Tender Deception: A Novel of Romance (2 page)

Dawn came at last. Raven brought her a breakfast of tea, toast and warm gruel. Then Dr. Glenn Marshall appeared in the doorway, black bag in hand. For the first time, she saw him clearly. He was a tall man who had to stoop to get through the doorway. He had large hands, a gangling frame that had never entirely lost its adolescent awkwardness, a thick, rumpled mass of sandy hair, and brown eyes that radiated kindness. She held onto his gaze, drawing courage from it.

“Well, Lilly, Raven tells me you and she had quite a conversation late yesterday,” he smiled. “That’s very encouraging.” He pulled one of the ladder-back chairs closer, turning it around to sit astride it, folding his arms on the back and resting his chin on his forearm as he studied her with a professional scrutiny.

“But something is very wrong with me,” Lilly whispered, tears rushing to her eyes. “I—I can’t remember anything about myself, not even my name.”

The doctor’s eyes looked serious and thoughtful.

“What’s wrong with me?” she demanded.

“Well, a lot has been wrong with you, Lilly. You were badly banged up when Henry Brownfeather brought you home. You were covered with first-degree burns and bruises. I’d guess that you had been wandering around in the desert for at least twenty-four hours, getting blistered by the sun during the day and half freezing at night. Among other things, you were suffering from a mild concussion and possible internal injuries. It’s not surprising that you’re dazed and confused. You see, there is a mechanism in the mind that rejects memories that pass a certain pain threshold of tolerance. It’s a defense mechanism. Perhaps the ordeal you’ve been through was so frightening and painful, your mind refuses to remember anything until the healing process is more complete.”

“When will that be?”

“That’s hard to say,” he murmured, spreading his large hands in a gesture of uncertainty. “My guess is that it will be a gradual process. Slowly, as your body heals and your strength returns, you’ll begin regaining bits of memories. It will be like putting a jigsaw puzzle together. A piece one day, another the next. Eventually, the whole picture will be complete. But I can’t predict how soon that will be. It could be a matter of weeks. It could take six months or more.”

Lilly’s eyes filled with fresh consternation. “If I have a family somewhere, they’ll be frantic.”

The doctor rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “You have no idea what happened to you, no memory at all of being in some kind of accident, or being beaten up?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.” Then she asked, “Didn’t I have any kind of identification?”

“All we found on you was the jewelry you were wearing. We showed you the gold locket. You also had on an expensive wristwatch, a dinner ring, a diamond, and a wedding band.”

“Wedding band!” she gasped. It was the key word that set off a tumult of emotions. She tried to sit up, but the doctor and Raven quickly held her back.

“Hey,” Doctor Marshall grinned. “Not so fast. You need to take it easy a few more days.”

“But if I was wearing a wedding band, I must have a husband somewhere—perhaps children. I have to get word to them.”

Then a fresh horror assailed her. “What if we were together in some kind of accident out on the desert? What if my family is lying out there, injured, needing help—?”

The doctor’s large, strong hands held hers, trying to soothe her. “Lilly, as soon as we found you, we notified the State Department of Public Safety. They searched the desert where you were picked up and found no one else. Whatever happened to you, happened to you alone.”

But she was not reassured. Perhaps no one else related to her had been involved in whatever unimaginable catastrophe had befallen her. But nevertheless, her wedding band was a mute link with her forgotten past. Somewhere she must have a husband. How could she get word to him if she couldn’t even remember her name?

Seeing the fresh consternation in her eyes, Dr. Marshall squeezed her hands again. “Lilly, you won’t accomplish anything by worrying yourself into a state of emotional exhaustion. Right now you need to relax and rest so you can regain your strength.”

The warm comfort in his grip soothed her, calming her panic. Gradually, she relaxed. Then another concern flashed through her mind. She touched the gauze on her face. “All these bandages. My face must be a mess....”

“You’ve had some injuries there,” he admitted, rising from his chair. “But we’re not going to worry about that, either, at this point. The human body has an amazing ability to heal itself. Now, you’re in good hands here with the Brownfeather family, Lilly. And Raven is an excellent nurse. I’ll drop by in a few days and check on you again, although I’d say from now on it’s simply going to be a matter of convalescence.”

After he left, Raven brought some items tied up in a silk bandanna. She untied a knot and laid out several pieces of glittering jewelry on the bed. “These were all we found on you besides the clothes you were wearing. I thought you’d like to have them now.”

Lilly looked at the diamond encrusted wristwatch, the rings and the locket. She felt Raven’s searching gaze as she touched the objects one by one. She thought that the young Indian woman was watching her, hoping the jewelry would open the door to her locked memory. But it was as if she were looking at these personal items for the first time in her life.

Raven said cheerfully, “Well, I have some chores to take care of. If you need anything, you can call me with this.” She placed a small, silver bell within easy reach and left the room.

Lilly welcomed some time to be alone. A painful lump filled her throat as she gazed at the small pile of jewelry. If only these things could speak. They could tell her who she was. But they mocked her with glittering silence.

She held up the wristwatch, studying it. A shaft of sunlight struck the diamonds and sprinkled a shower of light on her pillow. The watch must have cost a fortune.

Then she looked at the diamond engagement ring and thought it was worth a ransom.

She was moved by the honesty of the simple pueblo family who had taken her in. How easy it would have been for Raven’s father to have put all the jewelry in his pocket and then claimed someone else had stripped the valuable items from her before he found her!

The jewelry couldn’t speak to her in words, but it did tell her one thing very clearly. She must have lived in wealthy circumstances. The man who gave her the engagement ring must be a successful person. It was difficult to use the words “my husband” in her mind. No matter what kind of life they had shared before, no matter how intimate they had been, how their days and nights had been entwined, her husband was now a stranger to her. That was a shocking and desolate truth not easy to face.

She examined a dinner ring heavy with stones that made it every bit as costly as the engagement ring. Finally, she came to the gold locket. The instant she touched it, a flood of emotions swept over her. It was as if the pendant were a talisman, linking her with an event out of the past that reached deeply into her heart. She could tell at a glance that it was not nearly so expensive as the rings and watch. It was merely gold-filled. The inexpensive gold coating was worn thin on the chain, indicating that she had worn it constantly for many years.

It was a simple, heart-shaped design, an item that could have been purchased from a discount jewelry chain store. Yet it must have meant a great deal to her.

She turned it over and read the engraving,
“To Lilly With Love. J.”

She stared at the letter “J” for long, painful moments, groping in the shadows for this person who had been so important in her life. Finally, she snapped the locket open. Two small photographs were contained in the heart-shaped enclosure. One was a young woman with a cloud of blonde hair and deep blue eyes. She looked at the picture seeing a stranger, yet seeing herself. Yes, the picture was of her. She couldn’t understand why she knew this, but she
knew.
She might have forgotten everything else about herself, but she recognized her own face. The picture told her that she had above-average good looks with a facial structure that had delicate bones, a slender nose, wide mouth. She appeared happy and carefree in the photograph. Her eyes were alight with joy. The woman in the photograph had long eyelashes and well-defined eyebrows under a smooth, broad forehead. Her cheekbones were etched above shadowed cheeks, her jaw line clean, her chin slightly cleft. She appeared quite young in the photograph, but it might have been taken several years ago; it was somewhat faded.

It gave her an eerie feeling to be staring at her own likeness, yet seeing the face of a stranger.

What was she like? What kind of person had she been? Did she have good morals—or bad? Was she religious? Had she been wicked? Did she like outdoor sports, or prefer a more sedate life? What kind of education did she have? What were her friends like? Was she an optimist, or did she worry a great deal? Was she healthy, filled with energy, or did she have medical problems? Was she gregarious, shy, extroverted or a private person? Did she skip breakfast, read the comic strips, have a favorite color, drive a car, have bad dreams, sing off-key?

The questions rose in a sudden, engulfing tide that overwhelmed her. Her heart pounded. Her eyes burned with unshed tears of frustration and bewilderment. She felt very confused. Her thoughts were so jumbled, so chaotic.

Then she turned her attention to the other photograph in the locket. It was the picture of a young man with brown eyes, unruly blond hair that tumbled over his forehead, and a broad, infectious grin.

Seeing the two young, smiling faces made her think of the phrase, “Our hearts were young and gay.”

But the locket was worn and the pictures were faded.

“Who are you, ‘J’?” she asked the young man’s picture through her tears. “I think I must have loved you a great deal. What part did you play in my life? Are you someone I loved and lost? Did we have a happy love story together, or did it have a sad ending?”

Was “J” her husband?

Somehow, she didn’t think so. The man who gave her the costly watch and the expensive rings would not have given her such a modest little locket.

Staring at the locket brought no answers. It only made her feel sad.

She turned her attention again to the rings. The swelling in her fingers had gone down so she was able to slip them on. She spread out her left hand, gazing at the engagement and wedding rings. What was her husband like? Did he love her? Did she love him? Was he still living...or was she a widow?

Only questions. No answers.

More questions. She had avoided asking herself this question because of the pain involved, but she could not hide from it forever. Did she have children? They would be heartbroken, missing their mother, perhaps by now thinking her dead.

She was overwhelmed by the multitude of agonizing questions. Her tired brain refused to cope with them any longer. A feeling of indescribable weariness spread through her. She closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep of mental exhaustion.

Later that day, she met the other members of the Brownfeather family. Raven’s parents, Dawn and Henry Brownfeather, were shy, dignified people. Their bronze faces were stoic, but their brown eyes showed a kindness and concern for her. She made what seemed a totally inadequate attempt to thank Henry Brownfeather for rescuing her from a horrible death out on the desert, but he gruffly waved aside her thanks. “I did nothin’—just threw you in the truck and brought you home,” he muttered.

Both Raven’s mother and father spoke with a heavy accent. Raven, however, spoke perfect English.

Her brother, Luke, who appeared to be a few years younger than Raven, was a handsome, happy-go-lucky young man who grinned and kidded a lot. His eyes sparkled with mischievous highlights. Lilly suspected that he must be the target of many coquettish glances from the young women in the village.

Lilly found her appetite returning. When Raven brought her supper tray, her mouth watered at the delicious fragrances wafting her way from the bowls.

“Doctor Glenn said it’s time to take you off mush and gruel and serve you some good, hearty Indian food,” Raven grinned.

“It smells heavenly,” Lilly said.

Raven helped her sit up, propping extra pillows behind her, then placed the tray on her lap.

“There’s garbanzo stew, green chili, Pueblo bread, and rice pudding,” Raven explained. “Be careful with the chili. It has chili peppers. I told Mother to go easy with them, but she’s used to cooking her own way.”

“Umm. This bread is delicious,” Lilly murmured after her first bite.

“Yes. We still bake it outdoors in the
hornos
, the adobe ovens. It just doesn’t taste the same if you make it in a modern stove. I tried baking some in my oven in my apartment in Albuquerque. It was a disaster,” she laughed.

Lilly gave the dark-haired girl a curious look. Raven seemed at ease in her simple cloth dress and moccasins, and yet at the same time, out of place in these surroundings.

“You live in Albuquerque?” Lilly asked.

“Yes. I’m a nurse at a hospital there. I went to college in Albuquerque. Right now, I’m home for a vacation.”

“Some vacation,” Lilly murmured ruefully. “Having to spend your time nursing me.”

“But I like taking care of sick people. I have hopes of maybe becoming a doctor some day. So, you see, it’s really been a pleasure being able to help you. I’m just glad I was home when Dad found you.”