Taylor Lynne: The Women of Merryton - Book Two (17 page)

I did my best to settle
into Merryton, all while not settling in. Because of Ashley and my job, I
couldn’t stay totally disconnected. Ashley made the varsity volleyball team and
I knew that alone would make me engage more than I wanted to, but for her, I
would do anything. My job was keeping me in the fray of things. I even relented
to Gloria Ryan’s constant requests to have me teach a nutrition class at one of
their women’s meetings in July.

We made it through June
mostly unscathed. I did my best to only see Easton on the weekends when I
attended the baseball games with the girls, and for church and Sunday dinners. He
too seemed to try and keep his distance. He wasn’t popping in anymore to see me
at the hospital. The distance, unfortunately, was not helping me to get over
him. It’s not like I pined for him, but I couldn’t deny that I felt deeply for
him on both the love and hate spectrum. Maybe less and less on the hate side.

As I watched him be the
father I always knew he could be to Ashley, I had a harder and harder time
loathing him. I was particularly touched over the July Fourth weekend when he
asked Ashley to escort him to the Mayor’s annual ball. I was doing everything I
could not to be involved in the community, so I disregarded the coaxing from
Jessie and Rachel that I should attend. Instead, I opted to watch Emmy. I was
becoming more involved with her than I ever intended, but I couldn’t help
myself. She easily won over my heart, and as long as I didn’t think about how
she arrived on the planet, we had no issues.

Ashley was more than
looking forward to her father-daughter date, and not just because it was
another excuse to go shopping. We found the most darling periwinkle blue party
dress for the occasion. The short, flirty dress was made of satin with a lace
overlay and she looked absolutely picture perfect in it. We found the perfect
nude heels to match. She would be the belle of the ball.

The ball fell on the
Friday night before the Fourth of July and was such a big deal that most of
Merryton was shut down for the occasion. It was a perfect excuse to escape with
Emmy to a nearby town to catch a show and dinner. No prying eyes or odd
glances.

I helped Ashley get all dolled
up by doing her hair. We styled it in a low braid that was a combination of a
fishtail braid and a French braid. She looked gorgeous. Her happiness only
added to her beauty. I was a tad jealous that her dad could make her so happy,
but mostly relieved. It was the way it should be.

Easton and Emmy arrived
at a quarter ‘til six. Ashley was finishing up her makeup, so I answered the
door. I wasn’t prepared to see Easton decked out in a dark suit and tie. He
looked amazing, even with the poorly tied azure tie. My heart rate went into overdrive.
It was a problem I needed to work through.

We both stood and stared
at one another for a moment. He looked me over in my casual white shorts and
red button-up blouse while I tried my best not to ogle him.

“Come in,” I managed to
say, but it came off as awkward.

Emmy hugged me before
running off to find her sister.

Easton held a lovely
bouquet of lavender roses and baby’s breath. “I brought these for Ashley.” He
was trying to make sure I knew they weren’t for me. He didn’t need to clarify.

“I’m sure she’ll love
them.” I turned around to hurry Ashley up. Her dad needed to go.

“Taylor,” Easton called
before I barely made it a few steps.

“Yeah,” I responded
without facing him.

“Would you mind fixing my
tie for me?”

Yes, I would.
That
would torture me some more by getting up close and personal. “Sure,” I said as
I turned around.

He grinned as I
approached him with care. “I’ve never been able to master it,” he admitted.

I shook my head. “For
someone that performs surgery, you’d think it wouldn’t be an issue.”

“I can’t be perfect at
everything,” he teased.

I did my best to not
breathe him in as I undid his tie. I tried desperately not to look in his eyes.
And mostly I tried not to remember how much I loved tying his tie for him. I
especially used to love how it took forever because he would always bend down
and kiss my face and neck until he was almost late for whatever appointment he
had.

“Thanks for keeping Emmy
tonight, she’s been talking about it all week,” he said.

“It’s no problem.” I kept
my focus on tying an Eldredge knot. I couldn’t look up at him. He smelled
fantastic and his cinnamon breath and pheromones were eliciting an undesirable
response.

“Taylor,” he said.

“Yes?” I said into his
chest.

I guess that didn’t work
for him. He tipped my chin up gently with his hand. Hormone overload.

I looked into his warm
eyes.

“Thank you,” he repeated
in that smooth voice of his.

“You’re welcome,” I
whispered back.

He didn’t release my chin,
or my eyes with his own. I felt frozen in place. The electricity between us was
palpable. Thank goodness for children in the house.

“Dad,” Ashley said.

Easton and I both took a
step back from each other. I felt like I needed to crank up the air
conditioner. Either that or menopause was hitting me early. Hot flash was an
understatement.

Easton smiled at our
beauty and met her halfway in the foyer. He gently touched her cheek. “You look
beautiful, honey.”  

My eyes stung with tears.
Was I going to be emotional every time Easton acted fatherly toward our
daughter?

“Thanks, Dad,” she
responded.

Emmy joined my side and I
put my arm around her.

Easton held out the
flowers for our daughter. “These are for you.”

Ashley grinned wide.
“Thank you.” She took them and breathed them in. “You know these are mom’s
favorite flowers?”

Easton looked my way. “I
know.”

I didn’t think he would
remember. He used to leave a single lavender rose on his pillow, sometimes with
a note, so when I woke up it was the first thing I would see. I willed myself
not to cry at the memory. Instead, I looked down at Emmy. “Ready to hit the
town, sugar?”

She nodded her pretty
little head.

“We should get going,
too,” Easton said.

“I’ll put the flowers in
water,” I offered to Ashley.

“Thanks, Momma.”

I took the flowers from
her hand and looked between the father-daughter pair. “Have a good time,” I
said more to Ashley than Easton. Looking at Easton was causing too many
stirrings.

“We will.” Ashley
enthusiastically hugged me.

Easton took the time to
hug Emmy goodbye.

I looked at the scene in
front of me and was still in awe about how different my life had turned out
from what I thought and wished it would be. I sure as heck never planned on
caring so much for Emmy, but in a way I think we each filled a void for each
other.

We swapped children and
each went our separate way. Easton and I didn’t speak to each other, at least
not in words. Again, there was this pull between us, but it was as if we both
knew we should ignore it.

As soon as Easton and
Ashley were out the door, I turned to my little shadow. She was already right
next to me. “Let’s go have some fun.”

She smiled and nodded.
That was Emmy language for “Yes!”

One of the things that
endeared me to Emmy was she talked when she felt like it, but didn’t mind when
it was quiet. She also didn’t mind my kind of music, or at least she didn’t say
anything about it. And, unlike her sister, she wasn’t old enough to sit in the
front seat and change the station.

I watched her in the back
seat from the rearview mirror. I noticed how she kept touching her smooth legs.
Ashley and I were helping her get the hang of using a razor. She only nicked
herself once so far, and nothing major. I was glad that she seemed less
self-conscious.

Emmy chose pizza for
dinner. Or at least I coerced her to choose. She had a hard time verbalizing
what she wanted. It was another thing we had in common. I was trying to be
better in my old age, and I made it my goal to make sure Emmy learned how at a
young age.

I splurged and ordered a
deluxe wedge salad, complete with real bacon bits and fat-filled bleu cheese
dressing. It was delicious. I had forgotten how good bacon tasted, which was
probably a good thing.

We walked hand in hand
from the pizza parlor to the movie theater down the block. I loved the feel of
her hand in mine. I missed little hands to hold, though she wasn’t that small. And
I think she craved motherly affection. Easton was an affectionate father to her
and to Ashley, but it couldn’t replace a mother’s affection, just like fathers
offer something mothers can’t. I’d tried my best over the years to be both to
Ashley, but I realized there was something only Easton could give her. Fathers
make a difference. For so long I tried to deny it, first because of Frank and
then because of Easton, but seeing the difference in Ashley in such a short
time had only proved to me what I already knew deep down.

Emmy chose a movie
adaption of a children’s classic
.
I wasn’t surprised; I had seen her
reading the Lewis Carroll classics. She was such a smart girl.

Before the movie began, I
received a text message from Jessie. It was a picture of Ashley and Easton
dancing at the ball.
She is stealing the show tonight
, the text read.

Along with the happy
feeling the picture invoked, there was a twinge of sadness. I thought of what
Harry had said and decided not to look back, only forward. I had to quit
thinking about all the might-have-beens. I had to let go of the regret and
resentment. I had to move on. I looked one more time at the light in Ashley’s
eyes and tried my best to be happy for my daughter.

I texted back a quick
thank you before squeezing Emmy’s hand. From there we enjoyed our movie. I
think I may have watched Emmy more than the screen. I loved hearing her laugh.
It was a rarity.

Emmy indulged me and let
me read to her as we waited for Ashley and Easton to return home. I decided she
needed a little fun in her life, and perhaps some lighter fare, so I read a
cute middle-grade mystery that I used to read to Ashley.

Emmy’s head ended up in
my lap and I stroked her hair while I read. I didn’t even realize she had
fallen asleep until Ashley and Easton came through the door. Emmy and I were
curled up on my couch in the living room and I had a view of the front door
from where I sat. Ashley was still all lit up. Easton, on the other hand, gazed
at his sleeping daughter in my lap and almost looked pained.

I set the book down and
shook Emmy gently. “Hey sleepyhead, your dad is here.”

Emmy barely stirred.

Easton walked over and
knelt in front of us. “Don’t wake her. I’ll carry her to the truck.”

I nodded in
acknowledgment.

“Thank you,” he said
quietly as he lifted her. He acted like he was in a hurry to leave. It was
probably for the best. He didn’t say another word to me. He kissed Ashley
goodbye on the cheek, and mentioned something about this being the best “date”
he’d had in years. The two exchanged “I love yous” and Emmy and Easton were out
the door.

I breathed a sigh of
relief.

Ashley took her sister’s
place and I began to stroke her thick, dark hair.

“Did you have fun
tonight, love?”

“So much.”

“I’m glad,” I said. I
even meant it.

We didn’t say anything
for a moment.

“Dad and I talked
tonight.” There was an edge to her voice.  

“I assumed you would.”

“You know what I mean,”
she said.

I was hesitant to ask
what about by her tone. “Anything you want to share?”

“I asked him why he
stayed away from me.”

Oh. I was not expecting
that, but it was a natural question and one she deserved an answer to. It was
one I had asked him over the years, but only received angry, defensive answers
to. “And what did he say?” I prayed it wasn’t because of me.

“He said he didn’t want
to and he never intended to. He said more than anything he wanted me in his
life, but his life wasn’t a good place to be and that once Emmy was born, he
felt like he couldn’t leave her with her mom.”

“Did he say why?” I
interrupted.

“Only that she wasn’t a
good person. He said I was blessed to have the mom I have. He mentioned he
tried to leave her, but he didn’t go into any details. He started to cry. I
think he feels really bad about everything that happened.”

“He cried?” I had only
seen Easton cry twice. Once when we saw the first ultrasound of Ashley, and again
the day she was born. He was so in love with her.

“Not a lot, but yeah,
there were some tears. He said this past month has been the best month he’s had
since you guys were married.”