Tats Too (39 page)

“And…” Vivian continues to Lulu, “darling sister, you get to pose as us and get arrested and spend some time with Marshal Dillon and probably behind bars before they let you go.”

“Oh, how exciting!” Lulu exclaims.

“But what about you two?” Rachel asks.

Vivian smiles. “We get to be movie stars and ride in the back of a fancy-schmancy limo.”

Lulu grabs Vivian and hugs her hard while Rachel and I shake hands.

“Thanks for marrying us,” I say.

Rachel smiles. “I guess we’re brothers-in-law now.”

I hear Lulu whisper in Vivian’s ear, “I love you, baby sister.”

“Will you come visit us in Mexico?” Vivian asks.

Lulu nods, blinking away sudden tears and whispers, “I can’t wait to meet my niece.”

All this feel-good is interrupted by a loud crash of doors and a booming voice, “Go that way! I’ll go this way! We’ve got ’em cornered!”

I run to the edge of the screen, squat down and peek through a little rip about knee-high. “It’s Dillon and Festus!” I whisper.

“Bait-and-switch!” Vivian orders the other two.

Vivian grabs my hand and pulls me around the screen and out onto the stage. We stop and let the Feebies get a good solid look at us standing there in the shadows.

Dillon aims her gun at us, shouting,“Freeze!”

That’s when Lulu and Rachel run around the other side of the screen and squeak to a stop. Lulu gasps when she sees Dillon and gives a performance worthy of an Oscar when she says, “Not that bitch again!”

Dillon flips her gun over to Lulu and Rachel. She looks confused for a moment, then takes the bait hook, line and sinker. “Freeze!” she orders.

Suddenly, Lulu grabs Rachel’s hand, saying “C’mon, Lee! Run for it!” They sprint back around the movie screen with Dillon and Festus barreling after them.

Vivian and I look at each other and smile. Hand in hand, we saunter back through the theatre, out the lobby doors and straight for the limo.

People cheer us like we’re movie stars, holding out papers for us to autograph and cameras flash us to within an inch of our lives. We just smile a whole lot and way too big.

That’s when Gay Cop, who almost wrote us a ticket in the desert, moves out of the crowd, saying, “Thanks for the tickets, ladies,” and chivalrously opens the limo door for us.

The last thing I see as we pull away is Fake Hilary dressed as Elvis standing in front of the Winkle sisters, singing and giving them a damn good impersonation of Elvis the Pelvis.

***

The only thing separating my ass from the expensive leather seat is a silk Armani suit. I could seriously get used to this life. I’ve lived in houses that weren’t as big or as nice as the back of
this limo.

“M&M’s!” Vivian screams, holding up a big cut-glass jar filled with the things. “They thought of everything!”

“Miss? Where to?” the driver asks without turning around.

“Mexico!” Vivian says. “Take us all the way to Mexico City and I’ll triple your pay.”

“I know a sweet little cabana house by the ocean you might be interested in,” he says.

“Really?” Vivian asks. “Do tell.”

“Yeah,” he says. “It comes with everything. Servants. View of the ocean and sunsets. Even has a little red-headed baby living there with her grandma and grandpa.”

“What the hell’re you talking about?” I interject.

The limo driver twists in his seat and grins at me.

Oh my God! It’s Chopper!

“Chopper!” I yell. “What the…? How the…? Who…?” I stumble.

He laughs and looks back to the road, telling us, “Delia and Georgia are there right now. They went down and got set up after we got your note. I stayed on to help. Figured I’d start at the movie premiere and see if I couldn’t find you that way. Gave the real driver a little bonus and he looked the other way when I got behind the wheel.”

The whole thing, the whole surprising thing brings sudden tears to my eyes. “Have I ever told you…” I finally manage to choke out.

“No mushy stuff,” he warns. “I’m just doing what any father would do.”

“If there were more men like you—”

“I know,” he cuts me off, “the world would be a great fucking place.” He throws me another grin and adds, “I’ll stop right before the border and gas up. That’ll be a couple of hours or so. You girls get comfortable and enjoy the ride.”

He powers up the dark, glass window separating us.

Vivian and I look at each, stunned. She tosses a handful of M&M’s into her mouth and chews. Finally, I say, “We’re married. We’re riding in a limo. In just a few hours, we’ll be sitting on a beach with our little girl in our laps.” I shake my
head at the
wonderment of it all.

***

“There’s only one thing left to do,” Vivian says, setting down the jar of candy.

“What?”

She crawls across the floor and kneels between my legs. “I think I owe you two or three.”

I tease, “I don’t know, scuttlebutt has it that you owe me more like eight or nine.”

“Scuttlebutt?” she exclaims. “Dammit, Lee, if you don’t stop with the—”

I interrupt by pulling her into a kiss.

***

Half an hour later, I’m naked, breathing heavy, still tingling from ecstatic aftershocks with Vivian naked and lying on top of me. She grins slyly and whispers, “I got it.”

“Huh?”

She holds up the Devil’s Diamond and smiles. “I got it.”

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