Tempest’s Legacy (6 page)

Maybe I just can’t love
, I thought as Ryu’s unhappy face kissed away my tears.

“Not your fault,” I murmured to him guiltily as I hid my expression in his neck under cover of gentle bites. He stroked me harder, reaching between us with seeking
fingers to precipitate the orgasm that shattered over me moments later. My head fell back with my cries, and Ryu’s fangs found my throat as he came with me. Momentarily quieted by my body’s pleasure, my mind gave me a blessed, if short-lived, respite.

After he’d fed, Ryu stayed inside me. His weight grounded me as I cradled him with my cupped pelvis, enjoying the heavy pressure of his body on mine. It felt as if he were holding me to the earth.

“You taste of sorrow,” Ryu said softly, feathering my lips with kisses.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, unsure of what else to say.

“It wasn’t an accusation.”

He shifted off me and we went into the bathroom to clean up. As usual I took longer, and when I returned to the bedroom Ryu was cuddled up in bed waiting for me. I yawned as I joined him under the covers.

“Sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake.”

My mind was already shutting down, lulled by my body’s demands for rest.

“Thank you, Ryu. For being here.”

I felt his lips brush my eyelids. The last thing I remembered was his purring voice in my ear, telling me that he meant it when he said he’d always be there for me.

I was dreaming of my mother.

She was in front of me, perpetually one step ahead, as I tried to follow her through our house. Her voice echoed, laughing, from the kitchen. But when I crossed the hallway and pushed open the door, she was gone. Then I heard her upstairs, in her bedroom… but, again, by the time I’d thundered up the stairs, the room was empty.

This happened again and again, until finally I saw her pinning laundry on the line that stretched from our small back porch to the back corner of our shabby detached garage. Keeping my eyes on her, for I knew she’d disappear if I so much as blinked, I pushed open the screen door.

I crept forward, wanting so much to reach her. And yet my steps were hesitant, as if I feared what I might find when I turned that Mari-shaped figure around.

And that’s when the buzzing started. Like a fly but louder, echoing through our backyard. And each time it buzzed, something fell away. First the trees that bordered the very back of our lot disappeared, as if they’d fallen into the maw of some world-devouring goddess. Then, with each buzz, the darkness took another bite, until my mother was the only solid thing in front of me and I knew she would be next to fall. In my dream I lunged forward, screaming, as that deathly buzzing reverbrated again…

In reality, I jolted awake as Ryu’s BlackBerry thundered out another loud ring and Ryu finally answered it.

I lay in the bed, my heart pounding, trying to shake off the horror of my dream.

“What do you want?” Ryu said, his voice curt.

“She’s fine,” he responded after a second. Then he listened.

“Well, she’s safe now. I’ve got her.” I kept an ear tuned to his conversation as I peeled the sweaty sheets away from me and glanced at the clock. I’d been asleep only an hour and a half.

“I told you I’d take care of her, and I did. She was sleeping before you woke us up.” I knew Ryu was talking about me, but he didn’t sound concerned. He sounded… smug.

“Why don’t we leave the day after? Fine, tomorrow. Whatever. I’ll be there.” Then he turned off his phone, without saying good-bye.

He smiled when he saw me curled up under the covers, then he joined me.

“Gods, I’ve missed you in my bed,” he said, gathering me close. I was still disoriented by the dream, but I was also confused by Ryu’s telephone conversation.

“I’ve missed your bed, too,” I echoed carefully as I tried to pin down what it was that was bothering me about our present situation.

His lips found mine and his hands stroked my sides. He was very obviously ready for round two, but I realized I needed to know who was on the phone.

“Were you talking to Iris?” I asked as he nipped at my neck.

“Hmm?”

“Iris. Were you talking to her on the phone just now?”

Ryu pulled away, glancing up at me with an unreadable expression.

“No, it wasn’t Iris,” he said, taking my nipple between his fingers and rolling it gently. But I was not so easily distracted.

“Then who was it?” I asked. “You were talking about me. Unless you have another woman stashed about here somewhere.”

“Jane, let’s just enjoy our time together.”

I didn’t understand why he was being sketchy. Then again, now that I was fully awake and had had some time to recover from the shock of learning about my mother, I didn’t understand a few things. How had he known to
come to Iris’s? Why had he been in Maine at all? How had he known about my mother’s death?

Grimly, my mind racing, I pulled away to sit facing him with the sheet in my lap.

“Yeah, Ryu. We do have to talk. Who was on the phone? And how did you know what happened?”

“Anyan. It was Anyan on the phone,” he finally replied begrudgingly.

“Oh,” I said. “What did he want?”

“He was checking to see if I was with you.”

“Right. Why did he think to do that?”

“You weren’t anywhere else so he checked with me.”

“But why would he assume I’d be with you? You live in Boston.”

Ryu leaned back against the headboard, sighing. He didn’t respond. A cold flash of realization went off in my head and everything fell into place.

“Ryu, how did you know about my mother? How did you know to come looking for me? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Do we have to talk about this now? I haven’t seen you in forever; I just want to enjoy being with you.” Ryu leaned forward to run his hand under the sheet, up my thigh, toward my sex.

My hand snapped down to his wrist to stop his forward advance.

“Tell me,” I ground out between clenched teeth.

“You weren’t at Grizzie and Tracy’s, and you weren’t home, so I figured you were with Iris.”

“Yeah, but why were you even here?”

His jaw clenched, and suddenly I knew everything. But I wanted him to say it.

“Ryu?”

“I’ve been helping Anyan with his investigation,” he said eventually.

My breath faltered. I had thought as much, but hearing him say it shook me to the core.

“So you knew my mother was dead.”

His only answer was a silence that screamed in response.

“Were you there when they found her?”

Again, only that telling silence.

“That’s what you meant on the phone yesterday. When you said you’d be there for me. It’s because you knew my mother was dead.”

He reached for me. “Jane…”

“You bastard,” I hissed, springing away from his touch. “Tell me you were going to say something but you chickened out. Tell me you didn’t just say those things, knowing the truth.”

“Jane, Anyan and I had already talked. We thought it was best…”

“You asshole,” I breathed, seeing the truth about his actions, and realizing how perfectly they’d played out… and what a stupid bitch I’d been.

“So you let Anyan take one for the team,” I said, my voice cold. “You let him come and tell me this awful thing, and then you swooped in to pick up the goddamned pieces. My goddamned pieces. And I fucking fell for it.”

“Jane, it’s not like that. He wanted to tell you. I didn’t think you needed to hear it from both of us, but I knew you’d need me after you heard.”

“Bullshit, Ryu.” Anger seethed within me, but it was aimed mostly at myself. I could see the entire scenario
with brutal clarity. The fact is, I knew that Ryu could not have helped his actions. Everything he’d done was quintessentially Ryu.

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,” I said finally. His face brightened, but what followed wiped away his smile, as did my angry tone. “I know you probably believe the shit you’re telling yourself. But deep down inside, you have to realize that you treated my mother’s death and my grief as just one more ace up your sleeve. You can’t help but manipulate people, Ryu.”

He blinked at me, his face expressing his shock, hurt, and outrage. And that’s when it all fell into place for me: all that
stuff
he was always trying to give me, even when I told him I didn’t want it; his little spats of jealousy, some joking but some not; his harping on about my moving to Boston…

He has no idea who I am, what I want, or what I need.

“Jane,” came Ryu’s voice, breaking through my epiphany. “That’s not fair. I…”

“I know you don’t get it, Ryu,” I said, suddenly tired but also suddenly clear, suddenly sure and confident. My voice soft yet firm, I met his hazel eyes with my black, feeling that gulf that had always been there—the gulf that had been bridged by sex and mutual attraction, but now was too cavernous to ignore. “And I understand you never meant to be cruel or hurtful. But
you
can’t seem to understand that I’m not something to be won or lost. I’m not a pawn, or a prize, and our being together isn’t a game.
It’s not a game
,” I repeated firmly, seeing his face flash anger, “and I’m not playing anymore.”

I got up from the bed.

“I’m leaving. You can take me home or not.”

“Jane,” he said, his voice strained, “please, just let me explain.”

“Save it, Ryu,” I said as I walked toward the door.

Swimming home sounded like a much better idea anyway.

R
ight after work the next day, I was at the door of Anyan’s cabin. It was twilight, and the cabin looked cozy and welcoming in the encroaching gloom. My heart was in my throat, however. I hadn’t slept for shit the night before, so physically I was exhausted. Magically, my two long swims had left me glowing like an overcharged reactor. After what had happened in Boston, not only was my control over my power much stronger, but I also had more access to the elements. Yet, despite that energy, my body felt gritty and heavy with exhaustion, especially mentally. And on top of everything, pressing down on my mind was the issue of what I was going to tell my father.

Regardless of the years that had passed, he was still waiting for my mother to come home to him. He’d never gotten rid of her stuff, not even packed it away. Her raincoat still hung in our hallway closet; her boots still sat with ours by the door. Sometimes he talked about her as if she were merely on vacation and had a return ticket, the
date of which we knew. Except for one ugly scene, when I was thirteen and so tired of him loving a woman who had abandoned us, I’d never confronted him on the issue. When he talked about her returning, I held my tongue and ignored him.

Now I knew that she was dead. I knew she would never be able to come home. But how could I tell that to my dad?

It would kill him, and not just metaphorically. What with his bad heart, death was a definite possibility. Besides which, how could I explain how I knew she’d been murdered? I’d lain twisted up in bed all night, trying to imagine that conversation.

Well, Dad, Mom was a seal and I’m magic! Another magic dude, who’s a hellhound in his other life, told me that he found Mom’s dead body. She was probably murdered by the evil elf who’s tried to kill me at least twice. Oops, I forgot to mention any of this? Sorry about that! Oh well, now you have more closet space. Can I make you a sandwich?

Granted, that speech was the extra-callous version, but how could I tell him in a way that
wasn’t
callous? I’d have to destroy all his hope, and I would inevitably have to lie to him at the same time. I’d have to lie to him about my mother’s real identity and my own, in order to cover for all those other lies. In other words, it was either lie to him or he’d find out that the wife who’d abandoned him had done so because he’d never really known her at all, and, to top it off, his daughter had been living a secret life for the past year and a half as well.

It ended up being a pretty textbook definition of betrayal, no matter how it was approached. Not least
because there was no doubt in my mind that I was the reason my mother was dead.