jamal, so stop playing your stupid games,” I lied, trying to wriggle out of the matter. I stepped forward but he rapidly stood up and pulled a gun from his waist. He gripped Shakira's hand tightly and she began to cry.

“I'll tell you what they done since clearly this cat lost its tongue. When we were youngsters, when they thought they were the maddest of the mad, the pricks poured petrol through my letter box and set it alight as a “joke”. A sick joke that got out of hand. That's what everyone referred to it as. Luckily for me I was out and about, but for my little sister and my older brother it was another story. They both died in the fire that day because of your so-called reformed husband. We all know the police don't care about none of us around here so the two pricks got away with it, as if my brother and sister's lives didn't matter. I see him on TV spitting his lyrics deceiving people that he wants to make the ghetto a better place but he knows deep down that the only reason He's doing all this good is to hide the guilt beneath his rotting skin. Why did you think I burnt down your house? Well your old house - my mistake. Did you think it was just some random attack? No, no, no. There was something behind it. There's always been something behind it, Jayden. Now let's get to the night at Holly's house. Don't you remember the taunts and rumours that fool Maurice used to spread around about me? Mocking my femininity? Yeah, I was a bit feminine but you man took it to a next extent with your homophobic movements and your verbal abuse. The past is what turned me into this. He poisoned people's minds into bullying me until I just gave in. I gave in and turned gay, just like everyone wanted. Ever since then I've been denying it to keep my status. The status and reputation needed to survive on the roads. But since we're here I might as well get everything out in the open. That night I actually took pride in making him suffer and gaining satisfaction at the same time. With every push was a reminder of the sick things he said about me; things that alienated me. It was time for him to know how it felt being violated. You're probably wondering why I killed your mum too? Well to be honest it was a spur of the moment decision. The adrenalin running through my veins after you and Maurice got a few bangs in my face was the prime influence. You should have been there; the look on her face when the lads and I kicked off the door. She ran out the kitchen with some sort of knife and lunged at me. Can you believe it? Your mum tried to poke me up. Ha-ha it was so funny when I pulled out my gun and raised it from her legs to between her eyes. I made her beg for her life. Go on her knees and beg. I didn't think she would do it being an independent woman from the Caribbean, but what do you know eh? People do crazy stuff when in a state of fear. I told her to stand up and put my arm down long enough for her to think she got away with it. She actually breathed a sigh of relief and stepped closer towards me as if we were big friends at a reunion. That's when I gave it to her. Clear shot no regrets, never; right between the eyes; no hesitation. She flew back into the living room wall and slid down slowly. It sounds sickening but it actually was quite fun; the drama; the noise; the satisfaction of hearing my enemy's mother begging for mercy. Revenge is a bitch isn't it? Now I only have one thing left to do. Get rid of you!” he said, clearly emphasising every detail.

His lengthy speech filled the room with indescribable emotion. The minor pause allowed me to take a breath I'd been holding in.

“Is this some sick fucking joke? Are you two planning to shake hands any time soon because I can't believe one thing that just came out your mouth. You and your sick fantasies, Jamal. And you have the cheek to put your hands on my child? You're losing it,” said Vanessa in disbelief. She rapidly spun round towards me and saw the tears running down my cheeks. “Tell me this shit isn't true, Jayden. He must be lying. Tell me He's lying!” she shouted forcibly.

I looked at her with nothing but shame and guilt. I couldn't handle the truth being thrown in my face. “We were just kids, Vanessa. We didn't know any better. We thought things would all be sorted by the morning but it didn't work like that. We had been out with the usual gang when we found a petrol tank. That same day Jamal's older brother, Cassius, had an argument with one of the elders and he told Maurice and me to pour it through his letter box and set it alight that evening. It wasn't meant to get out of control the way it did and if we knew Lanayah and Cassius were in there we wouldn't have done it even as a prank. We weren't proud that we weren't properly sanctioned but we were happy we weren't in jail. You have to understand” I pleaded remorsefully. To speak of such events for the first time after so long was agonising on the soul.

“Ha-ha this just gets better and better. Due to your fucking heartless stupidity, my daughter's in the arms of a mad man and all you can say is you were just kids? You killed his family and then you sit with me in our home beating yourself up trying to find a reason why he won't leave us alone. Everything was a lie. Your whole life is a lie,” she protested dejectedly.

“See Jayden, when you try to be something you're not it comes back to haunt you. When you thought your elders were shaping you into this ideal gun clapper you would have never thought it would lead to this day,” he said, savouring the moment. He slid the gun on the floor to Vanessa. “This is the deal. You shoot him and you get your daughter back in one piece. You don't shoot him and I blow all your heads off and walk out of here like nothing happened. What's it going to be?” he added.

“You're not serious, Jamal. How do you expect me to shoot my husband to save my daughter? I love them both. I can honestly say I now understand why you've been doing what you've been doing, but it has to end now. We're grown adults, living different lives from before and that's what we need to be focusing on,” replied Vanessa, attempting to deflate the situation as best she could.

“My family was my life until he stole them away from me, so do it! I don't care how you feel. I don't care how long it takes because I really do have all day,” he said, taking a seat a crossing his legs. Still gripping Shakira's hand he watched joyfully as Vanessa and I tore each other apart. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I turned to Vanessa and saw her picking up the gun.

“Vanessa what are you doing? Jamal There's other ways to resolve this just please don't do this. Don't make her of all people do this to me,” I begged desperately. I was at the end of my tether, knowing my wife was actually contemplating shooting me. Flashbacks of my life whizzed through my head as I took deep breaths, gearing up for the outcome of the night. If I was going to die I wanted to die feeling calmer than I did at that moment.

“So now you want to plead with me but at first you acted as if you had no idea what I was talking about. Not to mention getting Holly locked up. I knew tampering with you car was a bit sloppy but it was her idea so she dealt with the consequence. Now you've flourished into somewhat of a “superstar” you think you can influence decisions with your words of wisdom, when really you're no better than me. Trying to live a life that isn't meant for you but has to be done for you,” he expressed profoundly.

I hated to admit it but he was right. I was a murderer; so was he. I had done everything I did to avoid looking weak and feeble; so did he. The hellish image from the blood-stained wall re-appeared in my head with one difference: the question mark now represented me. All the time I blamed Jamal when I was exactly like him and, to make it worse, I had made him like this in the first place. Every revelation weighed me down further as a long pause took over. I think everyone was trying to gather themselves and take in everything that was going on.

Then Vanessa turned to me and raised the gun. “Jayden, I'm doing this for Shakira. She's got her whole life ahead of her and I don't want this to mess that up. You had us sucked into your twisted lies and deceit, knowing all along you were the only one to blame. I'm sorry,” she said, her face drenched with tears.

Before I could say anything a bang roared through my ears and my leg gave way. I hit the floor with a thud and a yell that could be heard by the devil. I examined my body to see where the agony was pouring from to find that she had shot me in my knee. I looked up at her with anger mixed with gratefulness. She could have killed me there and then but didn't despite all she'd been through tonight. She dropped the gun and fell to the ground in tears. No man could understand the pain I felt seeing her in that state and it was my entire fault. How was she ever going to forgive me?

“Are you fucking happy now? I shot him! Now give me my little girl,” she cried ferociously. Her veins powerfully pressed against her skin as her fury fermented. I silently looked at Jamal and saw a flicker of remorse in his eyes. Regardless of his character he was still human; still felt emotion. He let Shakira go and she ran into Vanessa's arms.

“If you want something done properly you have to do it yourself,” he said, walking over to the gun.

“You have what you want now! You hurt me and my family. You raped my best friend who then committed suicide and you've gotten everything off your chest that you've wanted to say since the beginning. Let's move on, Jamal. Let's let it go” I said, clutching at my leg.

“No I don't have what I want! I don't have my family back do I Jayden? You of all people should know my brother and sister were all I had. I don't have my fucking dignity back. Well publicly I do and always will but inside, inside there's nothing there anymore but a frosty heart. You and Maurice scratched away at until it was all gone. This is why I'm doing the damn deed tonight!” He stood over me and pointed the gun at my head. I felt alone, my thoughts moving in slow motion. Death was only a heartbeat away. It was hard to take in that this was actually the end for me. I closed my eyes tightly and seconds later the bang went off. I kept my eyes tightly closed until I realised I was still here. I was still alive. I slowly opened my eyes to see Jamal lying on the floor in front of me. Vanessa was standing with my gun from the house pointed down at him, with Shakira hiding behind her legs. Her face was soaked with tears as she lowered her hands and ran over to kneel by my side.

“I'm so sorry Jayden. I took the gun just in case but I never thought I would have to use it. It's over now baby. It's finally over,” she said breathlessly. I hugged her and Shakira like I would never see them again. I was so close to never seeing them again. I couldn't come to grips with what had happened. I was feeling so many mixed emotions circulating through my body at that point in time. My wife shot me to save our daughter then shot Jamal to save me. It was so unpredictable yet worked out to our benefit perfectly. Maybe not perfectly because I still had some serious explaining to do in order to save my marriage and I a bullet in my leg, but all the same I was feeling more than blessed. She helped me up slowly and held Shakira's hand.

“No more lies, no more secrets. I hope you learned from tonight that everyone on the roads are reaching for the same thing; the respect and the name. When you did what you did to Jamal to avoid being taken advantage of and seen as weak, he done exactly the same to you so he could hide his own weakness. Karma will always come back around,” Vanessa explained with wise words.