Tarnished (7 page)

Chapter Seven

T
he back of the box truck was even darker than the inside of the train car. Once the door slid shut, we were encased in darkness. There were two empty seats up front with the driver, but obviously we weren’t passengers. Even as free agents, we were still considered property, objects that needed to be transported from one place to another. We could have been boxes of napkins or crates full of shirts, something to be used up and discarded. It’s not like those objects would want to look out the window. It’s not like those objects might like to see the way the trees rush past or to feel the warmth of the afternoon sun.

Luckily, the hard bottom of the truck had been lined with a few folded blankets. Missy shuffled around next to me in the dark, repositioning herself. She sighed and I imagined the way she was lying on her back with her arms folded gently across her chest as if she was simply lounging on the grass in the sun.

The engine flared to life underneath us, and the truck jerked forward and bumped down the alleyway, swaying back and forth as it pulled out onto the street.

There were so many questions that I still wanted to ask Missy, but I knew better than to speak right now. She was angry. Angry that I’d been careless sneaking around the market. Angry that I’d burst the protective bubble she’d tried to place around me. Angry that she couldn’t dictate which parts of the world I chose to see.

And I was angry, too. I’d allowed Missy to take my power away, but I wasn’t going to stand for it anymore. I’d lost the gun, but I wouldn’t let something like that slip through my fingers again.

I tilted my head back and let my thoughts drift, instead, to Penn. It was easier to think about him, even if it was painful. I’d gotten used to pushing those thoughts away, but now all I wanted was to fall into them.

When I let myself think of him, the smell of earth and leaves and water rushed over me, as if the memory of him was the smell itself. Penn wasn’t just a boy anymore. He was the cool press of water against my arms as I sank down into the pond. He was the sound of the wind rustling the ivy that draped the tall stone walls, and the soft silver light of the moon. He was the taste of chocolate on my lips. He was sweetness. He was heat. He was rest. He was the feeling of lightness in my limbs as I floated on the surface of the water.

Just thinking of him made my heart quicken, all the blood inside me rushing to remember him. It could consume me if I let it. This desire. Sometimes it felt like it could swallow me whole.

But for now, I let myself slip into it. I could get lost for hours playing and replaying the moments we spent together. Sometimes it didn’t even matter if they were real. I could make up new moments that existed only inside my head. I’d move the two of us across the stage of my mind and sometimes we would be ourselves and other times we would morph, turning into Eurydice and Orpheus. It almost felt as if we’d fallen into the story. Truth and fiction blending together.

I’d blink and we’d be standing on the bridge, bits of light and water shattering around us and I would freeze.
Don’t turn around
, I’d tell myself. But I couldn’t stop. Just like Orpheus, I would turn. I would turn and reality would come speeding back at me, plowing me down. The officers. Penn. That look of loss cut across his face. If only I hadn’t turned. Then what? Would we still be together? Would we have made it out of the gates of hell?

I
opened my eyes.

Darkness.

“Ella.”

I blinked, but all the light was gone.

“Ella,” Missy repeated.

“What?” My voice came out rusty and tired.

For the first time since I opened my eyes, I noticed how still it was. The truck, which had been bumping beneath us for hours, had stopped. Outside, cars sped past. Horns blared, and in the distance, a siren wailed.

“Sit up,” Missy said, nudging me.

At some point during our drive Missy must have sat back up. Now I was slumped against her. I straightened, rubbing a hand over my face as the back door of the truck rumbled open. Light flooded the cab and Missy and I both raised our hands to our eyes.

“Are we here?”

“Yes.” There was a strange hesitance behind her voice.

“Come on, gals,” Tony said. “Let’s not keep Mr. Bernard waiting. I can’t afford to piss this guy off.”

Missy and I crawled stiffly out of the truck and glanced around. We’d pulled up onto the dock of a building that looked very much like the one that we’d just come from. The dock door to the building was open and we stepped from the back of the truck into a storage room stacked high with boxes.

A tall man in a dark gray suit came through a door at the back of the room. He was quite a bit bigger than Tony, all shoulders and chest like a lumberjack from one of Ruby’s stories, a massive beast standing on two legs. His eyes were deep set and so dark that from across the room, it almost looked like he had no eyes at all, only two dark holes. At his side was a younger man dressed in almost an identical suit, although the two men, themselves, looked nothing alike. The younger man was at least a head shorter. He didn’t have any of the other man’s bulk and even though he wasn’t fat, he looked…soft. His ashy blond hair curled along his thinning hairline.

“Tony,” the first man said, smiling as he stretched his hand out. “Thank you for driving out. Have you met my nephew, Seth?”

The two men shook hands, nodding.

“I believe we spoke on the phone,” Tony said. His voice sounded so much smaller than it had before. I couldn’t believe that he’d be nervous, but that’s exactly what it looked like.

“Seth tells me that you folks have been lucky over there in Buffalo. You haven’t been having the same problems we’ve been having.”

“No, we’ve been lucky,” Tony said.

“One of my best dealers flat out quit yesterday,” Mr. Bernard said. “I’m not sure we can deal with many more of these…shall we say…unwanted packages.”

Without making any sudden movements, Missy slid her hand next to mine and squeezed the soft flesh on the inside of my wrist. She didn’t need to tell me. I knew what he was talking about.
Unwanted packages
. The words were terrible, so heartless, like he couldn’t even be bothered to refer to them as girls. The weakness in my knees didn’t surprise me anymore. The world just kept dropping out from underneath my feet. How could a girl survive like this, knowing that any second it could fall away? Gone.

“And what do we have here?” Mr. Bernard asked, eyeing us as if he’d just noticed us standing there.

His eyes narrowed on my face. In an instant, the blood felt like it drained from my head. Maybe I looked like one of the dead girls myself.

“I hope it’s okay to drop these two off with you,” Tony said. “They’re strictly working as free agents with a 20/80 split. I spoke to your nephew on the phone this morning and he said it would be fine if I dropped them off. You might be able to use them.”

“Normally I’d say no,” Bernard said. “We have plenty of free agents. We actually make more money here moving sales than we do with trade. I know it’s different over where you are. But I have a couple clients who’ll be happy to see that this one’s back,” he said, cupping Missy’s face in his palm. “What did I tell you, sweetheart? You should have stayed with me the first time.”

Missy smiled. “You’re right, sir.”

“And who’s this?” His gaze shifted to me, his eyebrows raised.

“Apparently these two come together now,” Tony said. “She doesn’t have papers.”

Mr. Bernard slowly appraised me. Taking my chin in his hand, he tipped my head thoughtfully one direction and then the other. His eyes narrowed and his gaze slowly traveled over my eyes, my nose, my lips. I had no idea what he was looking for, but I didn’t doubt that he had a checklist that he was mentally compiling. It was almost as if, with each feature that he studied, he was deciding just how much I was worth. After a moment he lowered my face and picked up a lock of hair that fell beside my cheek. He rubbed it between his fingers.

I stiffened. He’d noticed that my hair had been dyed. I knew it. That careful gaze of his unnerved me. What more could he tell about me?

He dropped my hair and turned back to Tony. “I can take this one, too. What do I need papers for? Half the girls I get in here don’t have any papers.” He laughed. “That’s what my nephew’s good for. You didn’t think that I hired this boy for his intimidating physique, did you? I mean look at him.” He patted Seth on his arm. “Nope. This boy’s a genius. You ever need some papers done up, you come here, you got me?”

Tony nodded. “I’ll remember that.” The idea appeared to make him uncomfortable, but apparently Mr. Bernard wasn’t the sort of person that someone said no to. “So…” Tony said, changing the subject, “you’ve got a couple of girls for me to take back to Buffalo?”

“I do,” he said, turning to lead us out. “Sometimes I wonder if these customers are even more picky than the ones that buy from the kennels. You get these assholes thinking that they’re so smart, working the system, getting the best deal, and suddenly nothing’s good enough for them.”

Mr. Bernard kept talking as he entered a large room with ceilings so high that I wouldn’t be able to reach them even if I stood on the back of five men. In the center of the room was a small raised platform in front of which half a dozen chairs were arranged in a semi-circle.

“Seth, you take these dolls over to the bay and bring back the other ones while I finish up some business with Tony.”

Seth nodded and I realized that I’d never actually heard him speak.

“And Seth?” Bernard called after us. “Don’t screw it up this time.”

We followed him across the room. His shiny black shoes
clack
ed against the cement floor with each step. In the corner, he stopped in front of a heavy curtain and glanced back across the room to where his uncle and Tony were having an animated discussion.

“I didn’t think you’d come back here,” he said to Missy, only glancing at her for a second before he looked down at the ground.

She seemed almost as surprised as I was to hear him speak.

“No,” she finally said, “I didn’t think I’d be back either.”

“I know you’re probably not…happy to be here,” he said, glancing up at her. “But I’m glad to see you again.”

Missy smiled. “Thank you.”

The look on her face surprised me, such pure and honest happiness. I’d never seen her look that way before. But it only lasted a second. She blinked and the usual facade slipped back over her features.

Seth smiled shyly and pulled aside the heavy curtain that led into a small waiting room. The walls were lined with short padded benches. On the other side of the room, two girls sat with their hands folded in their laps. They looked up expectantly when we entered. Both looked as if they’d been crying.

“You can wait here,” Seth said. “I’m kind of busy with things, but maybe I’ll get to see you again soon.”

“Maybe,” Missy said.

“I hope so.”

Missy nodded. Had I imagined it before, that look that crossed her face?

“You two, come with me,” he said to the other two girls. His voice was still soft, kind even, but it sounded different than when he spoke to Missy.

When the curtain had closed behind them, Missy lowered herself down onto one of the benches and buried her head in her hands.

I sat down next to her. “Are you all right?”

“No.” She didn’t look up at me when she spoke.

My hand hovered above her arm.

“Is it that man? Seth?”

Her eyes were fierce when she looked back up. “No. It has nothing…” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I swore I wouldn’t come back here and now I’m here. Just let me deal with it.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “If you want to talk about it—”

“I don’t.”

I got up and paced the room. It wasn’t what I’d expected. I’d imagined that they’d all be similar, but this place was different. So much larger. Yet it wasn’t just the size that shocked me: the wide room just beyond the curtain, with its vast cement floors and expansive ceilings, seemed like part of a machine that could suck us in and crank us out. It made the other market seem like an amateur production.

The curtain parted again and Mr. Bernard stepped inside. Missy and I both stiffened. There was something about this man that frightened her, but I wasn’t sure if she was just intimidated by the sheer size of him the way I was, or if there was something more.

He paused, studying us for just a moment before he spoke.

“This really is unexpected,” he said, smiling. “You know, I pride myself on being a shrewd businessman, but I never should have let you go.”

Missy didn’t answer.

“I hope you’re planning on staying longer this time,” he said. “My offer still stands. I can guarantee that you’re not going to get an offer like that from anyone else.”

“It’s very generous,” Missy said.

Mr. Bernard studied her face.

The Missy I knew had a knack for controlling people, for manipulating them, but it was clear that her normal tactics wouldn’t work on this man. The amused look on his face made me wonder if he could tell that she was avoiding giving him a straight answer.

“You really are a different one, aren’t you?” He chuckled. “Don’t worry. There’s no need to answer me right away. Why don’t you and your friend go back to the common room and get a bit to eat. Rest up. I need you looking fresh for tomorrow.”

He turned to go.

“Wait…” Missy said.

His eyebrows rose as he turned back around.

Missy glanced uncomfortably in my direction. “She can’t do any jobs.”

“I’m sure we can come to some sort of arrangement.” Mr. Bernard grinned. “Come to my office later and we’ll finalize things.”

The curtain swung shut behind him and Missy raised a hand as if she already knew that I was going to object. “Come on. I’ll show you the common room.”

T
he common room didn’t feel a thing like the one in Buffalo. I followed Missy down a set of stairs into a large windowless room. The mood had been quiet at the other market, timid and somber. But here the atmosphere was chaotic. Girls bustled back and forth between the bathroom and the common room, in a constant state of motion. Some were returning from jobs, shedding their strange costumes and rushing to the showers as if they could wash away any remnant of the persona they had just discarded. Others lay passed out on cushions scattered throughout the room, somehow able to sleep through the commotion. It was impossible to tell which girls were free agents and which ones were owned by Mr. Bernard, but there was one thing that was obvious: there were a lot of them.