Tell Us Something True (4 page)

I didn't call out to them. I'm not totally sure why it bothered me that Maggie never mentioned they were all going to the show. They usually did things together while I spent my time with Penny. But now I'd lost Penny and it was starting to sink in that I'd lost my connection to my friends too. I'd ruined everything.

I watched them climb into Will's car—he'd scored the rock star spot out front because Will always had luck on his side—and I watched them drive away.

I sat back down on the bench in the bus stop. I had no idea if the bus that hadn't arrived yet would take me anywhere near where I lived, but I gave it another fifteen minutes and when it still hadn't come, I took out my phone and dialed my mom.

I'm not going to lie—I thought about calling Penny. After everything we'd been through together, how could she have left me sitting alone at a bus stop at the corner of La Cienega and Oakwood at ten o'clock at night? But I didn't call because I wanted her to think I was out somewhere having fun, out forgetting her, maybe even with another girl.

“Hi, honey.”

“Hi, Mom.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, um, I sorta need a ride.”

“Where's Penny?”

“Long story. Can you just come get me?”

“Of course.”

Mom's way of dealing with what I told her on the ride home was to make me pancakes for breakfast. The kind where she has to separate the eggs and beat the whites, not the kind from a mix.

“Oooo, homemade pancakes,” Leonard said. “What's the occasion?”

“It's okay, Leonard. You don't have to pretend you don't know. I know Mom told you, and I'm fine with that. In fact I'm fine all around.”

“Mom told Dad what?” Natalie asked.

I looked at her. She had Leonard's dark hair and the biggest brown eyes you've ever seen. No Nordic curse for this one. She was still in her striped pajamas with the feet. I envied her pajamas. It was so much simpler being eight.

“Well, the thing is, Nat,” I said, and I put my hand on hers. “Penny and I broke up.”

Her hand flew up to cover her mouth. “Oh no!” Quick as a flash her big eyes filled with tears. “No! No, no, no!”

“It's okay, kid. Really. I'm okay. See?” I took her hand back and put it on my forehead. “No fever.” I took her fingers and poked myself in the chest with them. “No pain.” I smiled at her, hoping I'd made it look genuine. “I'm shipshape.”

“But…Penny was so nice. Penny was so pretty.”

“Yes, Penny was both of those things. And she still is, actually.”

“Well, she's not nice if she broke up with you.”

“How do you know I didn't break up with her?”

She looked at me like I was an utter idiot. “Because you would never.”

“True.”

We ate our pancakes and I did the dishes and Natalie disappeared into her room. I had loads of homework to do—I'd let it pile up last week, getting extensions and basically treating myself like an invalid. Now the mountain in front of me seemed totally unscalable. All I wanted to do was to crawl back into bed, which I did. I slept for another two hours.

When I woke I forced myself to sit at my desk and open up my precalc textbook, but the numbers and symbols just swarmed in front of my eyes, unreadable as hieroglyphics. All my college applications were in, I'd earned my senior slide, but I couldn't flat-out ignore my homework.

A light knock that could only have been delivered by a hand as small as Natalie's.

“Come in.”

She slipped a folded piece of red construction paper underneath the door. I opened up her card. She'd used glitter, which got all over my hands and spilled out onto the floor.

Dear River Dean—

Would you like to go out to ice cream with me today? Check the yes box for yes. Or the no box for no.

Your sister,

Natalie Marks

That we had different last names, and different fathers, was a major obsession of Natalie's. It didn't matter how many times I told her I couldn't possibly adore her any more. That I felt happy for her that she had Leonard and not my narcissistic asshole as a father. Okay, so maybe I didn't say
narcissistic asshole,
I probably said something like
jerk.
Anyway, she'd always had a hard time accepting our family situation and begged me to change my name.

“Don't you like the sound of River Anthony Marks?” she'd ask.

“Sure, Nat. But I'm used to my name.”

“Why?” A favorite question of hers.

“Because it's who I am,” I'd say.

“I think you're more of a River Marks than a River Dean.”

Now we walked the extra distance to the new gourmet ice cream shop. Ice cream after pancakes seemed a little like overkill, but how could I turn down a glittery invitation, especially when it gave me such a good excuse to close my precalc textbook?

The vibe of the place was old-school soda fountain, and we took two stools at the counter, where a guy in a bow tie and paper hat took our order.

Natalie reached into the little purse she'd brought along.

“Are you planning on picking up the check today?”

“No way. I'm just getting out my notebook.”

“Why?”

“Because, silly, we have to take notes.”

“On what?”

“On how you can get Penny back.”

How much did I love this kid? Nobody else, not one other person in my life, held out any hope for Penny and me.

I thought for a minute. “I brought her soup,” I told Natalie. “Her favorite soup from her favorite deli. A whole quart of it. I have no idea if she ever drank it.”

“Girls don't like soup. They like pretty stuff.”

“I also bought her flowers.”

She took out her pencil and wrote
flowers
in her notebook and then put a little box and a check next to it.

“Flowers. That's much better.” She tapped the pencil to her chin. “What about poetry?”

“What about it?”

“Does Penny like poetry?”

Does Penny like poetry?
We'd done a poetry unit last year in our AP English class. Most of what we read was bullshit. Honestly, I can hardly remember anything except for this poem about a guy out driving at night who finds a dead deer by the side of the road. I remember Penny being really bummed about how the guy pushed the deer over the edge of a cliff at the end. She was a total sucker for animals, especially sick or vulnerable ones, which was how she wound up with a three-legged dog. Anyway, I was pretty sure the key to winning Penny back didn't have anything to do with a dead deer.

“Maybe you could write her a poem?”

“Hmmmm. I don't think so, Nat.”

She placed an X in the box next to
poetry.

“Girls like jewelry.”

“I know. I've seen all the same movies you have and then some. Plus I gave Penny plenty of jewelry over the last two years.”

“Did you ever give her anything with diamonds in it?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm not a gajillionaire.”

“I have some money in my piggy bank.”

“Listen, Nat.” I took my spoon and tried to dip it into her ice cream, but she blocked me with her spoon like an expert fencer. “I don't need to buy Penny stuff. That's not what this is about. And it's not what it should be about for you when you're old enough to fall in love.”

“I am old enough!”

“Fine, but just don't pick your boyfriend based on what he buys you.”

She thought this over. “Okay.”

“Penny broke up with me because…well, because…” I still didn't have a good enough answer to this. “Well, she said I have issues and that I don't think enough about things.”

“That's weird.”

“It is weird, isn't it? But I'm working on it.”

We sat and finished our ice creams in silence. Natalie licked her spoon clean and as much of the inside of the cup as she could get to.

“I liked Penny,” she said.

“Me too.”

“It's not fair that I didn't get a chance to say good-bye to her.”

That was when I got my idea. The kid wanted the chance to say good-bye to Penny, and what kind of brother would I be if I didn't help the kid get what she wanted? I'd bring her to Penny's house.

We went on Wednesday after school. I told Mom I'd pick up Natalie from her gymnastics class.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“But how?”

“I'll get Maggie to drive me.”

Mom eyed me. Much as she adored Maggie, we shared the same opinion about her driving.

“Fine, I'll get Will or Luke to do it.”

“Okay. You're sure about this?”

“Yes, Mom. Totally sure.”

“Because she's eight years old. If you forget her at her gymnastics class, those scars won't heal.”

“Mom. I'm not going to forget Natalie. If there's anyone who understands about those scars, it's probably me.”

“Honey. I just meant that sometimes you get…distracted.”

This was precisely why I didn't want to tell her about Penny and me breaking up. She thought I couldn't be trusted to do anything on my own.

I asked Will to drive me over lunch.

“So…you're trying to use your adorable little sister to get to Penny.”

“No. Natalie just wanted a chance to say good-bye to her.”

“You're shameless.”

I would never
use
Natalie, but Penny cared about her. There was no way she'd dare be rude and cold to me in front of Natalie. And she always told me she admired what a good big brother I was, so, yes, I thought maybe when she saw me with my sister, she'd remember one of the things about me that made me worth loving. But I couldn't admit any of this to Will.

“Are you going to ask Penny if it's okay to come by?”

“No.”

“But aren't you going to see her next period in Spanish?”

“Will, are you going to give me the ride or not?”

“I'm not sure.”

“What aren't you sure about?”

“If I want to aid and abet you in making an ass of yourself.”

He finally agreed to do it, and we picked Natalie up right on time. She was wearing this pink velvet leotard, with her hair in pigtails. It was like she'd dressed for her starring role in the smash hit
Win Back Penny's Love.

Natalie jumped on Will's back and he rode her out to his car, galloping and zigzagging while she laughed and clutched his neck.

“How are you guys going to get home?” he asked as we idled in front of Penny's house.

“We'll walk.”

“No way. I'm not walking home,” Natalie said. “No way.”

“We'll figure it out.”

“I can wait here if you want,” Will offered. “You should make it quick anyway.”

We climbed out of the car and I leaned back into the passenger window. “It's okay, Will. I hereby relieve you of your chauffeuring duties. Carry on.”

He gave me a disapproving look. “Suit yourself.”

Juana answered the door again, but this time I could read her face. She knew Penny and I were over, and she knew it probably wasn't a good thing that I was standing on the doorstep with my pigtailed little sister.

“Hello, River.” She leaned down a little bit and managed a smile at Natalie. “Hello, princess. You must be Natalie.”

“I am.”

She stuck out her hand and Natalie took it. “I've heard so much about you. It's nice to put such a cute face together with the name.”

Natalie looked at me. Not sure what to do or say next. Juana hadn't invited us in.

“Um,” Natalie said. “We've come to see Penny.”

“Is she…expecting you?”

“No,” Natalie said. “It's a surprise.”

Juana thought it over for a minute, but what were her options? She couldn't just turn us away. Natalie was sweet and cute, yes, but also, Juana and I shared the role of almost-family to the Brockaways. We were like almost-cousins.

“Penelope!” she called. “You have visitors!”

She led us into the kitchen, put out a plate of cookies and poured us glasses of milk. She knew just what I liked, but I held back. I didn't want Penny to find me with a milk mustache.

Penny went right to Natalie and gave her a big hug, swinging her back and forth. She kissed the top of Natalie's head.

“Hiya, Natty.” Penny put her back down. “Look at you. You look ready for the Olympics!”

“I wish you hadn't broken up with River.”

Penny shot me a look. I shrugged, like:
I swear I didn't put her up to this.

“Listen, Nat,” Penny said. “You wanna come upstairs for a minute? I have a new perfume I think you're gonna love.”

Natalie put down her cookie and took Penny by the hand. I couldn't decide if I should feel betrayed or in awe. I had no idea what the kid's end game was.

I wolfed down two cookies and chugged my glass of milk, wiping my mouth and waving off Juana's offer of more.

She cleared my plate and glass. “She's sweet, your sister.”

“Yeah, I know. She's a good one.” I could tell Juana wanted to say something else. Probably she wanted to yell at me to run and take my dignity with me.