Taming the Duke (33 page)

Alicia felt a sting of hurt. “I’m not noble. But I believe that we should try to understand before we judge. With understanding comes forgiveness. And forgiveness can be the beginning of healing.” She turned to look at her sister-in-law. “Not every woman is as lucky as you, Olivia. You’ve married the man you love, and Robert is devoted to you.” The words caught in her throat as she thought of her own marriage.

“Alicia, I know my brother loves you.” Her blue eyes darkened. “He’s behaving like such a fool.”

A fool in love
. “We can’t have a birthday celebration with Dalton away. Besides, he’s never told me he loved me.” She glanced at Olivia. “I’ll help you draft your letter. Then it’s time I left for Marston Heath.”

Olivia frowned. “Maybe Dalton thought of your marriage as an arrangement at first, but I know he loves you now.”

Alicia paused in front of the hidden bench in the rose garden and took a seat. “Our marriage wouldn’t have lasted. In time, he’ll tire of me. I imagine he’s in London, this very minute. He’s probably renewed the acquaintances of…” Her throat constricted with regret.

“Why don’t you go to him and explain what happened between you and Justin?”

“I don’t know where he is. Besides, he may not see me.”

Olivia’s gaze was sympathetic. “What if I went
to my brother and explain what happened? I’m sure Robert can find out at which club Dalton is staying.”

A swell of gratitude rolled through her. “Thank you, dear Olivia. That’s very kind of you, but…” She hesitated searching for the right words to explain how she felt. “But if Dalton can’t find it in his heart to understand that I’d never be unfaithful to him, then—”

“Dalton is so proud. You’ll have to go to him, Alicia.”

Alicia took a deep breath. “I have my pride, too.” She patted Olivia’s hand. How she would miss this good friend. “It’s time I leave Havencrest. I’ve given instructions to Penn for Bashshar’s further training. If I pack now, I can leave tomorrow.”

“What can I do to convince you to stay?” Olivia pleaded.

Alicia shook her head. “Nothing. But come and visit me, and bring Rufus.”

The wolfhound barked when he heard his name. Alicia patted the dog’s wet coat, tears welling in her eyes. She turned and hurried along the stone path just before the rain began to fall.

Chapter Twenty

R
obert glanced up from the copy of the
Times
and scowled at his brother-in-law, who had just entered the breakfast room. Rufus whined, then sprang from under the table to greet his master.

“Egad, Dalton! You look as though you haven’t shaved for a week.” His scowl deepened. “I don’t know what Olivia will say when she sees you.”

“I don’t need a lecture, Robert.” Dalton strode toward the breakfast table, averting his glance from the steaming platters of poached eggs, sweetmeats and sausages. He took the seat at the head of the table. He gave Rufus an affectionate pat, then his hand dropped when he saw the floral arrangement on the table. “Remove these vases at once,” he barked to the maid. “And I don’t want to see any more flowers in this house!” The young girl hurried to remove the arrangement, then scurried from the room.

“You’re in a foul mood. Your bark is louder than Rufus’s. Did you just arrive from London?” Robert asked disapprovingly.

Dalton’s only answer was another dark scowl. He frowned at the groom who hurried to fill a plate for him. “Only black coffee,” he muttered. The lad’s hand shook as he poured a cup and placed the steaming brew in front of the duke.

“Olivia and I worry about what’s happening to you, Dalton.” Robert folded the newspaper and laid it aside. “It’s been almost a week since Alicia left, and—”

“I don’t wish to hear
her
name.”

“Drat it, Dalton. Your sister and I care about you. I can’t believe you would hang about London and—”

“For your information, Robert, I wasn’t in London.” How he wished he could return to his old life, and be free of Alicia’s memory. God, how he tried. He went as far as to approach the lane outside Lady Celia Fresham’s town house. He’d sat in the coach for the longest time. What was he doing? he’d finally asked himself. It was then that he knew he’d never find what he was looking for outside Alicia’s embrace.

Dalton glanced at Robert. “I’ve been holed up right here at Havencrest. I’ve been staying at the old hunting lodge, working with Jupiter. I’m determined to see that horse win the Newmarket Classic in three weeks.”

“Upon my soul!” Robert glared at him as though he had three heads. “Why not leave that up to the grooms?”

Dalton gave him a dark look. “No reason, except
that I believe in following through with what I start.”

“So, you’ve been under our noses while your sister has worried herself sick about you.” Robert picked up the silver honey tray and spooned a thick golden daub on his toast.

“I prefer to keep away from people.” He shot Robert a sharp glance. “And since I can see the question on your face, yes, I’ve been faithful to my marriage vows, even though my wife hasn’t.”

“Damn it, Dalton!” Robert threw down his napkin. “You know there was nothing between Alicia and Justin.”

Dalton stood, almost knocking back his chair. “I warned you, Robert. I don’t want her name mentioned.”

“I think someone should speak up for her.” Olivia strode into the room, her heels clicking on the tiles. She held a letter in her hand as she stood beside Dalton, her face reflecting her obvious displeasure with him.

“Sister, I’m in no mood…” He paused, taking a deep breath as she glared at him. “You and Robert are my guests. Although you’ll always be welcome at Havencrest, I will remind you that you’re here at my generosity.”

Olivia huffed. “Don’t you dare bully me, Brother.”

Dalton’s mouth quirked. “As if I could.”

She placed the letter on the table. “I came to tell you that I’ve received this note from Mother.” She took a seat, then glanced at her brother. “She’s accepted Alicia’s invitation and she’s arriving this
weekend for your birthday.” She unfolded her napkin and placed the linen on her lap. “Although you’re another year older, you’re certainly none the wiser.”

Dalton gritted his teeth. “I’ll be returning to the hunting lodge.”

“Hunting lodge?” She looked from Dalton to Robert.

Robert shrugged. “I’ll explain later, my dear.”

Dalton was halfway across the room. “I don’t wish to see Mother, or anyone.” He was at the door when Olivia stopped him.

“Dalton, you may leave when I finish.” Olivia glanced at her brother leaning impatiently against the doorjamb.

“It’s taken me a while to sort out how I feel about Mother, and I’m still not certain if I ever will understand. But with Alicia’s help, I wrote and told Mother that I love her.” Olivia turned to Robert, her hand on her husband’s arm. “And once I did, I felt that some day I might be able to forgive her.” Her lip trembled slightly. “Alicia said that we must have faith in those we love. Blind faith, Dalton.” She glanced back at her brother, and the sadness in his eyes touched her heart.

“In the short time that I’ve known your wife, she’s taught me so much about love and forgiveness. She’s shown you, too, if you weren’t too proud to see it.”

Dalton tore from the breakfast room, Rufus running playfully at his master’s side until they were out of sight.

Olivia clasped her husband’s hand. “Oh, Robert.”

“Dalton may never be ready to take that blind leap of faith, my dear.” He squeezed her hand. “I know it pains you, but there’s little any of us can do to help him.”

Tears welled in her eyes as Olivia looked at the empty chair at the head of the table. “I’m afraid Alicia is the only one who can heal Dalton. And she’s as stubborn as my brother.”

Dalton tossed another log in the grate. Red sparks flew into the angry draft up the chimney. Despite the cheery fire, he felt chilled to the bone. Walking to the window, he glanced up. The sky was leaden, the day looked as bitter and desolate as he felt. Rufus whined, watching him. It was as if the wolfhound were pining for her, too.

He glanced at the tapestry again. Potnia, surrounded by her woodland animals. The sight tore at his heart. The goddess reminded him so much of Alicia. The silken chestnut hair, the dew-fresh innocence…

Rufus lifted his head and growled. He heard the horse’s hooves, too.
Who the hell was bothering him now?

He twitched back the drape, but he couldn’t see anyone.

“Keep back, Rufus!” He ambled to the door and gruffly pulled it open.

“Mother!”

The dowager, dressed in a wool cape covering her riding habit, glowered back at him. “You look
like you’ve just seen Saint Peter.” She trudged inside, without waiting for him to invite her. “Don’t look so surprised, Dalton. I’m not so ancient that I can’t ride a horse, you know.”

He glanced out the door, expecting to see a carriage, a coach or drivers. Instead, Cinnamon Rose stood waiting at the gate. He glanced back at his mother, who was pouring herself a brandy. She grinned at his surprised amazement. “I’ve come to wish you a happy birthday, Son.”

“My birthday! I’d completely forgotten.”

His mother raised a brow. “Alicia had invited me, personally.” Her eyes measured him with an astute, questioning gaze.

He then remembered that Alicia had invited the dowager for the celebration. She’d been so happy. A raw sense of grief almost threatened his control.

“I’m not celebrating this year.” He could feel her gaze on him as she took a seat in front of the fire. He refilled his brandy snifter. “I imagine you’ve already spoken to Olivia.” Robert or his sister must have told her where he was staying. He straddled the chair opposite where she sat. “Olivia told me that she had written you.” He reached out and squeezed the bony hand. “I’m truly glad.”

The dowager lifted the brandy crystal in salute, the firelight casting blue prisms of light from the hand-cut snifter. “To you, Dalton. Birthdays are too precious not to celebrate.”

He knew, in a way, that his brother, Drake, was in her thoughts, too. “Thank you,” he said gently. No doubt this day held many memories for her, as
well. “Finish your brandy, and I’ll ride back with you to the manor.”

“Not before I’ve said what you need to hear, Dalton.” The familiar authority was back in her voice. “Of all my children, I never had to worry about you, Dalton. Even as a baby, you always knew what you wanted, where you wanted to go, and how to charm your nurses and nannies into more than what was good for you.” She sat up straight, her blue eyes leveled evenly with his. “This foolishness has gone on long enough.”

Dalton drained his glass. “Mother, I know you mean well—”

“Go to her, Dalton.” His mother’s voice was strong but gentle. “You know you want to. Swallow your pride, Son, before it’s too late.” She shook her head, her voice tight. “Life is so short. So very short.”

“I don’t want to hear this, Mother.” His voice was firm.

“You’ve never wanted to hear, even as a tad, when you were wrong.”

He sighed.

“Alicia has shown you, shown us all, her love through her gentleness and her ability to forgive. Oh, Dalton, don’t be stubborn. You know very well that child she carries is yours. Any fool can see that Alicia loves you. And if you weren’t so damn much like me, you’d see it, too.”

Dainty lilac flowers of vervain trembled in the breeze as Alicia filled her herb basket with the lacy
blossoms. Since medieval times, maidens stuffed the delicate flowers under their pillows as a love potion. She fought back the deep sadness that had become her constant companion since leaving Havencrest. Although she knew someday she’d face her future alone, she wasn’t prepared for its grim reality. But can one ever prepare for the loss of love?

Her hand trembled as she picked up the basket and moved along the flagged walk. The smell of mint surrounded her as her slippers crushed the tiny leaves of pennyroyal growing along the cracks. Before she married, she’d reconciled herself to her single life. She’d been resigned to healing animals and improving her racing stock. But after falling in love with Dalton, she could never go back to who she was before loving him. Tears stung the backs of her eyes.

It was no use. She couldn’t keep her mind on herb gathering. She sat down upon the garden bench and looked up at the mercurial sky. Far to the west, rain clouds gathered, but overhead the sun shone. She looked for a rainbow, then stopped herself. She should run for the house before the rain started, instead of waiting for rainbows. Yet she was reluctant to leave her garden—the one place she had always found serenity. Until now. Perhaps in time…

A pair of golden butterflies flittered among the yellow lilies. Inhaling the sweet fragrance, she was reminded of the lily gardens at Havencrest, and for another fleeting moment, wondered where
Dalton was and what he was doing before she stopped herself.

A hard lump formed in her throat. Without even trying, she could hear his rich laughter and smell the sandalwood infused in his clothing. She was bedeviled by another flood of memories.

Suddenly, she heard a soft nicker, then a velvet nose nuzzled her ear. Startled, Alicia jumped and turned to catch Cinnamon Rose’s wet kiss across her face.

“Cinnamon Rose!” The basket of herbs dropped from her lap, as Alicia almost fell off the bench. She glanced around for an explanation. Had one of the servants brought the mare from Havencrest? No one was in sight.

She rubbed the mare’s satiny chestnut nose. The animal tossed her head, the black mane ruffling in the breeze. Alicia stood, looking toward the manor house grounds from where the animal must have come.

Alicia grabbed the mare’s bridle and strolled from the garden. At the curve of the drive stood the ducal carriage with six white Lusitano horses. Her heart constricted with yearning. She rubbed her eyes, wondering if she might be dreaming.

“I was hoping I would find you in the garden.”

Alicia froze. Her heart hammered. She was afraid to move. She forced herself to face him.

Dalton leaned against the trunk of the willow, his blue eyes heated with unspoken desire.