Tempting Eden (25 page)

“I honestly don’t remember.”

“But you went to Mr. Mason’s house of your own free will, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“You drank alcohol there?”

“Yes.”

“Even while knowing you were alone with a grown man who you’d been sending all these signals to for a month or more?”

“Signals?”

“Dressing like you described, going to bars, doing things that would lead him on.”

“I didn’t lead him on.”

The lawyer tsked. “You testified you’d told Mr. Mason you loved him, didn’t you?”

I looked at Claudia. Her mouth was set in a grim line. I had to answer. “I did.”

“So when you went to his house, are you saying you had no expectation that you might have sex?”

“No, I had an expectation. But when I said no, my expectation was that I wouldn’t be forced.”

“Are you sure you said no?”

“I am certain.”

“But you don’t remember what you were wearing?”

“No, not exactly. Details of clothing didn’t seem as important as my rape did.”

“Tell me, did you fight him?”

“I tried, but I was so much smaller, it didn’t do any good.”

“Fine, fine. Now, since you were horribly mistreated and had a crime perpetrated against you, please tell me who you told about it and when you went to the police.” His eyes bored into mine, trying to defeat me.

I picked my chin up just a bit higher. I wouldn’t let this two-bit asshole in a cheap suit best me. “I didn’t tell anyone. I was ashamed of what he’d done to me.”

He spun on his heel and threw his hands up in dramatic fashion. “So we’re supposed to believe that you were raped almost twelve years ago, yet you never told a soul?”

“That’s the truth. I don’t care if you believe it or not.”

“Why didn’t you tell your mother?”

I looked at Mother. Tears rolled silently down her pale face. Maria’s arm was around her shoulders.

“Shame, mostly. She had really high hopes for me. After my father died, she sort of pinned all her dreams on me. I couldn’t bear to let her down. When she found out I was pregnant, something shifted between us. I couldn’t risk it getting worse. And when Adele was born, Mother was so smitten, and things got better. I didn’t want them to get dark again. I’d rather pay off Mason than have Adele or Mother know about what he’d done to me.”

Mother shook her head softly, the tears flowing faster as she dabbed a handkerchief at her eyes.

“But sitting here today, you don’t have one iota of proof for this tall tale, do you?”

“My daughter and what I’ve just told you are the proof.”

“Neither of those proves rape.”

Claudia stood up, ready to object, but the judge cut her off. “Mr. Laramie, if you have a question, ask it. Otherwise you may have a seat.”

He smoothed his tie and said, “No further questions, Your Honor.”

“Ms. Rochester, you may step down.” The judge didn’t look at me.

I let out a breath of relief and stepped out of the witness box. I glanced at Mother as I returned to my seat next to Claudia. She hadn’t taken her eyes off me. The pain writ large on her face aged her, made her seem less of the foreboding matriarch and more of a mortal, soft and breakable. I wanted to cry with her, but I needed to be strong. To stay strong for Adele.

“Any more witnesses for the Defendant Ms. Rochester, Claudia?”

“None, Your Honor.”

“Any rebuttal witnesses, Mr. Laramie?”

The attorney was arguing with Mason, their whispers growing loud enough for me to hear. Mason, it seemed, wanted to take the stand, but Mr. Laramie kept saying “Fifth Amendment,” and that he couldn’t risk it. Eventually, the attorney won out.

“None, Your Honor.”

“Then I find this trial is concluded. Laura,” she motioned to her secretary. “I want you to transcribe this part.”

Laura moved to her transcription machine and perched at the ready.

“What’s she doing?” I whispered to Claudia.

“I think she’s ruling from the bench. I’ve never seen her do this before. She usually only issues written orders. I think—”

The judge’s voice, clear and loud interrupted. “The parties have come before me on today’s date in the matter of Mason v. Rochester, a custody action. I have taken testimony from both sides and have decided to rule as follows—”

“Hang on, Judge, the cord came undone.” Laura knelt to plug in the transcription device. Once done, she settled back in and typed a bit. “Okay, I got all that, you can go on.”

My insides kinked, knotted and raw. What if she took Adele from me? What if she made her spend time with the monster sitting only feet away? Would he hurt her, too?

“In the matter of Mason v. Rochester, I find in favor of—”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

J
ACK

I
SAT ALONE.
T
HE
apartment was steeped in gloom save the light glare of the streetlamp a few floors below. Diana had long since gone, the disappointment written across her face sealing the end of our relationship, if it could be called that. I couldn’t give her what she wanted, couldn’t even touch her without thinking of Eden.

I rested my head in my hands and let my thoughts drift where they wanted to go. I was tired of fighting it, of fighting Eden. I recalled her face, the too-thick brows and the turned up nose. Flaws, perhaps, to a garden-variety idiot. Perfection to me.

In my mind, she leaned against my desk, looking down at me with her winsome smile. Then she was in my bed, opening beneath me as I gave her pleasures. Her soft hair straying across my face, her small, pale hand caressing the flowers over my heart. She haunted me. Every day, every night.

I rubbed my eyes, the booze worn off now. It had to be about two in the morning, maybe three. My phone chirped in my pocket. I leaned back, happy for any distraction from the last time I looked at Eden. That memory always ended the parade of her images. The one of betrayal. I scrolled to my email app and saw a new message. It was from [email protected] and had the same cat smile logo as Adele’s. It was Eden, as if she’d read my thoughts somehow.

She hadn’t tried to contact me in months. I’d never taken her calls and assiduously deleted her emails. She even tried to send snail mail. Trashed without a look. Now, though, now I needed something, anything, to make my world somehow bearable again. Even if it required me to pretend for the briefest moment that Eden was different, that she cared about me. I could do it, just to save myself from the hell I was living in. Maybe if I gave in this one time, I’d be able to move on.

I opened the email.

Jack,

Please don’t delete this. You are well within your rights to, but please don’t. I’m writing to give you the explanation you deserve, the one I should have given you a long time ago.

As you know, I was a vice president at Thornfield. But I was never truthful with you about how I got there. I slept my way to the top. I collected top dollar developers and let them use me just like I used them in return. The same thing happened with Gray. I was little more than a prostitute. The shame that admission causes me is huge, overwhelming. But I can say it now. I don’t want any lies between us.

I told you Mason demanded money to stay away from Adele. I didn’t tell you that his demands increased over time and that they got so big that I’d taken out massive loans and whored myself out to developers so that I could pay him. The Belle Mar deal would have saved me from it. Mason promised me that if I would give him all the money I was going to make on the Belle Mar sellout, that he would never bother me again and that he would sign away all his rights to Adele. I felt like I had no choice but to take the deal.

Then you and I happened. And I made so many mistakes. I should have told you about all of it. I can’t excuse my actions. But I need you to know what you saw, what I almost did with Gray—that changed me. I know it’s too little, too late. I love you. I love you so much, and I know I have no right to tell you that.

I left Thornfield. I stopped paying Mason. The truth is out. All of it. Mason is, right now, sitting in the Jefferson County jail awaiting arraignment on rape and blackmail charges. It’s been in the papers. The Rochester family name is crumbling. I have no money, no career. But I don’t care about those things. I want you to know if I could go back, I’d happily be a pauper in disgrace if I could erase the pain I’ve caused you. You, who’ve already suffered far too much. I was selfish and stupid and I fucked up the only chance at amazing I will ever have. Now I have to live with that regret. But I want only happiness for you.

I want you to know that the entire fault is mine, from beginning to end. I know now that I always had a choice. I didn’t have to do the things I did. You showed me that. Your strength showed me what a fool I’ve been.

Please know you are still, and will always be, in my heart, even though I know I don’t deserve to keep you there. Please take with you my love, if you can stand it. Goodbye.

Eden

Before I’d even known what I was doing, I’d dragged my satchel from my closet and started throwing in clothes and random items from my bathroom. I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to see her. My mind was clear, finally clear after six months of wandering in darkness. I followed the light back to her.

The drive was the longest three hours of my life. I was wide-awake, ignoring the lightening sky at my back as I raced west toward home. I’d forgiven her. I realized I’d forgiven her long before she ever asked for it.

She’d hurt me. I’d exploded.

I shook my head. I hadn’t learned. No matter how much I’d tried to do what Helen would want, strived to make her proud of me, I fell short. Instead of hearing Eden out, putting myself in her shoes, or giving her even a sliver of a chance of explaining, I ran.

I left her to deal with Mason and the Belle Mar fallout without me. If I’d actually thought about someone other than myself, I would have realized she’d have never done what she’d done unless she felt backed into a corner. Instead of thinking, I just pulled the trigger.

Small towns passed by my windows as I grew angrier with myself and then calm with resolution at intervals. By the time the downtown Birmingham skyline filled my vision, I’d long since resolved to do whatever it took to get her back.

I raced up Red Mountain, the early morning light straying through the bare trees along the top of the ridgeline. The Rochester home grew larger as I approached and my heart seemed to double its pace. I skidded to a halt in front of the door and propelled myself from the driver’s side.

I paused only for a moment to compose myself before ringing the doorbell. I heard the tones go off inside the house. I waited. No one came. I rang again and paced on the wide, low stoop. I weighed whether banging on the door was a good idea when I finally heard footsteps inside. The door swung inward, and I found Ms. Temple, sleepy-eyed and yawning. She woke considerably upon seeing me and flung herself at me.

“Whoa, what are you doing here?” I said and returned her embrace.

She pulled back and hemmed and hawed a bit. “Well, I, um, sometimes I stay over here now. But I could ask the same question of you! I’m happier than a clam to see you, but why the sudden change of heart?” Her solemn eyes, now happy, perused my face. “And you’ve lost weight. You look starved.”

“I haven’t been eating. Honestly, Ms. Temple, I haven’t been living.” I looked into the still-dark house behind her, even now seeking out a glimpse of Eden.

“I know what that feels like.” She shot a glance over her shoulder and up the stairs, no doubt toward Mrs. Rochester’s room.

“Is she here?”

“Eden? Yes. She’s upstairs as far as I know.”

I took a few quick steps into the house.

“Second door on the left,” Ms. Temple called at my back.

I wasn’t waiting any longer. I took the stairs two at a time, rushing toward either deliverance or dismissal. I hoped for the former. The stairs creaked under my weight, no doubt telegraphing that a visitor was in the house. I didn’t knock at Eden’s door, just swung it inward.

She sat up in her bed, sleep falling away from her face like snow off a sunny roof.

“Jack?”

I rushed to her bed and sat. Then I realized I didn’t trust my own voice. I nodded.

“It’s really you?” Her hands cupped my face. I placed my hands over hers, still warm from sleep.

“I’m sorry.”

She looked dumbfounded, sleep replaced with confusion. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the fuckup. I’m the one who ruined it all. I’m the—”

I stopped her litany of sins with my mouth on hers. She made a surprised sound before closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around me.

There it was. That feeling. The one you get when things have finally come back around and are
right
. I got the same feeling the day I was released from prison. This was a different sort of release, one that didn’t only affect my body, but my soul. I was no longer caged by fear, regret, or anger. Instead, I was set free.

She relaxed into me, surrendering sweetly to my kiss.

Someone cleared their throat. I broke our embrace and saw Adele standing in the doorway. She smiled so big that she did, indeed, look like the Cheshire cat favored by the Rochester women.

“Adele. We were just, um. Jack just came by to…”

I squeezed Eden’s hand. “I love your mother.”

Adele shrugged. “I knew that already.”

“And I love him.” Eden’s words took my breath away.

It seemed impossible, but Adele’s smile grew wider. “I already knew that, too.”

Ms. Temple showed up in the doorway and shooed Adele back to bed.