Texas Homecoming (14 page)

Inside, the cocoon she had built when Laveau left began to unravel. So, too, the walls she’d built to keep out the knowledge that danger lurked all around, the feeling that she would never return to her home, the fear that no man would want her now that she was poor. This feeling of safety could only last an evening, for one dance, maybe even a moment, but Pilar wanted to treasure it.

But her thoughts couldn’t long remain focused inward when she was in the arms of a man who pressed her body close to his. She became aware of Cade in a manner that was entirely different from anything she’d experienced before. She remembered the night when he’d held her, comforted her as she cried, but this had nothing to do with comfort. It had nothing to do with his appreciation for what she’d been able to accomplish on her own. He was a man and she was a woman, and she’d never been more aware of it than at this moment.

She looked around, certain she was the center of attention, that everyone was directing disapproving frowns at her. To her relief, all the couples appeared to have thoughts only for themselves.

Pilar let her muscles relax, let herself lean inward. There was no danger that either of them would misinterpret these movements. Their relationship had been defined long ago.

Now, instead of acting as a barrier, their enmity served as a release. She could follow her inclinations without fear that anything would come of her actions. With a huge inward sigh, she allowed herself to feel swallowed in Cade’s embrace. It felt absolutely marvelous. For the first time in years, she didn’t feel the weight of the world on her shoulders. She only had to think of herself, here, now, this moment. Cade would take care of everything else.

“Why don’t they play something faster?” she asked, suddenly bursting with the desire to express this newfound sense of freedom.

“They will in a little while.”

“But I want it now.” She pulled Cade in the direction of the band. “Faster!” she called out. “This is a fiesta, not a funeral.”

The band didn’t need to be asked a second time. Without missing a beat, they shifted into a version of the same melody that had the dancers gasping for breath moments later.

“For someone who just learned the steps, you sure are a zealous convert.”

Pilar felt marvelous. She intended to pack as much fun as she could into this one night. She wanted to dance until she couldn’t stand up. Then she wanted another of those fruit drinks. Tomorrow they would buy their supplies and head back to the ranch.

An hour later Pilar had finished her third fruit drink and danced a fandango that left her so exhausted she had to lean on Cade as they left the dance area.

“I think it’s time to go,” he said. “You need to get to bed.”

“I don’t want to go to bed,” Pilar said. “I want to dance some more.” She had the feeling that her desire to lean on Cade wasn’t entirely the result of fatigue, but she refused to feel guilty.

“Let’s go for a walk instead.”

“I don’t want to walk,” she said, angry he’d forced her to leave the fiesta. “I can do that any time.”

“We can walk along the river. The moonlight on the water makes it look like a river of silver.”

A walk sounded awfully dull compared to dancing, but she’d never seen a river in the moonlight. Young ladies of aristocratic lineage weren’t supposed to be interested in such things. Cade made it sound very pretty. “Okay, but if I don’t like it, I want to go back to the fiesta.”

The fruit drinks had undoubtedly contained more tequila than she suspected. She had never felt so uninhibited, so unfettered by tradition, so unrestrained by her grandmother’s strictures. It felt absolutely marvelous.

“Have you walked along rivers in the moonlight with a lot of girls?” she asked.

Cade chuckled softly. “You should ask Owen that question.”

“I’m not interested in Owen. I’m interested in you.” She didn’t mean it quite the way it sounded, but it was too much trouble to explain.

“No one seemed particularly interested,” Cade said.

Pilar couldn’t understand that. To her, Cade seemed like exactly the kind of man a woman would want to walk with in the moonlight. He was strong, handsome, and dependable, everything a young woman would look for in a man.

“I can’t believe the young women you knew were so silly.”

“Young ladies want excitement, clever words, flattery,” he said.

“They’d want something very different if they’d been driven out of their home and forced to cook for a living.” She hadn’t meant to mention that, but what he said seemed so frivolous, she couldn’t help herself.

“Some lost more than you. They just wanted to forget.”

She would
never
forget. “Let’s not talk about the war. Pretend I’m one of those silly women who pant after Owen. Tell me I’m pretty and you get lost in my eyes.”

Pilar felt herself flush with embarrassment. She didn’t know where those words had come from. She’d never even thought anything so foolish in her entire life.

“You’re not pretty,” Cade said.

That’s what she got for putting words into a man’s mouth.

“You’re beautiful. Any man would give his right arm to be able to drown himself in your eyes.”

Pilar didn’t know what more those Virginia beauties could want. Manuel had never said anything half so poetic.

“Your fiancé should be cut into small pieces and fed to the coyotes for leaving you unprotected. If I had been your fiancé, not even loyalty to my country could have been enough to make me leave you.”

Pilar was wise enough to know that no man ever valued his wife above his loyalty to his country; his money or his children perhaps, but never his wife. But the effect on her was the same as if it had been the truth. She’d never felt so important in her life, and she liked it.

“Would you really have stayed in Texas if I’d been your fiancée?”

“Maybe not, but I’d have made sure you were safe before I left.”

“Why?”

“A man protects what he values. Nothing is more valuable than the woman a man loves.”

Pilar had never expected to be loved by her husband, but when she was alone and faced with the future, she couldn’t help dreaming about it. Respect and all that stuff about lineage and money didn’t seem enough in a world that could turn cold and cruel at any moment.

“How would you show a woman you loved her?” Pilar asked.

“Like this.” Cade took her in his arms and kissed her.

Pilar knew that some part of her must have been wanting this, hoping for it, but a part of her was shocked to find herself in Cade’s embrace. That same part was even more shocked to discover how much she wanted it, welcomed it, moved forward to meet him. Nor did she back away from the kiss when it turned from a genteel brushing of lips to an unbridled expression of pent-up emotions.

She didn’t know what was responsible for the feeling that her life had suddenly turned in a new direction, had taken on a different meaning. She didn’t know how to account for the emptiness inside her, or the conviction that Cade was the only one who could fill it.

She only knew she’d been swept up in Cade’s powerful embrace, and it was the most wonderful feeling of her whole life.

She’d never imagined that anything could feel as wonderful as this kiss. His lips were full, his mouth soft. His tongue darted between her teeth before she knew what was happening. But even as her conscious mind started to reject the idea, her body’s response was the opposite—and enthusiastic.
Her own tongue rose to duel with Cade’s, entwining sinuously around his, plunging deep into his mouth.

Gradually Pilar became aware that other parts of her body were reacting to Cade’s embrace. Her breasts—pressed hard against his chest—had become extremely sensitive, her nipples swollen. A feeling unlike anything she’d ever experienced uncoiled deep in her belly, then began to spread through her limbs, causing her muscles to go limp. Instinctively she clung still more tightly to Cade.

Without warning, Cade broke the kiss, took her by the shoulders, and thrust her away from him.

The shock was total.

“We have to go back to the hotel before I forget you’re a lady I’ve promised to protect,” Cade said.

Pilar’s brain refused to function. She couldn’t understand what Cole was saying. She could only understand that all comfort had suddenly been torn from her. “What would you do if I weren’t a lady, if we didn’t have to go back to the hotel?”

Chapter Fourteen

Pilar didn’t know how she could face Cade after what she’d asked him last night. How could she have asked such a question? She knew what men did with willing women. Cade had had every reason to think she was asking him to do the same with her. Just the memory caused her to flush with embarrassment.

It’s impossible to think of you as anyone but yourself. It’s my duty to keep you safe until Laveau comes back.

His answer had sounded so high-minded and admirable, it had taken her half the night to figure out why it made her so miserable. She didn’t want Cade to think of protecting her as a duty. She wanted him to think of her as a woman so desirable he would forget duty and honor and spirit her away to some secret hideaway where they could …

Another flush of heated embarrassment prevented her from finishing that thought. She had to stop acting like she was falling in love with Cade. That was impossible.
She had to stop acting like she wanted him to make love to her. She knew
that
was absurd. She didn’t feel like that about him, and he certainly didn’t feel that way about her. Just as important, she had to stop having dreams like the one she’d had last night.

More embarrassment overwhelmed her. In her dream he’d carried her back to the hotel and made passionate love to her all night long. And not once had she uttered a single word of protest.

At least Cade had no way of knowing about that dream, and she had a whole day to put it out of her mind. If she could just survive that first moment of meeting. She prayed all his friends would be there.

When she reached the lobby, Cade was alone.

Her instinctive reaction was to turn around, but Cade had seen her. He started toward her, his warm smile of welcome brightening up the dismal morning. “Where is everybody?” she asked before he could say anything about last night.

“Nate, Holt, and Broc went off to visit as many saloons as possible,” Cade said. “We need information on who’s buying cattle and what prices they’re paying. Owen took Ivan and went off on his own. Rafe and I are planning to go to the Menger Hotel to see what we can find out about trailing cattle north or shipping them to New Orleans.”

Pilar felt disappointed but immensely relieved. “I want to do some shopping.”

“We can go with you,” Cade said.

“No,
we
can’t,” Rafe said, emerging from a tobacco shop in time to hear Cade’s offer. “Do you know what women do when they shop?”

“No, but—”

“They look,” Rafe said as though it were some loathsome
practice. “They look and they examine, they try things on, and they discuss in detail. Then they go to another store and start the whole process over again.”

“Is that true?” Cade asked Pilar.

She didn’t know. Merchants had always brought their merchandise to the hacienda, but this gave her the excuse she needed. “I’m probably worse. You two go on.”

“How long will your shopping take?”

She had never shopped, but not even the shortage of merchandise would deter her now. “I could look for days.”

“That’ll be too long.”

She laughed. “Okay, I’ll meet you for lunch. How about the Menger Hotel?”

“Okay,” Cade said, “but if you’re not there by noon, I’ll come looking for you.”

“I don’t know where I’ll be.”

“I’ll find you.”

Cade was being very circumspect, but his gaze settled on her more frequently than before and stayed longer. And not even a novice could miss the warmth in those azure eyes. Today it was a caress that reached out and wrapped her in its warmth.

The only way Pilar could stop thinking about him, stop wanting to pick up where they’d left off last night, was to think of Laveau. She had noticed a group of Union Army soldiers on the far side of the plaza. If she could talk with them, maybe they could tell her something about Laveau. She hated to deceive Cade, but she couldn’t pass up this chance. As soon as Cade and Rafe disappeared, she set out at a brisk pace in the direction the soldiers had taken.

It didn’t take her long to catch up. They were strolling leisurely down the street, ogling all the young women. Pilar was shocked to see that quite a few young women ogled
them back. She didn’t want to know what her grandmother would have to say about that, or about Pilar walking unescorted through a public street to approach several strange men.

“Excuse me,” she said as she touched the sleeve of one young man’s uniform.

“Women don’t need no excuses,” the soldier replied as he spun around to face her, “not when they’re as young and pretty as you.”

He appeared a little unsteady.

“Why don’t you talk to me?” one of the others said. “Clyde is not himself today.”

Clyde giggled. “If I’m not myself, who am I?”

“You’re a drunken fool.” The speaker looked older but not reluctant to stare directly at her bosom. “A single woman shouldn’t be without an escort,” he said.

“I’m here with my … employer.” She nearly choked on the word. “I’m looking for information about my brother. He hasn’t come home from the war yet.”

“We don’t know anything about the Johnny Rebs,” the soldier said, his welcome suddenly gone cold.

“My brother was in the Union Army,” Pilar said. “His name is Laveau diViere. Have you heard of him?”

All the soldiers shook their heads. “You ought to speak to our commanding officer,” one suggested. “If anybody would know, he would.”

“Where can I find him?”

“I’ll show you,” the inebriated soldier offered.

“We’ll all show you,” the older man said. “It’s not far.”

Pilar wondered what people thought when they saw her walking with seven Union soldiers, all but the oldest one pushing and shoving to walk next to her. If she could learn
anything that would help her find her brother, she wouldn’t care.

Except Cade. She didn’t want him to see her with these men. She didn’t like doing this behind his back, but she was uncertain how he would react. She’d talk to the officer first. If she thought what she learned wouldn’t make Cade angry, she’d tell him.

The Union Army was headquartered in the Alamo, a building closer to the Menger Hotel than she liked. She just hoped Cade didn’t come out the same time she did.

“Scott tells me you’re looking for your brother,” Major Kramer said to Pilar after he’d ushered her into his office and invited her to be seated.

“Yes. I haven’t heard from him in more than a month, and I’m worried.” Pilar didn’t like the way he was looking at her, as though he had bad news and was trying to decide what to say. “Is anything wrong? Has something happened to him?”

“Not that I know of,” the major said, “but I haven’t heard anything about him in several months.”

Pilar sank back into her chair.

“Are you aware that your brother turned traitor during the war?”

“He wrote he would be coming home with the Union Army.” Traitor was such an ugly word. “You’ve been here for months. He still isn’t home.”

“There are several groups of troops coming to Texas. Most of them haven’t arrived yet.”

She could sense he was still holding something back. “You know something, don’t you? Something you don’t want to tell me.”

“No, but I feel I must give you a warning. It may not be safe for your brother to return to Texas.”

She’d never considered that Laveau wouldn’t come home. “Do you mean because he changed sides?”

“Miss diViere, where are you living now?”

Pilar felt herself flush. “Squatters took over my home. My grandmother and I are staying with a neighbor.”

“Are there any men in that family who fought for the Confederacy?”

“Yes.”

“How many?”

“One. But he has six friends who’ve come to help him round up and brand his cattle.”

“You have seven ex-Confederate soldiers staying at one ranch?”

“Yes.”

“Did they lose friends, relatives, their homes?”

She didn’t know anything specific, but she knew they’d all lost comrades. “Yes.”

“What kind of men are they? Tough, strong, determined, unafraid?”

“All that. Especially unafraid.”

“Do you think these men will be happy to have a traitor turn up in their midst?”

“He’s not a traitor. He just changed sides.”

“People who change sides are traitors,” the major said. “The Confederates shoot them. So do we.”

Pilar felt as if she were going to faint. “You shot my brother?”

“No, miss. We shoot our own men who turn traitor. We welcomed Confederate turncoats, but we didn’t respect them. Traitors are despised by both sides.”

Pilar felt so weak, she wasn’t sure she could draw in a breath. “He said the Union Army would protect him.”

“We will as far as we are able. But anyone in his troop might want revenge.”

“What will they do if they find him?”

“Probably kill him.”

Pilar was certain she couldn’t breathe. Laveau had been in the troop with Cade and his friends. If anyone wanted to kill him, they would be the ones.

“Are you all right?” the major asked.

Of course she wasn’t. She’d just learned that the man she liked far too well for her own good probably wanted to kill her brother. And if Cade didn’t, it was almost certain that one of his friends did.

“I’m fine. Just shocked to learn that my brother is in such danger. He’s all the family my grandmother and I have.”

“Maybe your neighbor’s son will be willing to let bygones be bygones.”

Cade was a man who took responsibility seriously, but she couldn’t imagine him shooting Laveau. He was stern, but he wasn’t a murderer. Pilar struggled to her feet. “Thank you. You’ve been most helpful.”

“Your brother might come back with his own command,” the major said. “If so, he would be reasonably safe.”

But if he came home alone, his life would be in danger.

“Let me have one of my men escort you back to your employer,” the major offered.

“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary.”

“It won’t be a problem. That’s what they’re here for.”

“I’d rather be alone.” She had to have some time to herself to think, to figure out what to do.

She was so upset, she walked blindly, unaware of people until she bumped into a man who apologized. Realizing it was her fault rather than his, she entered a store. She reemerged
moments later and started down the street again, stopping to stare into windows for long periods of time, but seeing nothing.

She had been a very foolish woman. She didn’t merely like Cade. She was well on her way to falling in love with him. The man she wanted to trust with her heart could want her brother dead. While her heart rebelled at the idea, her head insisted it was possible, even probable. If Laveau wrote her, she would have to find a way to warn him that Cade and his friends were at the Wheeler ranch.

Pilar had been so absorbed in her thoughts, she had nearly come abreast of a man before she noticed him speaking animatedly to his two companions and pointing at her.

He appeared to recognize her, but Pilar didn’t remember having seen him before. There was a tattered, unkempt aspect to his appearance. His clothes appeared dirty and unmatched, as though chosen at random. A torn pocket and missing buttons supported the assumption that he was without a wife to mend and wash his clothes.

The man grinned, nudged his two companions, pointed directly at her, and said something that caused the three of them to burst out laughing. He spat a stream of tobacco juice into the street and grinned broadly as they came toward her.

“We was wondering where you’d got to,” he said to Pilar.

Pilar froze, unsure what to do. “I don’t know you.”

“Didn’t expect you’d remember us, but we remember you. I been sleeping in your bed for two years.”

Squatters! These were three of the men who’d driven her out of her home.

“I never knowed a bed could be so soft,” the man said. “Pretty sheets, but my boots got them so muddy, I had to throw them out.”

She’d slept on silk sheets. Her grandmother wouldn’t settle for anything else.

“Me and Costa here don’t care nothing about sheets,” one of the other men said, “but we sure did like that wine your grandma hid in the cellar. You ain’t got no more hid somewhere, do you?”

Pilar didn’t want to think what Laveau would say when he discovered his prized wine collection had disappeared down the throats of squatters. Nor her grandmother when she learned what had happened to her sheets.

“We sure do like eating your beef,” the first man said. “We ain’t been hungry a day yet.” He patted his stomach. “Only eat the best cuts. Throw away the rest.”

Pilar was so angry she wanted to do something,
anything,
to hurt these men, but she was alone. “Let me past,” she said. “I have to rejoin my employers.”

The first man laughed. “So that’s what you call them. I would have called them something else.”

Pilar was becoming more and more nervous. She didn’t think she was in any danger on a public street, but these men didn’t seem the least concerned about people passing around them.

“There weren’t no need to run away. We woulda let you stay. You coulda slept in you own bed.”

Pilar didn’t need his leering gaze at her bosom to know she wouldn’t have been allowed to sleep alone. “You’re nothing but cowardly thieves who wait until the men are gone, then attack defenseless women.”

“I wouldn’t be acting so high and mighty,” the first man said. “I seen where you run to. I seen you come into town with all those men.”

“Then you’d better get away from me. If they find you’re bothering me, you’ll be sorry.”

“I always thought you’d be good in bed,” the first man said, “but you’ve got to be mighty good to keep that many men satisfied.”

“Come back with us,” one of the other men said. “We won’t make you cook or nothing else.”

“Not as long as you treat us good.”

“If you don’t leave me alone, I’ll scream,” Pilar said.

“Won’t do you no good,” the first man said. “Everybody knows women like you ain’t nothing but sluts. You jump from bed to bed like any whore.”

He reached out, attempting to grab her by the wrist. Pilar backed away, but the three men closed around her. She looked to passersby for help, but there was no one close. The people she did see—walking along the boardwalk, talking or staring in windows, or driving buggies and wagons through the streets—appeared unaware of her plight. The hotel where Cade and Rafe had gone was far away.