Tarnished (12 page)

When Drake reached between their bodies and pinched her clit, she tensed. She couldn’t lift into him any longer. Too many brain cells needed. All of them were busy. Dedicated to the delicious stretch of her pussy and the pressure against her clit.

“Come, baby. Again. Come for me, so I can watch you this first time before I explode.”

She shattered before he could finish his sentence. And it felt so fucking good she never wanted it to end. That tight pressure in her pussy yielded to contractions. She milked his cock, unable to watch his face. Even if she’d stared straight into his eyes, she wouldn’t have been able to see. Her vision was clouded.

She moaned so loud, she even heard herself through her blocked ears that seemed to be underwater. The pulsing went on for long moments before she floated back to earth. Drake held steady, deep inside her throughout. When she finally wafted back toward earth, he moved again, thrusting harder, faster. He pounded into her in a manner so wild, she finally understood what all the hype was about.

The connection with him was mind-boggling. She seemed to be inside his head as he finally came, pausing deep inside her, his cock pulsing streams of cum into her womb.

It felt like home.

If she died now, it would have all been worth it.

And she never wanted to leave this place again.

Home.

Hours later, Drake lay draped across his mate’s body, staring at her face as she slept. He caressed her skin, brushing strands of her curls away from her temple.

With his leg flung over one of hers and the sheet tangled between them, he mused that they looked like they were posing for an ancient nude statue. Aphrodite. And her Adonis.

She slept deeply. He smiled. He loved her. There was no doubt. He’d known he loved her yesterday, but that feeling went even deeper after what she’d given him and how hard he’d known it had been for her to do.

He needed her again. His cock ached. He’d slept only minutes. He wasn’t sorry, though, because he’d relished his ability to lie and stare at her while she slept. The sun was still high in the sky. It was approaching dinner time. He didn’t care if he never ate again if he could just lie here and watch his mate sleep.

On the flip side, his cock was achingly hard again. Would she mind if he took her again so soon? She’d been entranced the first time. Would she look like that every time?

Hmm. How to wake her up.

Deciding to surprise her, he grasped her wrists and pulled them over her head while he lowered his body onto hers and leaned his face down to take her lips.

When she bolted awake, her reaction was unexpected.

She shrieked and struggled against him with all her might.

He released his grip and leaned back, surprised to have frightened her so badly. “Kenz, it’s me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
You dumb ass. It’s not like she wakes up every day from a deep sleep with a man poised above her
.

Kenzie scrambled off the bed and stood naked beside it before she even realized where she was. Her eyes were wide, and her gaze roamed the room. The moment she caught up with her circumstances was as obvious as day is to night. Her eyes widened further, and she grabbed for the comforter to cover her nudity. Her chest heaved as she did so.

It all happened so fast.

Drake sat up and then stood next to her, reaching for her.

“Don’t,” she muttered. She turned and fled the room, dragging the deep blue comforter behind her.

Drake ran his hands through his hair.
Well, that didn’t go as planned.
He grabbed his shorts from the ground and stepped into them. Seconds later, he padded down the hall.

Mackenzie sat curled up on the couch in a fetal position. Her head lay tucked low, her face almost covered with the blanket. The only sign she was even awake was the rapid rise and fall of her body as she breathed.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I wasn’t thinking. It was a dumb idea.”

She didn’t move. He inched toward her and sat at her feet.

“Talk to me.”

Moments passed. Just when he thought she’d never say a word, she muttered, “It’s not your fault. It’s me.”

He chuckled. “Sounds like one of those break-up speeches where the girl says ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ just before she dumps the poor bastard.”

He stopped laughing when she didn’t respond. Fear clenched at his gut. What had he done?

Her breathing steadied while his life flashed before his eyes as though he were about to die a horrible death. He didn’t take his gaze off her.

Minutes passed again. Had she fallen asleep? He sat very still, afraid to do anything. He didn’t dare touch her, and he couldn’t bring himself to move.

Finally, as his heart squeezed to the point of pain, she spoke again. “It happened four years ago … at the gathering.” She paused.

He held his breath. What happened? Would she finally tell him whatever made her so skittish? He waited. It was her story to tell in her way on her timeframe.

“I hated even then the entire concept of matings. It seemed like arranged marriages to me. I was only nineteen…” She swallowed so hard he could hear her. Her face was buried under the blanket. He ached to hold her.

“I didn’t realize how it would be … this thing … between us. It seemed like randy teenagers just used their hormones as an excuse to … fuck.”

It was true. Until a wolf met his own mate, it could look that way. The feeling—the connection—to another being that knocked shifters off their feet and left them staggering was unimaginable before that precise moment.

“I was scared and not ready, so I snuck away from the singles meeting the first evening and ducked into a dark, quiet room to think and be alone. Hide.”

He smiled, picturing his skittish mate in her late teens sneaking away to escape the mayhem. But his face felt tight. He knew his brow was furrowed as he waited for the anvil to crash.

“It was a den of some sort I fled to. I sat curled in a chair in the corner. It was situated at a diagonal, so I could see the room but also stare out the window at the night sky and watch the stars twinkle. I was so peaceful. Happy.” Her last word faded as he imagined her sensation of pleasure had at that same moment in history.

He held his own breath as he waited to hear what happened next.
Please God.
His hands were sweating, and he wiped them on his shorts, trying not to move any more than necessary and risk breaking her train of thought with his presence.

“I didn’t see who came in, and I never want to know. A deep male voice filled the room as the door closed with a bang. I flinched, but I was too stunned to speak, and before I knew it, the scene unfolded so fast I’d missed my opportunity. I sat in a tiny ball in that armchair, and no one was ever aware of my unintentional eavesdropping.” Her breathing hitched as she spoke.

His did too. Whatever she was about to say was going to change his world and hers. He hated this pivotal moment in their lives more than he’d ever hated anything. Although he was certain he was about to hate one fucked-up wolf even more.

“A squeal followed by a slap told me the man wasn’t alone. I guess I was tucked away in the shadows enough they couldn’t see me, or they possibly didn’t consider the likelihood of an intruder in the room witnessing their private disagreement.

“When the woman sobbed, he hit her again. ‘Shut up, bitch,’ he growled. ‘You’re mine now. You belong to me and you’ll do as I say. Do you hear?’ The woman whimpered where he held her to the floor, her face pressed into the cold, hard wood. It was all I could do to remain still. I held my breath, praying to any god who would listen to suck me into a hole in the floor and eat me alive.” Kenzie squirmed and situated herself once again on the couch.

He wanted to see her face so badly, but he didn’t dare interrupt. He ached for the girl in that room who’d witnessed more than anyone should ever see. He knew the rest of the story without her speaking, but she needed to get it out, and he needed to be there for her and listen.

Willpower, Drake. Find it.

“When he ripped the girl’s clothes off her body without letting her get up from the floor, I knew what he was going to do. I was helpless. Alone. Scared out of my mind.” Kenzie started sobbing now. “Drake, I did nothing,” she shouted into the comforter. She whipped the blanket off her face and looked up at him. “I sat there and held my breath to save my own ass while that motherfucker raped that poor girl. I couldn’t even blink or look away.”

God.
He gazed into her eyes, the eyes of a mere child who’d seen too much. He bit his lip to keep from interrupting.

“He lifted her naked body onto all fours, pulled his pants down, and fucked her from behind. And all the while he told her to be quiet. That she was his mate now, and he would do as he pleased with her. When he finished fucking her … raping her … he zipped his jeans up and stepped away from her, leaving her collapsed on the floor.” Kenzie took a deep breath before she continued.

“Drake, he left her there. At the door he turned around and commanded her to pick her whimpering self up off the floor and clean up her face before she returned to the gathering. If she thought that was bad, she was in for a world of hurt if she didn’t obey him because he was going to fuck her anywhere and anytime he wanted for the rest of her life, and she was powerless to stop him.”

Kenzie heaved in a breath and looked into her lap. She seemed completely unaware of her nudity as she continued, the blanket having slipped low enough for him to see the tops of her breasts. “He slammed the door as he left the naked wolfgirl on the floor blubbering in fear and surely pain. And the worst part?” She lifted her face to Drake’s once again.

He swallowed the ball of hatred in his throat.

“I still sat there. I didn’t even move a muscle while that poor girl cried and cried. It took her several minutes to peel herself off the ground and crawl around in the darkness to locate her under clothing and dress. She still sobbed. And I watched!” Kenzie yanked the blanket around her shoulders tighter.

“I sat frozen, damned no matter what I did. If I let her know of my presence and helped her, she’d be pissed to find out I’d watched her rape and did nothing. If I stayed where I was and let her find her way out of the room, I’d…” Her voice trailed off, not finishing the thought.

Finally he spoke for her. “You’d hate yourself for what you’d seen and not done.” That was the bottom line, and it was clearly ever-present in her mind every waking hour of every day. Fuck. No wonder she had no interest in mating a wolf. Her only experience was witnessing a fucked-up member of the species raping, molesting, and torturing a young girl into submission.

And then he froze.
I just woke up my mate by holding her down in the bed she’d shared with me.
Realization of the reasons for her flight hit him in the gut.

She nodded and lowered her gaze again. “I’m broken, Drake. I can’t be what you need … deserve. And I’m sorry I misled you and let you claim me without telling you all this. It was cruel of me and unfair.”

“Oh, baby.” He pulled her reluctant frame into his embrace, blanket and all, and squeezed her to his chest. “No. No, no, no. Don’t think like that. You’re my mate. My life. My world. I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you, but you were a child. Just a girl. There was no way for you to have been prepared to handle such a scene. And you have no idea what might have happened if you’d revealed yourself. The man could easily have raped both of you instead of just the one girl.”

Anger boiled inside him.
Who did this?
“You don’t have any idea who it was?”

She shook her head. “It was so dark. I can’t even tell you hair color. I could only watch the silhouettes in the light of the moon.” Her body shook.

His body strained against his rage.
Pull yourself together. She needs you. This isn’t about you, it’s about her.

“So you thought all matings were like that?”

“Uh-huh. Well, perhaps not that brutal, but clearly not chosen. Until I met you … I didn’t believe in the hype. And I hid from the possibility such a thing would ever happen to me.”

He held her and said nothing. Letting her heart rate decline.

She continued. “And then at the last gathering, two years ago, when that crazy Marcus pulled me into the hall and stuck his tongue in my mouth…” She heaved for a breath on a sob. “I thought I was doomed to the same fate. I bit his tongue. He swore at me as I wriggled from his clutch and fled to the restroom. I sat in the stall, curled up in the corner waiting for over an hour. Either he was going to follow me in and rape me or give up and leave me alone. Either way, my fate seemed unavoidable.”

“Reinforcing your belief in the absurdity of matings.”

“Pretty much. I’m so sorry.” She lifted her gaze again, her face inches from his.

“Oh, baby.” He shook his head and set his forehead on hers. “It’s not your fault. You’ve nothing to be sorry for. We’ll get through this. We’ll get counseling, the counseling you should have had for the last four years. I’m so in love with you it hurts. Even after only two days. I hate what happened to you, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. It just makes me sad … and a bit angry, I’ll admit.”

She looked into his eyes with tears falling down her face. “You don’t have to do this.” She swallowed. “Take me on like this, I mean. It’s not fair to you, and I may never be quite right. I don’t think I can ever get over what I saw and the fear I have because of it.”

“And you think I could leave you now? You think that little of me?” He stared into her eyes and watched fresh tears trickle from the corners. “Of course you do. You know nothing else. Kenzie, those two incidences are unique and fucked up. Most wolves mate willingly and with the partner they are meant to spend their lives with. Someone they can’t imagine living without. That’s us, baby. You know that in your heart, right?” He set his hand on her chest between her breasts.

She nodded and gulped around a sob. “I know how I feel, but that doesn’t mean it’s fair for me to trap you with my shit-load of problems you didn’t sign up for.”