Tenure Track (55 page)

Two other bits of information stood out: the only record of any arrest she could find was the night Ralph had taken him to jail. He had paid a fine and been on probation for the possession charge, but otherwise served no time and had no known arrests since then. The motto listed on his Web page was “Let the Good Times Roll.” From what she could tell, his life had not been tragically altered because of his experiences with her. Who knows? She may have inspired him to clean up his act. But that was just a hypothetical, like asking if World War II could have been avoided.

She was relieved to know that Scott had turned out relatively okay. For a split second, she was tempted to contact him and apologize, but what good would that really do? And how far should she go? Would it really be fair to call up a guy and say,
“Remember me, the old girlfriend who got you thrown in jail and kicked out of school? Well, I also aborted your child that you never knew existed.”
No, it was better to let that sleeping dog lie.

Looking up from the computer screen, she studied the photograph of her mentor, as if Gerda Lerner was speaking directly to her: “The only thing one can learn from history is that actions have consequences and that certain choices once made are irretrievable.”
Certain choices.
Not,
all
choices. There were many of her own actions that Jane could not change, but there were some that she could alter, such as the ramifications of her past on the present.

Chapter 29

Penance and Redemption

The sounds of buzzsaws and hammering filled Hammond as a crew of three men worked feverishly to renovate Dr. Stevens’s new office. Jane felt very proud to have gotten the work going so quickly, bureaucracy-wise, so that Sheila could move in before summer break. Others complained loudly about the noise, met only with the signed work order authorizing the intrusion.

In the midst of the noise, Jane peeked in to check the progress. It was a much better workspace: twice as large, brightly lit by a row of windows, in contrast with the cramped, windowless cave Sheila had endured for two years. The few modifications still needed mainly involved lowering bookshelves, though Jane had also requested a new paint job. As she admired the effort, she noticed one worker installing a video camera high in a corner of the ceiling. When she inquired about it, he produced a second work order, signed by Dr. Stevens herself.

“
Checking our progress?” Sheila asked. Amid all the hammering and buzzing of saws, Jane had not heard the whirling of Sheila’s motorized chair wheel up behind her.

“
Very nice,” Jane commented. “It looks like they’re about done. I see you requested a camera.”

“
That is a security option, is it not?” Dr. Stevens asked. “This one is linked to my medical alert system, designed to turn on and notify security if I hit my alarm. Just a precaution, should I take an unfortunate misstep.” She fingered the monitor dangling around her neck. Jane had never even thought about using the system for such emergencies, but it made perfect sense.

“
I don’t mind big brother watching for my own well-being,” Sheila explained.

Just then, Lewis and Blanca walked up, each carrying a box of items from Dr. Stevens’s old office. Neither paid much attention to Jane. “Just set those down there,” Sheila said, motioning to a spot outside the door.

“
Yes, Ma’am,” both replied in unison.

Lewis exchanged Spanish conversation with one of the workers, then turned to translate for Dr. Stevens. “He says they’ll be done by this afternoon, but you’ll probably want to keep the windows open for a few more days because of the paint smell.”

“
Thank you, Lewis.”

“
You want me to grab some more stuff, Sheila?”

“
Yes, please.”

Jane was flummoxed by the friendly vibe she was getting from the threesome in the room, but rather than dwell on her outsider status, she resolved to take the opportunity to begin her atonement. While Sheila and Blanca remained in the room sorting through boxes, Jane followed Lewis down the hall and into the old office, where he continued to ignore her while loading another box with books.

For days she had been thinking about what she could say to clear her conscience. “Lewis, I think we need to talk,” she began.

“
Okay, shoot,” he said, continuing his packing.

“
I think I owe you an apology.” She paused a moment to catch her breath. “I let my judgment on your situation get clouded by other issues and I may have overreacted. I’m still willing to go to bat for you with the tenure committee if you’ll stay on.”

He stopped his packing. “Thanks for offering, but there’s no point. I told you, I don’t care about tenure. Mandy doesn’t want to stay here for law school, so we’ll be gone in a year. But it’s nice of you to offer. So you want me to teach next year?”

“
By all means,” she said. “I’ll handle any resistance from the administration. You’re really sure about this?”

“
Oh, yeah,” he assured her, returning to his task.

She took a good, long look at him. There was something different about his manner, an air of confidence and security that she had not witnessed in all the years she had known him. “You seem so at peace about this, Lewis. What’s your secret?”

He paused, then chuckled. “You probably wouldn’t believe it.”

“
Tell me, please.”

He sighed and smiled. “Let’s just say, my mother gave me some very good advice.”

She looked perplexed. “I’m sorry. I thought your mother was deceased.”

“
She is,” he said, “but she’s still with me. You see, I have this window in my home, from an old church. I dunno, sometimes I feel like it gives me spiritual guidance. When I needed some advice, I prayed to the window and heard my mother’s voice, clear as the day, kind of . . . leading me down the path I should follow. Intellectually, I know it was just the memory of her reciting her favorite Bible passage, but the words came back just when I needed them to.”

Jane caught her breath at the beauty of his imagery, finding it no more strange that his mother would speak to him through a window than she found it that Gerda Lerner spoke to her through a photograph.

“
It’s like, part of me has been stuck since my parents died. Stuck at the age of twenty. So Mandy’s already surpassed me. I just need to catch up. Who knows if we’ll make it in the long run,” he admitted. “I’ve learned never to count on forever, but I know, for now, we’re good together, and I’m not afraid to follow that adventure wherever it leads. No regrets.”

Jane wished she could say the same. As she left Lewis’s company, an idea occurred to her about how she might be able to make amends for some of her regrets.

That afternoon, Jane called Chief Ralph Acevedo, Jr. to discuss security improvements for her department. Within days they had an approved directive ordering the immediate installation of video cameras within all History faculty offices, beginning with those that had already experienced break-ins. She gladly intervened when a red-faced Henry Gould berated the poor maintenance man who came to install the first camera in his office. For added enjoyment, she asked Lewis to interpret during the conversation just so that he could bask in the pleasure of seeing Horndog Harry taken down. All three faculty members knew the real purpose of the camera, but they feigned an intellectual argument over security versus personal freedom.

Jane was nonplussed. “You wanted better security, Henry,” she reminded him patiently as he demanded to know how the system worked.

“
It’s the law,” she reminded him. “Faculty offices are state property. The administration has the right to install such cameras for security purposes. If you don’t like it, you should take it up with the legislature. I have Rick Benedict’s phone number if you need it.”

As he ranted and raved about the insult to a long-standing faculty member like himself, she gently informed him that technology was the wave of the future. “If we oldies can’t adapt, it might be time for us to move on,” she suggested in her most respectful tone.

Horndog squinted his eyes as they faced off in the hallway. Lewis stifled a laugh as the title
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
flashed through his mind. He wished Clint could have been present for the confrontation.

The following week, Henry Gould announced his retirement.

As the semester drew to a close, Jane still had another phone call to make. This one was, in many ways, much harder than the one regarding the camera system because it required a reversal of strongly held principles she had maintained about the athletics program. She swallowed hard on her pride as she picked up the telephone and dialed.

“
Hello?” the voice on the other end of the phone answered.

“
A.D. Doss, Jane Roardan, Chair of the History Department. . . . Yes, it has. . . . I wanted to talk to you about those two football players who failed their History 315L midterm. . . . Yes, one of the assistant coaches had contacted the professor and myself about it. Well, I’ve been giving it more thought, and I think perhaps we can work something out. . . . No, I’m not talking about changing any grades. That wouldn’t be ethical, but I checked with the professor and he tells me that if either one of them completes a 5-page research paper with a passing grade, he’ll replace the midterm with that one. . . . Yes, I think it’s very fair. In fact, the professor is willing to have a couple of his graduate assistants tutor the players to help prepare them for the final.”

In reality, the professor did not think letting the two athletes replace the midterms with papers was very fair at all. Then Jane promised to let him arrange his teaching schedule next year so that he only had Tuesday/Thursday classes, predicated on the two football players making the minimum grade that they needed to retain eligibility. She did not ask him to cheat, just to make sure the students found a way to earn their “C.” Hence, the special help from the very people who would grade the final exams.

A.D. Doss responded just as Jane had hoped, with praise and many thanks. After a cheerful exchange of pleasantries—a rarity between them—she heard him offer the magic words: “Just let me know if there is ever anything I can do to return the favor.”

“
Well, actually . . . “ She then proceeded to tell him about this very industrious female basketball player who had not been recruited by the U., and was probably not good enough to make the team as a walk-on, but who was coming here anyway just to be near the women’s program. She wondered if there might be any opportunities for this student to serve as a training assistant to the women’s basketball team, so that she could work closely with the coaching staff. Within a week, the two football players had turned in “B” worthy papers and Dana received a personal telephone call from the winningest women’s basketball coach in the country, inviting her to help out with the team.

Dana was still riding the high of that telephone call as she carefully prepared for the final social event of the school year. She heard a soft knock on the door just as Perry was adjusting the line of her strapless pale blue sequined gown. “Honey, the boys are here!” her mother called.

“
Just a sec’!”

Jane opened the door slightly for a peek. She let out a deep breath of air as she took in the beauty of her child, looking more like a grown woman than ever before. They all had spent the afternoon getting her ready, having her hair done into a classic upsweep trimmed with small flowers, followed by a manicure and makeover at the mall.

“
Doesn’t she look like the cover of
Vogue
?”
Perry beamed, proud to have been included in this memorable day.
Jane glided over to zip up the back of Dana’s dress, gently smoothing down the fabric. She then carefully secured the clasp on the silver and pearl necklace that perfectly matched her favorite earrings from Bubbe.

Downstairs Dennis was welcoming Dana’s escorts, Chris and Duncan. While she still was not ready to publicize her sexual orientation, Dana had come out to Dennis’s pals, who readily accepted the news. While both were somewhat disappointed to know that neither would ever be able to fulfill their wildest fantasies with the woman of their dreams, they perked up somewhat upon realizing they could now fantasize about Dana making out with another girl. They were thrilled when she accepted their duel offer to escort her to the prom. They wore matching black tuxes with plaid vests and ties, while Dennis had chosen a classic Armani style and cut his hair into a trendy crew. Jane told him he looked just like George Clooney with glasses.

“
Oh please, Mom!” he blushed, as she straightened his tie.

Dennis was taking a girl from a cross-town school whom he had gotten to know through Quiz Bowl competitions. A limousine had just arrived to escort the three boys and Dana to pick up her brother’s date. Mark was still outside talking to the limo driver when Dana emerged from upstairs, to the collective approval of all the boys. “Whoa!” they recited in unison. Perry followed behind, humming the tune of “Here she is, Miss America.”

About one hundred photos later, the foursome was off, leaving three blubbering adults in their wake. Traditionally parents of the junior class helped chaperone the prom, while senior parents stayed up the rest of the night overseeing a lock-in and breakfast at a local entertainment center. Mark and Jane had a few hours off before taking their chaperoning shift at the lock-in.