Teach Before You Fuck (Before You Fuck #1) (2 page)

“Fuck,” Jonathan screamed as he came and we collapsed in a heap next to each other. But we couldn’t hang out for long because I had to get home. Needless to say, every step hurt as we went up those stairs to sneak back out to his car.

Chapter Five

Jonathan and I were looking at colleges the entire time we were together that year. His family had big plans for him: he was going to an Ivy League university. It felt funny to be invited to dinner at his house when his parents would talk about Harvard and Yale as if those universities were the only ones available. I always ate quietly and didn’t really have much to add to the conversation.

Getting to go to college was a huge deal for someone from my family. My mother needed me to be within driving distance so I only looked at state schools within two hours of my mom. And while Jonathan was able to spend the first few years of college figuring himself out and taking whatever liberal arts classes he felt like, I knew that every dollar spent was precious and had to be invested in career development.

The best public teacher’s college in Illinois was Illinois State University in Normal, Illinois. I felt truly “normal” when I told Jonathan that I accepted the invitation to attend ISU, but he was happy for me. What was left unspoken was that he would be going somewhere else. I didn’t know what was going to happen to us. I cried a lot about it. How could I live without Jonathan?

When Jonathan was accepted into Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island, it might as well have been on the moon. But he loved visiting the school when he went with his dad to visit; it was a done deal. I knew that I would not have the money to visit him in Rhode Island and, even though we liked each other a lot, I sensed that Jonathan would not be flying to Normal on a regular basis.

But we made the best of it. The summer before we left for new adventures in college was fantastic. I got a job at the Denny’s restaurant in town. Every night after my shift, he would pull up in his Land Rover and take me away. Sometimes I felt the need to shower after work because I was wearing my uniform and smelled like fast food. Those days he would take me to home so I could freshen up before going out, but once he told me that he was going to surprise me and take me somewhere new.

“What?! It’s so late!” I protested, but off we went.

We wound up at Glencoe beach, which was right on Lake Michigan. Jonathan parked sneakily in a partially-wooded area because we both knew that no one was supposed to be out at night on the beach.

He grabbed towels from the back seat and a plastic bag with flip flops for me. I took off my shoes and whipped them in the car, rifling around in the bag for the flip flops.

“No suit?”

“I guess you’ll be skinny dipping,” he replied.

I smiled and we ran down the wooden stairs and through the cool sand. As I ran I stripped off my shirt and unhitched my bra, I hopped, one-legged out of my pants and I ran straight into the ocean with Jonathan at my side.

The cold of the water shocked my system and I instinctively jumped into Jonathan’s arms. He pulled us both into the water and I clung to him, shivering. Only our heads were above the water and we started making out.

“You smell like French fries, Laura.”

“You’re a jerk,” I said, biting his lip teasingly as I kissed him fiercely.

“Let’s go back to the car now that the stink of Denny’s has washed off of you,” Jonathan said. I laughed at his comment and looked down to see he had a boner.

We scrambled back on to the beach, falling in the thick sand.

Jonathan grabbed my hand and pulled me up and we started jogging towards the wooden stairs.

We reached the car in our towels and Jonathan stopped me from getting in the front seat. He had a funny little smirk on his face.

“Why don’t you get in the back?”

“Wait…here?”

Before I knew it Jonathan had opened the back door and he was kissing me as we fell into the backseat of the Land Rover.

His body was immediately on top of mine on the leather seat. Then he pulled back and said, “Suck me.” He sat in the back seat and I squeezed myself down to kneel on the floor. I grabbed his dick and started moving it between my hands and he moaned. He pushed my head so I put his hard cock into my mouth, moving back and forth with my lips and tongue. He pushed his dick deep into my mouth and I gagged quietly as he moaned. He reached down between my legs and finding me wet, he pulled my mouth off his dick and lifted my face up into his lap.

Jonathan kissed me fiercely and then he moved me to turn my body over. All of a sudden he bent me over the seat, the weight of his body on my back. Reaching down he pushed fingers into me. I moaned loudly; my body ached for his touch.

Jonathan grabbed my hips and pulled me to him. Each time he achieved deeper penetration, he hit my g-spot and I felt my senses burst with pleasure. He pushed my legs wider apart and my body and head slid along the leather side in a rhythmic motion. It was awkward in the small space of the backseat, elbows and knees rubbing on leather, but the electricity flowed between us as we moved one.

He thrusted deeper and deeper inside me. I felt like my body couldn’t take a second more and then we climaxed together and fell into a heap on the backseat.

“That was incredible Jonathan,” I said.

“Yeah, babe,” he said and reached around to the front of the Land Rover, grabbed a pack of cigarettes, and lit up.

Chapter Six

Even though I knew in my heart that my relationship with Jonathan couldn’t survive being long distance, I went through the motions during the first few weeks of college. We had a weepy goodbye, but once he was gone I jumped back into my reality and spent some time with my mom before moving into the dorm.

Jonathan and I called each other, but we texted more. Once I was on campus, I was meeting a lot of new people, having interesting conversations about life, and learning tons about being a teacher. But my relationship with Jonathan had changed. Conversation was forced when we talked on the phone. We were talking about our new friends, but not about each other. Our texting turned to sexting, but compared to the real thing, sexting was boring and did nothing for me.

In my Theory of Education class, I sat in the back with my laptop propped up on my desk so I could take notes. It also served as a cover so that I could put my phone on the keyboard and text if I had to. It was a large lecture hall that angled back sharply like an auditorium so the professor couldn’t see me anyway.

I was typing away when a black guy next to me looked at me.

“Girl, he must be fine to get that much of your attention.”

My head snapped up.

“Oh yes, he’s fine,” I laughed, putting down the phone, “I’m Laura.”

“Hi, I’m Alex,” he said and he gave my hand a weak shake, “And don’t you worry about me: I’m gay.”

If I’d taken a closer look at him, I would have been able to figure that out. He was wearing a light pink button down shirt with a light purple Polo vest, khaki pants, and bright purple faux crocodile leather shoes.

“But honey, this class is actually taught by one of the better professors here. I don’t think ‘Hot Cell Phone Guy’ should take preference,” Alex gave me one raised eyebrow, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about fine guys but only after dark.”

I laughed and put the phone in my bag. After class, Alex invited me out to coffee to the closest cafeteria.

Alex made me laugh. I didn’t remember laughing that much even when I was with Jonathan. Alex told me about his life growing up on the south side of Chicago. He battled discrimination because of his race and his sexual orientation. Alex was a survivor, but he was driven to rise above it. He wanted to be a teacher so that he could inspire other students. He was going to get an endorsement in special education so he could work with the neediest students.

“I’m real choosy about the guys I date,” Alex confided to me, “I know I’m young and desirable and I know how to use it. Work it.”

“Well, I feel desirable with Jonathan. He’s my first…everything,” I told Alex, “But he’s at Brown University –“

“Damn girl, you don’t play,” Alex said, “Is that an Ivy?”

“He’s smart, but I’m smart, too. He just had more money and so he could attend a top tier school,” I told Alex, “My parents are working class folks. I mean, at least my mom is... I still talk about my dad in present tense sometimes. He passed away about two years ago. I’m the first one to attend college. Illinois State is pretty much an Ivy League to my family!”

Alex confided in me that he was also one of the first people in his family to make it to college. His parents were married and happy, but he grew up in a marginal part of Chicago. He worried about his safety as a gay man and so did his parents.

“I was beat up in the alley behind my house so many times. But that was before I got nice and stocky in junior high,” Alex said, “Guys laid off me then, because I had learned how to defend myself. I’m just grateful to God I got out and I can move on with my life. Not everyone is so lucky.”

“I bet your parents, like my mom, are thrilled that you are going into teaching.”

“A stable career? Oh hell yeah, Laura. They were worried that with me being gay that I’d go to a pride parade and join the fucking circus,” he laughed.

“Sure, I wanted to fuck every boy toy, but I didn’t,” Alex stopped and then raised an eyebrow, “Well, I only screwed a few.”

I knew at that moment that Alex would be a great BFF.

Chapter Seven

Finally Jonathan called me after we’d texted for about two weeks without calling each other.

“Laura, this isn’t working out.”

I didn’t know what to say. I knew that the sexual part of our relationship was unbelievable, but it had become pretty obvious that there was little else to our relationship.

“Look, Laura, I’ve been thinking,” Jonathan continued.

“I know we’re going to break up,” I choked back a sob.

“I think we both knew that was coming, but I have a proposal for you.”

“Proposal?” I asked, confused.

“Laura, it’s a crazy thought, but hear me out. If we reach the age of 30 and neither of us is in a serious relationship or married, let’s elope to Vegas.”

“Jonathan, wait a sec, I’m your girlfriend insurance policy?”

“I can’t predict to the future, but I know that we have chemistry. I can live with that when I’m thirty.”

I paused. It sounded like a decent plan. We were both 18, in our first year of college. That gave us 12 years to find someone else. If we didn’t by the time we were thirty, we’d get married and have mind-blowing sex for the rest of our lives.

“Ok, you’ve got a deal.”

“See you in twelve, Laura.”

Chapter Eight

The year went by pretty fast. I dug into my coursework with Alex as my sidekick. We both geeked out in education classes, finding the material engaging and compelling. Alex and I racked up all A’s and got on the honor roll. I really didn’t miss Jonathan, but, honestly, I did miss the sex. I didn’t meet anyone I wanted to connect with: I was focused on my studies. So I didn’t have sex with anyone. I guess I didn’t want to be vulnerable and get hurt. It was weird. I had spent more than year of my life fucking Jonathan, the most untouchable guy emotionally. I was totally vulnerable with him physically and we had a blast, but in my heart I knew that my relationship with Jonathan was superficial.  That meant that I never had to let him in, like really in, to the deepest part of me.

On the flip side, Alex and I strengthened our friendship. Because he was gay I could be myself and never worry. I didn’t worry about my appearance with him like I did around straight guys, but he did give me pointers on how to dress. He was just so fun to hang out with. Towards the end of our first year, I asked him if he wanted to be my roommate during our second year. I knew that Alex would be the perfect roommate: he was neat and organized and since we already took many of the same classes and were studying together, it was a perfect match.

“The only problem I see is that we might fight over the same guys, girl,” Alex joked.

“You’re into pretty boys, but I’m not,” I said.

Alex laughed, “I saw photos of Jonathan and that is one preppy boy. Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, bitch. ”

I was convinced my second year was going to be incredible. That summer we signed a lease and moved out of the dorms into our own special digs.

Chapter Nine

Well, it wasn’t actually twelve years that passed until Jonathan came calling. In fact, he called me up during the summer to see if I’d be available. I knew it was a booty call, but I wanted to fuck him. I was spending the summer in Normal waitressing and he said he would come and visit me. I could handle a long distance “friends with benefits” arrangement, with our long-term insurance policy to get back together when we were 30, if we were still single. Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t call him and arrange rendezvous. He was the one with the money and could fly and visit me. He had the power.

I told Alex that Jonathan was going to visit and Alex gave me grief, “Girl, you gonna score tonight! Your friend with bennies is comin’ ova!”

We laughed and I got out a couple beers from the fridge as we kicked back on the couch. I looked over at Alex and I noticed that he was thinking.

“Seriously though, are you attached to him? I’m worried it’s going nowhere and you’re going to be hurt, girl...”

“Alex, I’m not attached to Jonathan. It’s really just physical. I figured it out this year we’ve had apart. I’m just not ready to share my life with anyone else.”

“I know, sweetie. You know I haven’t found my guy, either,” Alex said.

I leaned into him and we hugged.

“We’re both going to find what we need one day,” I said.

We toasted each other.

“Yep, we’re going to find what we deserve. I’m telling you, we both deserve someone who is hot, not a hot mess!” Alex laughed.

Chapter Ten

Jonathan flew into Normal just once that summer while I was waitressing for some spare cash. He rented an Audi for the weekend so I didn’t even have to pick him up at the airport. He came to the restaurant to pick me up and take me away.