Tempting (20 page)

I
hit
send and sank back into my chair, stretching my fingers out. Nope. No tingling.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe I just did that,” I said into the quiet room. None of this, none of this felt like enough. Every fucking word I’d sent her in the last week hadn’t been enough. Maybe this last one wasn’t either. She was probably going to get home after a shitty day at her parents’ and groan when she saw the email there from me. But if this didn’t do it?

Then she was done with me. I’d all but gouged my heart out and served it to her, still bloody and pumping. I slammed my laptop shut and stood, suddenly wanting to break something. Break a lot of somethings.

What if it didn’t work?
The thought snaked through my brain, planting a horrible seed that grew and grew and grew. What if all this time, she didn’t want to be left alone. Maybe she wanted to be chased. That no matter what I could say to her, how much of myself I could spill out into those emails, it wasn’t going to be enough. She needed to
see
. See what a miserable fucking wreck I’d become in the last week.

I yanked my coat out of the closet outside of my office, shoving my black knit cap into the pockets, and sprinted down the hallway to the garage.

The snowy roads forced me to drive slowly.

“Fuck!” I yelled, banging my hand on the steering wheel when I had to slam on my brakes to avoid rear-ending another fishtailing car. I couldn’t even feel the cold. Not when I whipped into a parking spot across from her building, not when I jogged across the slushy street, not when I hit the buzzer for her apartment.

Nothing. No answer. Hell, I would have been happy with a “Fuck you” in response through that tinny speaker. I braced my hands on the metal grates that covered the door, absolutely loathing that she needed to live in such a shit hole. I pushed back and went back out onto the sidewalk, peering up at the window that was hers. What an idiot. It was dark in there, which I would have been able to notice before ringing the bell eighty four times if I’d just looked up when I’d crossed the street.

With a huff, I jammed the cap over my head and fisted my hands in the meager warmth that my coat pockets provided. A woman walked by and clutched her purse tighter around her shoulder.

With the beard growth on my face, given I hadn’t shaved in ten days, and the fact that I was wearing all black, I probably looked like a mugger. When I attempted to give her a polite smile, she glared at me.

“Okay then,” I said into the frigid air. “You have a happy Thanksgiving, too.”

I’m not sure how long I leaned up against the brick wall behind me. But it was long enough that my feet were now chunks of ice in my tennis shoes, my nose had probably frozen off about forty five minutes ago, and I’d probably never convince my balls to drop again, for fear that they’d fall off.

I looked at my watch. 7:18.

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” I said out loud. “She probably isn’t even coming home tonight.”

I pushed off from the wall, shocked that my legs even still held enough warmth to keep me standing when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and looked over to see her, looking perfect. And confused.

“Nathan? What are you
doing
here?”

I
didn’t answer
her right away. I couldn’t. I was too busy just looking. While I looked like a crazy bearded mugger, she looked flawless. More polished than I’d ever seen her, actually. Thinner, though, if that were possible after only a week. Like her cheekbones were sharper than they’d been before.

I opened my mouth to say something and she raised her eyebrows expectantly. That’s when it hit me. She hadn’t cussed me out, hadn’t stormed past me, hadn’t run in the opposite direction. She was listening.

We were only a handful of feet away, and all the words that I thought about saying to her just dissipated, frozen in my head before they could get out. Falling forward, I sank to my knees in front of her, ignoring the wet slush that seeped into my jeans and wrapped my arms around her legs. My forehead rested on the black wool of her coat, the coat that I’d bought for her, and I just breathed her in.

“I’m so damn sorry, Adele. I can’t even tell you how sorry I am.” My words were muffled, but I didn’t want to let go of her, content to stay at her feet until she forgave me, or I froze to death, which was an actual possibility. She wasn’t touching me, and I didn’t dare look up. Because if I saw pity or steely resolve in her face, saw anything but forgiveness and want and desire, I’d lose it. “Please,” I whispered, “please tell me you forgive me.”

“How about you stand up and we’ll discuss it.”

I scrambled back, wiping chunks of snow off my knees while I stood. Adele folded her arms across her chest, and the red scarf she wore around her neck made her eyes look so goddamned green, I almost lost my breath. I couldn’t read anything in her face. Not a fucking thing.

We stood there in silence, snow falling quietly around us, covering the slushy mess with a fresh coat of white. The black of her coat, the red of her scarf, and the sleek gold of her hair stood against it so starkly, like someone had painted her like that, a picture of inscrutability.

Thank fuck she spoke first, I was liable to fall to my knees again. “You were pretty forthcoming this week.”

“You read them?”

She nodded with a slight narrowing of her eyes that made me fidget where I stood.

“Good. I’m glad. I meant … I meant every word. I hope you know that.”

“To do that, I’d have to trust you again, wouldn’t I?”

The words were so evenly spoken, her face so unwavering, that I felt my heart pinch. She was done with me. She was so fucking done with me. I pulled the cap off my head and rubbed a hand over my hair, just for something to do.

“Somehow,” I started, watched her tilt her head in quiet regard, “somehow I thought that my age meant I was better, smarter, on more solid footing than you were. But I was so fucking wrong. And my biggest regret is that you might have ever believed it. I’m sorry for that too.”

Somewhere in the middle, she took a step closer, the heels on her boots making her mouth only a few inches beneath mine.

“Nathan?” My eyes fell shut, hearing her say my name like that. Finally, there was warmth wrapped around those letters, like she’d savored it in her mouth before releasing it to me. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t get my eyes to open. “Can we go upstairs now?”

They popped open just as she lifted a freezing cold hand to cup my face. “What?”

“I’d really like to kiss you, but I don’t think we should do it out on the street.”

My eyes searched hers, finally seeing the melting that had happened since she said my name. Then her lips curved up, and my whole body lit up with a blinding, visceral blast. I wrapped her up in my arms and lowered my face to hers.

“I don’t give a fuck who sees this.” She gave me a brilliant smile, arms tightening around my neck. I paused right before our lips touched. “Wait, I need you to say it.”

“One of those men, huh? That need the words to do the dirty?” Because she grinned when she said it, I growled and moved forward, fitting her bottom lip between both of mine in a perfectly soft kiss. When I pulled back, her face was serious again. “Of course, I forgive you, Nathaniel. I’ve been miserable this week. It’s like my heart wasn’t beating the same way.”

Finally, finally I kissed her, relishing in the feel and taste of her icy cold lips between my own. We wound around each other, deepening the kiss with tongues and roaming hands. Adele grabbed my hand and started walking to the door to her place. I stopped her just after she unlocked it to let us in.

“Hey,” I said, not letting her go in just yet. She turned to me with a smile, drawing me closer with the hand I was gripping. “Thank you.”

“For what?” she asked, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

I took her face in both of my hands, rubbed the length of my nose against hers. “I’ll never do that again, I promise. Because I never expected to find something like this. To feel like this.” Adele drew her head back, clearly surprised by my declaration. I didn’t think she was any closer than I was to being ready to say those other words, but I’d give her everything I could. “I mean it. You’ve got me, Adele. And I’ll protect your heart, always give you a safe place.”

“That’s good,” she said with a shaky voice, resting her hands on top of mine where they still cupped her cheeks. “Because if anyone could catch me when I fall, it should be the one I’m falling for.”

I wrapped her in my arms, and we stood in that dark, cold stairwell, me holding her, her holding me, until the snow stopped.

T
hree Months
Later

I
pulled
my car into the garage and didn’t get out right away, just taking a minute to not have an incredibly unprofessional freak-out. I’m talking full on yelling, screaming, bouncing off the walls celebration. Instead I kept my hands on the steering wheel and grinned, imagining Adele’s reaction when I went inside and told her.

Harvard. I was going to teach at mother fucking
Harvard
.

She was going to lose it.

When I’d pulled in the driveway, I saw a light on in the family room, so I knew she’d let herself in with the key I had given her about a month prior. For all intents and purposes she lived with me, only spending about one night a week at her apartment, since I was technically still an employee of Northern University, and she was a student there, regardless of the fact that she was no longer in classes I taught. So we kept it low key—driving out of town when we wanted go out, her maintaining the lease on her apartment and me making a point not to look her direction if we passed each other on campus.

But in four months’ time, we’d be able to do whatever the hell we wanted. I let out a relieved laugh and opened the door to go in.

God, what a relief. What a fucking relief. She’d be thrilled. No more being careful, no more wondering whose eyes were on us.

I tried to open the door, but it was locked. Hmm. Using my key to turn the deadbolt, I called her name when I walked in. But only silence greeted me.

“Adele?” I said again, a little louder. The kitchen was clean, a miracle when she’d been home by herself. On the island was the vintage Smith-Corona typewriter I’d bought her for Christmas. With a shake of my head, I pulled the cream colored paper out and brought it close enough to read.

T
hat was
the thing about living with Adele, or … sort of living with her, I guess. The number of times I’d come to home to find her in the mood to play still boggled my mind. I could feel myself harden, and I dropped my coat and car keys on the counter. My shoes stayed behind too, as I didn’t want her to hear me coming. I was just starting to loosen my tie when I passed my office and froze.

“Fucking hell, Adele.”

She was leaning against my desk, a tiny red plaid skirt barely covering her and a white cropped button-down tied just underneath a red lace bra that could hardly contain her breasts. She wore thick-framed glasses and had smoothed her hair into long blonde pigtails on either side of her face. White thigh-high stockings that tied with a red bow covered her legs, and on her feet were those red heels. The ones that I sometimes saw in my dreams.

I braced my hands on the doorway and we drank each other in.

“What have we here?” I said, finally walking toward her.

She blinked up at me, face painted with comical innocence. “Professor Easton, I was
so
naughty.”

With one finger, I traced the skin from the base of her throat and over the firm skin of her tits. “Is that so?”

Adele nodded, biting her lip and thrusting her chest toward me. “I don’t know what came over me. I started looking through your computer and found some … things.”

I hummed, using one hand to untie the knot on her shirt, the other to carefully pull the glasses off her perfect face. “What’d you find, little girl?”

“Pictures,” she whispered and started to take my tie off. I gripped her wrists and pulled them away with a stern shake of my head. Her pupils dilated and she acquiesced easily.

“Show me.”

The quick flick of her eyes toward my laptop screen broke the connection long enough that I could let myself look down the length of her body. That skirt was so tiny, I’d be shocked if it covered her entire ass. The screen flickered to life and I grinned. They were all pictures of her, some naked, some not. All incredible. And I’d be looking at them in detail later.

“My, my. Somebody had a lot of time on her hands today.”

For a split second, she dropped her role, let the fire show in hers eyes and slugged me in the shoulder. “Hey. Don’t be a jackass.”

She softened though, when I smiled down at her and tipped her chin up with my thumb. “Which one is your favorite?”

Adele twisted so she could face my computer again, and it did marvelous things to her body. And no, the skirt did not cover her ass, which was fantastic, because I could smooth my hands up her skin unencumbered.

Her hips wiggled backward in response to my touch and I leaned over her so my chest covered her back. While my right hand came around her front so I could make smooth circles over her clit, I finally noticed the picture she’d chosen. One of her hands was slipped down into the skirt and it showed the smooth expanse of her stomach, the curve of one breast.

“Interesting choice.” I pulled my hand away and she cursed, which made me smile again. I did that so often now, every single day. But she stopped when she heard the sound of me dropping my belt onto the floor next to us.

“I was thinking about you when I took it. What you’d do to me when you got home.”

“Good girl,” I said and opened my pants, flipping the small skirt up. “I have exciting news for you.”

“Yeah?” she asked, voice ragged.

“Mmhmm. But I don’t know if I’ll tell you just yet. Even though it means you can stay here. All the time.”

Her head whipped to the side to look at me, eyes wide. “What?”

I chose that exact moment to thrust into her and we both groaned. As always, she met me move for move, my equal, always pushing me to go faster and harder until we both slumped with exhaustion.

It wasn’t until we were tangled up on the floor, her head cushioned on my chest, that I actually told her that Harvard had offered me a job.

“It’ll be a huge change, no doubt about that. More money, more prestige, but probably a lot more stress, too.”

“And this, this change will make you happy?” she asked, drawing a slow finger under the curve of my pectoral.

“Hmm. It means no more dealing with my father, right?”

“Yes.”

“And I’ll no longer be teaching at the same school where you will be a student for the next two years.”

“Uh-huh.”

The skin on her spine was so soft when I coasted a hand up it. “And that means you’ll get to stay here. Every night. As long as you want.”

Adele propped her chin on me and met my gaze so directly that my heart halted.

“And what if I want forever?”

“Well then,” I said and gathered her closer, even though it still wasn’t close enough, “far be it from me to try to get in between you and what you want. I’m helpless in the wake of your desires.”

The smile that spread across her face stole my heart, it was so full of elation. And truthfully? I was perfectly okay with that.

I didn’t want it back anyway.