Tex (Burnout) (23 page)

Promises were sacred, to Tex's way of thinking. From both the Dom and the sub. If you promised to submit unless you couldn't for physical, mental, or emotional reasons and agreed to explain what those reasons were, then you should honor your promise. Abby's problem was that picked and chose which parts of that promise she would keep. She could tell him what she couldn't or wouldn't do for physical reasons. But anything that skirted the border of the emotional or mental she shut down on him.

"I've been where you are, pet," he told her gently. "I've submitted. In exactly this way." She turned to look at him, eyes wide. "Surprised?" he asked. "I would never ask someone to do something unless I knew exactly what it was I was asking them for. For training purposes, I have been a sub to a female Dominant. It was difficult, uncomfortable at times, but ultimately I learned a lot. I'm only trying to help you, Abby. To explore with you what you're capable of, what you're interested in, what you don't like simply because it's strange and new to you rather than something that actually turns you off."

He picked up the finger of ginger root. Now the real punishment would begin. He came around behind her, and used his free hand to reach down and rub her pussy. She was a little wet. Probably had been through most of the hand spanking. He worked her pussy, rubbing her clit and thumbing her hole. She wiggled into his hand. "Oh, yes," he said quietly. "My pet likes that. I know you liked the hand spanking, pet. We'll discuss the spoon at a later time." She was probably too shocked and confused at the wooden spoon to analyze it clearly this time. Maybe she liked it, maybe she hated it. Too soon to tell.

He let her use his fingers until she tightened up, body ripe for orgasm, then he withdrew his hand. Abby moaned in disappointment.

"Sorry, pet. This is punishment." He allowed her a moment to calm down. "Abby," he said firmly. "You need to listen to me. Are you listening?" She nodded. "There are a few things you're going to need to know. One. This will hurt." She tensed and he saw it. "A lot," he added. "It will not harm you in any way. We've talked about this, right? The difference between hurt and harm?" He waited for her nod. "This will hurt, but it will not harm. Understand?"

He got a nod that he deemed satisfactory and reached down, stroking her pussy again. He wet his fingers and brought them up to her ass. "Easy now," he told her. With his other hand he guided the ginger root, which was about four inches total in length and twice the size of his thumb to her entrance. "Relax, pet, and accept this. This is my body to use and control, right? This ass is mine. To fuck, to lick, to punish. Now, your ass will be punished." He slid the ginger root in. “Stay calm. And do not clench.”

****

Abby wasn't sure what Mark was doing to her. But then, she was never quite sure what he was doing. Hadn't he said that was the point? The spanking had been amazing. It hurt, but then the tingly sensation afterward had been exquisite. Then he'd hit her with something harder. She had been trying to figure out what it was. She hadn't seen him take anything from the bedroom. So it must have been something in the kitchen. One of the wooden spoons she suspected. The first blow had completely caught her off guard. Then she found herself trying to ward them off any way she could, which had proved difficult to do with her hands behind her back.

She had considered dropping the ball, but couldn't bring herself to do it. Mark had been in the army. Had been through much worse physical punishment than she could ever imagine. How much would she disappoint him if she couldn't even take a punishment spanking? She'd gripped the ball tighter and bit down on the gag and did her best to endure, but she was relieved it was over.

Then Mark had made a surprising revelation. A sub? She couldn't imagine it. Not by a long shot. Mark tied up at the whim of some woman's mercy. For a second she felt a pinch of jealousy. Not that she wanted to be some kind of Dominatrix. Lord knew she didn't have that in her. But this, what she had with Mark, this connection, these feelings. He'd had that with someone else? It bothered her to think about. Fortunately or unfortunately she didn't have to for long, because he called her ‘Abby’.

Oh, the dreaded 'Abby'. ‘Pet’ was fun. ‘Pet’ she'd gotten used to now that she knew its meaning. But 'Abby'? 'Abby' meant scary BDSM time. 'Abby' meant something new and strange and possibly not wonderful was about to happen. 'Abby' meant "Brace yourself, darlin'." So she did.

And he stuck something in her. Hurt. He'd said it would hurt. But not harm. She would come through it, whatever it was. At first she'd thought he was going to fuck her. And yes that would hurt. Considerably, since she'd failed at her anal training on the first god damn week. But whatever it was it was not a penis. Probably not even a dildo. It didn't feel right. It was cold and wet, but smooth and not that big. It didn't hurt at all. Which had Abby more than a little confused.

Suddenly, he swept her up in his arms and carried her to the living room. He laid her on the floor and left the room for a moment. She heard the sound of running water in the kitchen and was lost in the confusion of the night when slowly, steadily, downright motherfucking
menacingly
whatever it was that was stuck inside Abby...began to hurt.

She immediately clamped down on it.
Oh, my god!
she thought. It hurt. No, it didn't hurt. It was starting to fucking burn! She squealed and clamped down harder. The burn intensified.

"Now, pet," came Mark's voice from just out of view. "Don't clench. Clenching makes it worse."

Abby bucked her hips. She could barely concentrate through the pain. Fuck. She felt like she was being set on fire from the inside. The ball. The ball. She still had the ball. She was about to drop it to signal the session needed to stop immediately when he said, "I'm considering ending our relationship." She stilled. She'd failed. The one thing he'd asked her to do, keep a damn plug in, and she'd failed miserably, or so he thought. But it had just come out. She hadn't planned on it. It was an accident.

As if he read her thoughts, he said, "Not because of the plug. Although that's a separate issue on its own, why you won't accept anal play. No. My biggest concern is trust. I don't trust you. You don't trust me. Even though you promised, swore to me, that you would. Part of trusting me is telling me what's happening. Why things aren't working; what things need to be changed. You're not giving me that, Abby. And relationships like these cannot work without it."

Several things happened to Abby at once. The first thing was she realized she did not want to lose Mark. The second thing, that only reinforced the first thing, was she realized that while he'd been talking, she'd stopped clenching her ass. And the pain that was there before was now just a mild burning sensation. He'd told her not to clench. The spanking with the spoon had been to exercise her ability to control her reactions. He had given her all the tools she needed to endure this punishment and if she would just listen to him, it would have gone much more smoothly.

Would she have even been punished at all if she'd just been honest? As she thought about, she realized, yes, Mark would still have punished her. But maybe not with this last part. She started to cry. Mark took pity on her, knelt down beside her and removed whatever it was that was inside her. She looked up at him, tears streaming.

"Will you talk to me, Abby?"

She nodded and he reached behind her head to unbuckle the gag. She gasped as it came out. "Please," she begged. "Please, don't leave me."

Mark sat down on the floor beside her, picked her up and settled her into his lap. "Honey, I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'm really not. I do think maybe you're not ready for this. Or maybe it's not for you. I have no idea. Because you won't tell me. And so whether you're a submissive or not, you're not ready to be
my
submissive."

"I- I just need more time," she insisted. "It's moving so fast and it's all new and things are happening-"

"What things?" he prompted. When she didn't answer, he said, "Abby, what things? And if you think it's moving too fast, just say so. Don't break the things I give you in some passive aggressive attempt at controlling our relationship."

"I didn't!"

"Then how did the plug get broken?"

Abby swallowed hard. "It- I- it came out."

"That still doesn't explain how it broke."

She blushed and looked away. He immediately grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. He didn't repeat himself. He only stared at her, eyes boring into her until she cracked. "I came," she admitted.

For once she'd actually surprised him because his eyebrows shot up. "You came?"

She nodded. "In the bathroom. I- it just- it was there, in me, and it freaked me out that people were around and they might figure it out somehow. And then, then it didn't freak me out and..."

"You liked it."

"Yes. And I couldn't take it anymore. So I went into the bathroom and I...masturbated. I was up against the door and I had my panties down and when I came, the plug popped out and hit the floor. It chipped the side. It was an accident."

He grinned. "You know, I thought my biggest problem with you would be the things you don't like. Not the things you do. What's going on with the anal play?"

She hesitated, but only for a second. "It feels...dirty. I mean, it
is
dirty."

"You get it waxed regularly. Before you even met me."

"Yeah, but that's different. It's not inside. It's just-" She sighed. "I don't know. Dirty."

"But when you're alone, it gets you excited enough to masturbate in the bathroom," he pointed out.

"Well, no one's there to know."

Mark was quiet for a long time. Then he unlocked the cuffs and removed them. He swept her hair to the side and unbuckled the collar. She drew in a sharp breath. "Calm down," he told her in his silky smooth voice. "It doesn't mean anything. I just want a serious conversation with you, no collar. No Dom, no sub. Just me and you." When she was free of the restraints, he set them on the coffee table. "Go to the bedroom, put on a bathrobe."

Abby looked at him, confused.

"If you're naked,” he explained, “and I'm not, you're still the sub. Go put something on so we can be equals." She nodded and headed off to the bedroom. She couldn't resist spreading her cheeks and looking at herself in the mirror. It didn't look like anything back there. Oh, her cheeks were rosy red from the spanking, but there was no evidence of whatever he'd done to her later and it didn't feel like anything at all now. She shrugged on the bathrobe and went back out to the living room.

Mark had gotten up off the floor, thrown away whatever was on the table, and was washing his hands. "What was that?" she asked him.

"Ginger root. It burns, more if you clench down on it, but it won't do any damage and if you leave it in, the effect only lasts about 15 or 20 minutes." He dried his hands on the towel. "But you've got to be careful of your hands because you don't want it to get in the eyes."

"It really hurt," she told him.

"Because you panicked and forgot everything I told you."

She hung her head. "I know."

"It's alright," he said, drawing her into his arms. "You did amazingly well through the spanking. I was very, very proud of you."

"Really?"

"Very. Did you like it?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "The first part with your hand. But I don't know about the spoon."

He nodded as if he'd known this already. The microwave, which she hadn't noticed had been on, beeped. Mark took a mug out of it and dropped in one of her teabags. "Come sit with me," he told her and headed toward the couch.

She sat on the end, pulling her knees up underneath her and clasping her mug in both hands.

"When I told you I was thinking about breaking it off, you started crying," he said.

"I- I don't want it to be over. I just...I don't know if I can do all the stuff you want. Some of it's just really out there for me. It's hard."

He nodded. "The hardest part isn't fear. Everybody has that and they get over it eventually. The hard part is what you're wired to think is acceptable versus what's not acceptable. For you, anal is dirty. Plus, nice women don't do it, am I right?"

Abby nodded.

"Abby, I'm going to explain something that's pretty tricky. Very advanced. I've done it, on both sides, and I've been doing this a long time. The idea will seem very strange to you and the reality will be extremely terrifying."

She scoffed. "Oh, good. 'Cause I needed this to be
harder
."

He smiled. "How much do you want me?" She looked up at him. "I'm not fishing for compliments," he assured her. "I'm asking how far you would go." Before she could answer he said, "Knowing that my first priority, always, is you and what you need. I said ‘need’, Abby. Not ‘want’. What you want is very different in this case from what you need."

Abby took a sip of her tea. "What do I need?" she finally asked.

"You need to get over your inhibitions about your body. Of which there are many, but the one we're concerning ourselves with right now is anal."

"I don't have inhibitions about my body," she protested. Mark merely raised an eyebrow at her. "Moving on," she said. "How do we do that, give me what I need?"