Tempting Miss Allender (Regency Rakes 3) (22 page)

“You say she leapt from a window into the Thames, yet she is scared of water?” Simon said.

The three noblemen were back on their horses, making their way through London. The day was cool and clear as around them people went about their business.

“Yes, and she managed to pull the boards free from the windows before that, by using a chair leg and then her hands,” Mathew said.

“Good Lord,” Daniel said. “I think you should marry this woman, Mathew. Having such a resourceful wife would be most helpful should you ever find yourself in a similar situation.”

Marrying Patience Allender was something Mathew had thought a great deal about as he watched her sleep, and although there were things that lay between them, he now believed they could be resolved and that he wanted her as his wife very much indeed. He wanted her, cared for her, and was sure that one day he would love her, if indeed he was capable of the emotion. Losing his brother had made opening his heart again a very difficult thing.

“Neither an acceptance nor a denial. How interesting, Lord Belmont.”

“Thank you both for your help today,” Mathew acknowledged his friends, deciding that a change of subject was called for.

“Most enjoyable morning,” the duke said. “Just say the word and I shall set Grandmother to spreading vile rumors about Winston. The man’s reputation will be shredded by nightfall.”

“I almost feel sorry for him,” Simon shuddered.

The duke’s grandmother was a formidable woman.

“And this is where I shall leave you, as I need to secure that ticket for Winston,” Daniel said.

Mathew shook the duke’s hand and then rode to his townhouse with Simon, as Claire and Louis would be there by now, visiting with the Allender family.

“I like her, for what it’s worth.”

“You have barely spoken to her. How can you know that?” Mathew did not pretend to misunderstand.

“I am a wonderful judge of character, but the real reason is that Patience will not let you have everything your own way.”

“Are you saying I do?”

“Most often,” Simon said. “You also seem to unravel slightly when she is near, which is also a good thing.”

“I am not a knee blanket, Kelkirk.”

Mathew was subjected to a look from his brother-in-law that he could not fathom.

“After Anthony’s death your sister said you closed yourself off as she did, but that unlike her you have never opened up again.”

That was exactly how he had felt for so long, but he had not believed that anyone else had noticed.

“Perhaps it is time to put your brother to rest now, my friend.”

“He died eight years ago.” Mathew’s voice had become flat and cold, like it always did when someone touched on the subject of Anthony.

“And yet the grief is still so raw.”

“Yes.” The word was a soft hiss, surprising them both that he had acknowledged his feelings.

“Mathew, your sister told me that you were not yet ready for this, but I think you are.”

“Ready for what?”

“Go to Anthony’s bedroom.”

“Why?” Mathew looked at his brother-in-law and saw the sympathy in his eyes.

“Because I believe it will help you.”

As they were turning into his driveway, Mathew did not say anything further. Instead he dismounted and handed the reins over to his groom, then made his way in through the open door with his mind on Simon’s words. What awaited him in his brother’s rooms other than memories?

“You promised me we would talk, but you went and saw him, didn’t you?”

Looking upwards, Mathew found Patience leaning over the railing, glaring down at him. Suddenly the day seemed brighter and he wanted to smile, but thought that it might be best not to, considering the scowl on her face.

“Stand back before you fall, you foolish woman.”

“Don’t change the subject. You went and saw Brantley!”

“Yes, and shrieking like a street vendor will not change what has happened,” Mathew said calmly, ignoring Simon’s snort. “Go and bring your siblings to my study, and I shall tell you all what has transpired.”

She clearly wanted to tell him to go to the devil, but also wanted to hear the news, so she simply sent him a last furious glare, then stormed away.

“It seems she is fully recovered from her ordeal.” Simon gripped his shoulder. “At least your life will not be quiet.”

“So it would seem,” Mathew said, then made for his study. He was seated behind his desk when the Allender family appeared, led by the eldest, who still had a fierce look in her blue eyes.

As Simon had said, she looked in good health considering yesterday’s adventures. Her eyes were clear, skin flushed, and dressed in pale blue muslin she look so beautiful he wanted to haul her into his arms and kiss her until they were both breathless.

“Please sit.” He stood and motioned them all into the seats before him. When they were seated, he went on, “The Duke of Stratton, Lord Kelkirk and I visited your cousin this morning in his lodgings. I explained that I knew what he had been doing to your family and if he did not leave England immediately then I would go to the magistrate and would also expose his perfidy within society.”

Patience gripped the arms of her chair as she leaned forward, her eyes on his face. “What are you saying?”

“As we speak, Brantley Winston is boarding a ship leaving England for America. He will not be returning, and if he does, he knows what awaits him.”

“I don’t understand.” Charlie had gone pale, his eyes now huge in his face.

“It’s over,” Lucy whispered, gripping her brother’s hand.

“Is it true? Can it really be over so quickly?” Patience had regained her feet.

Mathew nodded, and suddenly the Allender family were all moving toward each other, then huddling together, laughing and crying. He realized that they needed this time together, so he slipped quietly from the room. For so long they had lived with the threat Brantley had posed, and now suddenly that threat was gone. It would take time for them to fully accept that.

Mathew wasn’t sure what urgency drove him, but he suddenly needed to reach the third floor. His heart thumped madly as he took the stairs two at a time until he stopped before the closed door. This had been his brother’s room, and Mathew had not entered it since his death.

He realized that his hand was shaking as it gripped the handle hard. He pushed the door open and let it swing wide as he walked inside.

He stopped abruptly in the middle of the room and turned in a slow circle. He saw his brother’s uniform lying across the bed and letters in a neat pile on the writing desk. Shoes sat neatly polished against a wall.

He heard a noise as his eyes fell on the portrait hanging on the wall between two windows, and knew that he had made it himself.

“Anthony.” He stumbled closer, until he was inches away. “How I miss you!” He traced the lines of his brother’s face and felt the pressure inside him build to almost an unbearable height. Just when he’d begun to fear there was no release, he felt the first tears begin to fall.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Patience had looked everywhere for Mathew. She owed him an apology and her gratitude, especially considering the result he had achieved. She could hardly believe that she and her family were free from their cousin’s threats. She felt lightheaded, the relief was so great.

“Excuse me, do you know where I may find Lord Belmont?”

“I saw him taking the stairs upwards, Miss Allender,” the maid said as she bobbed a curtsey.

“Thank you.”

She hurried to the stairs, picked up her skirts and climbed. She felt a strange tension inside her, and a desperate need to find Mathew.

Searching each floor as she went, she finally reached the third floor and made her way down the hallway until she came to a door that stood open.

“Mathew?”

He didn’t turn to face her as she said his name; instead, his eyes remained on the portrait of Anthony he was standing before. Stepping into the room, she moved slowly, her eyes on his back, watching the deep, heaving breaths he drew.

“It is a wonderful likeness.” Patience had last seen Anthony when he was just a boy. The painting had captured his smile and the laughter in his eyes and face. “I remember that smile. He would simply walk into a room, and seconds later everyone was smiling too.”

“I miss him.”

The words were gruff. She heard the tears in Mathew’s voice and swallowed back her own.

“I came in here to shout at you for leaving without me this morning, then to thank you for doing what you did for my family. Now it seems I must forgo the shouting for another time.”

“I would appreciate it.”

“Grieve for him, Mathew…please.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him close.

“I am trying,” he rasped. “But it hurts.”

“I remember you used to compete with each other all the time, even over who drank their tea quickest. It was a constant source of amusement for me and Lucy.”

He listened as she talked of her memories of the Belmont brothers until slowly the rapid thud of his heartbeat eased and the tension in his limbs drained away.

She didn’t resist as he pulled her around his body and against his chest so he could wrap his arms around her and rest his head on her shoulder.

“Do you remember when Anthony dared you to get into Mr. Peats’ sty and you pulled him in with you, and you both rolled around in the mud? Then you chased Claire, Lucy and me all the way back to your house.”

“I’d forgotten that.”

“You must speak of these things, Mathew. You should not forget the time he was in your life.”

“In the beginning it just seemed easier on everyone that I did.” His breath brushed her hair.

“It was not easier on you, though, was it?”

“I thought I was dealing with it in my own way. Yes, it hurt deep inside me, but I was living with it…at least I thought I was until you came back into my life.”

“Will you tell me about Louis, Mathew?”

He was silent for a while before saying, “It is not something I am proud of, Patience.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“I dealt with Anthony’s death by locking everything inside me. I became cold and unfeeling, and then Claire got a note telling her that Anthony had left something behind in France. When she found out it was a child, I forbade her from leaving the house because I believed it was trickery. She went against my wishes, and with Simon’s help, they retrieved Louis from his uncle, who was a sailor.”

“Dear Lord.”

“I still feel the guilt over that, and shutting Claire out of my life.”

“Why did you shut her out of your life?” Patience remembered that Mathew had always loved his sister very much.

“Because she and Anthony grew close when I became head of the family after Father’s death, and we drifted apart. Then when he died, she turned to Mother and away from me.”

“Oh, Mathew.” Patience looked up at him. “Surely holding that much pain inside you has been difficult.”

“Am I the only one?” He touched her cheek. “Haven’t you locked things away inside you, too?”

“We are not talking of me.” She brushed his words aside.

“But one day soon we
will
talk about you,” he said, then kissed her cheek before continuing. “I had reached the stage where if anyone mentioned Anthony’s name I would feel a pain in my chest, so I stopped talking about him and so did everyone else.”

“Yet your mother and sister kept this room with all his things, so they obviously spoke of him.”

“Yes, and seeing this, seeing him in this painting, is making the pain in my chest ease.”

She saw that his eyes were red, and the ravages of grief lined his face.

“Oh, Mathew, how could you be anything but hurt? He was your brother and you loved him very much. Were I in your position, my behavior would have been no different.”

“I did love him, Patience.” His eyes moved from the portrait to her. “I loved him, but I could never really show him. Even at the end it was Claire and Mother who comforted him. I tried. I would sit beside his bed and read to him, and when he slept I’d just watch over him, but I never held him like they did.”

“He knew you loved him, Mathew.” Patience cupped his face, then, standing on her toes, she brushed a kiss over his lips. “He once told me that he could not have wished for a better brother than you.”

“He said that?”

She saw hope flair in his eyes.

“Yes, and he said that he thought you were one of the best people he had ever known, and how proud he was to have you as his big brother.” Patience pushed his hair back as it fell over his forehead. “So you see, people express their love differently, but he loved you, and he knew you loved him, Mathew.”

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on hers.

“Since you came back into my life, you’ve made me think of him. The memories that I had locked away have slowly been filtering back into my mind, and at first I fought them, but now…”