Tears of the Broken (48 page)

“
You
have no idea,” he said through a breathy laugh as the tension in
the room eased.

“
I
know you, David. I know you have a good heart, but, I mean, I’m
struggling to understand how you can be so loving, yet
so…dangerous. How…how do you live with the guilt? For killing
people.”

David laughed lightly. “I don’t. I have no choice but to stay
alive, but I hate myself for some of the things I’ve done. You just
find a way to do it without leaving too many scars on the world—or
your own heart. But there aren’t too many vampires that have
empathy for humans. It gets lost when we change. Mostly, you’re
just food to us.” As he shrugged, he flashed his lopsided smile at
me; I shuddered.

Food
? “Don’t ever use that term
around me again, David. I still care for humans, you know, since
I’m one of them.”

He
lowered his head. “I’m sorry, Ara—we’re just from different worlds,
you and I. I’ll be careful what I say around you, I promise.” He
looked into my eyes, his gaze guarded. “Assuming you still want to
see me.”

That
much I don’t know yet. More questions. “So, is that why you sneak
into my room?” He looked at my face as I spoke. “Is it some freaky
stalking-vampire thing?”

“
Kinda.” His lip pressed into the side of
his cheek. When I frowned at him, a little dismayed, he added, “You
have to understand…eternity is a very long time. To be away from
you for even a few minutes, it just feels like I’ve already lost
you—like you were just a dream. It
scares
me to be without you.” He
rubbed his flat palm over the left side of his chest. “I feel
physical pain, in here, when we’re not together. And when I’m
around you I feel peaceful—things don’t hurt as much, like you kind
of block out all the pain.”

“
I
think—” I smiled awkwardly, “I think I know what you
mean.”

“
For
me, when I’m with you—” David nodded, then continued, “I’m more
human than monster. More heart-and-soul than vacant-shadowy-night.”
He blinked softly and added, “Plus,” with a smile.

“
Plus what?”

“
Plus, I’m crazy in love with you.”

I
looked down to hide my wide grin and flushing cheeks.

“
It’s not enough for me just to love you, though,” he said. “I
need to be with you—to see you, to touch you—to be a part of you in
a way no one else in the world ever could.”

My
face fell into my hands and my head rocked from side to side as I
giggled quietly. Oh, my God. I’m in love with a vampire. A real
blood-sucking vampire. No wonder he ran when I asked him to bite
me.

“
Ara? Are…are you crying, ma jolie fille?” David’s hesitant
embrace fell around me, and the fear I felt before edged in the
centre of my stomach, while the weight of his arms on my body made
my heart beat faster. But I closed my eyes and focused on the
truth; this is David. Not some random murderer.

My
David.

I
looked up, and the vampire ran his fingers over the skin under my
cheekbone, forcing me to close my eyes with the tingle of his cool
touch—a touch that feels so normal to me now.

“
Are
you okay?” David asked, looking overly concerned.

“
Relax, David. I haven’t lost it…yet.”

“
Sorry.” He broke into a breathy laugh. “It’s just that…when a
guy tells a girl he’s a vampire, he doesn’t exactly expect to be
laughed at.”

“
Well, in my defence, I screamed first.”

He
stiffened. I know how much it hurt him when I screamed. But he’s a
vampire! It’s to be expected, right?

“
Yes,” he answered my thought again, “but it still
hurt.”

“
Well, would you expect anything
less
than fear, David?
You’re a dangerous creature. You’re not a
Cullen
,” I added, with a wry
smile.

He
laughed, loud and full. The sound warmed the room with its grace.
“I wish.” He rolled his head backward as the laugh dissipated to a
smile. “Great books, though.”

“
You
read them?”

“
Of
course.” He breathed out, still smiling as he added, “Wouldn’t life
be so much easier if it were really that way?”

“
No, because then you’d be icy-cold…and
pale. But I
like
your golden skin.”

“
I
know you do.” He nodded once. My cheeks flushed with
heat.

“
So,
you don’t, like, sparkle or anything, do you?” In all seriousness,
I think that’s a fair question. David glowered at me. I guess he
doesn’t share my resolve.

“
Ara. You’ve seen me in the sun,” he stated drily, raising one
brow. “Did I look like a lamp to you?”

Hmm,
I remember how lovely he looked in the sun, how he seemed to
glow—an incandescent beauty with perfectly formed muscles. His skin
was so soft and smooth, hairless, as far as I could see. But
although the memory is bright and golden—making me forget how dark
my room is getting—I’m pretty sure he didn’t have moths buzzing
around his head or anything. So, no, he didn’t look like a lamp.
But, boy would I love to take his shirt off right now just to be
sure it was all real.

A
tiny smile tugged the corners of David’s lips, changing his whole
expression.

“
Stop it!” I scolded, holding my index finger up to warn him
against his invasive, mind-reading behaviour. Will there ever be
any way to get used to him being constantly in my head?

David’s shoulders lifted with his short, breathy
laugh.

Obviously not.

“
Okay. So, myths aside.” I shuffled my position to make myself
more comfortable. Let the interrogation begin. “Why aren’t you cold
and blue and pale?” I rushed through the questions, suddenly very
curious. “Well, you’re a little pale—sometimes, and colder than
other guys.”

“
Hm,
well, technically everything you think you know is a myth. You see,
despite ancient storytelling, vampires are not actually dead.” He
sat down from his squatted position beside me, wrapped arms around
his knees and crossed his ankles in front of him. “And we’re not
undead, either—we’re actually alive.”

“
Really?”

“
Yeah.” He nodded. “That’s why we’re not blue and pale. You
know what else we’re not?” he hinted with a lopsided
grin.

“
Enlighten me,” I said playfully.

“
We’re not evil demons or weirdo’s with anaemia, but,” he held
a finger out, pointing to the roof, “we are in fact, colder—which
is where some of the stories come from, I guess.”

“
But…why are you cold if you’re alive?”

“
Why are
you
cold?” He grinned; I shrugged. “See, if we go for
long periods without…nourishment, we get colder and a little
pale.”

“
So,
you’re not so very different from me, then?” I grinned playfully.
“My hands are always cold and I turn into a monster when I’m
hungry.”

“
Ha!
Maybe you’re a vampire and you just don’t know it.” He pointed at
me, wearing a very cute, dimpled smile.

It’s
nice to laugh with him again. “There’s just one thing I’m curious
about, though. You said you’re not dead?”

He
nodded.

Everything David and I have ever done together, every moment
I’ve touched him since we met—I ran over in my mind. “I—I can’t
remember ever hearing a heart-beat. Do you have a
heart?”

David looked down, his lip creasing up into his dimple. “I
don’t have a heart-beat, because I don’t
need
my heart to beat. You see, the
energy—the life force that I draw from a human moves the blood
through my arteries. It’s very powerful. And I don’t need my heart
to pump the blood to my lungs to get oxygen in it, either, because
I don’t
make
the
blood. It comes to me with oxygen in it. See?” He held out his
forearm and rolled up his sleeve to reveal clear veins, slightly
protruding from his skin as if he were flexing the muscles in his
arm. “
Your
veins
carry blood to your heart to be sent off for oxygenation. Mine—” he
ran his finger over the vein in his arm, “—don’t contain blood.
They carry the remaining life force, the energy that makes me
immortal. The blood runs through the arteries, which are deeper.
That’s why my veins are clear.”

“
So…really? You don’t make your own blood?”

“
Nope. When the blood I drink runs out of oxygen and
nutrients, I simply drink more.”

“
Wow.” I stared at his arm.

“
But,” he added, rolling his sleeve back down, “I do still
have a heart.”

My
head bounced and my lips pressed together into a thin smile. “I
know.”

“
Then you know I love you? For eternity.” His hand flinched a
little—like he was going to reach for me, but thought better of
it.

“
I
know you do. The trouble is—I love you, too.”

“
Why
should that be a problem?”

“
Because you’re a vampire, David. You—” My words are lost.
What do I say? I’m not sure how I feel about you now that I know
you kill people? That’s kinda shallow, isn’t it? But, then, hang
on, he said eternity. Last I checked, I was human—humans aren’t
immortal. Did he mean he wants me to…

“
Only if you want to,” he said in a low, smooth voice. “I
would never change you against your will.”

“
David—” I started slowly.

“
Ara, please? You shouldn’t think about that just now. Not
until you’ve had time to come to terms with this.”

“
Okay.” I nodded and sat thinking for a moment. “So, how long
have you been a vampire?” It has to have been longer than I’ve
known him.

“
Since nineteen-thirteen.”

“
I
knew it! I knew you weren’t an eighteen-year-old boy.” I shook my
head in amazement. “It all makes so much sense now—especially how
you keep appearing at my side all the time.” After that thought,
came another, but a more carefully considered question this time,
“Are you…alone?”

He
shook his head. “I told you once that I lived with my uncle and
that I have a twin brother?”

I
nodded.

“
They’re the same as me.”

“
What about girlfriends? Have you ever had
one?” I probably don’t really want to know, especially if she went
out to dinner with him and ended up
becoming
the main
course.

David laughed again.

Did
I say that aloud? No, I’m sure I didn’t.

“
I’m
not that careless, but, yes, I have had girlfriends.”

“
Was
anyone special? I mean, you’re pretty old, right, so have you ever,
like, loved anyone?”

“
Loved?”

“
Yeah—like you love me.”

“
Like I love you?” He shook his head. “Never. But there were
two other girls I’ve loved in my existence. Neither of them worked
out.”

“
Why?”

His
eyes narrowed slightly. “Why do you want to know this?”

I
rolled my head to one side and scowled. “Same reason you wonder
about Mike—” I pointed at him, “And I know you do.”

David grinned.

“—
You wanna know who the competition is,” I finished, with a
shrug.

He
laughed once. “Okay. Fine. Well, let’s just say that for one of the
girls—it turned out that we were really too different, and…” he
took a breath and the smile dropped from his lips, “and the other
was…just not meant to be.”

“
Well, what happened to her?” I moved an inch closer, sensing
his obvious distress.

He
hesitated. “Perhaps this story is for another time.”

“
Is
that what happened two years ago?” I asked after dropping it for a
whole three seconds. “Is she the reason you missed so much
school—why you came to live here?”

“
Ara—” David moaned, “I don’t want to talk about
it.”

“
So,
you can tell me that you kill people, but you won’t talk about past
girlfriends?”

“
Ara. Stop it.”

“
Why? Why won’t you tell me?” Agitation wandered into my tone.
“Was she human, like me? Did you love her as much as you love
me?”

“
She’s gone!” David yelled, “Okay? Just drop it!”

My
heart jumped to the sound of his raised voice. He has never yelled
like that before. I sank back into myself. “I’m sorry,
David.”

“
Er!” he growled and placed his hands on his
head, letting out another loud sigh. “No, Ara,
I’m
sorry—” he took my hand and
looked deep into my eyes, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like
that. It’s just—they took her away. She was a vampire, and they
took her away.”

“
Why?”

“
Ara, please, I don’t want to talk about it.” Unable to look
at me, he studied the ground for a moment.