Tempt (Ava Delaney #3) (28 page)

The room
was sparse, some basic bedroom furniture and a desk. Above the desk
hung an enormous old-fashioned painting of a woman, the only
decoration. I leaned on the desk to get a closer look and jumped
back in fright. The surface of the desk quivered beneath my touch.
I had the strangest compulsion to open a drawer. I didn’t know why,
but I couldn’t leave the room without looking.

My hands
passed over all three drawers, but the one in the middle sent a
tingle through my fingers. Something important was in there. I
could sense it. I pulled it open to reveal an ancient book. From
the outside, it didn’t appear possible for a book of that size to
fit in the narrow drawer, and I guessed some sort of magic had a
hand in that.

The book
was living. I didn’t know why I thought that, but it wasn’t an
inanimate object. I sensed too much living energy spiralling out of
it. Even touching it sparked something deep inside me. I
tentatively slid my fingertips over the cover. Bound in something
akin to leather, the edges of the pages were dark brown.

I opened
the book, half-expecting it to disintegrate at my touch, but the
pages were perfect. More magic, it had to be. That suffocating
feeling I so often felt in Eddie’s shop emanated from the book. I
didn’t understand the words on the pages, but it felt like great
power. Unwieldy power. The kind I didn’t want anyone to have. Least
of all, Eddie.

I was
desperate to take the book away and hide it. Hearing the bell of
the shop tinkle, I realised Eddie could have returned, so with one
last lingering look, I shut the drawer and ran back to the spare
room.

When
Eddie came into the room, I could have sworn he knew I had done
something. The way he looked at me, so piercingly, I prayed I
wouldn’t blush. I hadn’t planned on telling Gabe anything about
Eddie, but between the intensely magical book, the trapped souls,
and Eddie’s talk of sleeping gods, I was convinced I needed to keep
an eye on him.

It took
Eddie a while to prepare what basically turned out to be magical
painkillers. I thought he was going to pull out something amazing.
Carl would need more than pain relief.

We had
to wait for Carl to come out of his current stupor. When he did, he
got up out of the bed and glared at Eddie. I had forgotten how much
Eddie’s home had disturbed Carl the first time we stayed there. I
felt sure the magical book had a little to do with it. I couldn’t
get the sensation of touching the book out of my head.

“
I think that means he’s up for this,” Peter said
wryly.

“
Try it now, Ava,” Eddie said, keeping a wary eye on
Carl.

I bade
Carl to sit next to me, and I tried to remember what it had been
like the first time. The vampire Arthur had broken the bond then,
but the feeling it provoked in me was very particular, and I had a
sense I needed to grab onto that. In more ways than one, I had to
let Carl go.

“
Carl,” I said softly. “I release you.”

Nothing
happened.

“
You have to mean it,” Eddie said unhelpfully.

“
I’m aware of that.” I stared at Carl. “Of course I mean
it.”

“
He could lose his mind if you don’t do it soon.”

The
pressure built inside me all over again. “I know, Eddie. Carl, I
release you.”

Still
nothing happened, and I began to panic. I was the one who would
kill him in the end. “I don’t want you!” I grabbed his shoulders
and shook him. I felt it then, like a rip deep inside me. I let go
of Carl, and he fell back, but I was too busy keeling over in pain
to check on him. I lay on the floor, groaning, while Peter and
Eddie took care of Carl.

The pain
relief worked quickly, and he soon slept again. I wasn’t as
lucky.

“
You okay?” Peter nudged me carefully with his
foot.

“
Get away from me.” I rolled over, feeling as though I wanted
to rip something apart. The pain wasn’t like a normal physical one.
My blood hurt. All of my blood cells burned as one. With a little
screech, I dug my nails into the floor and scratched
hard.

Eddie
touched my skin and tutted. “Fever,” he muttered. “Be careful,
Peter.”

Peter
lifted me over his shoulder and threw me on the bed next to Carl. I
kicked out at him, and he laughed. “Here comes the wild animal,” he
teased, but my brain raged. I could literally see a red mist in
front of my eyes.

“
Oh, Jesus.” Peter stepped back in alarm. “You’re
bleeding.”

“
She’ll be fine,” Eddie said. “She’ll heal.”

“
Something broke,” I hissed. “Inside me.”

Eddie
smiled. “I’ll bet it feels that way. I need you to get a grip now,
Ava. Carl will need all the help he can get when he wakes up.
There’s still a chance he won’t be himself.”

“
You better not have done something to him,” I said,
practically snarling. Eddie ignored me and wiped my eyes
clean.

“
What now?” Peter asked.

“
Now, we wait.”

***

Carl
finally stirred in the early hours of the morning. I had been
staring at the moonlit sky for hours, struggling to keep hold of my
humanity. Whatever had happened when the bond broke scared me. I
had been too close to losing control. I was angry, angrier than I
had ever been, and with the anger came something else, a darkness
that didn’t sit well. The darkness had been a constant in my life
for far too long. I was ready to shed it for good.

A
muffled sound from Carl’s throat alerted me. His heartbeat raced.
It thundered in his chest as though it would drown out all other
sounds. My mouth watered, and I thought I might throw up from the
shame of it.

His eyes
flung open and caught my gaze. They widened further, and he glanced
around the room, anxiety stinking the air.

“
You okay?”

He
stared at me as though I were the stuff of nightmares. “Who the
hell are you?”

Oh, holy
shit.

I
screamed for Eddie, terrifying poor Carl in the process. When both
Eddie and Peter ran in, Carl huddled in the bed like a scared
child.

“
Hey man, you okay?” Peter asked. His face fell when Carl
stared back at him blankly.

Describing who we were to Carl proved to unsettle him
further, and a deadly fear gripped my heart. What if his mind was
gone for good? When Carl slept, Eddie explained that the shock of
the bond-breaking had traumatised Carl, forcing him to blank out
everything that had happened.

“
It’s a survival mechanism,” he reassured us. “As long as we
keep him safe and comfortable, he’ll remember things slowly enough
for him to deal with.”

“
Is he going to be okay?” My voice was barely above a whimper,
and Peter moved closer to me.

“
Only time will tell,” Eddie said, before going back to
bed.

I turned
to Peter, but I couldn’t form the words. He didn’t speak, either,
only wrapped his arms around me and let me lean on him
completely.

***

Over the
next few days, Carl’s memories returned slowly but surely. He
seemed okay, but a constant sadness dulled his eyes. I kept
thinking that maybe his spirit had been the thing that had really
broken, that maybe I had killed everything that made him
himself.

The
moment he remembered me was one of the worst times. His entire body
shook violently until I left the room. He wasn’t prepared to see me
again until the following day.

“
It’s hard to process,” he told me. “There are so many images
that pop into my head when I see you. I don’t know what’s real and
what’s a nightmare.”

I bit my
lip. His nightmares about me were reality.

After a
week, he was less shaky and nervous, but still different. I felt
his anxiety all of the time. It never let up, not even when he
slept. I wanted to help him… I just didn’t know how.

Peter
stayed with Carl, who seemed happier around him. He was noticeably
more comfortable around Peter than anyone else, and I realised how
strong a friendship they had developed. I couldn’t help feeling a
little left out.

One day,
Carl cried in front of me.

“
What’s wrong?” I asked, terrified for some reason.

“
I was so stupid, Ava. What the hell am I doing with my life?
I keep nearly dying, nearly losing my mind. I keep getting wrapped
up in all of this shit that has nothing to do with me.”

“
I’m sorry.”

“
Don’t. Don’t even say that to me. You warned me, and I didn’t
listen. When I was with her… I couldn’t think of anything else. It
was like an obsession, an addiction. Being around her was slowly
killing me. I mean, I could feel it happen, but it felt like
something I had to do. It felt like it was worth it.” He shook his
head. “And then you came, and I was trapped again, in the back of
my head. I kept trying to break through, but I was in darkness most
of the time. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. I felt like I was
suffocating. The darkness kept closing in on me, the space was
getting smaller and smaller. I could sense that I was losing
myself, that I wouldn’t ever make it out.”

He held
onto my hands without even realising it, pinching my skin he
gripped so hard. “Then, you set me free again, and I felt like I
was on fire. I’ve never been in so much agony. It was awful. I
wanted to die. Then, the darkness came again, and it swallowed me
up. I couldn’t break free. I kept trying. I couldn’t give up, and
slowly flashes of light came through. It was like I dug holes in
the wall, and eventually, I broke through completely.”

“
And now?”

He
stared at me, his lips trembling. “Now, I want to go home, Ava. I
just want to go home. They won’t take me back, not after everything
I’ve done. Maria won’t even take my calls now. I’ve screwed it all
up, and look where it got me. You know how I feel about you and
Peter, but right now, I wish I’d never laid eyes on either of
you.”

I would
have done anything to take that hollow look out of his eyes, the
bitterness from his voice. But he turned his back on me and asked
me to leave, saying he needed some time alone.

I took
the opportunity to go home for a change of clothes. When I
returned, Peter was on the shop floor, waiting for me. My heart
sank when I saw his face. He moved closer to me and
hesitated.

“
What’s wrong?” I tapped my wrist in agitation.

He held
on to my fingers to stop me. “Carl doesn’t want to see you.” He
said it in such a low voice, I hoped I had misheard him. I shook my
head, not knowing what to say. I’d done everything I could for
Carl, and now he didn’t want to see me again.

“
I tried to help him. Even when I nagged him to death, I just
wanted to protect him. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
Even I winced at how pitiful my words sounded.

“
I know. Trust me, I know. I had to watch you leave the
country and deal with Becca alone when all I wanted to do was go
over there and sort the problem out for you. But I had to let you
go.”

I
frowned. “I came back, though.”

He
squeezed my fingers. “Don’t look at me like that. Please don’t look
so sad.”

I
attempted a smile. It didn’t quite work. I blamed it on the
bond.

“
He just needs a break from all of this. You’re the biggest
reminder of the worst things. He’ll get over it.”

“
I don’t think he will. But it’s for the best, right? At least
he’ll be safe away from me.”

He
didn’t answer. I tried to stretch my fingers, but he held them too
firmly.

“
You can let go now,” I whispered.

He did.
We faced each other awkwardly. With the immediate danger over, I
felt a little embarrassed by how much I depended on Peter, and we
still hadn’t dealt with the blood-drinking.

“
About before,” I said.

“
We’ve forgotten about it, Ava. We’re not talking about it.
Ever.”

The
coldness in his voice disturbed me, but I knew how much it had cost
him to help Carl. I knew how much it was still costing him, even
though there wasn’t a scar, and I had made sure not to ruin his
tattoo.

“
I’ll go then,” I said, feeling at a loss.

“
Keep your phone on loud. There’s a house up for rent that I
think would be perfect for you. It needs a little work, but I could
help you.”

I
narrowed my eyes. “What are the neighbours like?”

He
laughed loudly, sounding a little relieved. “You’ll have to wait
and see.”

I left
the shop, feeling a mixture of emotions. Becca was gone, and the
succubus had been dealt with, but I still had a lot of things to
do. I had a lot of things to make up for.

I rapped
quickly on the door, seeing no bell. The sound seemed to
reverberate in the air, so quiet was the neighbourhood. The place
looked like heaven compared to the hell of my flat, and I couldn’t
believe Carl had been so willing to throw it all away.