“We’re really going to do this.” I repeated my earlier question with conviction.
He grinned, flicking a quick look at our disheveled state. “I hate to be the one to tell you this, but we already are.”
I pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “Okay, but when we do tell him, we should probably not be half-dressed after having sex in his office.”
“Good point taken,” he said, sliding into action.
We scrambled to find our clothes. Luckily, our earlier haste worked in our favor. We grabbed the puddles of fabric nearby and were presentable by the time Philip strolled in with a mug of steaming coffee.
He paused on entry, and I was sure he had it all figured out. Drew’s hair was all rumpled and sticking up in back, a victim of my roaming, clenching hands. I was fidgeting in the corner, having completely forgotten how to stand still. I was sure my guilt must be written all over my face. Meanwhile, Drew’s expression was faintly challenging.
Seemingly oblivious, Philip sat down across from Drew. “So, how far did you get?”
“Not far at all, actually,” Drew said smoothly. “Something came up.”
Did the man have a death wish?
“Really?” Philip asked. “What was that?”
“Me,” I blurted out, desperate to turn the conversation away from Drew and me and our mutual distraction.
Both men turned to me with expressions of surprise.
“I was asking for his help with…with legal structures for small businesses.”
They stared. I took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Philip, but I wasn’t sure how you would react. I want to open my own dance studio. It’s been a dream of mine for a long time, and I’ve found the perfect place to lease.”
“A dance studio.”
“And the bright side is I won’t dance professionally anymore, which I know you’ve been asking me about.”
Philip turned to Drew. “She told you about this, and you didn’t say anything?”
“Well, it’s all rather recent,” Drew said carefully. “We’ve been discussing the ramifications of her branching out.”
I took it back: the man could be sneaky.
Philip turned back to me. “I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me. I would have supported you opening a studio, especially if it meant you didn’t hurt your knees as much.”
“Right. Well…I’ve also been thinking it’s time for me to move out.”
He scowled. “I don’t see why that’s necessary.”
“I know you don’t.” I sighed. “Should I even point out that Colin was living on his own when he was seventeen?”
“No. I didn’t agree with that either, but it’s totally different besides.”
“Because I’m a woman.”
“Because you’re my sister, and I have a lot of enemies.”
I softened, knowing he was only trying to protect me. That was what he’d told Drew all those years ago, and I knew he still thought that way, that his job was to keep his family safe at all costs. “I’ll be careful, Philip. But I can’t stay here forever. You know I can’t.”
“Is this because of—” He looked at Drew.
Drew opened his mouth, and I realized how much worse it would be if he spilled the beans now. Now, when Philip would surely attribute my desire to open a studio and move out to my desire for Drew.
In all honesty, they
were
linked—all wrapped up into a neat package labeled
Things Rose really wants but never had the guts to take
. Then Philip would blow up, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.
“Drew, I really need to speak to my brother alone. Would it be possible for you to excuse us?”
His eyes narrowed. He knew exactly what I was doing, and he could light the fuse with a few choice words. But he was too good for that. Too respectful—something that I found a real turn-on, considering the lowlifes I’d met in my past.
“Okay.” He shuffled the papers together from the coffee table. “I’ll work on these at home.”
Philip and he discussed their plans briefly before Drew left. His last look at me was a concession:
Fine, we’ll do it your way. For now.
I hated that he might think, even for a second, that I was ashamed of our relationship or that I wasn’t serious about him. But I had been locked up in the tower for so long. It would be a long, slow way down to the ground, starting with telling Philip about my plans.
I sat with Philip in the opposing armchairs. “I know you feel protective of me.”
His expression was stormy. “Protective doesn’t really describe it. Do you remember how I found you?”
How could I forget?
As they say, there are only two seasons in Chicago: winter and construction. When Philip turned eighteen, he found work for a small building company, but the judge wouldn’t grant custody of me to a punk eighteen-year-old who lived with a roommate to make rent. Then the company he worked for got in a bind—something about a city permit that wouldn’t go through. I never found out what Philip did to push it through, especially with the tiny amount of clout and money he’d had back then, but after that, he became known as the man who fixed problems.
With typical teenager shortsightedness, I grew to resent his freedom while I was cooped up under curfew. I stopped confiding in him, and he was hardly in the mindset to win over a surly teenager.
My boyfriend had gotten rougher, meaner…he was abusing me, though I still struggled to admit it. When Philip had shown up at the group home for a visit, I hadn’t been there in days. He went looking for me and found me passed out in my boyfriend’s bed from alcohol or drugs or whatever else. He’d lit into my boyfriend, and I was convinced he’d have faced a murder charge if he hadn’t been more concerned with getting me to a hospital, where I was pronounced to be fine.
“She’s lucky,”
the doctor had said.
“Well.” I forced a smile. “Everything worked out for the best.”
Philip snorted. “Too fucking late, in my opinion.”
Guilt had been written all over the judge’s face when Philip had applied for custody again. He had an apartment in a better part of the city by then, but we all knew it was because of that incident that the judge had awarded custody to him. And living with him, where he had sheltered me from the harsher side of life all these years, was the best thing that could have happened to me.
I’d been protected, allowed to heal and flourish without any pressure at all. Dancing had been a way to express myself and take back control of my body. This was the next step.
“I’m grateful you were there for me. I’ll always love you for that, but it’s time for me to leave.”
There was a long pause while he stared into the empty fire grate. “I know. I guess I’ve known for some time, but I’ve been in denial, because I like having you here.”
My chest tightened. “I like being here too, which is part of why it’s taken me so long to get to this point. But I’ll come back and visit.”
“You’d better. I want to hear more about this studio.”
“Of course I’ll be asking for your advice, seeing as you’re so successful in business. Albeit a slightly different industry.”
“Customer satisfaction, marketing. The same principles apply.” He nodded sagely. “And I’m going to be in charge of security.”
His brand of security in a dance studio? “It’s open for discussion,” I promised.
“There’s one more thing I need to ask you.”
I braced myself. “Shoot.”
“Perhaps it would be better if you did come to me with questions…and not Drew. At least, not to him alone.”
Oh God, I was being warned away right when I needed to tell him we were together. Considering I’d just gotten him to graciously accept the opening of the studio and my imminent move, this was so not the time to push for one more thing. But I couldn’t outright lie. Drew didn’t deserve that.
Caution slowed my words. “Why do you say that?”
“Well.” He grimaced slightly. “I normally wouldn’t divulge this, since I consider him a friend, but it’s different where family is involved. I know you’re simply using him as a resource, but the truth is, I think he has a bit of a crush on you.”
“I don’t— What?”
“For years, really. At first, I worried it might be reciprocal, but…” He shrugged. “It’s Drew, so he’s not going to push you into anything, but maybe it’s best not to meet with him alone. To lead him on, even unintentionally.”
Oh Lord.
He knew about Drew’s interest in me? And wanted to protect him. From me. I almost laughed.
“Anyway,” he said. “You have a business to start. When can I see this new studio?”
I considered telling him right then. What could I say?
Yes, he’s had a crush on me, and it’s reciprocal, and oh by the way, we had some bad sex just now on your carpet.
No.
It wasn’t just that I was worried about how he would take it. I didn’t want anyone to know yet. My relationship with Drew, whether just sex or something more lasting, was something rare and precious. If everyone knew, they would weigh in; they would change it; they might
ruin
it, and I couldn’t risk that.
Instead I cleared my throat. “Very soon. It needs some work before I can open.”
First, I wanted to show it to someone else.
Chapter Five
After showering for the night, I dressed in a cotton T-shirt and yoga pants. With a duffel bag slung over my shoulder, I headed downstairs. Trying to play it cool, even though I would’ve made the worst spy in the whole world.
“Rose?”
I backed up a few steps. My brother was sitting in the library, one leg slung over the other and a book open in his lap. “It’s late,” he said. There was no censure in his tone—there didn’t need to be. He was used to having his implicit curfew obeyed, and I was used to following it.
“Just meeting a friend,” I said, hoping I wouldn’t have to lie too much to get out of here. I wanted to come clean with Philip, but later. Once Drew and I were more solid, more sure, and not when I was on my way out the door to meet him.
He frowned. “What friend?”
“An old one.”
“Why are you dressed like that?”
“We’re going to work out together.” Sex was a form of physical exercise, right? Oh, I was going to hell for this.
He seemed to consider pressing the issue, but he finally turned back to his book. “Don’t come back too late.”
I mumbled something that would hopefully pass for agreement. If the night went according to plan, I’d come back very late. The plan was very simple. To have sex. Real, regular sex where something of his got inserted into something of mine. Dancing around the issue had been fun, but every ballet needed a climax.
My ballet studio slumbered in the shadows as I drove past. Drew’s condo was only a couple turns away, which was a lovely accident. A complete coincidence, or had I once heard that he lived near Lincoln Park? Was that why this studio had seemed so enticing? But no, it was perfect all on its own. This was plain old good luck. Serendipity to sweeten the pot.
Parking was dicey in this whole neighborhood, so I ended up across the street and one block away. The hems of my yoga pants grew soggy as I hurried along the sidewalk, but what really mattered was underneath.
The doorman smiled when I told him my name. He’d been expecting me, he said. I rode the elevator to the ninth floor.
Drew grinned as he opened the door. “Hey, you.”
“Hey back. You…gonna let me in?”
His grin remained steady. “Definitely. Just savoring the moment.” He waved me inside. “Never thought I’d see the day Rose Murphy showed up at my door.”
I stopped still at the sight of a fully laid-out dining table. The table itself was small, but its dark wood surface was almost completely obscured by two elaborate place settings, candles, and a low, rectangular arrangement of carnations.
“Wow.” I looked down at my yoga pants with their soggy hems. “I feel seriously underdressed.”
He waved a hand in dismissal. “Don’t worry about it.”
I looked dubiously at his slacks and rumpled shirt. Not a tuxedo, at least, but he clearly outshone me.
“I’m sorry, Drew. Honestly. I know I should have told him by now.”
“No, it’s okay. I understand why you haven’t yet. He’d just meddle. It’s nice to be with you…just the two of us.”
“That’s exactly it,” I said, relieved that he felt it too. The sad truth was that if he were looking for a woman with sophistication and charm, that wasn’t me. I was just Rose, the sister of Philip, the silent dancer on the stage. I still wasn’t sure what he’d found in me of value, but I had enough faith in him to know he had. With him, I was worth more than how I looked or whose blood I shared.
“Drew,” I said. “I’m not that hungry.”
“God, me neither.” His expression made the words a lie. He looked hungry…starving…dying for a sip, and I felt it too. Ragged inside, empty. Waiting for something to fill me up, and there was the hallway. His bedroom was only ten feet away. All I needed was courage.
“I have something to show you. But maybe more private.” I laughed a little, at myself. “Somewhere a little darker than this. I’m not sure I’m ready for a lit room yet.”
He didn’t laugh. His face was somber, the lines of his face traced in charcoal shadow. His eyes, though. They were full of compassion, brimming with gratitude.
Trust me, and I’ll never fail you
, they promised, while my heart beat with my answer. He’d always been asking, I realized, with those sexy, soulful eyes, but he’d only moved forward when the answer had changed to
yes
.
He took my hand and led me down the hallway. In his bedroom, he clicked on the bathroom light, lending a glow to the room. Enough to see by, as I stood in the middle. Enough to show him, as I toed off my sneakers and pushed down my pants. Years of professional dance training, but I lacked grace completely. I must have made the strangest striptease, yanking off my dumpy clothes. Hopefully the endgame would be worth it.
I stood still and allowed him to inspect me. Black lace pushed my breasts together, creating cleavage I was usually too small for. The sheer fabric of my thong rubbed against my smooth skin.
The light rained down on me, while he stood in the shade, his expression obscure.
“Is this okay?” My voice sounded anxious.