Taming Beauty (16 page)

“Another lesson learned by trial and error as a good lesson ought to be learned?” he taunted.

“It was actually.” Lilith advanced on him until she was so close he had no choice but to inhale her exotic scent, no choice but to see the emotion flaring in her eyes and the moisture beading along her temples.

“Was last night’s risk worth the ruin of your life?” Jasper growled. “Make no mistake, you will marry me and share in the ruin you’ve wrought.”

“I ought to have known you would prove stubborn to the bitter end,” she whispered for his ears alone. “Have you not yet realized my life was ruined long ago? Not by the single night I spent in Cheltenham’s bed, as His Grace was not up to the task at hand. Would you care to guess who had the honor of relieving me of my negligible virtue, and at a bargain, all things considered?”

Jasper didn’t need to guess, the truth was glaringly, painfully obvious.

Lilith’s smile was soft and deceptively sweet, her voice merely a breath of sound when she delivered the death knell to his hopes and dreams. “Lord Morrissey was my choice, mine alone, made with a clear understanding of the consequences and not a single regret. Not then and certainly not now.”

“You warned me.” Jasper was undone by her admission, by her nearness, by his body’s instantaneous reaction and his heart’s stubborn refusal to grasp the irrefutable proof of her treachery. “Spelled it out, word by word, step by step. Entice me, entrap me, string me along and, for an encore, pauper me. And still I was so bloody blinded by your beauty I did not see the ugly truth.”

“Beauty is as beauty does.” Lilith lifted one long finger to trace the scar on his cheek, the mark of the curse he’d lived with for twelve years. “Do you surrender?”

It was not in Lilith Aberdeen’s nature to dither over a fork in the road or to travel down a path not of her choosing.

So it came as something of a surprise when she found herself standing at a crossroads in a desolate stretch of Dartmoor as the sun set on the worst day of her life.

She remembered precious little of the journey beyond the single glance back she’d allowed herself as the carriage turned off the long, dusty drive. That one quick glimpse had been little more than a blur of color and movement, but it was etched in her mind. Meg and Charlie and Henry scampering through the tall grass and wildflowers, waving frantically. Amelia, Susan and Matthew standing on the lawn with Breckenridge House rising behind them, gray stone shining in the glare of the sun. And beyond, the landscape spreading out in a patchwork of plowed fields, meadows and open moorland.

Of Jasper there’d been no sign. No words of farewell. Not even a parting shot fired from the battlements.

Lilith had a vague memory of their caravan stopping to change horses some three or four hours past, of whispered conversation outside the conveyance and Alabaster pushing a meat pasty into her hands with orders to eat every last bite.

Now the three bites she’d managed felt like so many jagged stones in her belly, tumbling around and threatening to come back up again.

“Won’t you travel with us to Price of Folly?” Kate followed along while Lilith paced back and forth between the two roads, neither of which she wanted to travel. “Robbie will be pleased to finally meet you and more than happy to have you to stay for a few days.”

“Mr. Price is a charming old flirt,” Harry said as she came up alongside Lilith. “You’ll adore him. And what’s more, he’ll adore you.”

“Don’t tell your grandmother,” Kate said. “But I think Robbie fell head over heels in love with her when we stopped off on the way to Cornwall.” 

“Shh, no talk of Cornwall,” Sissy chided, falling into step on Lilith’s other side and giving her a strained smile. “We’ll take a page from Harry’s book and pretend that place and that man do not exist.”

“If you pretend long enough, eventually you will come to believe it,” Harry said with some authority.

“Say you’ll come with us,” Kate implored. “We’ll have all sorts of fun and you’ll be feeling right as rain in no time.”

“We’ll get you good and tipsy on hot toddies,” Harry added in a whisper.

“Oh, I know,” Sissy chirped. “I’ll brush out your hair and braid it for you. Annalise does that for me when my menses are upon me. It’s wonderfully soothing.”

“We’ll stay up late talking every night,” Kate said. “And laze about all morning in our nightgowns.”

“Yes, and we’ll take tea together on the lawn,” Sissy said, a desperate edge to her voice. “And share all our secrets.”

Only Lilith hadn’t any secrets left to share, not after this morning. She’d bared them all to save a wounded beast from his own foolish notions of honor.

And willfully and intentionally broken her heart in the process.

“Come along with us, Lil,” Harry murmured, taking hold of her hand.

Lilith tugged her fingers free as their meandering brought them back to the fork in the road. She studied the diverging paths, finding nothing extraordinary about either of them other than the fact they pointed in the wrong direction.

One led to the village of Bartlesborough and the estate Captain Robert Price had purchased in order to provide his granddaughter with a home.

The other led to London and the crumbling old house Dunaway had wagered time and again, only to finally lose it in the biggest gamble of all.

Neither road was the path to happily-ever-after.

“Please come with us,” Kate said from behind Lilith.

“Say you will,” Sissy begged from her right.

To her left, Harry gave an impatient huff. “You shouldn’t be alone just now.”

Alabaster planted herself in front of Lilith, neatly boxing her into a corner, persistent females pestering her from all sides. Thrusting her hands on her hips, the still beautiful woman frowned at her granddaughter. “You’ll come to Price of Folly and let us coddle you, Lilith Eve Marie Aberdeen. And that’s the end of it.”

“Coddle?” Lilith repeated in confusion. “I’m hardly in need of coddling.”

“I don’t know as I’ve ever seen a woman more in need of coddling,” her grandmother argued.

A chorus of agreement met Alabaster’s ludicrous statement and Lilith spun in a slow circle, taking in the visages of Dunaway’s daughters, surprised to find them looking back at her with obvious worry.

Thinking she must be quite a sight, disheveled and likely perspiring, to cause such naked concern, Lilith lifted a hand to sweep a stray lock of hair from her brow. Her fingers shook and a queer warmth gathered behind her eyes.

Damn and blast, she was on the verge of tears for the second time in one day.

Perhaps even on the edge of hysteria.

It was simply not to be born.

Pushing through the gaggle of girls surrounding her, Lilith marched in the opposite direction, her boots kicking up dust with each step she took. She walked away from her grandmother, away from Dunaway’s foolish, compassionate daughters, away from the two roads leading nowhere she wanted to go.

If only she could walk away from the heartache as well.

Instead, the heartache was joined by a rage so merciless and primitive, she could feel the heat of it licking at her limbs until she shook with it. Her blood was a river of fire in her veins, her lungs bellows feeding the flames, each breath a raw, searing blast of air scorching her throat.

Lilith wanted someone to blame for the fury consuming her, someone to hold accountable, someone to castigate, to pummel with words and fists.

She had only herself.

To blame and punish.

Only herself to rely upon to soothe her anger, to nurse her sorrow, to see to her happiness.

Always and forever, she had only herself.

Stopping beneath a gnarled old tree, Lilith stared down the long, empty road to Cornwall. By slow degrees, she wrestled her seething emotions under control, gulping the blessedly cool evening air until the burning in her lungs subsided and her racing heart slowed to a steady gallop. Finally, her palsied limbs settled to a mere tremble.

After long minutes of solitude, with only the whisper of the wind over the moors to interrupt the silence, Lilith felt calm enough to sort through the choices before her. In was then she realized she hadn’t any choices left. They’d gone the same way as her secrets. Spewed across the terrace of Breckenridge House.

“You ought to travel on with your sisters.”

Lilith kept her gaze on the road for fear she would see some show of concern on Dunaway’s handsome face. Or worse yet, pity. “I’ll continue to Town with you.”

“Somehow I thought you’d say so.”

“As you know me so well.”

“It would seem I don’t know you at all,” Dunaway said after a slight pause. “I’m beginning to wonder if I know any of my daughters. You’ve all proven contrary of late. But for Harry who is as predictable in her loathing as she is in her discernment of humanity’s many foibles.” 

“She accused me of pouting,” Lilith replied on a fractured laugh, swiping one hand over her eyes, her fingertips coming away wet. “I thought she was referring to Sissy, seeing as the girl clearly enjoys a good sulk now and again.”

“Come, if we’re for London we’d do well to make Taunton tonight.” Dunaway clasped Lilith’s hand and gently turned her back toward the crossroads where three of his daughters and an infamous courtesan waited. “What were you pouting about?”

“My father’s inability to keep his trousers buttoned,” Lilith answered with a wobbly smile.

“I am sorry, kitten.” Dunaway squeezed her fingers when she attempted to pull away. “Not so much for my inability to keep my trousers buttoned but for bringing you along on this misbegotten journey.”

“I’m not certain I see how it was misbegotten for you,” Lilith retorted. “After all, you got precisely what you wanted.”

“I never wanted to see you hurt,” the earl protested with what sounded like sincerity. “In truth, I thought you more like me.”

“Immune to heartbreak?”

“I hope I am not immune to heartbreak, for how does one recognize true happiness without first knowing utter despair?”

“Have you known utter despair?” Lilith could not imagine the brash, carefree earl ever feeling half so miserable as she did now.

“I became intimately acquainted with the emotion when your mother tossed me out with nary a chance to explain.”

“How did you intend to explain getting a child on Gwendolyn’s own cousin?” Lilith asked in genuine, if begrudging, curiosity. “Immaculate conception?”

“Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that,” Dunaway replied as if the idea actually held merit. “Do you think she would have believed it?”

“As much as it pains me to say it, you might have been able to talk her around to believing such rubbish,” Lilith replied in amused exasperation. “Had it been anyone but Arabella you’d gotten with child, that is.”

“I thought Monty would call me out when he learned of the affair.”

“If I’d been in your shoes, I’d have worried about Auntie Bathsheba and Alabaster. Or even Eve Marie.”

“Fearsome creatures, every one of your female relations,” Dunaway replied as they approached the quartet of beauties waiting at the juncture of what was no more than two paths leading to the same eventuality. “Is it any wonder you come by it naturally?”

“I don’t feel fearsome just now,” Lilith whispered, more than a little unsettled by the admission.

Dunaway pulled Lilith to a stop in the middle of the road. Gently lifting her chin, he forced her to look up into eyes as solemn as those she’d seen in the mirror this morning. “Listen to me, Lil. I’ve committed a great many sins in my life. In fact, some might say my entire life has been one long chain of sins, beginning with marrying a woman for purely monetary reasons rather than for love or even affection or respect. I suppose I ought to regret those sins, perhaps even find a way to atone. But the truth is I regret none of it. How can I? When for those sins I was blessed with six daughters whom I love to distraction. Soon to be seven if my luck holds.”

“Oh, Dun,” Lilith murmured, surprised and a bit befuddled by the man’s sentimental drivel. “You truly are ridiculous.”

“So you are forever telling me,” the earl replied with a smile that did not reach his somber eyes. “Still, I am not so ridiculous I cannot comprehend the sacrifice you made for me. And for your sister. But mostly for Malleville, though I don’t imagine he will ever know of it.”

“You mustn’t tell him, Dun,” Lilith ordered in a bit of a panic. “Promise me you’ll say nothing to anyone or it will all have been for naught.”

“I wouldn’t dream of depriving you of such a wondrously valiant deed,” Dunaway assured her. “In fact, I am quite awed by the sheer bravery and benevolence you displayed. Though, I cannot imagine how you came by such traits. Certainly you didn’t inherit them from either of your parents.”

Lilith made no reply, and apparently none was required. Dunaway released her chin and returned to her side. Hand in hand they joined the ladies clustered together beside Alabaster’s carriage like a flock of colorfully plumed worry hens.

“Lilith, are you for London, then?” Alabaster asked, though clearly she knew the answer if her frown was any indication.

“I’ve much to do,” Lilith replied, dutifully planting a kiss on her grandmother’s offered cheek. “I’ll see you when you return to Town.”

“What will you do in London all by yourself?” Sissy asked, leaning in as if she expected Lilith to buss her cheek as well.

“The same as I’ve always done.” Drat it all, there was nothing Lilith could do but give in.

She kissed the young girl’s cheek, and before she quite knew how it came about, she was enveloped by three pairs of arms.

Dunaway grinned unabashedly, clearly delighted by the sight of his daughters entangled in an embrace, never mind Lilith’s squirming about in a futile bid for freedom.

Surrendering to the inevitable, Lilith stilled and allowed the girls to hug and pet her, even wrapped her arms around the lot of them, clumsily patting backs and shoulders. When they finally broke apart and Lilith stepped back, she realized she would miss them.

Odd that, seeing as she’d lived most of her life on the periphery of theirs, rarely venturing near enough to feel any sort of true attachment.

Oh, she supposed she felt a bit of affection for Kate. But who wouldn’t? What with her sly wit and unabashedly sunny disposition.

And for all Harry hid her soft heart and brilliant mind behind a façade of brittle humor and contemptuous mockery, Lilith felt a fond sort of connection to the girl.

Sissy was another story entirely.

Lilith certainly would not miss the earl’s petulant, spoiled daughter.

* * * *

Oddly enough, it was Sissy Lilith missed most of all during the long, interminable journey back to London. She missed the silly girl’s ceaseless chatter, grating giggling, naïve proclamations and pouting protestations. All of which Lilith now recognized as the opening refrain of a well-orchestrated scheme to play upon her sympathy.