Tears of the Broken (55 page)

“
Who
would I kill?” I asked, sitting up from him, wiping my
face.

“
Who?”

“
Yeah, I mean, is it random, or do you choose
them?”

“
Well.” He grinned and picked an ant off the rug, then tossed
it onto the grass. “I usually avoid eating comedians as much as
possible.”

“
Why?” I asked slowly.

“
Because they taste funny.” His brows rose.

I
imagined a tumbleweed rolling past as I listened for crickets.
“That wasn’t funny.”

David shook his head and smiled. “Okay? Sorry.” He painted
his serious face on again. “Personally, I hunt at night—keep to the
shadows—places where good people don’t go. Then, I stalk them, see
if they’re worthy of existing, if not—” he shrugged to
finish.

“
But
you enjoy it? The…kill?”

“
Yes.”

My
body shuddered involuntarily. “But you
feel
for them after?”

“
Now
, I do. I never
used to feel remorse, though.”

“
So,
you weren’t lying when you said that yesterday—about the
guilt?”

David shook his head.

Hm,
I spent the last few months of my life truly believing I was
responsible for what happened to Mum and Harry. I can’t imagine if
I had to feel that for so many more, and worse, if it were purely
for the sake of my own nourishment. It would eat me up inside. It
must eat David up. “What changed? Why do you care now?” I
asked.

“
Because of
you
.” He smiled
sweetly.

“
Me?
Why?”

“
You
unlocked the human inside me. Vampires are nothing if not
compassionate, but when we fall in love with a human, that
compassion extends out to their species as well.”

“
So,
you feel sorry for your food, now?”

“
Something like that.”

“
How
often do you eat?”

“
Every couple of days. I can go for as long as five days, but
it gets very…uncomfortable.” He adjusted his position.

That’s not so bad. At least it’s not three-square meals a
day.

David chuckled lightly.

“
Are
you hungry now?” I asked.

“
No.
I would never be that irresponsible again. To be here alone with
you would be dangerous if I were deprived.”

Dangerous? I guess that never really occurred to me. Though
the thought crossed my mind that he could be a threat, it never
really sunk in—he
could
actually kill me. “But you said…just before, in
my backyard, that I never have to be afraid of you.”

“
Only because I will never
again
take risks with
you.”

“
So,
have you ever wanted to…feed from me?”

“
Yes.”

My
breath caught in my throat. I don’t know what I expected, really.
He is a vampire.

An
uneasy silence hovered around us. David’s lip twitched and one eye
narrowed ever so slightly, making my heart warm as I read the
uncertainty behind his gaze. Then, I burst out laughing. “You
should see the look on your face.” I slapped my knee and pointed at
him. “You’re not sure if you should’ve said that, are
you?”

The
sweet, familiar smile tugged at the corner of David’s lips for a
second, then, it broke into a broad, honest grin as he laughed
along with me.

“
So,
what is normal, now?” I wiped the tears of hilarity from my eyes,
still smiling. “I mean, what can I expect now the secret’s
out?”

“
Things,” he started slowly, seeming stuck for words, “will
not be so different. Just—that now I can jump through your window
when you’re awake.” He grinned, making my cheeks flush with heat.
“And I might show you a few cool tricks—things I wouldn’t do around
other humans.”

“
I’d like that.” I shuffled a little closer
to him and touched my fingers gently over the skin on his
arm—sliding them slowly down the satiny smoothness. He
is
real. He is David,
and I
love
him.

David sat motionless and silent for a moment, then, took a
breath. “I can give you more time, Ara. I love you, too, and if
time is all you need to change your mind—then I can give you
that.”

“
I’d
like that.” I nodded, dropping my hand from his skin. “The end of
the summer I’m sure about, but I’m not ready to say goodbye
forever—not just yet.” I flashed him a grin. “Maybe I’ll change my
mind about becoming a vampire once I’ve had some time to think
about it all.”

He
took my hand and, after another long pause, where he stared at our
intertwined fingers, I noticed a glistening droplet of clear liquid
on his cheek.

“
David, what’s wrong?” I reached out and caught the lukewarm
tear on my fingertip. “Why are you sad?”

His
grip tightened around my fingers and he placed his other hand on
top. “I was so afraid I’d lost you. You can’t know what I’ve been
through these past days, Ara. There is no way now to describe the
relief I feel that you know about me—and that you’re still here.”
He held up our hands, clasped together, and shook them once. “It’s
almost like…I am afraid I’ll wake up in a moment and none of this
will be real,
you
—” he touched my face, “won’t be real. If I had lost you—if
you had told me I was wrong about our love, that you can never love
me for what I am—I would’ve died inside. If I was human, I would
have committed suicide.”

My
eyes narrowed and my fist clenched with the boiling rage in the pit
of my stomach. “How dare you—even
think
like that?” I huffed and knelt
up in front of him. “Suicide? That’s a coward’s choice, David. I
don’t ever want to hear you say that again.”

“
Oh, look who’s talking.” He looked up at
me. “Do you really think I don’t hear
your
thoughts,
girl?”

My
mouth fell open. He’s obviously been listening to me a lot more
than I thought. “Those thoughts are private.”

“
Not
anymore.”

“
How
dare you.”

“
How dare
you
.” He rose to his knees, becoming
taller than me again. “You’re my soul-mate, Ara. I will not let you
have thoughts like that. Not ever. Clear?”

“
No.
Not clear. Those thoughts were private. They were images conjured
up in a moment of extreme heartache and loneliness, David—fleeting
thoughts—never intentions.”

“
So
you would never have acted on them?” he asked, looking down at
me.

“
God
no. Never. But you would. That’s the worst part about this. You
lecture me, but you—” I stabbed my fingertip into his chest. “You’d
take the first express to purgatory if it meant easing your own
heartache.”

“
If
it were possible for me to die—” he held back a smile,
“yes.”

“
No!” I shook my head. “You don’t get to say
that. No matter what happens, no matter what life throws at you,
you always have to keep going.
I
did.” I pressed my palm to my chest. “It hurt me
to keep going when Mum died, but what would
you
be doing if I just gave up when
I wanted to, when the pain got too much.”

“
Well, it won’t matter what happens to me in our case, because
if you stay human, you will never know, will you?”

“
No.
You can get through it—you can live—find happiness
again.”

He
shook his head decisively. “I won’t be the same man if I lose
you.”

“
No one stays the same, David. Everything
you are is as a direct result of something that’s affected you in
your past, whether it was horrible
or
wonderful—and no one has the
right to destroy themselves because they can’t deal with the pain,”
I said. “You have to
learn
from it. It’s not over—the good in your life—it’s
not over until you’re dead.”

He
smirked condescendingly. “Pretty passionate about this, aren’t
ya?”

“
It’s because I’ve been there. I almost crossed that bridge a
few times.”

He
swallowed hard, becoming suddenly very still. “Will you come to it
again when I leave?”

Maybe. “No.” I smiled. “And you won’t, either. Look, I know
you can’t die, but you have to promise me that no matter what—” I
took both of David’s hands in mine, “—promise me you’ll keep going,
and that you’ll try to make your life good again after I’m
gone.”

“
Do
you mean gone as in old-and-grey-dead, or gone as in
you’re-not-coming-with-me?”

“
Whichever happens.” I shrugged. “You have to be prepared for
it, David. What we have is so wonderful, it will always be
wonderful, but it might just be a wonderful memory.” I squeezed his
fingertips until he looked at me. “Promise me that if I choose to
stay human, you will love again—you will keep fighting for
happiness.”

David wrapped his wrists around my lower back and pulled me
closer. “I am
nothing
without you. I won’t promise to go on, because it would be a
lie.” He kissed my brow. “When you die, when you no longer exist, I
will give myself to the monster inside me, Ara. I won’t survive,”
he said, then smiled. “You will just have to promise me
forever.”

“
I want to. But today, I can only
promise
my
forever—not yours.”

He
exhaled heavily, then leaned back, and a mischievous grin lit his
eyes as he looked into mine. “I’ll make you see reason. I can be
very persuasive.”

“
And
I can be very stubborn.” I kissed his slightly stubbly
cheek.

“
And
that, mon amour, is one of the things I love about you.” He placed
his hand over my kiss. “But please, just don’t be too stubborn. I
only have until the last leaf turns red and falls from the last
tree. Then, I must go.”

“
Does…” I swallowed, feeling nerves pinch at my chest. “Does
it hurt to be changed?”

We
sat back down on the rug, and David pulled me into his chest as he
leaned on the rock. I rested against the hollow indent between his
ribs, listening to the quiet hum of his breathing. “Yes—it
does.”

There’s nothing more to say. A choice has to be made. We can
have the summer—it’s our only promise—but eternity will take more
consideration.

We
sat together in the tranquil serenity of the lake for a while.
Then, as my mind wandered over everything we just said, it stopped
on one particular inquisition. “Okay, so tell me?” I squinted
against the sun as I rolled my face up to look at him. “When
exactly did you want to feed from me?”

David laughed and stroked my hair. “It was right here on this
spot, actually. The second time we came to the lake. Do you
remember it?”

He
obviously doesn’t know how clearly I remember
everything
he and I have ever done
together. “When you should’ve kissed me.”

“
Yes. It was very stupid of me. Not just because I didn’t kiss
you when I had the chance, but because I hadn’t had blood in two
days. Which would’ve been fine if it weren’t for these—” he ran his
thumb along my lower lip; I closed my eyes, revelling in the tickly
sensation. “Then, to make matters worse, I had to contend with your
warm, velvet skin, your sweet smelling breath and this.” He placed
his hand on my chest, over my heart. “I nearly completely lost
control.”

“
Really?”

“
Yes, but, after that day, I now know what I’m capable of. I
need you in my life more than I need nourishment. I’m pretty sure
that—” he grinned warmly, “—kissing you shouldn’t be a problem,
now.”

“
I think I kinda knew.” I laid back against
his chest. “I mean, I knew there was
some
reason you wouldn’t kiss me,
but I just never imagined it was because you wanted to bite
me.”

He
smiled, and kissed my forehead.

“
Well,” I mused, “I suppose that’s the best excuse I’ve ever
had for a boy not wanting to kiss me.”

“
There’ve been others?” David asked, curiosity lifting his
tone.

“
No,
well, one—when I was about five. But that was because of
cooties.”

“
Hm,
yes, cooties. Horrible disease. Caught it once, myself,” he
joked.

“
Was
it from a girl?”

“
Well, it wasn’t from a cat, if that’s what you’re asking.”
David chuckled and pulled me tighter, kissing my forehead
again—like his lips couldn’t get enough of me.

We
sat still for a while, quietly listening to the sound of our own
thoughts—or maybe just mine. David and I can exist like this, in
perfect unity, where the silent whispers of our minds fill the warm
space around us.