Teaching the Earl (5 page)

"By this time next week, we'll be married. It doesn't seem quite real."
She looked up at him, but he only smiled absently and said nothing. There were times when his body was right next to her, but his mind was a thousand miles distant.

"How do you feel about it? Lord
Carhampton?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Our marriage. How do you feel about it?"

For a moment he stared down at her as if he did not understand the question.

She grinned at him. "I think you've forgotten. You have such a poetic air of distraction, I could easily imagine you composing sonnets in your head. Our marriage. Next week. Do you look forward to it?"

"Certainly.
Yes, of course."

"That's a relief. You are so
reserved, it is difficult to tell what you are thinking. I'm not used to such restraint. Mama said all noblemen must be so, to avoid raising false expectations. If that's so, you may relax with me. After all, you plan to satisfy my expectations, don't you?"

She meant to make him smile one of his small, real smiles, but he only said gravely, "I'll do my best."

It made her sigh and look at the ground again, at their feet strolling side by side over the graveled path. His shoes were well made, if a little worn, and so different in shape from her fashionable little half-boots. Every part of him was so different from every part of her, she found him fascinating. Not that men were such a mystery, for of course she knew Papa perfectly well, and her brothers. Still, Lord Carhampton was to be
her
man.

"I thought we would discuss dreadfully interesting things, now we are left alone. I imagined all sorts of flights of fancy and - oh, I don't know - perhaps things a man only says to his
fiancée. Mama is so far behind there is no chance she'll overhear, and there's no one else very close. You could say anything you wanted."

He halted, and reached out a gloved hand to clasp a rose leaning out onto the path. "Perhaps we should wait for your mother to catch up. We don't want to outstrip her too far."

"I think she intends we should know each other a little better, without interference. See. Now we have stopped, so has she."

Mama stood perhaps forty feet away, bent over to smell another rose,
then tilted her head back to look at the pale blue sky.

"She seems an understanding woman."

"Yes. And she wants us both to be happy. Though sometimes I think it’s she who is the happiest that we will marry."

"Not you?"

"Oh! Oh well of course, I also am very pleased about it. Yes. I didn’t mean I am not. Only that Mama is in transports. Every day she skips around with joy from the moment she wakes. And she stares at me like this," Elizabeth put two closed fists together side by side under her chin, hunched her shoulders, widened her eyes and trembled, a beatific smile on her face.

He laughed out loud. She relaxed, and glowed with the triumph of breaking him from his melancholy.

"You do that very well," he said.

"I have seen it so often. And I like to have brought them such pleasure. And you too, of course." She looked up at him shyly. "When you said I would make you the happiest of men, it gave me a little thrill just here." She laid a hand flat on her sternum. "I'd like to do that. I mean, I know it's just a phrase men use, but still I'd like it to be true."

His face changed then, falling back into its sorrowful lines, and he looked out over the fields of the park, then began to walk again, slowly. She fell in beside him.

He said in his low voice, "I wish it was all-I wish things could be so simple. They are complicated, in ways I can't explain."

"I am not stupid, you know. It's very likely I'd understand, if you told me what you meant."

"I can't. I don't have the right to tell you."

"You are very mysterious." She tilted her head to one side and examined his face. She still could not read it easily. He was a master at concealing his thoughts and feelings. It was disconcerting, when she had always lived with such an openly loving family. "Must I learn to be as you are? All dignified and solemn? It makes me afraid when I think I must. I have no skill for it, you see. Often I've been told I should think longer before I speak."

He eyed her thoughtfully. "You've never seemed unpleasantly forward. I think you may trust yourself. Though there is a certain restraint needed when managing staff-"

"Oh, of course I know how to do that. I've been taught by Mama for years, how to run a household smoothly. I trust you won't find me lacking. No, it's you I want to please. I don't want to give you disgust for me by being impolite or even crass."

"I hope you will not change. I think your girlish ingenuousness very engaging. Be exactly as you are, with me at least. As for everyone else, you will learn how to go on, in time. We'll have months together alone on the estate, for you to learn whatever you want."

He made her want to skip like her overjoyed Mama when he said he found her engaging. He did it in such a matter-of-fact way, he must assume she knew all his feelings. "So you'll teach me? I really do feel so ignorant."

"There's nothing complex to be learned. It's merely a matter of tone and attitude."

"I'm sure it seems very natural to you, since you were raised with it. I fear I'll miss some cue and embarrass us both.

"
Which is one of the reasons we'll stay in the countryside to begin. There you may discover these things at your own pace. Take as long as you need. There's no hurry to return to London."

"And you'll be there in Devon?"

"I'll be there, tending to the estate."

She imagined a comfortable manor house, with the two of them sitting talking by a roaring fire, or walking about the park, arm in arm. "Is the park very large?"

"It's a long time since I was there. From memory it is, and there is extensive pastureland as well. It's that which must be improved, and dragged into the nineteenth century."

"And you will oversee the task yourself?"

"It's the only way to be sure it's done right."

Now she imagined the two of them on horseback together, overlooking fields full of
laborers. No doubt she would know more about farming as time passed. She would learn from him, as his constant companion.

"I'll take you back to your Mama. I'm sure you have many engagements today."

"I can stay a little longer with you. Nothing is as important." She smiled up at him hopefully.

But his face was closed, as if he had already gone. "I have a great deal of business to take care of before we leave the City, and few days to do it."

He held out his arm to her, and she put a reluctant hand into the crook of his elbow and let herself be lead docilely back to Mama. There he bid them a polite farewell, they returned it, and as always she was proud of how carefully Mama judged how to act. Dignified, respectful, slightly deferential but not sycophantic.

Oh, it was difficult to have an earl in the family. He was a man apart, and one must be so careful to strike the right note and not repel him. How would she manage to be a kind and loving wife when he was so far above her, and needed
her so little?

"Well, darling? Did you enjoy that?" Mama asked when he was gone.

"Yes," said Elizabeth cautiously. "On the whole. I mean, it is very good to know him better. Gradually he says more of himself, or his plans-Our plans. But he is always so restrained."

"Does he speak of his love for you?"

"He said I am very engaging. We were talking about me behaving properly as a countess, and he said when I'm alone with him I should not change at all, but stay exactly as I am."

"Oh. Oh my dear. Oh, that is perfect. I feel so much better to hear that. I was so sure his speaking so quickly meant great affection on his part, but he has been so unavailable to meet often with us, and as you say, so restrained. I'm sure he is exactly as a young man should be, but it's my experience that a man moved by great passion is likely to be more of a rogue than your Lord
Carhampton."

"He is entirely proper," Elizabeth sighed.

"You needn't look so despondent, puss. One more week, and I'm sure you will find out much more about your straight-laced earl. Then you'll have all the excitement you could wish for. As for me, I thought I would have to fend off an amorous aristocrat and defend my precious treasure with all my wits until your wedding day."

"Defend me against what, Mama?"

"Oh. Well. That is, it hardly matters when the topic has not arisen between you. Once you are married you may ask your husband. I'm sure he'll be delighted to answer every question."

"What are you not telling me?"

"Now hush, or you'll put me to the blush. Let us walk and admire the roses some more, and talk of your wedding gown, which will have its final fitting this afternoon. I'm of a mind to shorten the sleeves by two inches, for I see that is the new fashion. What do you think?"

CHAPTER
SEVEN

The wedding ceremony was joyous. Such a beautiful dress she wore, and so very expensive, she felt like a princess in it, though it was very tight and the neckline lower than anything Mama had ever permitted before. Perhaps now she was virtually a countess, Mama thought it safe to verge on
risqué
. Elizabeth had not demurred when the
modiste
made the suggestions and Mama nodded her agreement. Now when she glanced down, the mounds of her own creamy flesh threatening to spill out made her long for some lace or a shawl.

Had Lord
Carhampton's eyes lingered there for a moment? She thought perhaps they had, and that made her glad she had a gown so womanly, no matter how exposed she felt.

He had played his part like a man in a dream, his gaze on the far horizon, and he seemed pale and
exhausted, the shadows under his eyes darker than ever. Now it would be her task to see he slept well and ate properly. She would take such good care of him, and fuss over him, and make him glad to have fallen in love with her. He would learn to need her.

As he said the ancient words, and she recited her own responses, she experienced a sense of pleasure, of rightness, and knew all would be well. Papa and Mama stood nearby and beamed, and even Mrs Alexander thawed sufficiently to give her a single, friendly smile and nod in satisfaction as Elizabeth spoke so decidedly to say that yes, she would
honor and obey. Perhaps she should have looked at Lord Carhampton rather than his mother at such a moment, but she had remembered her conversation with Katherine at the word 'obey' and it was difficult not to laugh out loud.

Lord
Carhampton was so dignified and solemn, it seemed impossible that now she must learn to call him Christopher as if he were a mere man. He was a fairytale figure come to life, hers now, but so very distant from it all.

Even here at the wedding breakfast, with all the noisy cheer of her family spilling over and about him like the froth of a wave, still he was miles away, deep and cool as the ocean. She wished he would look up and smile at her, or take the hand she had laid temptingly near his on the starched linen of the tablecloth. Her skin still tingled with the memory of his gloved hands against her bare flesh as he slid the wedding ring onto her finger.

Still, this marriage had made all her family so happy it was impossible to feel wistful because her groom was withdrawn. There was enough jollity at the table to make up for it, and she was the queen of the day. All looked to her, and admired her, and even Alice seemed faintly awed.

Soon would come the moment when the meal was finished, the toasts made, and it would be time for Lord
Carhampton - Christopher - to remove her once and for all from her parents' home to his own. Not to the London house, he had decreed, but immediately on the road to his estate. He must be very eager to have her to himself, to cut short his London season and rush away from the city. Mama had declared he wanted the privacy to come to know Elizabeth properly, and have her undivided attention.

"Bridegrooms can be peculiar creatures, my dear. They take odd fits and starts, and can be very possessive. Don't deny your new husband anything. Only smile at him and let him know he pleases you. Even if there is something a little painful, remember it soon passes and you have a lifetime to grow easy with each other, so don
’t be afraid. He may surprise you. Sometimes passionate natures hide behind propriety. Above all, remember you are to obey him in all things, and he shall take excellent care of you."

"Yes, Mama."

"Don’t hesitate to show off your womanly arts for him. Play him music and sing to him, read to him if he likes that. Make yourself a haven to which he may retreat at the end of the day. Learn what he enjoys - conversation or silence - and give him his preference."

"Yes, Mama."

"Defer to your new Mama-in-law, even though you outrank her. Show her proper respect for she knows much better than you how to go on. Write to us often and let us know every particular of your new life . . . except that which is private between you and your husband, of course-"

"Don't fret, so, Mama.
I think I’ll be able to figure it out."

"You'll be a credit to us all, I'm certain.
Such a good girl. Don't be too quick to poke fun at him, mind, for he may be sensitive until he learns your ways. Have a care for his pride-"

"Mama."
Elizabeth gave her mother a very patient look, and Mrs Cross nodded her head, the bright plumes of her headdress waving.

"I know. I know. I need not be anxious, I'm sure." She patted Elizabeth's hand, held between hers, gave it a squeeze, then put it back in Elizabeth's lap almost ceremoniously. "I find it is more difficult to relinquish a daughter than I had thought."

"Be brave," Elizabeth advised merrily.

Mrs Cross sighed and wiped her eyes. "Only you wait until it is your turn, saucy minx. You will find it hard, too. I remember how your grandmother shed floods of tears over me, and I was to live only one square away. Here you are going all the way to Devonshire."

"Hensleigh Park. Near Tiverton. I shall be Lady Carhampton, of Hensleigh Park. Lady Carhampton, Countess of Carhampton."

"You must not say it out loud that way in front of others, for you will sound very coarse."

"I know, Mama. It is only that it’s difficult to become accustomed."

Even now she felt the thrill of it, sitting at the table, feted, celebrated, toasted and blessed with good wishes. She was the Countess of
Carhampton. Lady Carhampton. Such a success.

Suddenly Lord
Carhampton stood, the scrape of chair legs on the polished floor shockingly abrupt. All heads turned to him, and quiet fell. Eyebrows were raised expectantly in anticipation of a speech.

"You will excuse us. It’
s time we departed." He nodded briskly at the table without precisely meeting anyone's eyes, then turned to Elizabeth. "Miss-Lady Carhampton?" He did not wait for her response, but went to the back of her chair and pulled it out for her, and she rose in hasty obedience.

"Yes, my lord," she murmured, and looked up at him, searching for guidance. Did he mean this very second? Could she bid her family farewell?

But he turned away and strode to the door, and went out without even waiting for her. She felt the stir of the diners at such rudeness, and pivoted towards them, heat rising to her cheeks.

"So impatient," she said on a little laugh that fought to be steady. "It seems I have married a man very quick to action. He is right. It is good to begin our journey early, while the weather is so fine." She gestured at the window, and the cloudless blue sky beyond it. "We have so far to go today. I hope you enjoy the rest of your meal. Thank you for your good wishes. I trust you will all be faithful correspondents, as I shall enjoy your letters so much, and the news of how you go on in the city."

She could think of no more to say, and hoped she had smoothed the awkwardness. The breakfast guests nodded and smiled at her and Mama made a tiny, hidden shooing gesture. Before she could begin to cry she went out, laboring to keep her head high, her pace steady, and not break into a trot.

She could not hurry down the hallway either, for it was lined with footmen at each doorway, so she strode - more brisk than stately, to the front door. The butler stood by the open door.

"Goodbye, Marten," she said as he laid her pelisse over her shoulders.

"Goodbye, milady.
A safe journey to you." Milady. A shiver went down her neck at the unfamiliar term.

"I pray so," she said as she hurried down the steps, fumbling with the closure of the pelisse. Another footman held the carriage door open, but although she had expected her new husband to ride with her, she saw he was up on a tall bay horse, that tossed its head and jigged with impatience to be gone. For a moment she hesitated, wondering if she should say something to Lord
Carhampton, but before she found words he looked away, out at the street, and she fancied he felt the horse's mood as his own.

She climbed into the carriage and took a seat. It was an old and stately berlin that would have been expensive in her grandfather's day. Although it wore the Earl's coat of arms, the gilt paint was flaking from it, and the seats inside were worn and smelled of mice. As they lurched away she thought if the roads were very bad she would soon feel ill, and leaned over to crank open a window. It moved very stiffly, and finally stuck fast. She did not push it too hard in case she broke the crank.

"So, Lady Carhampton. It seems you are to travel in high style," she murmured. She did not know whether to laugh or cry so did neither, but only gazed out of the small window and blinked fast.