Tethered (20 page)

I opened the tattered and poorly wrapped package my parents had given me, displaying all  the brightly colored and questionable snacks they had sent. I sifted through them, contemplating if I should eat one of them, and pulled out some corn chips, which were in a yellow and orange package. As I opened them and reluctantly looked inside the bag, I noticed they really didn’t look that much different from corn chips on the shelves here. I put one in my mouth and was surprised to find out they even tasted the same as the ones here. It made me wonder, as I sat there with my feet propped up on my desk, if these were the same corn chips produced here. Hell, I bet they were made in the same factory and put in different packages.

“He was being such a dick to you, Jillian. You should just dump him already and go work with me,” Tara, my roommate Jillian’s friend said to her as they walked into the room, surprising me as I stuffed my face with Mexican snacks.

“Oh, hey, Natalie,” Jillian said with a smile as they walked in and situated themselves on her side of the room.

“I’m telling you, Jillian, you should just come with me sometime and check it out. I have everything done and paid for, and I never have to worry about a single thing,” Tara said, as if trying to convince Jillian to do something.

“I just don’t know, Tara. I mean, I love Steve and I would feel so bad doing that to him. Besides, I’m not sure I want to be with some old man.” Jillian shivered a little as if the thought disgusted her.

I sat up, trying to figure out what they were talking about. All I heard was something about things being paid for, and it obviously sounded like some kind of job. If a job was easy enough for Tara to do, then I wanted in…whatever
it
was.

“It isn’t just old men, Jillian. There are literally hundreds of guys, and Jerome picks through each guy and interviews them thoroughly. And it isn’t about sex at all!
It’s just companionship. Sure, there is some sex and you’ll definitely have to put out, but it’s also about going out to dinner, going to mature parties, and just being a companion. I’m currently seeing two older guys and between the two I am getting my tuition and bills paid for,” Tara said, still trying to convince Jillian to participate.

“Isn’t that just prostitution?” Jillian asked.

“No! They don’t pay me for sex in the slightest. I give them a relationship and companionship, and in turn, they take care of me. It’s just like being in a relationship or marriage and having the guy pay the bills or take you out and buy you things. You’re having sex with them, and you aren’t doing anything illegal. They don’t give me any money, they just pay off bills I need paid for and sometimes give me little presents in exchange for the time and attention I give them,” Tara said.

“What are you two talking about?” I asked curiously, trying to figure this all out.

“You wouldn’t be interested,” Jillian said, as if suggesting I wasn’t good enough to participate.

“Now, Jillian, don’t be rude. If she’s interested then we will talk to her about it! Jerome is always looking for new girls. He said business is booming and there aren’t enough girls to go around, so if a cute girl is interested then we should take her to see him,” Tara said.

Jillian still looked slightly annoyed. Either she didn’t want me to participate, or she didn’t want me to get involved and get hurt. I’ve always been a little more sensitive and pure than most girls my age, and she knew that. Maybe she was just protecting me in some weird way.

“Now, Natalie, are you interested?” Tara asked.

“Well, I mean, I could use the extra money, but I’m not sure if I would do a good job. I don’t really have much experience in the sex department—and I’m a virgin,” I said, unsure if I should even take this further.

“It isn’t about sex. There are five girls I know of that don’t even have sex with their guys. It really is about companionship. Some of the guys like sex, while others just want to spend time with a pretty girl because they are too busy to date anybody. Besides, it’s about time you lost that V-card,” Tara said with a smile.

“Tara, she’s too innocent to do this. Hell, she’s never even done oral with any guy. Do you really think that your friend will want her?” Jillian asked.

“I could do it,” I said, defending myself.

The truth was…I was a little interested, and the thought of having my tuition paid for was enticing. I hated that shitty job I had to do, and taking the money from the assholes that came into my store was getting rather old and stale. If I did this, even though I was scared, I could quit my job and still have everything paid for. My parents would think I was doing some great job with no student loans or bills, and I would have way more time to study. If I didn’t keep my GPA above a 3.7, I would lose my grants, and I couldn’t afford that. I definitely wouldn’t be able to stay at this school, and the thought of going to a community college or being stuck in that cashier position scared the hell out of me.

“Well, since you’re not interested because of Steve, I need to bring somebody to Jerome. I already told him that you’d be interested, but since that just went downhill, Natalie will have to do. Besides, we both know she’s super cute. I think Jerome could set her up with a guy that would really like her. She can get more free time, have her tuition paid down some, and finally lose that V-card,” Tara said with a smile, as if she were happy with the proposition.

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea, Tara,” Jillian said, obviously believing this was a horrible idea still.

“We’ll see. We should get going, though, if we want to make the party in time,” Tara said.

“Do you want to come?” Jillian asked me.

“No, I better study if I’m going to do well on this biology exam.” I smiled, hoping my excuse was a good enough one.

“All right, well we will see you tomorrow.” Tara returned the smile before they grabbed their bags and walked out of the room.

The door clicked behind them and I was left there, once again, with only my thoughts to fill my head. Was I really going to be one of these sugar babies? I mean, I don’t even know if this Jerome guy is going to accept me or believe I even have what it takes to be a sugar baby. I was a little uncomfortable still with it all. I didn’t know what to expect or what this all meant. Sure, getting my bills paid and not having to slave away at that crappy store was a great thing, but was this really the way I wanted to free myself from both that job and my debts? Was I breaking some moral rule and buying myself a one-way ticket to hell someday? I knew if my parents found out I would be pulled out of this school so fast I wouldn’t be able to get a word in, but then again, I didn’t have to tell them. I could just make them think I was still mulling along in school and not actually out with some older guy.

Who knew, maybe I would like it. I did feel a little stupid still being a virgin, and maybe an older guy would be better than these immature college guys that had hit on me every single day I’ve been here. And like Tara said, it wasn’t about sex. Getting to just hang out and spend time with someone would be pretty nice, considering I was always either cooped in my dorm, in a classroom, or standing in front of that old cash register. Getting some time away from everything, even if it were only for the semester, was something I was actually starting to welcome. I’ve never felt that special before, considering no guy had ever doted on me or went out of his way to make me feel special, and even if this wasn’t some kind of relationship, I could at least get some attention that I’ve craved for years.

As the hours went by and the night sky turned even darker, I got into bed and looked out the window at the hordes of students coming inside after a night of partying. Jillian was still gone, and I lay there thinking of this guy and what he would be like. I was hoping he wouldn’t be too old, like my father’s age or even worse, my grandfather’s age. I wasn’t  sure if I could go down on some seventy-year-old guy, and the thought of him going down on me was even worse. Hopefully he’d be at least a little muscular or in shape, for nothing really turned me on more than a strong set of arms, even though I didn’t have much experience with them.

The thoughts of this mystery man, who I didn’t know and who I wasn’t even positive I would get to meet filled my head as my body started to tire. I knew if I were going to get a chance to be a sugar baby that I would have to impress Jerome tomorrow and make him see that I wasn’t just some shy little baby-faced girl who couldn’t hack it. I had to show off confidence and skill, and I couldn’t let him know I was a virgin. His clients had to be guys that either had money or power, and I didn’t think they wanted to be with some inexperienced virgin who didn’t have a clue how to have sex. They wanted a girl who could handle their pieces, and I wasn’t positive I knew exactly how to pleasure a guy, unless a guy touching my breast and ejaculating meant that I was just so sexy no guy could handle himself around me. If that were the case, then I’d be the best sugar baby to ever live. Somehow, though, I felt as though that wasn’t the case and that one incident didn’t make me qualified in any single way to be good at pleasing any guy.

A small and subtle smile graced my face as I lay there. The thoughts of tomorrow filled my head while butterflies and nervousness filled my stomach. The initial shock was wearing off and now I was beginning to feel a little scared of the whole situation. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had, but I still had to at least see if I had what it took to do this. I would see Jerome and at least give it a shot before saying no. The chance of finally being free from my job and my loans was too enticing, even if it wasn’t that moral or ethical, at least in the eyes of my upbringing. My mind drifted off into dreamland as the thoughts of tomorrow disguised themselves as dreams. I was going to do this. I was going to finally be free.

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