Tender Is the Storm (17 page)

He didn’t turn around to look at her, but she heard him laugh. “What? Be faced with wanting us both?”

She didn’t dare answer that. But she did feel a little vindictive after all he had put her through. “You know, there is a little of you in Lucas. I’ve found that out. But there’s none of him in you. Go away, Slade. Leave us alone.”

Sharisse was sitting at the kitchen table when Lucas and Billy rode in late that afternoon. She had a jug of brew before her, though she had no idea what it was. She had gone to Willow and asked her for something to calm her nerves, and Willow had complied, though with misgivings. Sharisse didn’t care what she was drinking, because, with her cup near empty for the second time, she was calm.

When she saw Lucas standing in the doorway, all she could see was those cursed moccasins, and her heart plummeted, as she thought Slade was back. But this was Lucas. No more comparisons.

“You got back early,” she commented.

“Actually, I’m late,” Lucas replied, his gaze falling on the jug. “Hey, is that Billy’s mescal you’re drinking?”

Sharisse smiled. “I don’t know what it is. It’s not bad after the first few sips. And you can’t be late. Mack’s not back yet, and he said he wouldn’t be long.”

Lucas frowned. “Are you all right, Sharisse?”

His concern warmed her. “Well, of course. Why shouldn’t I be?”

“Willow said Slade was here.”

“Yes, your dear brother did pay us a call. But you know, Lucas, I think I might have misjudged Slade. He’s not such a bad sort really. Why, he didn’t rape me or kill me or anything.”

Lucas burst out laughing. “You’re drunk!”

“I am not!”

He pulled her to her feet, catching her around the waist. “This is not the kind of reception I was looking forward to, honey,” he told her huskily. “I’ve been thinking about you all day, but how can I take advantage of you when you’re like this?”

“Take advantage of me?” She frowned, then realization dawned. “Oh, that.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Well, sir, if you don’t, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Don’t what?”

“Take advantage of me. I insist.”

“Oh, well, if you insist.”

Sharisse squealed as he hefted her up onto his shoulder. He carried her straight into his bedroom and tumbled her onto the bed.

She held on to him as she fell, making sure he joined her. How wonderful it felt to have him there and not to feel guilty about what she was feeling. What she felt was fire in her blood.

“Oh, Lucas, I want you so much.”

Lucas tensed. “He does it to you every time, doesn’t he?” he asked, eyeing her carefully.

“Don’t. Don’t mention him,” she pleaded. “It’s you I want.”

His eyes searched hers for a long time before he answered, “Yeah, I guess you do, don’t you?”

He began kissing her, and she knew it would be all right. All she could think about was him, the heat of his mouth, the feel of his body pressing against her.

But he stopped suddenly, listening.

“It’s only Mack returning,” she said as she heard the hoofbeats.

“There’s more than one horse, Sharisse.”

“Company?” Her spirits sank. “But if we don’t go out, they’ll leave, won’t they?”

“I left the front door open.”

“You don’t mean that whoever it is will just come right in?”

“Most folks do.”

They glanced together at the bedroom door. It was open, too. Lucas swore and got up off the bed.

“Come on.” He sighed. “You keep looking at me like that, and I’m going to shoot whoever is out there.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want you to do that, Lucas.” She giggled.

She turned away to straighten her clothes while Lucas went out into the other room. When she joined him, she was surprised to see Samuel Newcomb. Mack was with them, and another man.

Mack held out a letter to her. “Hope there was no trouble, ma’am,” he said. “Didn’t think I’d be gone so long, but I got sidetracked by an old coot
I ain’t seen in twenty years. We had us some reminiscin’ to do.”

Sharisse hardly heard him. She felt funny all of a sudden. Here was what she had anxiously been waiting for, her letter. But all she could think about was Lucas. Here was her escape, but there was Lucas. The sudden thought of never again feeling his wonderful hands bringing her body to life brought on panic.

“Will you excuse me, gentlemen, for a few minutes? I have been waiting a long while for this letter.”

“Sharisse!”

Lucas was annoyed at her rudeness in ignoring their guests, but she couldn’t wait. “I’ll only be a minute, Lucas,” she assured him, and fled to her room.

Sharisse put her head in her hands. Don’t despair, when there were no tickets and no money enclosed with the letter? Disinherited within a week? It had taken longer than that for this letter
to get to her. What did it all mean, that she couldn’t go home?

That she could never go home? Was she to be stranded there forever?

She sat, absolutely still, for a long time. After a while she heard Lucas open her door. “I think you better get out here, Sharisse. Sam has brought us a little surprise.”

She heard the tension in his voice, but she didn’t wonder about it. She was beyond coping with anything further. She rose automatically and followed Lucas into the other room.

Lucas slowed his stallion as the ranch came into view. It was such a pleasant sight, the dawn sky behind it streaked with violet, purple, amethyst…all the shades of her eyes, he told himself disagreeably.

A spiral of smoke rose from Billy’s house, but from the main house there was no sign of life. Sharisse would still be sleeping. There was no reason for her not to be. When he’d left, he’d gone without telling her he was going.

He wondered what she thought about his desertion six days ago. That was certainly how she would view it, as desertion. That would determine the kind of reception he was in for. If she was angry, or even hurt, well, that was just the way it was. He had considered her feelings before his own when it mattered most. That was enough.

Lucas nudged his horse forward. The sack hanging by his leg moved, and he grunted. The cat was still alive then. He still couldn’t figure out why he had bothered with the damn thing. But he had
found it on a homestead outside Tucson where he stopped for water, and buying it from the farmer just seemed the thing to do. After all, it wasn’t as if he was bringing the cat for Sharisse. It was for Charley, that was all.

Lucas managed to get his horse settled in the barn without waking Mack. Then he let the cat loose and watched her run off to find a dark hiding place. Well, Charley would sniff her out soon enough. Right now he had his own female to deal with.

Charley growled the moment Lucas entered Sharisse’s room, but it didn’t take him long to smell the female cat on Lucas, and he changed his tune. Sharisse didn’t wake even when he shooed Charley out of the room and closed the door again.

He had time to study her as she lay there unawares, to marvel at her beauty. The effect she had on him was instantaneous, and he didn’t try to fight it. But seeing his ring on her bedside table cooled him off just as quickly.

Disgruntled, he sat down on the bed with a bounce intended to wake her. It did.

“Lucas?”

Was that pleasure in her voice? No. That was the voice of an irate woman. Good. Why should he be the only one upset?

“How’ve you been, honey?” he asked.

“How have I been?” Sharisse gasped. She came off the bed, grabbing her robe, and moved well away from him. “How dare you ask me that after what you did?”

“All I did was take off for a while.”

“I wasn’t referring to that!” she snapped. “You can take off again for all I care. You tricked me, Lucas. I would have thought that ridiculous ceremony was nothing but a dream if Mack hadn’t called me Mrs. Holt!”

“So, that really was panic I detected in you when I introduced you to the preacher. And here I convinced myself you were only surprised.”

His sarcasm gave Sharisse pause. Oh, why did this confrontation have to take place now, when she wasn’t even fully awake yet? She hadn’t meant to reveal her true feelings to him, only to confirm what she suspected—that he had been even more upset than she was when Samuel Newcomb brought them a preacher.

“It
was
only surprise, Lucas,” she said in a more reasonable tone. “But I don’t like being taken advantage of.”

“I believed the word you used was ‘tricked.’”

“Well, how else should I feel?” she said defensively. “I wasn’t myself that day, for one thing. I had been drinking that foul concoction of Willow’s. I’d been frightened out of my wits by half a dozen Indians, not to mention your brother. And on top of that…well, never mind,” she quickly amended. “Heavens, I can’t even remember half of what took place that day.”

“What difference does it make? There was little choice involved, what with the preacher standing right there. You do recall that, don’t you? Or was the time and place more important than your reputation?” She turned her back on him in a huff, and he said derisively, “No, I thought not.”

Lucas glared furiously at her back. She might not have had any reasonable choice, but he’d had one. He could have kicked Sam and the preacher off his land, as he wanted to. But oh, no, he had thought of Sharisse first, Sharisse and her damned sensibilities. He simply couldn’t bring himself to shame her in front of Sam by refusing to marry her. What a gentleman he was.

Marrying her wasn’t what infuriated him, though. It wasn’t a legal marriage, anyway, unless he chose to honor it. She didn’t know that, of course. He was enraged because he had lost control of the whole situation.

Damn Newcomb and his meddling. The bastard thought he was doing them both a favor by bringing the preacher out to the ranch, but all he’d done was complicate Lucas’s plans all to hell. And after six days of mulling it over, Lucas still didn’t know how to handle things. Damn!

Maybe it would be better if Sharisse just stayed angry with him. It would certainly make it easier on both of them when they finally parted.

“You know, Sharisse, your attitude leads me to believe you didn’t want to get married.”

His speculation, which was all too true, made her simmering temper boil over. “How can you say that?” she retorted, striding toward him, arms akimbo. “Didn’t I come here to get married? Don’t I have the right to get upset when sudden changes occur? You did tell me I would have time to adjust, time to get to know you. You told me that. And I had been here a mere five weeks when we were married!”

“I think you got to know me pretty well in that time,” he taunted.

Her color rose. “That is not the point,” she insisted. “Besides, if anyone’s attitude leaves something to be desired, it’s yours. You can’t deny you were angry that day, Lucas. You were so angry you left right after the preacher did, without so much as a good-bye. And you’re still angry. I would really like to know why.”

Lucas stared her straight in the eye. He could do one of two things. He could placate Sharisse and put their relationship back the way it was, or he could be honest for a change, which would set her against him completely. The one would benefit him, the other her.

For her sake, there was only one choice. With studied indifference, he said, “If I seem a little out of sorts, it’s simply because I never had any intention of marrying you, Sharisse.”

She stared at him in utter, silent disbelief.

“What?”

“It’s true.”

Sharisse felt sick. All the years of feeling unattractive because of her height and coloring crowded in on her.

“I don’t understand, Lucas. I…I know you thought maybe Stephanie was your bride, but you said it didn’t matter. Now you say it does matter. Why didn’t you send me back immediately if you found me so unacceptable?”

The pain in her eyes tore at him. She was supposed to be angry, not hurt.

“Damn it, you’ve got it all wrong,” he said
quickly. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Sharisse. Why, I’ve never known a woman more desirable than you. I just didn’t want a wife—any wife. It’s nothing personal.”

“But you advertised for a wife.”

“So I did.”

“With no intention of marrying her?”

“That’s right.”

“Why?” she cried.

“That, honey, is none of your business.”

“None…oh!” She turned her back on him again, only to swing back around. “You seduced me without honorable intentions!”

“I didn’t hear you complaining.”

She slapped him, and she would have again if he hadn’t grabbed her wrists. “You’re despicable, Lucas!”

“Perhaps,” he sighed. “But now let’s talk about you and who you really are.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “What…what do you mean?” she asked warily.

“Think about it. When a woman claims to be a widow, it stands to reason she’s no longer a virgin. How do you explain the fact that you were?”

“You knew?” she gasped. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Lucas shrugged. “I didn’t want to embarrass you.”

“Oh, but it’s all right to embarrass me
now
because I’m your wife?”

She was too angry to let him turn the tables on
her after what he had just admitted. Guilt over her own deception vanished in light of his.

“Let go of me, Lucas,” she demanded icily.

“You going to keep your hands to yourself?”

“You deserved that slap.”

“What I deserve and what I’ll stand for don’t always match, Sharisse,” he told her brusquely. “And we were talking about you.”

He released her, and she rubbed her wrists as she glared at him. Her mind was racing, searching for a way to assuage his curiosity without confessing.

“Lucas,” she began with fine hauteur, “if a man is less than honest, he tends to be skeptical of others.”

“Given a good reason, he does indeed. Your supposed first marriage is very much in doubt.”

“Did it ever occur to you that my husband might have had a problem? That he couldn’t consummate our marriage? It was unfortunate, but not all men are as healthy and virile as you. I felt no less married because of that.”

Lucas grimaced. Lord, she really was the innocent victim all the way through this. He was going to have to reevaluate the way he thought of her all over again. And damn, he could see it already, the guilt piling up and him doing something foolishly noble to make it all up to her.

“If you want an annulment,” Lucas offered quietly, “it’s possible under the circumstances.”

“Of course I do,” Sharisse said stiffly. “You don’t think I would stay here with a man who doesn’t want me.”

He gazed down at the floor. “So be it. But in the meantime, you will stay here. And if it’s to be the easy way, annulment instead of divorce, then you better stay the hell away from me, because there was never any question about my wanting you.”

There was a silence, and then she said, “Why can’t I leave now?”

“I’m broke, Sharisse. I can’t afford to send you anywhere, let alone all the way back to New York. New York is where you want to go, isn’t it?”

“Yes. How long, Lucas?”

“What’s your hurry? You did come here to get married, remember?” he flung at her. “Consider yourself married for the time being, okay?”

“I find our situation intolerable,” she said flatly.

“You think I like it? I’d just as soon shut you up with kisses, but I’m not going to add to the injuries I’ve already done you.” He stood up and went to the door. “But the reason I needed you here still exists, and now that we’re married, it would cause too many questions if you left right away. You’ll just have to wait this out with me, Sharisse.”

“You won’t tell me the reason?”

“No.”

“Then go, Lucas. And please have the decency not to set foot in this room again.”

He left, sorry he had hurt her, aching to make love to her, full of sorrow and regret.