Tell Me What Is Priceless (Siren Publishing Classic) (5 page)

“I’m sorry. Maybe I got off easy. At least I never reached the wedding stage. Do you miss him?”

“Sometimes. I mainly miss his presence. Nancy is not around that much, although she is a big help with the dogs. I know they miss David. I feel sorry for Choey. She is kind of dependent, and David adored her. I see her on occasion lying in the window, looking out wistfully as if she is waiting for him. It always brings tears to my eyes. Most of my grief has faded, and I suppose so has my guilt. My overall emotional state depends on what mood you catch me in.”

“I don’t know what to say. It sounds like you have emotionally been alone for a long time. Hey, do you want to see the inside of the house?” he asked, trying to lighten the suddenly solemn mood.

“No, I want to know what my surprise is.”

Zar reached into the bag and pulled out a golden box and set it on the table. He added a bar of cheese that had a fancy brown wrapper on it, and a box of crackers. Blaze sat impatiently watching him as he hesitated. “Put out your hands and close your eyes.”

Blaze did as he asked, and he dropped an object into her open palms. “You can look.” She opened her eyes and then turned her gaze to his face. He grinned at her expression of utter disbelief. “Well?”

“Zar, this is beautiful. What’s it for? We barely know each other.” Blaze lifted the pendant into the sunlight. The finely woven chain glinted with the fire of fine gold. The two panthers had brilliant red eyes and were linked by two twisted bands shimmering with pieces of red-and-black gemstones.

“You mentioned that you liked red and black. When I made that stop to drop off that disk earlier, I saw this. It is ruby and onyx. Did you know that by Cherokee lore, panthers are life guides? Anyway, the cats have diamonds in their eyes that are meant to see evil and ward it off. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes I think Angelica put a curse on me. Every time I start to like a woman she turns nasty on me. Maybe the amulet will keep the Angelica demons away. In all seriousness, the necklace struck me as something you would like. I wanted you to have it, and even if this is our only date, it’s yours to keep.”

Zar got up and took it from her, hanging it around her neck.

“Zar, this is a very expensive gift. I can’t accept something this extravagant from you.”

“Why not?”

“Because. This is a first date. I am unaccustomed to being showered with priceless gifts. Do you always do this?”

“No.” His hand trailed lazily down her hair before he sat back down. “I knew your hair would feel like silk. I’ve been dying to touch it all afternoon.”

“You’re changing the subject.”

Zar chuckled softly. “
You
are getting turned on by me running my fingers through your hair.”

“Now you are really changing the subject. I hope you know better than to think a necklace will get me into bed.”

“Of course not. It is a gift, not a bribe. I am tired of sitting. Do you want to see the inside of the house or go for a walk? There is a natural spring a ways up, and if you want, we can go swimming.”

“I’ve nothing to go swimming in.”

“Skin works well,” Zar said with a challenging smile.

“I can’t help but feel that I am caught in a great plan for you to seduce me.”

“If you want the honest truth, seducing you is an interesting idea. The plan for the day was to get to know you. I know you a lot better than I dreamed, and I now dream of seducing you.”

“Was that ever a sweet play on words? So how do you figure that you know me? You haven’t known me for all that long. You know very little about me.”

“I know more than you think. It’s standard practice with me to have a woman investigated. I made a call last night and had a printout on you this morning.”

“You had me investigated? That is horrid. Of course, I did the same thing. We are even.”

Zar’s tentative expression collapsed as he burst into laughter. “You had me investigated? That is funny. I suppose we both have good reason. Money makes for fickle friends and greedy dates.”

“I know. I guess that we both had things we weren’t telling.”

He offered his hand and pulled her off the seat. “Finish your wine. Now that the truth is out, I’ll show you the house and then we can go for a swim.”

Blaze finished up the glass and allowed him to lead her inside. The outer shell of a tiny log cabin was misleading, and she stood in awe. Against one wall was a huge entertainment center with dual computers. She turned to the right, looking at the open kitchen with the small redwood eating bar. Zar put his hands to her shoulders and turned her to the other side. The entire wall was a glassed-in living unit, with a tropical garden and brightly colored fish. He walked her forward, and she gasped at the living inhabitants of the tank. Zar turned her to the right and pushed open a door and walked her inside. “Wow,” Blaze said as she glanced around. “You have good taste in furniture. I have never seen such a highly polished, redwood bed. It is huge, and where did you get those intricate, twisted slats for the head and footboards?”

“I had them made. I saw them in a collectors’ catalog from a carpenter who does recreations for castles. I’ve gotten a lot of swords and wall accessories from him or through him. I, as you, like medieval items and toys. I also believe that you have an interest in playing games during lovemaking.”

Blaze spun, taking a step back to stare at him with sudden uneasiness. “Did your investigation tell you that?”

“No, your writing did. I read extremely fast, and I picked up things between the lines. I scanned through your books this morning. They get more graphic and sexually odd as the series progresses. It made me wonder how much was real and how much was written from wishful thinking.”

Her eyes dropped as she shrugged in almost an imperceptible movement. “Am I making you nervous again, Blaze?”

“Yes, I feel naked in front of you. Are you sure we met last night by accident?” Blaze had always been better at writing words in the privacy of her own home than talking about the sexual actions or living them out. If he had read her books, then Zar had good insight into her fantasies. It made Blaze feel extremely exposed. “If you think I’ve been stalking you, you’re wrong. I didn’t know who you were last night. As I said, your body language got my attention. If you want to read the report I got on you, you’re welcome to. It’s in my computer as well as your books. I wasn’t sure about the sexual games until I saw the way you reacted to my comment. Are you afraid to experience what you write about?”

“What I write about has gone over the edge into erotic imagination. Normal adults don’t do those things. They just sound good in print.”

“Ah, but what you write is seductive and interesting. Don’t you ever dream of having it come to life?”

Blaze walked past him, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in his bedroom. The fact that he aroused her was undeniable, but living out her fantasies with him was not part of her plan. Zar was intriguing, but he also had the potential to be dangerous by his sheer size. She had felt his strength when they were riding, and if he wanted her, Blaze had little doubt that he would get her.

The truth of her situation was that she was alone with him in the middle of nowhere, and fear was tapping at her brain like a woodpecker.
And you agreed to come here willingly, her mind reminded her as she walked to the tropical tank, looking into it.

Zar followed her with his eyes and then walked up behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders, making her jump. “I’m sorry. I’m taking liberties with my words, and it’s making you nervous. I find you very attractive, and I just freaked you out, didn’t I.”

A vibrant, blue fish with long tendrils hanging from its lower body swam close to the glass, and she watched it intently, unsure of how she wanted to reply. When the room slid into an uncomfortable silence, she turned to face him. “I think maybe that you have developed a false impression of who I am. I have a very intense imagination, but I am not my book character Amber. She is wild and free with her ideas. I am a forty-one-year-old woman who was raised by a highly religious mother. David was sweet, but not exactly sexually liberated. Some of what I write is inspired by dreams, and other things are inspired by porn. David had a thing for porn. There is something about you that I really like, but I fear you equally.”

“I’m the last person you should fear. I would never harm a woman or do anything to her without her express consent. I don’t take things for granted as fact because I want them to happen.” Zar ran his finger down her cheek, tracing a laugh line with his nail. Blaze couldn’t help but close her eyes, finding the touch very intense. Her body pulsed with a sensation that she had not felt in a long time. The words of her books always turned her on, but it was imagination. Her physical needs were another thing completely. Zar was real, and his touch inflamed her more than she was comfortable with. Blaze had the odd sensation that reality was slipping away from her.

“Tell me what you want, Blaze?”

“Are you going to show me the lake or not?”

They walked up to the spring in silence, both of them watching the wildlife and foliage. Zar had brought along a carry bag with towels and bottles of juice for them to drink. He tentatively took her hand, but she seemed distant, lost in her thoughts.

When they reached the water’s edge, he stopped her and looked into her eyes. “Blaze, why are you so quiet? I can only imagine what you are thinking. I am not a madman or a rapist. I want you, but I’m not going to force you into anything. We are both players in the game of judging words versus body language. I pushed it, and I am sorry if I scared you.”

“You have a good imagination about what I was thinking. The idea of rape did cross my mind. I keep asking myself what I’m doing. I have put myself in a situation where I am helpless and alone with you. I know almost nothing about you, except what a report told me. I am in a whirlwind of thoughts that spin between what I want and what is proper.”

“Who gives a shit about proper? I would never rape you, and you are not to become a barroom tale for me to share with my friends either.”

“That is another consideration. Not all of the books I write are for adults. I would lose my younger audience if their parents considered me a deviant.”

A furrow creased his brow. “How did we go from making love on a first date to being a deviant?”

“I was thinking about your questions about Amber.”

“Oh. I’ll let you in on a little secret. My imagination far surpasses anything I’ve done with a woman. I have to be careful also. If I’m telling others that we are being depraved in bed, then it means I’m doing it, too. If your reports on me are right, you know that I own a family-oriented construction business. I am not the type to brag about my sex life. To have one of my clients find out that I dream of chaining up my girlfriend and painting her might affect my reputation adversely. I also make video games for children. I can see parents finding odd sexual things where they don’t exist. My reputation is just as important as yours. Are you intimidated by me?”

“I suppose, maybe a little. You act far worldlier than me, even thought I am so much older than you. You also talk pretty, big boy,” she added with a smile, trying to offset the serious mood.

“Oh, we are back to the age thing, huh? Look, Blaze, I really like you, and I would be proud to have you by my side. You are pretty, funny, and you have a grace about you. I will probably get berated for being with a woman ten years older than me, but I don’t give a shit. What we do in bed is not for public knowledge. When you are ready, if there comes such a day, we start with things we agree on trying, and if you get freaked out, then we stop. I mentioned your books because there are just so many interesting ideas in them.”

“I don’t recall Margon ever chaining Amber up and painting her.”

“That is my fantasy, not yours. Why does talking about sex make you nervous?”

“I don’t know. I wish I were more like Nan. She is liberated. I’m not. I suppose it has a lot to do with my childhood, but I don’t think I want to go into that.”

“Was it that bad?”

“I don’t know. I have almost no memories as a child. I have information that leads me to believe that my mother beat me. Now she is a Holy Roller. I never knew my father.”

“That sucks. My father took off when I was six. My mother raised my sister, twin brother, and me. She passed away a few years ago. Do you want to stand here or go in the water?”

Blaze shrugged. “I was putting off the idea of stripping in front of you. Things that were once firm and smooth are saggy, lumpy, and yucky. I look better with my clothes on.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? If it makes you more comfortable, leave your bra and panties on. They will dry eventually. It just means you are trapped up here all the longer with me because you won’t have anything dry to put on.”

“You are very funny, but they won’t hide much.”

He turned his back to her and slipped off his pants, letting them fall. He wore boxers underneath, and she giggled at the small Harleys on them.

“Very cute.”

“Thank you. I am willing to take them off,” he replied without turning around.

Blaze stared at the muscles in his back and his legs, her mind suddenly relenting to the emotions that had been building in her all day. She liked him, and her body ached for a man’s touch. Blaze quickly slid off her shirt and jeans and then took a deep breath. “Go ahead.”