Tangled Passion (24 page)

Nathan got up and hugged Jonah. Ashana joined in on the hug, with tears flowing down her eyes and soon Edwards, Longstands, and Barrister Lambert also joined in.

“Thank you Jonah,” Nathan said, still hugging Jonah long after the others had broken off. “Thanks for saving my life.” Jonah nodded, even though he didn’t understand the words, he somehow knew that Nathan was thanking him for saving his life, Jonah was happy he did. At the time, it had crossed his mind to let Nathan die; after all Nathan was his arch rival and his death would have enhanced Jonah’s chances but his heart wouldn’t let him leave Nathan to bleed to death.

“Ashana, you too are now a free woman,” Longstands declared, bringing Jonah’s thought to a halt. Ashana was already sobbing happily for Jonah but now she cried out loud, her body shaking frenziedly from her sobs. Nathan was the first to hug her, Jonah followed, and the others joined in once again. “You and your mother are free to stay here on this Fort or to go wherever you please; this document declares your freedom and gives you freedom of passage to anywhere you want,” Longstands explained, then waited for her sobbing to abate.

“You are surely a brave and strong woman Ashana,” Barrister Lambert said as he handed Ashana the release papers. “You are very brave to take on Bushwacker on your own, to take on a man who attempted to take Nathan’s life, a man feared by everyone on this island; you single-handedly destroyed him” Barrister Lambert marvelled, with tears in his eyes.

“Now tell me how can I not set you free—you have earned your freedom and I cannot deny you it,” Longstands said, a hint of emotion in his tone. “You are free and so is your mother, I am sure she’d be very proud of you,” he concluded then took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. After his lungs were emptied he inhaled briefly and heaved a sigh of relief then went silent; the room followed and descended into another period of dead silence.

“Nathan,” Longstands began very carefully. He knew his son was waiting for his turn, he’d rewarded Jonah and Ashana bountifully but what was there for Nathan? What could he reward the young man with and for—the only thing the young man wanted was to marry Ashana. He wondered what Nathan was thinking or expecting; did Nathan expect him to be partial and influence Ashana into being with him? How would the young man react if he decided to be impartial—the boy was highly unpredictable. “Nathan you don’t have to tell me how much you love this young woman and love I know is a very powerful fuel which has powered most of your actions since you arrived here…”

“Father please do not patronize me, get to the point, I am not a child. I understand your position, but you do need to make your point today.”

“Very well then, I shall, seeing that patience has deserted you completely. Nathan, I truly would love to see you happy; you are my son and I know that having Ashana would make you happy. I also know that you are aware of the fact that I can influence things to make her be with you but I beg for you to let her make a choice. Let her decide on her own to be with you. Love is a waste if it is unidirectional love.”

“Father,” Nathan began, rising to his feet. “You have spoken well and I am proud of you for your judgment. A hug?”

“Of course, my son, a hug is in order.” Edwards and the rest watched with smiles on their faces as father and son embraced, everyone knew that the two had been at war for a long time and seeing them hug was a beautiful sight.

“In conclusion,” Longstands began after Nathan had returned to his seat. “I am transferring the weight to you, Ashana. I cannot carry it anymore. These two men are in love with you—madly. But in your heart of hearts you know which one of them you love and just in case you are confused, I am giving you seven days to make up your mind.”

“At the end of seven days you must choose which of them you want to be with,” Longstands added. Then turning towards Jonah and Nathan, he continued. “In the coming seven days, neither one of you shall consult nor communicate with Ashana,” Longstands instructed and then dismissed them all, except Barrister Lambert.

The news about Ashana’s task to choose between the Massa’s son and Jonah had spread through the entire Fort and divided it into many factions. There were those who wanted Ashana to choose Nathan; they had their reasons and argument prepared and presented their case whenever they had Ashana’s attention. Those who wanted Ashana to stay with Jonah also had their reasons and presented them in secret to Ashana whenever they had the chance.

But Ashana’s mother wanted Ashana to go with the Massa’s son and was bent on convincing her daughter and this morning she was presenting her case for the very first time since Ashana returned. “It is not because I don’t like Jonah. I do, in fact like my own son and it is not because I don’t understand how you feel for him, I do. It is only because I do care for you more than anything else and…”

“And because you care for yourself too,” Ashana interrupted without looking at her mother. Ashana was confused enough without her mother saying anything; whenever Marecia opened her mouth it was as though a whirlwind of confusion bulldozed its way through Ashana’s head dismantling and eroding all the reasons that she had already put together and sapping her of all the energy she had. “Isn’t it so, Mother?” she asked, her voice a little higher as she attempted to quiet the voices in her head.

“Hmm!” Marecia began, bowing her head slowly, she knew it was going to be a tough sell and wasn’t surprised at Ashana’s question. The little girl who used to giggle endlessly as she threw her up in the air over and over again was no longer a child; she’d grown up. And in addition to that, her once-little girl had also taken a trip to hell, survived a battle with the devil, and returned with only a few scratches—maybe she now deserved some respect and honesty, Marecia thought. But she also feared that being completely honest with her daughter would only make things worse. If she told Ashana that she was tired of the hard life and longed for the comfort and pleasure that being a mother-in-law to Nathan would afford her, the young woman would never understand; she was too struck by love to understand it and too intoxicated to see reason.

“Ashana, your happiness is foremost on my mind…” she was saying but Ashana interrupted.

“I will be happy with Jonah, Ma.”

“Yes, now you will but what about tomorrow and the day after, what about in a year and the years that follow, will you? Will you be happy and enjoying the things that life has to offer…”

“Jonah is free, he is a free man and I am too. Why won’t we be happy now, tomorrow, and forever, why Ma?” Ashana said with subdued excitement.

“Can he protect you, can he care for you…”

“I didn’t know you hated him so much Ma,” Ashana snapped. She was disgusted with her mother’s shift. “Just the other day you thought he was a great young man but since the arrival of the Massa’s son, your opinion of him has grown wings…”

“Ashana, I do not hate him, I just care for you and the truth is that I don’t want you to suffer the same things that I went through...” Marecia argued–her daughter was putting up a fight that she’d never expected and was slowly pushing her into a corner. “Have you ever thought of the life you would have with the Massa’s son? Have you ever…”

“No I haven’t and that is because I don’t love him and so there is no life to be seen or thought about. I don’t have the kind of feeling that I have for Jonah for him; it’s not the same,” Ashana cried. She only wished her mother would stop making her feel guilty, stop making things difficult, and just accept and respect her decision. At the end of the day, she wanted her mother to be happy, she wanted to please her, and would do anything for her—she was even prepared to marry Nathan just to make her mother happy but first she wanted to try to convince her mother that the person she truly loved was Jonah and she just wanted her mother to listen to her first.

“Never mind Ashana, you will grow to love the Massa’s son, just as much as you now love Jonah. Can’t you see that he loves you Ashana? Tell me where it ever happens? Tell me where a Massa’s son begs a slave girl to love him, to be his wife when he can simply order you to be brought to him—Ashana, the man loves you truly and it is better when a man loves you more than you love him,” Marecia argued.

“Ma, please!”

“Ashana, look at me, I have suffered all my life, I have been there for you all these years, is it really wrong that at the close of my life, I enjoy a little bit of the good things of life flowing through you? Think not only of yourself, think about me as well,” Marecia concluded and rose to her feet.

“Ma!” Ashana called out but Marecia was already out of the room. “Ahh!” she screamed wildly. There was already too much dust in her head clouding her vision but her mother was more than a huge cloud of dust; she was a hurricane that Ashana didn’t know how to handle.

Maybe her mother was right, maybe it was a perfect opportunity to pay back the old woman for all the years she took care of her, all the years she’d suffered in the hands of slave Massas—the woman had never had a break from the life of hard work and abuse of slave Massas, Ashana thought.

Maybe she’d grow to love the Massa’s son as her mother said; after all he was a handsome man with a beautiful soul and there was no doubt that he loved her dearly—the evidence was written all over the Fort. Many women and girls of her age in the Fort thought that she was stupid and foolish not see the opportunities in front of her and all of them wished that they were in her shoes. As a matter of fact, many of the mothers in the Fort thought that Ashana was mean and selfish not to allow her mother to be the deciding factor in whom she chose—every mother deserved the privilege. Even some of the young girls agreed with the mothers that Ashana was self-centred, except for Milka.

“Follow your heart, my dear,” Milka said to Ashana. It was already the third day since Massa Longstands gave Ashana a deadline of seven days and Ashana was sitting by herself under a tree at the back of their hut. Of all the women in the Fort, only a handful stood behind Ashana and in that handful, only Milka made her position known by allowing herself to be publicly seen with Ashana. The others had also made their position known by completely ceasing any kind of association with Ashana, whether in public or private.

“When all is said and done, it is you who will live with the man of your choice, if he turns out to be a good man and you have a good life, you’d enjoy it. But if he turns out not to be the man you thought he was and life was bad; you’d be consoled by the fact that at least the choice was yours and that by itself will strengthen you to survive whatever situation you might be facing. But it would be doubled and made worse if you found yourself going through hell in a place where you didn’t want to be in the first place, a place you got into simply because you wanted to please somebody or some people—think about it and follow your heart.”

“But my mother, what will I do?” Ashana wept.

“I cannot tell you what to do with your mother; all I say is that you give the situation a careful consideration but at the end of the day let the choice be yours, uninfluenced by anyone.” Milka finished speaking and got to her feet and walked away. She had spent hours with Ashana and at first she hadn’t said a word, she simply sat next to Ashana with her hand over her shoulder.

Milka’s words returned to Ashana as she watched her mother walk away,
I wish I was as strong as you Milka,
Ashana thought. Milka was only a year older than Ashana but she was wise, reserved, and very observant and Ashana had always liked her but they’d never spoken until that day when Milka approached Ashana under the tree.

“Jonah,” PaNene began. The old man was completely out of words but he knew that he had to say something to his young friend. Ever since the Massa had given Ashana an ultimatum, Jonah had been worried sick; hunting down PaNene every chance he had and forcing the old man to spend hours with him.

Jonah was fully aware that the odds were against him; the only thing he possessed was a piece of paper that said he was now a free man but the paper was worthless and meaningless to him without Ashana—he’d willingly give it up and everything else for Ashana but now he feared whether she would do the same thing.

He was also fully aware of the tight spot into which Ashana had become suddenly squeezed. It was definitely tough to be in her shoes; the pressure on her was immense and the truth was that she stood to gain a lot more by being with the Massa’s son than with him. And many times it crossed his mind to give up the fight for Ashana’s sake and let her be with Nathan. Even PaNene was of the same opinion and had suggested it to him indirectly but his heart just wouldn’t let him—he simply couldn’t see a life without her.

“But I don’t know what to do without her and I am scared of whom she might choose in three days, I am really scared.” Jonah lamented. He was just as scared of losing Ashana as he was scared of the humiliation he would suffer if she chose Nathan over him in such public setting.

“Don’t think about it Jonah, worrying about it won’t change anything; it certainly won’t change her mind either. If she loves you she’ll choose you and if he chooses him then you must understand that it mightn’t be because she loves him more but for many other reasons including you…”

“Me? Why would she choose him over me for me?” Jonah queried, his head rising for the first time that evening and his eyes on the edge of popping out.

“The piece of paper you got from the Massa only says you are free from slavery but it is not an immunity from death—sudden and mysterious death. Imagine who would stand to benefit from your death…”

“Nathan would never do a thing like that!”

“The man has done a lot of things he wouldn’t ordinarily do, just to gain Ashana’s love and the only person standing in his way right now is you; think about it.”

A moment of silence lingered as Jonah pondered PaNene’s last statement, there were elements of truth in what the old man said and it made Jonah wonder if Nathan would have saved his life in the bush that day if he was the one who had needed help?