Tempted by Darkness (9 page)

When her brain finally came fully back
on-line, Kit looked up to see both of her mates standing beside the
bed. Damn, they were so fucking hot, loose jersey pants riding low
over taunt lower abs had replaced their jeans, the soft fabric
exposing matching happy trails that she knew for a fact lead
straight to heaven. But as her eyes made their way north muscular
arms crossed over broad chests led to stern expressions let her
know they’d been
listening in
and were not exactly pleased
with what they’d been hearing.
Fuck me, they really don’t
understand how my mind processes information. Just because I miss
something doesn’t mean I’d like to go back there…well, at least not
most of the time.
Right now, returning to her simpler life
sounded like a very good idea.

Trev could feel Jameson’s frustration pulsing
all around them—the fact it was overriding his own meant his
brother was nearing his breaking point. The negative emotion wasn’t
going to help their situation and the truth was Trev wasn’t sure he
could mask his own frustration and keep his brother calm. And
unless they kept their heads on straight, they wouldn’t be able to
discuss this rationally with their reluctant mate.

This had been an ongoing struggle with Kit
and he wasn’t quite sure how to end the challenge once and for all.
‘
Let me deal with her. You are too angry and none of us wanted
this sort of end to our evening. Remember, she is still coming down
from the scene and we don’t want to take this too
seriously—yet.’

‘
Fine, but handle it. I am tired of always
worrying that she is going to decide we are more trouble than we’re
worth.’
Trev knew the core of Jameson’s anger was his fear of
losing Kit, but he also knew she’d never leave them or their
children. ‘
Remember, there is more than one way to leave.’
When Trev didn’t respond, Jameson continued. ‘
She could lock
away her heart and I think that might actually be worse. If she
regrets being mated, eventually she’ll grow bitter and resent us.
There are a lot of ways to lose her, brother.’

Both he and Jameson had wasted far too much
time drifting after their parents had been killed. Trev had often
thought back on that time and wondered how they’d managed to
finally emerge from the fog of grief that had surrounded them.
They’d lost months that should have been devoted to building the
pack rather than mentally reviewing every move they’d made that
night and endlessly sorting through “what ifs”. But as much as they
wanted to spare Kit from making the same mistakes they’d made, the
bottom line was she was an intelligent woman who was more than
capable of making her own decisions. ‘
Well, good fucking luck. I
didn’t miss that look. When she raises her chin like that there is
a battle ahead. I’m going upstairs to the office and vent some of
my frustration on the list of slackers I got from the manager at
the club.’

When Jameson turned on his heel and stomped
out of the dungeon, Trev tried to hold back his chuckle. Kit’s
expression softened and he saw some of the starch leave her spine.
They could easily block their conversation from her, and she didn’t
know several of the new-hires at their downtown club were not
working out well. What on earth was wrong with people these days?
They wanted the income, but didn’t want to do any more than the
barest minimum? Trev didn’t doubt for a minute that the upcoming
phone conference with their operations manager was going to leave
the man with little doubt about how Jameson felt on the
subject.

Trev let several seconds of silence pass
before speaking, “Want to explain or would you rather I just
started?” He saw Kit wince at his harsh words, but he wasn’t going
to coddle her this time. She needed to get past this and he was
determined to help her even if it meant a departure from the way he
usually dealt with her. He hated seeing a cloud of self-doubt pass
through her eyes, he didn’t want her to doubt herself; he just
wanted her to know that her destiny was about her choices, not
about circumstances beyond her control.

“I’m sorry. I know my mind wanders and I wish
I was better at shielding you from that. I don’t want to hurt you…”
Trev could hear the sorrow in her voice and nearly folded, but
instead he just pulled up a chair and sat down alongside the bed.
Folding his arms over his chest he sat back, watching her
thoughtfully and simply waited. She’d scooted up so her back was
against the carved headboard and he knew it wasn’t comfortable, but
he planned to leave it alone for the moment. When she started to
pull the sheet up to cover herself from his view, Trev simply shook
his head. She didn’t argue, but since he knew she wasn’t cold
covering her body from his view was her way of putting distance
between them, and that was something he wasn’t going to allow.

“I’m just worried…”

When she didn’t continue, he inquired,
“About?” Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and he could feel
how unsettled her emotions were. “Talk to me, Kit. I can’t help if
I don’t understand the problem.” His words must have struck some
cord because he was shocked when she launched herself into his
arms. Trev wasn’t entirely sure how she had managed to move so
effortlessly, hell, it had been impressive even for a shifter.

She didn’t cry, but her entire body was
shuddering and that was cause enough for concern. Pulling a soft
throw from the end of the bed, he wrapped it around her back
tucking it all around her and moved silently up the back stairs
until he reached their private suite. He’d grabbed the remote
control for the fireplace and turned it up before settling on the
large leather sofa facing the fire. She curled against him and
finally spoke, “I’m scared, Trev. There is so much at stake—so many
people’s safety and future depend on my ability to be able to
separate fact and fiction, and then I have to be able to do
whatever needs to be done. I’m not sure I can do any of those
things.” He didn’t respond because he knew her well enough to know
she wasn’t finished.

Kit processed information at the speed of
light, but she didn’t work through her emotions nearly as quickly.
He’d always suspected she’d learned to distance her mind from her
heart as a way to protect herself from the judgment she’d felt as a
child, but he would never say that to anyone but Jameson.
Everything they’d learned about their mate indicated Kit’s mother
had been quite harsh, and even though it now appeared as though
she’d been trying to protect her daughter, the damage had still
been done.

“We all know that I have no idea how I was
able to send Damian behind the seal. And if I don’t know how I did
it there is little chance I’ll be able to do it again. And I’m not
sure I’m really capable of hurting someone on purpose.” She
shuddered in his arms and he simply tightened his hold around her
shoulders. “It was one thing to react—you know, I didn’t even have
to think that night. I knew he was going to hurt you and Jameson,
and I just acted. But what if I can’t really pull that off again if
I’m not protecting someone I love?”

“Baby, I think the thing you are forgetting
is that the only reason you would need to hurt anyone was to
protect those you love. There isn’t another reason, is there?” He
watched as her eyes widened in surprise, the understanding that
moved through her expression was comforting, but he wasn’t foolish
enough to think those simple words were enough. “I don’t think you
understand that magic is based on the power of the Universe and
that it’s been granted to you because your heart will always filter
it toward the side of light rather than darkness. It’s simply a
matter of who you are at your core. You are a good person.” He
threaded his fingers into her hair at the base of her skull and
tightened his grip, tiling her face back so he could look into her
eyes. “Your heart knows this, you just need to get your head out of
the way. I wish more than anything you could see yourself through
the eyes of others—because, oh how different your view would
be.”

Trev wasn’t sure he’d ever meant anything
more. And feeling her relax in his embrace, watching as the tension
seemed to drain from her facial features, fulfilled a part of him
as her mate. Now if he could just help her through the coming weeks
when he knew her every move was going to be sliced and diced by far
too many people. The scrutiny would probably cause her to question
herself, but he hoped they’d made enough progress tonight she’d be
stronger the next time she felt vulnerable. “What I want you to
remember is that even the strongest person is vulnerable at times.
And that vulnerability isn’t the same as weakness. Vulnerability
keeps you grounded, it means your soul is capable of being open and
empathetic, and those are amazing gifts and rock solid
strengths.”

The single tear that breached her lower lid
to slide silently down her cheek reminded Trev of the wax he’d seen
his dads use to seal important documents. That tear sealed this
moment in a way nothing else could. Slowly lowering his lips to
hers, Trev pressed a kiss of promise silently against her warm
sweetness. He’d only intended to reassure her that all was well
between them, but when she shifted her weight to grind her lush ass
against his erection, Trev felt as if fire had exploded in his
blood. He got to his feet without breaking their kiss and didn’t
release her lips until he’d turned and bent to lay her on the sofa
where he’d been sitting. He was far too impatient to walk all the
way to their bedroom and he loved watching the various shades of
golden light from the fire dance over her ivory skin.

Opening the blanket, he simply stared down at
her as he shed his pants. When he lowered himself over her, Kit
opened her body to him and he smiled against her lips. “I thank the
Universe each and every day for you, baby. We’d looked for you for
so long, but you were well worth the wait.” He emphasized his last
words by thrusting deep into her waiting heat. It didn’t matter
that shifters lived far longer than humans—an eon wouldn’t be
enough time with her.

Jameson stood in front of the windows of his
office staring out into the large open space behind the estate’s
main house. It had been almost a week since he and Trev had taken
Kit to the dungeon and things had gone south so quickly. He was
grateful Trev had left their connection open during his
conversation with Kit, because it had allowed him to hear for
himself what she’d been thinking. Her insecurity had surprised him,
and he was grateful he’d let Trev handle the situation. Heaven only
knew how badly he would have fucked it up. He’d felt helpless and
frustrated and neither of those would have helped.

The fact he absolutely adored his spirited
mate didn’t mean she didn’t drive him to distraction—often. Why she
didn’t see how perfect they were for her and how much they could
help her was a puzzle he didn’t seem to be able to fit together.
She was much too hard on herself in his opinion, but as Trev had
pointed out when the two of them had talked earlier, that wasn’t
something she was going to overcome overnight. It had taken years
for the damage to her self-confidence to take its toll and healing
wouldn’t come nearly as quickly as he’d like.