Tess and the Highlander (19 page)

And then she cried even more, knowing she couldn’t
have him.

It was some time before she became aware of the
ridiculousness of her thoughts and pulled back. “I…I am...so sorry.
I don’t know what…what came over me.”

Colin tenderly lifted her chin until she was looking
into the deep blue of his eyes. “This is all part of settling the
past behind you, Tess. Seeing, remembering, and then letting
go.”

“Remembering and letting go are the hard parts,” she
said brokenly.

His thumb gently brushed away the wetness beneath
her eyes. “You need good memories of this place to replace those
others.”

“Nothing can wash away the nightmares from that
night. Nothing!”

Colin looked more closely into her face. “Would you
allow me to prove you wrong?”

“Allow you?” She gave a small laugh. “I would give
anything to have something good to—”

T
he next breath was caught in her
chest as
his lips crushed hers. Then she forgot to breathe.
For a mindless moment all she was conscious of was the consuming
fire that was racing through her. This kiss was so unexpected, and
yet so stunningly wonderful. She was afraid to move—afraid to
think—for the fear of breaking this magical moment.

Colin’s mouth grazed the skin beneath her
ear as her arms wrapped tightly around him. He kissed the hollow of
her neck. He could feel her pulse fluttering wildly beneath his
lips. There was so much that he wanted to tell her, about how he
felt and what she meant to him, about how he could think of nothing
else but her. But to his continued chagrin, Colin knew this was not
the time. She already had too much that she had to deal with here
at Ravenie.

His mouth returned to her lips, and he
kissed her again before pulling back. “Come with me, Tess.”

This time she walked with him into the bright,
sunlit courtyard. She already knew that she would walk with him to
the end of the world if he asked.

“Will you tell me what you have been hearing about
this place?” Tess asked.

Instead of taking her to the burned section of the
castle, he started toward the east tower.

“Forget about the place. Let’s begin with its
mistress. From all I heard down in the village, you were a wee
faerie sprite when you were young.” He gave her a devastating
smile, and one arm wrapped around her waist, pulling Tess snugly
against his side.

His smile was contagious, and Tess found
herself relaxing a little. They walked up steps hewn out of solid
rock.

“Now, what do you recall of where things are
here?”

Finally being here, it was amazing how much
of her memory was coming back. She told him what she could recall
of the castle. They walked through the kitchens, looked at the old
bread oven. She showed him the large stone trough for making bread
dough. Here, the damage from the fire had obviously been repaired
by the steward since, other than some blackened stones around the
doorway, there was nothing else indicative of the tragedy.

“I have a vague recollection of this place
with dozens of people bustling about and boys and dogs running in
every direction.” Tess moved away from him and ran her fingers
along the edges of tables and hearths. “I can almost smell the
bread in the morning. Robbie the cook, now I can almost see him,
waving his stick about like a chieftain directing his warriors in
battle. I also think that I wasn’t supposed to come here. I think I
was forbidden by my mother to roam around the castle by
myself.”

But Tess kept coming back. She was sure of
that.

“Maybe I can convince Robbie to tell me some more
stories of the mischief you got into when you were a wee
bairn.”

“I can save you the trouble.” She moved into his
open embrace. “I was a perfect child.”

Colin kissed her again. But this time it was only a
brush of lips—a teasing growl in her ear—before leading her into
the next section of the keep.

The Great Hall spread across the area between the
two towers. Two of the people who had greeted them outside came
over now, obviously delighted to see that Tess had stayed.

“I couldn’t let your mistress leave without showing
me around this place first.”

Tess was grateful for his explanation and for the
way he engaged the old pair by asking a series of questions about
the keep itself.

The Great Hall was older than she remembered, and
the years that she’d been away had not helped it at all. A heavy
blanket of dirt covered everything. There were birds nesting in the
rafters and surly dogs eyeing her from dark corners. She glanced at
the long trestle tables. Some of them were overturned and broken
up. She spied the remainder of one in the huge fireplace by the
dais.

Suddenly, the noise of the warriors coming back from
days on the road filled her head—the clatter of dishes—laughter—the
music of pipers. The warm amber light of torches and a log fire. A
piece of her childhood, Tess thought, a fragment of long forgotten
years. She wandered toward the dais.

The woven rushes on the floor were torn and filthy
and reeking with disuse. Huge sections were missing completely. She
looked for the colorful tapestries that once adorned the walls.
Most were gone, though the badly tattered remains of one still hung
between two windows. The Lindsay shield above the hearth was
missing, too.

A strong draft swept through the room. Tess rubbed
her arms to ward off the sudden chill…and then her gaze was drawn
to the hearth. In her mind’s eye, she could see herself—a young
child again—frightened and uncertain. Her nursemaid had forced her
to come downstairs and greet her father, who had been away for
months. She drifted into the past.

The large man was pacing impatiently before the
hearth. Though he wore no armor, she could see the stains of chain
mail and leather clearly inscribed on the padded black tunic. A
knot of fear tightened in her belly.

Sir Stephen Lindsay ceased his pacing as soon
as he saw her.

“
Tess!” he called out.

The young girl kept her gaze riveted on the
man’s heavily stained boots and wondered if the dark patches might
have been someone’s blood.

“
Come closer, child.”

Her feet would not move. Tess saw the laird’s
giant fist open and extend toward her in welcome. She shivered
involuntarily at the memory of the stories she’d heard from her
mother—stories of the furious killing of hundreds of men by these
same hands.

“
By the saint, my own Tess. Lord, you’ve grown so
much since I last laid eyes on you.”

He came across the rush-strewn floor, and
Tess’s eyes stung with tears. She had refused to see him the last
time he’d come to Ravenie Castle, and there had been a price to pay
for that. A young dog she had come to care for as her own had
simply disappeared when the laird had gone back to the wars. Her
father’s punishment for loving an animal better than her own kin.
Her mother had told her so.

“
I’ve good news for you, Tess.”

She stared at the boots moving closer, and
the tears uncontrollably rolled down her cheeks.

“
This time, I’m home to stay for a
while.”

The moment he laid a hand on her shoulder,
every inch of the young girl’s body went rigid. She bit her lip to
keep from running.

“
What’s wrong, lass?”

He crouched before her, and she glanced up
into his face. She wasn’t prepared for the hurt she saw in those
dark eyes that Elsie said were the exact match of her own.

“
Why are you crying?”

Tess winced when she saw his large hand
coming at her face. But the gentle brush of a callused thumb across
her cheek was another surprise.

“
I know you have not seen much of me, child. I’ve
been doing the king’s bidding for so long that you have every
reason to think me a stranger. I even have a wee suspicion that you
are afraid of me. But I plan to make up for the time we’ve missed,
Tess. I am…”

He continued to talk, but the young girl’s
attention was fixed on her father’s face. He didn’t seem too
frightening this close. She could smell leather and horses and salt
air, and found herself oddly comforted by the scents. And then
there was his voice, the way he was talking to her now. The gentle
hush of it stirred in her mind a memory of a time when she’d been
younger and he had been around more. She couldn’t remember ever
being terrified of him back then.

From the door of the Great Hall, her mother’s
exclamation was sharp “Theresa Catherine!”

“Tess?”

She jerked around and looked in confusion at
Colin for a moment. The castle workers were gone.

“What’s wrong, Tess?”

“We were here. My father…my mother. She was
angry because I had come down to see him.” She looked back at the
hearth. “I remember. He gave me a gift before I was sent back to my
room. He gave me the jeweled cross for my sixth birthday that was
the next day. He told me he would see me in the morning.”

Tess didn’t realize she was crying until
Colin’s arms wrapped around her. “They were all here.” She looked
up at him urgently. “I’m starting to remember.”

She glanced nervously at the doorway that
led to the west tower. “Will you come with me there?”

Colin’s hand enveloped hers tightly.

Her steps were sure when the two walked to the
ground floor of the tower. As they passed through the doorway and
moved into the tower itself, she found herself in a great open
space. Looking up, Tess saw that the upper floors were completely
gone. But she could still see the weathered stubs of floor timbers
protruding from the walls and the large fireplaces against the
blackened stone walls.

“Our bedchambers were up there,” Tess heard herself
explaining. Even as she spoke, the past began to unfold, and she
began to shiver. Pushing back the fears, though, she held tight to
Colin’s hand and continued. “It all started in the middle of the
night. I woke up scared, thinking I’d heard a noise. But I wasn’t
sure. There was a faint smell of smoke in the air.”

Colin’s strong arm wrapped around her shoulders. He
drew her against his side. “What did you do?”

“I picked up a candle and went into the corridor up
there.” She pointed. “There was the sound of a struggle coming from
the laird’s chambers next to my room. I saw the door open slowly on
its heavy hinges. A moment later, I saw my father step out. He
looked pale, his eyes black. He looked at me for an instant, his
gaze distant. He stretched his hand toward me, and when I reached
out…he pressed his brooch into my palm.”

Tess swallowed hard. All the fragments of the
nightmares came together now, and she drew a shaky breath.

“Then his sword dropped from his other hand, and he
tumbled forward at my feet. The hilt of a dirk was sticking out of
his back.” Involuntarily, she tried to step back. Colin’s arms
embraced her. “I screamed and crouched down at my father’s head.
Before I could touch him, the other man appeared in the
doorway.”

“You saw him?”

She nodded slowly. “I saw the man who killed my
father.”

“Did you know him?”

“He wasn’t anyone I knew.”

Colin looked into her eyes. “Would you recognize him
now?”

Tess hesitated for a moment, but then nodded again.
“His face was streaked with blood. She let go of Colin’s hand and
opened her fingers wide before them. “These two…these two fingers
were cut off. I think my father had done it, cut him…as there was
blood dripping from his hand.”

“Did he see
you
? Did he realize that you had
seen his face?” Colin’s tone had suddenly become urgent.

She nodded again. “Aye. He came after me—to kill
me—so I know he did. My nightmares have all been about running away
from this man.”

“Your life could very well be in danger because of
that.” Tess heard the quiet warning, and then she saw Colin’s hand
go unconsciously to his dagger. “He could very well have been a
Lindsay.”

“I don’t think he was, or I would have recognized
him.”

“There was no way you, as a child, would have seen
or recognized every Lindsay clan member. The man—the people
responsible for that night—could very well still be around
here.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I remember
that as I was being taken away that night, I was told that my
mother was in the same chamber as my father. That means that she
must have seen the killer, as well. But she survived and nothing
more happened to her.”

“That is, assuming she
was
with the laird. ‘Tis well known that your parents didn’t have the
best of marriages. She very well could have been in her own
chamber…or somewhere else.”

Tess couldn’t argue her mother’s whereabouts any
better than she could argue about the kind of marriage her parents
had.

“We have to get you out of here, Tess.”
Colin took her by the hand and pulled her toward the door. “My
worry right now lies not with what your mother saw, but with
keeping you safe. And standing alone within the crumbling walls of
this wing is anything but safe.”

“Lady Evelyn is her mother,” the laird said, “and
she is not unreasonable in ordering Tess to the Borders.”

“As her
mother
, one would have expected that
she would not waste time in seeing her.” Colin said heatedly.

“If you are saying she might have come to the
Highlands, then I say we don’t know her situation.”

“I don’t give a damn about her situation.
Considering the significance of the news, what mother would not
have started out instantly to see her
only
daughter.”

“Lady Evelyn’s letter says that she is jubilant at
having regained her daughter.”

“Some scribbling on a bit of parchment does not
sound like jubilance to me. And to whom was the letter addressed,
anyway? To you and not her own daughter. How can we stand by and
allow Tess to be…”