Tattered Innocence (18 page)

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Authors: Ann Lee Miller

Tags: #adultery, #sailing, #christian, #dyslexia, #relationships and family, #forgiveness and healing

BOOK: Tattered Innocence
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He wiped the sweat from his forehead with
the crook of his arm. “I caught you.”

“Did not.”

“I grabbed your arm before you even got over
the gangplank.”

“I’m not in the Intracoastal, am I?”

“I can fix that.” Jake jumped up and folded
his arms around her middle.

“Noooooo! I
said
the cockpit’s
base.”

Jake’s hold loosened, but Rachel didn’t
move. Her heart beat like a snare drum.

He let go and scooted up against the
coaming. “Come on, I’ll give you that backrub.”

Rachel let the air out of her lungs and sank
down on the edge of the cockpit bench in front of Jake.

His thumbs pressed into her shoulders. But
she couldn’t relax, thinking about the kiss looming in their
future. Trying not to think about Gabrielle.

“I read in
Cruising World
that if you
spray your dock lines and gangplank with insecticide, you can keep
roaches off your boat.”

Rachel closed her eyes. Obviously, Jake
hadn’t been affected. She might as well try to relax and enjoy the
backrub.

A few minutes later her muscles slackened
under his hands. “Mmm.”

 

 

Jake kneaded Rachel’s stiff shoulders. Good
thing he’d resisted kissing her. Even the asked-for backrub made
her uncomfortable.

A picture of Dad rubbing Mom’s shoulders
when he was a kid ran through his head. He could almost hear them
talking during the nightly back rubs, though at eight, he hadn’t
paid attention to what they said. He wondered if that picture and
others like it made him hungry for marriage and kids.

But he had no idea whether he was over Gabs,
what he had to do to get over her. Telling himself he wanted
another old-money woman was probably a defense mechanism, keeping
him from going after Rachel. If he really wanted old money, Maddy
would have qualified. But he wasn’t attracted to her. Possibly, he
wasn’t attracted to the entire pool of women who held the key to
the upper crust.

Rachel sighed, the muscles in her shoulders
softened under his hands.

Maybe he was just attracted to Rachel.

He forked his fingers through the thick
ropes of her hair and let the silk curl through his fingers before
he pressed his thumbs against the base of her neck.

Rachel leaned into his touch.

Movement across the finger pier caught his
eye.

Leaf dropped his mouth open in mock surprise
like a mime and shot him a thumbs-up.

Jake looked down at his fingers tracing the
spirals of her ears. He jerked his hands away. He needed to put a
lid on his attraction for Rachel. He needed to get his head on
straight before he messed with her life.

 

 

Chapter 16

 

Rachel walked beside her “little,” six-foot
brother across the weathered boards toward the
Smyrna Queen
.
Sunshine toasted the Autumn chill from the air between her and
Hall. Tidy trash bins and dock boxes lined the pier like parade
watchers. Beyond, boats bobbed in their slips.

He’d shown up today, meeting her half way to
put their relationship back together. She glanced up at him,
grateful. “It’s been hard being disconnected from you.”

He shrugged, and she wished he’d say
something—anything.

She linked her arm through his, grasping for
their lifelong connection. “Do you remember when I held your hand
when you were learning to walk? When I pushed you on your Big
Wheel?”

“I remember the Big Wheel.” He pointed to a
pink scar on his knee.

“You don’t remember anything before
that?”

Hall shook his head.

Her most important memories curled up in her
chest like tiny snapshots blackened by fire. She tried to stamp
them out. “When you were a baby, Mama and Daddy were gone all day
at work. Granny was happy to let me treat you like a baby doll come
to life. When I fed you a bottle, you’d gaze up at me like I was
your favorite person in the world.”

“Jusinia is my favorite person now. We’ve
grown up.”

Rachel shot him a wry look. “At least one of
us has—you grew up to be the family saint.”

“Right.”

“I’m serious.”

His expression darkened as he gazed toward
the far shore, He jammed his hands into the pockets of his surf
shorts.

Rachel’s arm fell away from his side and she
squinted at him, awash in undercurrents she hadn’t meant to wade
into. “What?”

“Nothing.”

The soles of her tennis shoes beat a steady
rhythm on the splintering boards.

There used to be a time when Rachel knew
what Hall was thinking. She swallowed and focused on his ratty
Converses as they closed the distance to the boat. “It’s about time
you met the
Queen
.”

Hall followed her down the finger pier. “So,
show me this barge of yours.”

“Shhh. She’ll hear you.”

Jake stood on the
Queen’s
deck
watching them.

Rachel waved and dragged Hall by the
wrist.

He followed her onto the gangplank.

She glanced over her shoulder at her
brother. “Hall, this is my boss, Jake.”

The guys shook hands. She watched Jake’s
cool gaze skim over Hall’s spiky blond hair and Ron Jon T-shirt.
Her lungs filled with pride in Hall and the smell of sunshine
baking the
Queen’s
decks. What did Jake think of her
brother?

Jake turned his back on them. “I’ll be in
the engine room.” He disappeared into the fore companionway.

Rachel blew out a breath, her shoulders
sagging. “He’s got a master’s in rude. Come on, I’ll show you our
cabin.” She slipped through the aft hatch.

Hall’s eyes flicked between Rachel’s and
Jake’s bunks.

“Not a problem. He’s in love with his
ex-fiancé.”

After she gave him a tour of the main cabin,
they climbed onto the deck.

Jake stood on the fore cabin, twist-locking
the cover on the mainsail.

Hall strode across the deck to Jake. “Nice
barge.”

Jake glanced at Hall and back at the sail
cover. “Ketch.”

“I told you not to call her a barge,” Rachel
said under her breath. “Let’s go.”

Hall didn’t budge. “I can’t imagine how you
get a lick of work out of my sister.”

Jake’s eyebrows shot up. His mouth dropped
open like he was going to say something, but he shut it.

Hall stared at Jake like he’d just one-upped
him. “When she finally gets her lazy tail out of bed, she’s crabby
as all get-out. How do you stand her?”

Oooh. Hall is so going to hear about
this.

Jake returned Hall’s level stare, the
corners of his mouth curling. “Good help is hard to find. You take
what you can get.”

Jake’s tongue-in-cheek tone matched
Hall’s.

Hall pinned Jake with an unsmiling gaze for
another second—wordless guy-speak zinging between them.

Rachel glared at them. She didn’t know which
annoyed her more—their trash talking her or the silent
communication she couldn’t decipher.

Jake twisted the last lock into place. “Come
on, I’ll give you the topside tour.”

The guys moved off toward the bow as if
they’d achieved some mini détente.

Rachel shook her head. If Hall acted weird,
at least Jake had switched gears into politeness.

She dug her grocery list and phone out of
her pocket and checked the time. “Hall, you promised to change my
oil for my birthday gift. We better go soon.”

Hall waved her off.

She ducked into the cabin to check her
e-mail on Jake’s laptop. Her grade for Early Childhood Development
would post today.

Her fingers drummed on Jake’s desk waiting
for his computer to load her account. There it was—Daytona State
College. Not bothering to decipher the subject line, she held her
breath and clicked open the e-mail. Her eyes skimmed through,
looking for a letter grade. No need to read every word when all she
wanted to know was whether she passed.

“Yes!” She jogged topside and sprinted up
the deck to Hall. “I passed! I passed my first college class!” She
hugged her brother. “Can you believe it?”

Hall laughed. “You mean
I
passed.”

She spun to Jake and threw her arms around
him. “Congratulate me. I just passed Early Childhood
Development.”

Jake stumbled back a step. “Congratulations.
I didn’t know you were taking a class.”

She released him, her cheeks taut from her
grin, and faced Hall. “Let’s go. I have to tell everyone.”

Maybe she wasn’t so stupid after all.

Hall held out his hand to Jake. They shook.
“Take care of my sister.”

September sun radiated through her skin all
the way inside. She blinked up at Hall. “Thanks—and for all those
hours of reading.”

Clouds scuttled across the sky dousing them
in shadow.

 

 

Jake watched Hall push the dock gate open
for Rachel. The guy was built like a linebacker and he’d nailed
Jake’s annoyance in thirty seconds. What was up with that? Jake
couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt fire flash through his
gut like it did when Rachel walked up the pier with her arm hooked
through—her brother’s.

He shook his head. He’d been an idiot. Of
course Rachel wouldn’t date another guy when she’d barely exed
Bret. Rachel’s affections flowed ocean deep—not just with Bret. It
was one of the things that kept him from kissing her. The last
thing she needed was another guy looking for friendship with
benefits. Kissing would have to mean something.

Jake went below for pliers.

Hall couldn’t have been clearer if he’d said
it in words—hurt my sister and I’ll hurt you. Message received. The
kid had four inches and thirty pounds of muscle on him.

Hall obviously saw Jake as a guy who was
into Rachel. Had Rachel said something? Had he figured it out from
Jake’s bad attitude when they met? Jake hadn’t seen himself as a
guy with feelings for Rachel until twenty minutes ago.

From his workbench, he noticed Rachel had
left his computer powered up. He glanced at the e-mail she’d left
open.

C minus

She did cartwheels over a C minus? Did
Rachel have a below average IQ? He shut the computer down. He
thought about her rapid-fire comebacks, her instant mastery of
anything he taught her on the
Queen
. Maybe she was a poor
student, had test anxiety. He shook his head, mystified.

Rachel’s mentioning her birthday to Hall
stuck in his head. He needed to come up with a gift. His gut
tensed, old anxiety surfacing like a whale lumbering up for
air.

He’d been in seventh grade at Gilford Prep
when he went to Justin Healey’s birthday party. He hadn’t given a
second thought to the super soaker water rifle Mom bought at a
garage sale and handed to him as he slid out of the car in front of
Justin’s house. He’d deposited the gift in the re-used birthday bag
on the dining room table, on its side because the bag wouldn’t
stand up under the weight of the rifle—details he wouldn’t have
remembered if they hadn’t embedded in him an hour later.

No dummy, Justin opened the envelopes
first—twenty-five dollar gift card to Target, fifty to Game Zone,
thirty to the arcade at the mall. Then, he tore into the
packages—electronics. At last, he yanked the super soaker out of
Jake’s rumpled gift bag. “Cool,” he said, the kind of
cool
you said when you got underwear for Christmas.

Shopping for gifts for Gabs had been
grueling. The fear of disappointing her made him second-guess
himself. He always ended up with too-expensive jewelry that he
never knew if she liked. Even the engagement ring she chose didn’t
seem to make her happy. Had she picked one of the cheapest in the
store because she knew Jake funneled his money into restoring the
Queen?

He thought of his sister, Nikki, the year
she got her chocolate Lab-Weimaraner puppy, Sadie. Nikki’s mouth
had flown open in a silent scream. Then, she scooped Sadie out of
her basket and danced around the house planting kisses on the
puppy’s face until the dog peed on her. Nikki laughed and kissed
Sadie again. Someday, Jake wanted to give a gift that delighted
like that.

He sighed. What would wow Rachel?

 

 

Rachel plodded up the pier toward the
Queen.
October eleventh. The gray sky spit drops of water,
matching her mood. Nobody had even said happy birthday to her.
True, Hall changed her oil on Saturday. Her family and Cat had
celebrated last night. But today was her birthday, and her parents
left for work before she saw them.

At least Hall could have mentioned it when
he dropped her off on the way to Daytona State College. But he kept
up a one-sided conversation about Jusinia, his new girlfriend, how
beautiful she was, yada, yada.

And why had Jake borrowed her car yesterday
afternoon? She’d been so startled to see him on the doorstep that
she’d forgotten to ask.

When he spotted her walking up the dock,
Jake lowered himself from the bowsprit to the dock like a gymnast.
He walked full-tilt toward her, plunked her car keys into her hand.
“Come on, I want to show you something.”

She trudged after Jake back the way she’d
come, not even trying to keep up.

He pushed through the gate at the end of the
pier and waited for her to walk through.

She halted. “What happened to my car? It’s
shiny… sky blue.” Her baby blue Escort had faded to a chalky
almost-white before she bought it.

Jake shot her a grin as they approached the
car. “Stuff’s called wax. You ought to try it sometime.” He swung
open the driver’s door and the back door.

New, dark blue floor mats covered the
floorboards. The colorless, worn carpet bordering the mats looked
scrubbed and the seat fabric had lightened several shades. Gone
were the fingerprints around the door handles and the furry coat of
dust on the dash. The windows sparkled. A car deodorizer the shape
of a wave hung from the rearview mirror,
Sea Mist
stamped at
the bottom.

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