Tears of Blood (12 page)

Lucien faltered a bit.

"What?" she asked him.

"Doesn’t it feel... I don’t know...awkward to talk
about sex that way?"

"No," Sarahi replied, genuinely puzzled by his response.
"No more than you would feel awkward talking about what you had for
dinner last night."

Lucien pondered for a moment. "Why is it," he said,
"that Josiah lives on food like a human, or a naphil. Why doesn’t
he need to be fed your way?"

"I suppose because he’s more a potential incubus than a
true one. Besides, he’s only one quarter demon. It’s not a strong
part of his nature. He’s more human than anything else. Are you sure he
doesn’t, though? But there is a lot more to this than even what I said in
the meeting."

"What, love?"

"He has all the powers of a succubus, but in male form. He can
enhance lust in women. That means, if he isn’t careful, he could become
quite a seducer. Even a predator. Maybe it’s good such a repressed group
raised him. If he doesn’t imprint properly to a good girl, he’ll
become a monster in his own right. In Mother’s hands..." Sarahi
shuddered. "Mr. Smith needs to get over hanging on to his granddaughter.
All our lives might just depend on it."

"I know, love, but I don’t know how to fix it. He’s a
good leader, but where Annie’s concerned, he’s just not
rational."

They had arrived at the storage room by this time, and Sarahi entered,
Lucien close behind her. It was a long rectangular room filled with cast-off
clothing. Each wall had a bar installed at shoulder height and one at hip
level. Two rows of silver racks stretched the entire length of the room. In the
compound, nothing went to waste. Just inside the door was a basket of clothing
too worn out to be handed down, ready to be converted into rags and patches.
Overhead, a single low-watt bulb provided only the dimmest illumination, just
enough for her to find the white dresses. They were all the same; long and
shapeless, and she held one up to her front.

"Do I really have to wear this?" She made a face.

"When in Rome," Lucien replied.

"Oh, oh, I know how that goes!" Sarahi chirped. "When
in Rome... kiss an angel!"

"Does that go for storage closets as well?" he asked

"As far as I’m concerned, there’s no wrong
place." She walked into his arms. Just as she had expected, he crushed
her in a tight hug.

"Jonas is right about one thing," he murmured against her
lips.

"He was right about a great many things. Which one do you
mean?"

"Times are uncertain. We have to be close to the ones we
love."

"We do," Sarahi replied. "Starting right here, right
now."

He pushed her through a forest of hanging garments up against the wall
and kissed her breathless.

If anyone had been outside the closet when the two emerged, they would
have noticed how unusually red Sarahi’s lips were, how pink her cheeks.
They would also have noticed her towering half-angel walking with a decidedly
uncomfortable gait.

As they reached the main entrance, which was situated where the two
perpendicular hallways met, there was a loud shouting. A crowd of young men ran
into the room and pounded down the adjoining hallway to where most of the
bedrooms were located. It appeared the clerics-in-training had returned. Sarahi
was unable to pick her son from the herd of youths. Behind them, a
tired-looking naphil dragged himself through the door and slammed it shut.

"By all the light of Heaven, I would rather face a nest of
succubae than babysit those young fools!" he said to no one in particular.
"All they think about is glory and adventure."

"Can't you remember being that young, Phillip?"

"Lucien! You’re back! No, I was never that young."

"No?" she could hear the amusement in his voice. "So
I never had to pull you out of a nest of reveling Japhethites and
succubae?"

"Of course not," Phillip said, flashing his gleaming teeth.
"So what’s been happening around here?"

"Amazing things. You’ll never believe it."

"Well, spill. I want to get a spot in the shower before those
wild beasts use up all the hot water."

"They’ve rescinded the vow of chastity for nephilim!"
Lucien exclaimed. "We will be expected to live by the same rules as any
other cleric. I..." he stopped, then pressed on. "I’m getting
married this afternoon."

At last it appeared the naphil noticed Sarahi. He focused his gaze on
her and blinked.

"Hello," she said. "I’m Josiah’s
mother."

He blinked some more. "Congratulations," he said. And then
he staggered off down the hallway in an obvious state of shock.

"Love, which bedroom is Josiah’s?" Sarahi asked.
"I need to see my son."

"Come on," he told her, leading her down the hall and
opening the door of one of the dormitories.

"This is the room Josiah shares with three other young
men."

Sarahi looked at the four identical beds. Her hands began to tremble.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "Go get ready."

He nodded and kissed her once, softly, before leaving the room and
shutting the door.

Sarahi sat down on the bed and waited.

***

Josiah walked down the hallway towards his bedroom, pulling a sweater
over his head as he went. Fighting had been exciting, and disturbing, and
exhausting. Now all he wanted to do was take a quick nap. The other boys had
galumphed off to the kitchen in search of snacks, but Josiah wasn’t particularly
hungry. As always, his thoughts turned to Annie. He wondered if she liked
teaching the little ones, if she was happy with her studies. If anyone had
caught her interest.
If she ever thinks about me.
He still didn’t
understand what had happened that day in the meadow. The event had never been
repeated. But when he had seen a real live succubus for last week, something
inside him had responded to her in ways he had not expected. She was beautiful.
Of course she was. But it was more than that. She had a magnetic pull. It had
resonated through him like a chime, or a gong.

Josiah shook his head. If Father was finally home, he’d ask about
it later. The other boys had denied feeling it, so maybe it was a naphil thing.
He opened the door and blinked in surprise.

A beautiful woman with long red hair was sitting on his bed. On seeing
him, she rose to her feet, tiny and graceful, and walked across the room until
she stood directly in front of him.

"Josiah," she said.

"Do I know you, ma’am?" he asked.

Don’t you?
The voice sounded in his head. He tilted his head and
looked at her again. He was quite sure he’d never seen her before, and
yet she seemed... familiar.

He closed his eyes and a fragrance wafted over him. Again, he could
almost swear he’d smelled it before; like cactus flowers, night blooming
jasmine, and something else less easily defined.

"Rose," he said without thought, and then opened his eyes.

She was looking at him with a puzzled expression. "Where did that
come from?"

"I don’t know," he said. Something about you just
seems... pink. Enough games. Who are you and why are you in my room?" He
hadn’t meant to sound so gruff, but the presence of this woman was
causing the strangest sensations to well up inside him.

"Pink." She grinned. "That’s what your father
always said too. Josiah, my name is Sarahi. I’m your mother."

Mother?
Josiah closed his eyes again and reached out with those unknown senses
he seemed to have. Yes, that was the scent he recalled from his dreams, when
the pink, sparkling woman held him in her arms and whispered words of love and
encouragement which left him feeling renewed for hours or days afterward.

"Have you been in my head all this time, in my dreams?" he
asked.

"Yes, Josiah. I’ve never left you." She wrapped her
arms around him for a warm hug. In his dreams she’d been big, like a
mother with a child. But he was adult-sized, over six feet tall, and her petite
body felt child-like. He hugged her back.

She sniffled. "Can you ever forgive me, darling, for leaving you
all these years? I had to do it, but I hated it every day."

"I..." he started to give a neutral answer, but that
dream-scent washed over him again. It seemed to be coming from her hair. The
rational part of his mind told him it was just shampoo, but his overwrought,
exhausted nerves were finally overwhelmed by the power of her scent.

"Mom," he said, and his voice broke. He crushed her in
trembling arms and just tried not to break down completely.

His mother had no such reservations. She wept unabashedly in his
embrace. "Look at you, darling," she said, her voice a little
broken. "I’m so proud of you."

"For what, Mother? Growing up? I sure took my time about
it."

"You’re a unique creature, Josiah." Sarahi wiped her
eyes and met his gaze. "Who knows how one such as you should grow?"

"That’s what Father said," Josiah replied.

"And he was right, wasn’t he?"

Josiah made a face, but nodded.

"What?" she asked him. "Was he not a good
father?"

"He’s all right, I guess. But he thinks he knows
everything. And he never listens. Sometimes it makes me really mad."

"I bet," she said. "You know, I never had a father.
Not really a mother either. My sisters took care of me when I was little. It
seems to me that having a father, even one who doesn’t do everything
perfectly, is still better than no father at all."

She was right, Josiah knew it. But he didn’t want to admit it
yet. He gave his mother one last squeeze and stepped back.

"I’m really glad you’re here, Mom. I’ve wanted
to meet you. I have so many things I want to know about you, about where I came
from and who you are and... everything."
About what could be so
dangerous that you had to be separated from your child for two decades, to
start with!
"But it’s a little... overwhelming right now. Would
it be okay... could I have some time to... to kind of take it all in? Figure
out how I feel?"

The woman blinked. "Yes, of course, Josiah. I’m not
surprised you need a moment’s peace. When you’re ready, let me know
and I will answer any question you have.  I have something I have to do
right now, but come and find me when you’re ready and we’ll talk,
okay?" She pulled him down and kissed his cheek. "I love you,
Josiah."

She smiled, the kind of smile which warmed hearts whether they wanted
it or not, and turned to go, waving at him with two fingers as she walked out
of the room. Josiah sank heavily onto the bed. When he’d arrived,
he’d been exhausted, worn out, and grumpy. Now he was also confused.

***

Sarahi stepped into the hallway, shut the door and leaned against it.
Soon she would have to meet Lucien and Mr. Smith in the chapel. That would
be... amazing. But seeing Josiah was better. She could see he felt conflicted,
and no surprise. The child in him still felt the sting of abandonment, no
matter how necessary it had been. And of course, he didn’t really
understand yet why it had been so important. She wondered if he knew she was a
succubus. Likely not. That would be another revelation. He was so confused
already. She could feel a deep resentment and animosity radiating from him. Not
to her exactly, or at least not entirely. Her boy was disenchanted about a
great many things, if his level of rage was any indication. Part of it, she
supposed, was a young man’s angst. But just from what she had heard so
far, it was not entirely unjustified. Sounded like he’d faced systemic
prejudice in this place his whole life. And that was before they found out he
was one quarter demon. His loyalty to the Order of Clerics was far from secure.
He needed a strong tie to someone in this place or he could still be lost. And
neither she nor Lucien would be the one. Parents never were.

While she had been standing there, several people had passed in one
direction or the other, intent on various tasks. Some of the men had eyed her
curiously, making her smile. A few women had given her an ugly look, which
she’d ignored. But a passing figure made her wandering thoughts gel into
a sudden, radical decision.

"Annie?"

The white-clad person stopped and turned. Sarahi grinned. Her suspicion
had proven true. The clerics would hate her for what she was about to do, but
the stakes were too high for squeamishness.

"Sarahi, hi," the young woman behind the mask said, not
realizing she had just been outed.

"Take off that mask, please, Annie. I don’t like to talk to
people I can’t see."

The girl scanned the hallway and, finding it empty, lowered her face
covering.

"It’s so good to see you, darling," Sarahi said.

"You too. How are you adjusting to this place?"

"Well enough, I guess. I don’t think I’ll ever really
fit in here."