Tear Stained Beaches (7 page)

“You are lucky! We had a couple cancellations this weekend. I have a one bedroom cottage about two miles from the beach, and a two bedroom beach-front cottage just around the corner.”

I thought about waking up to the sound of the ocean. The peacefulness and serenity it would create. How great it would be to watch the sunset at night.

“I’ll take the beach front.”

“Great! Have a seat and I’ll get the paperwork.”

After signing a few papers and handing over payment, I was walking up the stairs to my temporary home. The cottage was tiny for a two bedroom. A small, round table took up the dining area to the right of the entrance, and a small, rectangular living area was to my left. Mint green walls accented the floral print furniture,
hmm, nice
. I walked past the kitchen into what appeared to be the master bedroom as it had an attached bathroom. Outside the large window above the bed I had a perfect view of the busy town. The sun may have begun to make its way toward the horizon, but this town was just waking up.

It has been a long day and I was exhausted, but I was surprised to realize I was hungry. It was time to see what food this town had to offer.

I hopped into the bathroom for a quick shower, dried my hair just enough so I didn’t look like a drowned rat when I put it up, and added a little color to my pale demeanor with a smidge of eye shadow, mascara and blush.

Before coming here, I frantically threw whatever I could grab into my suitcase in fear I might change my mind. Now I wasn’t sure what there was outfit-wise to choose from. Throwing a few shirts aside and finally deciding on a simple blue maxi halter-dress, I slipped on a pair of black flip flops and made my way onto the beach in search of the nearest restaurant I could find.

I walked for about half a mile before something caught my eye. My flip-flops slapped my heels with each step, spraying sand up the backs of my legs. I passed charming jewelry stores and souvenir shops until I came upon the undeniable smell of fresh seafood. I followed the aroma, and loud Caribbean music, to an open-air seafood and steakhouse—The Pier Shack. I tried to ignore the fact that I was alone, but was soon reminded by the extra-bubbly hostess who greeted me at the entrance.

“Are you waiting for anyone this evening?” She gave a barely-there smile when I shook my head. After picking up one menu, she walked me over to a two person table in the back. After quickly reading the specials of the day she asked if I wanted anything to drink.

“I’ll take a margarita on the rocks and a glass of ice water please.”

“Sounds great. Meghan, your waitress, will be over shortly.”

I opened my menu. I wasn’t in the mood for steak, but all of their seafood options made my stomach groan even louder than before. My hunger made everything on the menu look delicious—I couldn’t decide.

I was startled by the friendly welcome of my waitress. So engrossed in the menu I hadn’t seen her coming, drinks in hand. She was tall, way taller than me, not overly tan, but clearly it wasn’t her natural skin tone, and her pin-straight black hair was pulled back into a low bun that showed off her hazel eyes. She was very pretty. I would have guessed she was around my age, but no one can ever be too sure these days. With pen in hand she re-introduced herself and was ready and waiting for me to order.

              “What do you recommend? I asked

              “Tonight we have some great specials. The crab-stuffed flounder and ginger scallops are to die for. My favorite regular menu item is the Blackened Mahi Mahi over linguini in a cream sauce.”

              “They both are very enticing.” I glanced over the menu one last time. “I think I’ll try the crab-stuffed flounder.”

Pasta seemed too heavy for my sick stomach and the scallops came with a side of potatoes I could do without. It’s the one thing Chase always made fun of me for. Actually, I think it was the one thing everyone made fun of me for—my severe hatred for anything potatoes. Potato chips, french fries, you name it, if it was made with potato, I hated it!

I sipped on water while waiting for my meal. I didn’t want to have to deal with the consequences of downing tequila on an empty stomach. It wasn’t long before my slightly over-tanned waitress came back with my dinner.

“Are you from the Kettlewood Island area?” I asked, hoping to unearth a good way to spend my time here.

“Born and raised,” she laughed and went on to tell me how growing up she couldn’t wait to move to some big city like New York and land a corporate job. She had it all planned out, even a calendar counting down the days. “When it came down to it though, I just couldn’t leave the people I loved most. My whole family is here. Nine months of the year I teach high school English at the same school I graduated from. And summers I spend here, at The Pier Shack.”

“Any particular reason why you chose The Pier Shack? I mean it’s nice and all, but most teachers I know spend their time tutoring.”

“My grandfather opened The Pier Shack
almost 50 years ago. It’s been in the family ever since. My dad took it over when I was in college.” She paused and rolled her eyes. “He never hesitates to remind me that someday it’ll all be mine.”

“I take it you have a different plan?”

“I don’t really have any plan I guess. At the moment I just go with the flow. I love being a teacher, and I am all about family, so most likely I’ll end up doing what makes them happy.
How about you? What brings you to Kettlewood Island?”

              Caught off guard, I gave the vaguest answer I could think of and smiled. “I just needed a little
me
time.”

“I hear you on that. It’s always nice to get away every once in awhile and escape reality. I think that’s why I always love being here in the summer. I can break free of the pressures of my friends getting married, having kids and totally surpassing me on the “what’s expected” scale.”

I nodded. I knew exactly how she felt. Everyone around me was having kids, and before this whole mess I was starting to get that itch too. I knew Chase and I were financially stable, and settled enough, to start a family. We had even talked about it a few times over the last year. Now all of that was out the window. I didn’t know what the future held for the two of us, but I knew children weren’t going to be the main focus of it anytime soon.

              I extended my hand from the table and introduced myself. “I’m Haylie by the way.”

For the first time since this whole thing started, I didn’t feel so alone. We talked for a little while and Meghan gave me the tourist lowdown. She told me about the downtown area and its popularity for movie filming and pointed out a few museums I may want to check out. An older couple sitting at a booth across the way called for her and she bade me farewell as she rushed off to serve them.

When the food came, I ate like I hadn’t eaten in weeks. My fork couldn’t meet my mouth fast enough. I barely chewed each piece; almost choking a few times, stopping in between bites to sip on my margarita. The hunger I walked in with quickly changed to the need-to-unbutton-my-jeans feeling most people experience on Thanksgiving. I ate way more than I should’ve and was completely stuffed, but it was well worth it. I thanked Meghan for the helpful advice, gave her a generous tip for her southern hospitality, and headed to the beach for a walk.

The sun was just about to set over the water. I took off my flip-flops and walked along the edge of the sand where it met the waves of the ocean. It was funny; the entire drive to Kettlewood Island I hadn’t cried a single tear. I was angrier than anything. Angry about how someone could throw their marriage away and hurt someone they claimed to love. During dinner, I was so focused on getting food in my stomach, it blocked out most of the pain, but now, now it was quiet. People were coming out of their hotels and beach-houses for some nightly entertainment, but the noise was reduced to a murmur as the sound of the ocean drowned them out.

I didn’t notice the chill of the water as it grazed over my feet, as I was lost in the scenery. I stopped and watched as the sun met the ocean, and the sky burned with hues of red and orange. As the sun lowered into the ocean, and I breathed in the salty air, my vision blurred. My tears flowed freely, wetting my cheeks as the ocean had my feet. I hated myself for still loving him. After everything he’d done; how could I still love him? I stood there and stared, engraining the image into my mind until the sun just about disappeared from the horizon. It left just enough light to guide me home.

That sunset confirmed that even though I couldn’t see it now, all the hope in life was not gone. There was still beauty left in this world, and even if I had to crawl, and be dragged on my knees for a while before I had the strength to stand, I would stand again. That is what I was here for. To find out who I was, what I wanted out of life, and what it would take for me to get there. I needed to understand what was happening to me, to my marriage, and whether or not it was worth fighting for.

I slipped out of my maxi dress and threw it onto the nightstand. I clipped my hair back and got ready for bed while wearing only the lace bra and underwear that was underneath. It had been my routine since I first moved in with Chase. I loved the way he looked at me when I was half naked. It made me feel sexy; wanted.

I traded my bra for my pink and black babydoll chemise and grabbed my phone from the front pocket of my suitcase. I had three missed calls, and two texts, from Chase. I ignored the voicemails, but read the texts. They sounded frantic, truly worried about where I had gone. If I hadn’t known what he’d been up to the last few months I would’ve believed his concern, but I wasn’t going to give in. If he really cared that I was gone, I wanted to let him sweat it out, show him what it’s like to feel the angst I’d been feeling. I put the phone on silent, curled up under the comforter and closed my eyes. Thanks to the margarita I had no trouble falling sleep that night.

Chapter 14

I slept in later than I usually did. It was my body’s way of telling me I needed to relax and that is just what I had intended to do. Already in the mid 80s when I stepped out onto the balcony, it was the perfect day to lie on the beach. I closed my eyes and felt the sun upon my face. My hair blew off my shoulders and I could hear the faint sounds of seagulls, the ocean waves, and the squeals of children already out building their sandcastles.
It’s going to be a good day,
I tried to convince myself.

When I dug into my suit case for my bathing suit I saw the blue light flashing on my phone. I was sure it was Chase, texting again, pleading for me to come home, or at least call him and tell him what was going on.  Bathing suit in one hand, I grabbed my phone with the other and saw that it was Katie.
Chase came here looking for you. I didn’t know what to say. Are you ok?
I texted her back with
Yes, I’m fine. Please don’t worry,
and slipped into my two-piece black bikini. I grabbed my beach bag and let the smell of hazelnut and mocha from the village coffee shop lure me outside.

The cute little coffee shop sat just up the street from my cottage. People were seated out front either reading the morning paper or chatting amongst themselves. The smell of fresh coffee grinds is heavenly first thing in the morning. As I grazed through the choices on the wall, I heard a familiar voice from behind.

“Making yourself at home I see.” It was Meghan, a far cry from her black on black ensemble last night. The navy blue, one-piece suit, with side cutouts, was covered on the bottom by a shear black wrap.

“I’m trying. Love your bathing suit. Your boss gave you the day off.” I said with a wink.

“Ha. The morning at least. Don’t have to go in until four today. That leaves plenty of time to work on my tan. Much needed as you can tell.” She drew her hands from her head to her toes, showing off the obvious tan she already had. “Want to join me? I know the best spots on the beach. Unless you’d rather be alone?”

“No, that’d be great. Getting away was what I came here for, being alone just happened to come with the territory.” I accepted her invitation, collected my frozen mocha, and we were on our way.

After laying there for a while in silence, Meghan gently tried to figure out what I was doing on Kettlewood Island. “I completely understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but I do see you’re wearing a wedding ring, and your husband is nowhere to be found. I’m a pretty good listener, so if you need an outsider’s advice or just someone to vent to.” Her voice trailed off.

I was shocked at how easy it was to tell her about my situation. I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone close to me, but here I was, sharing intimate details about my life with a complete stranger. I’m not sure why, but I truly felt I could trust Meghan, and that she genuinely wanted to hear my story.

“I think my husband is having an affair. He doesn’t know what I know yet. Before I tell him I want to figure out what exactly I’m going to say and what I want to do about it.”

“That’s awful, I’m so sorry.” She crinkled her nose. “I just don’t understand men. You can’t trust any of them. This is why I’m never getting married. Ring or no ring, they’re all the same.”

“I take it you’re single?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t consider myself in a relationship, but I’ve been seeing someone. It’s been consistent for some time now, but my track record with men isn’t pretty, so I’m playing it cautious; you know, taking things slow.”

She told me they met at The Pier Shack. She had offered to show him around as he was new in town, and they’d been hanging out ever since. She went on to talk about how his job kept him on the road a lot, which she liked because it took the pressure off their relationship. 

I didn’t go into detail about what I had found to incriminate Chase, nor did I ever speak his name. I guess there just some things I wasn’t ready to say. I told her how we had drifted apart, and he’s felt a lot of pressure trying to make partner, and it’s been tough for me to fit into the neighborhood, as the women were all so different to me.

“Don’t you do that,” she blurted out. I looked at her. She could tell I was confused. “Don’t you try to justify what he’s done.  This is on him, not you.”