Tearing Down Walls (Love Under Construction Series Book 2) (46 page)

It wasn’t hard to find the right key. Laura walked through the quiet house, turning on lamps and opening blinds and curtains. The house was spotless. When she got to the kitchen, she found a note.

Mr. Vic,

You need window cleaner and more stretchy gloves for wearing when I clean. I threw out the vegetables. They were bad. You forgot my check, but I’ll get it next time. Thank you.

Anna

She drifted into the bedroom and looked around. Then she looked into the hamper in the bathroom, and she was disappointed. Whoever Anna was, she’d done the laundry. Laura had hoped that she’d find one of Vic’s shirts in there. She wanted to be able to take in his scent, feel him close to her, and wait; wait for him to call her like she’d asked in the note. She tried to remember what she’d written.

Dear Vic,

I’ve dreaded this moment. When you asked me if all the secrets were out, I lied. I have one more, and I wanted to write it here so that you wouldn’t be looking at me when you found out. I know you’ll hate me. You’ll be disgusted by me. But I can’t keep it from you anymore. You saved my life and you have a right to know.

When Wagner and those men did what they did, it was awful. But worse than that was something that I haven’t been able to tell you. I liked it. I’ve been so ashamed for so long that I’ve tried not to think about it, but I can’t anymore. It’s eating at me and making me sick, making me hollow on the inside, and I hate who I am. He touched me in a way that I guess I must’ve liked because it made me have a you-know-what. And I know that disgusts you. It disgusts me. I’m a disgusting person and I hate myself so much. So I’m sorry. I should’ve told you a long time ago. Maybe you wouldn’t have bothered to help me, and you wouldn’t be hurt now. So it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry.

I know you won’t want anything else to do with me when you read this. But I hope you can find a way to still care something for me. If you think that someday you can forgive me and not be disgusted with me, please call me. Please.

I’m so sorry. I really, really am. If you never want to see me again, I’ll miss you. If that happens, I hope when we run into each other you can at least be kind to me, even though I won’t deserve it.

Love,

Laura

Thinking about the letter made Laura feel sick, but it made her feel even sicker that he hadn’t called her yet. What if he didn’t? What if that was just too much for him? She knew what he’d said to her, that he’d always be there, but that was before he knew. She touched her pocket – her phone was still there, but it hadn’t rung or vibrated.

She leaned over the bed, but damn if the cleaning lady hadn’t changed the sheets too. She sniffed, but there was no trace of Vic there, just laundry detergent. If she could just find something, anything, that smelled like him, she’d feel so much better. She checked his closet, but everything there was clean and perfectly in order.

Then she thought of something. She looked in the foyer coat closet and found his leather jacket. She’d seen him in it over and over, and when she took it out and sniffed hard, there it was – Vic. The salt air and pine smell was what she was looking for, and she took it off the hanger and made her way back down the hallway.

When she got to Vic’s bedroom, Laura put the jacket on, then climbed into the bed and pulled the covers up to her neck. For the first time since his finger had touched her face in the warehouse, a tear slipped down Laura’s cheek and came to rest on Vic’s pillow. That was where she’d wait, in Vic’s bed, a place she was sure she’d never be again. And she decided if he didn’t call by morning, she’d just get a cab and go to the club until Steve could take her home to Louisville. It would be over, and she’d never get a chance to say those three words to him.

“Steve, do you know where Laura is?” Tony asked when Steve answered the phone at the club.

“No. Isn’t she at the hospital with Vic?”

“No. We’ve got to find her. Do you know anywhere she might go?”

Steve thought for a minute. “In Lexington, no. She doesn’t have anybody here. Just the club, and she’s not here.

Tony snarled, “She left Vic a ‘dear John’ letter.”

“Oh, shit. I guess he’s furious.”

“No. He’s completely defeated. I’ve never seen him so down. He wants to see her, talk to her face to face. He thinks she owes him that, and I agree,” Tony told Steve as Nikki walked up to his elbow.

“She’s not answering her phone, I guess?”

“No. Not for us anyway. Vic’s phone must be in the car. It’s not with him, wasn’t when they brought him to the hospital, or I’d try calling her from it.”

“Let me get Peyton and José on this, see what they can do. In the meantime, try to think of anywhere she might go. I guess any hotel is fair game.”

“Thanks. Call if you find her. Talk to you soon.” Tony hit END and turned to Nikki. “Nope. He doesn’t know anything. Think: Where would she go?”

Nikki’s eyes snapped up to Tony. “Molly’s, of course. She might’ve gone over there. And she left about the same time Molly did. Maybe Laura rode home with her.” Nikki pulled up Molly’s number.

“Hey, Nik! Vic’s okay, right?” Molly answered, concern edging her voice.

“Yeah, he’s fine. Sort of. Listen, do you know where Laura is? Is she with you?”

“No, she’s not with me,” Molly answered, but something in her voice made Nikki curious.

“But do you know where she is?”

“I, um, I might,” Molly stammered. “But it’s supposed to be a surprise.”

“Oh, there’s already been a surprise. We need to find her – right now.” Tony could feel Nikki’s impatience with the conversation.

“She’s at his house. I took her to pick up his car and she was going to drive it over there. I hope that was okay,” Molly half answered, half questioned.

“It’s fine. I just need to find her, that’s all. You didn’t do anything wrong. And thanks. We’ll talk soon,” Nikki said, hitting END. “She’s at Vic’s,” she told Tony. “I’ll call Steve, tell him we think we’ve found her, and you drive.”

“You do have a key, right?” Nikki asked Tony. He held up a key and smiled. The Mustang was in the driveway; Laura was there unless she’d gotten a ride somewhere.

Most of the lights in the house were on, and they nodded to each other in silence. Tony checked the kitchen and den, but Nikki walked on down the hallway. In the quiet bedroom she found Laura, sound asleep, wrapped in Vic’s jacket and burrowed down in his bed. Tony found Nikki there, watching Laura, and motioned for her to go in.

Nikki dropped to her knees at the side of the bed and whispered, “Laura, honey, wake up.” Laura’s eyes opened just a little, and she frowned. “Laura, you need to come back to the hospital with us.”

“I can’t.” She shook her head, and she looked so sad that Nikki’s heart ached for her.

“You can and you will,” Tony told her, and Laura looked up to see him frowning down at her. “You leave him a ‘dear John’ and walk out the door? Uh-uh, no. You’re going to come back to the hospital and tell him face to face. You owe him that.” Tony’s voice was forceful, his dark features clouded over.

Laura sat bolt upright, looking horrified. “It wasn’t a ‘dear John!’ And I asked him to call me, and he didn’t. So I guess he doesn’t want to be around me anymore.” Nikki took a good look at her, then turned pleading eyes toward Tony. Laura was devastated, and Nikki decided there was a very good possibility that Vic should’ve read that letter instead of tearing it up. She put her hand on Laura’s arm.

“Honey, he tore it up. He thought you’d decided you didn’t want to have anything to do with him.”

“Oh, god, no!” Laura shrieked. “No-no-no, I had something to tell him, something awful, and I couldn’t tell him to his face. So I wrote it in the letter. I was afraid he’d never want to see me again when he found out,” she cried out, and Nikki tried to calm her.

Tony took a gentle tone with her. “Laura, Vic’s not like that. He’ll always hear you out, and he’s not one to pass judgment. You don’t have enough faith in him, honey. He’d never do that to you.”

Laura sat up, her eyes wide with fear. “I’ve got to go to the hospital. Right now. I’ve got to tell him. It can’t wait anymore.” She turned to Tony. “I hope you’re right. But I’m betting you’re wrong. This is so bad that no one – no one – would be able to forgive me. I’m walking straight into the worst thing that’s ever happened to me in my life.” With that, she got up, dropped Vic’s jacket on the floor, and headed for the front door, Tony and Nikki right behind her.

“W
ell?” Vic was sitting up in the hospital bed, trying like hell to find something worth watching on the horrible TV in his room.

Tony closed the door. “You know what they say happens when you assume something. You messed up. You should’ve read that letter.”

“Why?”

“Because she told you something in the letter that she was terrified to tell you. And she asked you to call her. But you didn’t know that,” Tony frowned, “because you tore it up instead of reading it.”

“So you found her?”

“Yeah. At your house. In your bed. Wearing your jacket. I think she wanted to feel close to you but she didn’t know how.” The sad look on Tony’s face said it all; Vic was instantly sorry he’d jumped to the worst possible conclusion. Then Tony opened the door, stepped out into the hallway, and Laura stepped in.

“Close the door,” Vic told her, and it clicked shut. “Pull up that chair and sit down.” Laura pulled the chair to his bedside, eyes on the floor. “Now, would you like to tell me what was so horrible that you’d put me through that?”

“You kind of put yourself through it by not reading what I’d written. And you’ve made things a lot harder for me,” Laura said, still not looking up.

Vic reached out for her hand, but she drew back, and pain shot through his chest just watching her suffer. “I’m sorry for that. I guess with everything I’ve been through, I wasn’t being very optimistic, and that’s not like me. But that’s no excuse. I really am sorry.” His tone was tender and gentle. “Baby, look at me.” Laura kept looking at the floor. “Really. I mean it. Eyes up here,” he said with more forcefulness, and Laura lifted fearful eyes.

Vic was struck by the abject terror on her face. She seemed scared to death to even look at him, and she was shaking again. “So let me tell you now,” he said, “that there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, that you could tell me that’ll make me send you away. Hear me? Now, out with it. What is this huge thing that’s so terrible?”

“Remember when you said all the secrets were out and I agreed?” Vic nodded. “Well, I lied. I had one. And I didn’t tell you. And I’m sorry. But I couldn’t. I’m too ashamed.” She looked so pitiful that it scared Vic a little.

“Nothing’s that bad, sweetie. Try me. Have a little faith in me.”

“That’s what Tony said.”

“He’s a very smart man. You should listen to him.” His gaze was warm and sweet. “Now, let’s get this over with. What’s so horrible?”

He watched the pretty brunette shrink even more as she said, “It happened when they, well, you know . . .”

“When they raped you? Laura, you’ve got to learn to say the words. They’ll set you free. You said ‘it.’ What happened? Were you pregnant?”

“God no!” Laura’s eyes widened. “Oh, that would’ve been . . . I don’t think I could’ve lived through that.”

“Then what?”

She didn’t know quite how to tell him. “When they . . . Wagner went first, then they all took turns. Then he did it again. And when he was done, he . . .”

Vic waited. She was shaking so hard that he was afraid she’d fall out of the chair. “Tell me, honey. Please. Whatever this is, it’s hurting you. I don’t want you to hurt anymore.”

When Laura looked at Vic, the pain on his face was enough, enough to push her forward, make her want to tell him, to make him at least stop hurting for her. “When he was done, he . . . he touched my . . . and I liked it.”

Vic got an odd look on his face. “Liked what?”

She tried again. “He was touching my . . . you know.”

Vic shook his head. “No, I don’t. Laura, use the words. Say it. You’ve got to say it. I don’t know what you mean.”