Texas Strong (30 page)

“I don’t know…” He wanted her to be right so damn bad, but—

“That’s okay. I do.” Then her smile was soft and sweet. “I have to go help Jackson wrestle the wild things to bed before I drop my bombshell.”

“He’ll be glad, won’t he?”

“He’ll be over the moon.” She was glowing now. “Will you come to lunch on Sunday after church? Bring Chrissy and her kids?”

He hunched his shoulders. “I don’t know, Vee…”

She placed both palms on the table and stared him down. “If you don’t call her, I will.”

He jolted. “You wouldn’t.”

Her brows rose. “To give my big brother a long overdue chance for happiness? Bet me I won’t. You’ll lose, I promise you.” Her smile went soft. “Do it for me, Tank, if you won’t do it for yourself.”

He walked her out and said his goodbyes.

And stood watching for a long time after she left.

Did he dare? Nothing had ever scared him more, he was almost certain.

So after I get my sister kidnapped, are you going to arrest me?

The staged kidnapping was tonight. He fingered the handcuffs that were attached to his utility belt.

And smiled.

Yeah, he was scared, all right.

But maybe he’d just pay Miss Chrissy a visit.

When Laura awoke, she and Jake were tangled together as they once had been every night.

But this time Jake was staring, as if memorizing every cell of her. His eyes were sorrowful. Serious, even when he smiled to greet her. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Her voice was hoarse. He’d made her scream, actually scream. She stroked his jaw. “You all right?”

“I’m not sure. You?”

She felt shy and awkward, so she dodged. “That was amazing.” She blinked. “What got into you?”

“You have to ask?” He covered his own discomfort with a grin.

Jake was no more adept at discussing his feelings than any other man, but she couldn’t allow that, not now. Too much was on the line. “I do. Talk to me, Jake.”

He glanced away, then back. Frowned. “What’s happened between us, Laura? Were you really going to leave me?”

“I didn’t want to. I just couldn’t figure out what else to do.”

“Because of Our Day? I told you I was sorry. I sent you roses. I said I’d clean up the mess.”

“You did,” she said, her voice as heavy as her heart.

“What’s wrong? You didn’t like the roses, did you?”

She raised the sheet, clutched it to her chest.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Hide from me.” He pulled her back down, shoved the sheet away. “This is me, damn it. We don’t conceal ourselves from each other—at least, we never used to.”

“Once we didn’t do lots of things—” She halted.

“Keep going. Like what?”

Then she got mad. Sat up, scooted around to face him. “We didn’t spend most nights apart. Sleep in separate beds.”

“We do not.” He sat up, too.

She poked him in the chest. “What do you call the couch in the study, huh? Do you have any idea how many times you haven’t come to bed?”

“I was trying not to disturb you—”

“You jerk.” She leaped from the bed. “I never rest without you. I don’t like sleeping alone.” She started pacing. “You used to be married to me, not the ER.”

“What?” He followed her. “You’re kidding me. Laura, I’m just doing my job—”

“You had a job! You left it—left
me
. Flipped our lives upside down. You turned into an adrenaline junkie, and pretty soon, you didn’t need me anymore.”

He recoiled. “Is that what you think?”

She shoved her hair back from her tear-swollen face. “You weren’t like this before. I just don’t understand why I keep coming up short to your new mistress. What your work gives you that I can’t.”

He stood in the center of the room, gaping at her. “Laura, you understood why I made the switch.”

She shook her head. “No. We had plans, Jake, dreams we’d talked about for years. All of a sudden you’ve sold your practice, and despite the fact that we have plenty of money, you don’t choose to spend that time with me after all. Instead you decide to go into trauma, where you’ll never have to see me.”

“That’s not fair. I love you. Why would I avoid you?” He closed the distance. “I don’t spend much more time away than I did in my practice, it’s just different hours.”

“You’re wrong. You’re gone all the time, and I’m—”

“What?” He clasped her arms. “Lonely?”

She blinked hard. Tried to get away.

He wouldn’t let her. “You’re missing the kids, aren’t you? They kept you incredibly busy, but now the nest is empty.”

She poked his chest. “Don’t you patronize me. I don’t need my kids to make me complete.” She glared. “And maybe I don’t need you, either.” She yanked away.

But Jake sensed that he had to keep her near, maintain physical contact in order to work through this.

“Let me go. I’d like to get dressed.”

“That’s not a good idea, babe.”

“Release me, Jake.”

“No can do.” Instead he swept her up, carried her not to the bed but to a big overstuffed rocking chair in the corner.

She fought him a little, but he had the size advantage and used it. “You want to talk? Fine, but you’ll stay right here to do it.”

“Then I’m getting dressed.” She hunched in his lap.

“What?”

“I don’t like being naked with you.”

“What?” He was honestly shocked. “Why?”

She kept her eyes cast down. “I’m not pretty anymore.”

“Get real.” He chuckled. “Of course you are. Beautiful as ever.”

“Don’t make light of this.”

The pain on her face wiped away his smile. He couldn’t let her put distance—or clothing—between them again. He was forced to peel her open, though, curled like a shrimp as she was. “Laura, I have watched you give birth to our babies, I’ve held your hair while you tossed your cookies, I’ve been naked with you in nearly every way possible, and I just made love to you—pretty fiercely, I might add—when you were only a few minutes younger than you are now. What on earth do you possibly have to hide from me?”

“I don’t know.” She kept her arms wrapped tightly around herself. “I just don’t—I wish I were still young and everything was smooth and taut.”

He cuddled her and started rocking. “You think I don’t feel the same about myself?”

She snorted. “Guys don’t sag this soon.”

“Laura, I loved you young and I love you—”

Her head lifted. Her eyes narrowed. “You weren’t going to say old.”

“Of course not.” He hazarded another grin. “Do I look stupid?” When her mouth twitched, he had the urge to celebrate, but they weren’t nearly through yet. “Stella says I’m a fool. And not indispensable.”

No reaction.

“I never believed I was. I just liked—” He puzzled over it a minute. “Being needed.”

“Yeah,” she said.

He glanced down. “I never thought you needed me, not really.”

Her eyes went wide. “What?”

“Sweetheart, you’ve been juggling a house and kids and husband and pets and every committee known to man—you take my breath away at all you tackle and how easy you make it seem. You’re the most capable person I’ve ever met.”

“Really?”

“What on earth have I been doing that you don’t realize that?”

“But you’re the one who has the tough job. Even before trauma.”

“Are you kidding me? I have nurses and administrators and techs—there’s a whole team to support my every move. You tackle the world single-handed and whip it into shape daily.”

They stared at each other. “I had no idea,” she said. Then she sat up as though unaware of her nudity. “You admire me.” She seemed stunned.

“Laura, I love you.”

She waved that off. “That’s different. Admiration means respect.”

He gaped. “If I haven’t convinced you before now that I not only adore you but respect you, no wonder you were leaving me.”

She ducked her head. “It broke my heart, but I couldn’t figure out how else to get your attention.” Then she captured his gaze. “I didn’t marry our kids or our house or our social position, Jake. I married you, the man who was deep in debt for student loans, who lived off ramen noodles and rode a bike because he couldn’t afford a car. The possessions that have accompanied your success were gravy. I love our kids, of course, but I juggled all of that because it was us. Me and you, a team. And we were supposed to get to be a couple again when the kids left, but instead Bob died, and you left, too.”

“Bob? What’s he got to do with it?”

“After his death, you changed. Almost overnight, you sold your practice, went into trauma. It’s like you became possessed.”

He drew her closer. Shook his head against the tumble of her hair. “Honey, I never meant to desert you. You’re right—losing Bob really made me reevaluate. It’s hard to be aware that your time on earth is finite. I wanted my life to mean something. To make a difference to more than vain women.”

“I understand, I do. But isn’t there some way to have that and still have a life together? I would never ask you to give up work you love, but I’m—” She bit her lip. Glanced away.

He grasped her chin, made her face him. “You’re what?”

“Scared,” she whispered. “I don’t want to lose you, and you’re killing yourself right before my eyes.”

He wasn’t as shocked as he might have been.
Have you studied the schedule lately?
“I may be too old for trauma.” He couldn’t believe he’d just admitted his worst fear. “But I’m not ready to be useless, Laura.”

“Oh, Jake…” She cupped his jaw. “We can’t help aging, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have contributions to make.” She kissed him softly. “I’m just greedy for every last day with you I can get.”

He placed his hand over hers. “I’m realizing that I’ve been pressing to keep up with people who are twenty years younger. I haven’t wanted to admit I’m finding it difficult.”

Her smile was sympathy and understanding. “So what do we do now?”

“I’m not sure, exactly.” He pondered. “I could definitely begin by only working the shifts that are on the schedule. I couldn’t cut back yet without burdening the rest of them, but—” He locked his gaze on hers. “If I have to go back to plastics, I will, Laura. Nothing’s worth losing you.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. “You won’t. We can figure this out, as long as we’re talking. I just—I miss you, Jake.”

She folded into his arms, fitting perfectly as she always had. “I miss you, too.” He kissed the top of her head as he thought a little more. “Chrissy says you’ve been cooking at the cafe.”

She lifted one shoulder. “They needed some help, and it was something new to try. Since I might need a way to pay my bills.”

He jolted. “No. You are not leaving me. Even if you were—which I won’t let happen—you’d have plenty of money.” His brows snapped together. “But we are not living apart. Do you want your own restaurant? You’re certainly a gifted cook.”

She placed one hand on his jaw. “Starting a new restaurant is more than a full-time job. We might as well live apart if I did that. I wouldn’t mind something part-time—Ruby says every woman needs her own mad money—but that doesn’t solve our problem.”

He considered what Bridger had been asking. “You were involved with the work day to finish the clinic here, right?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Bridger came to me not long ago to ask if anyone on my staff might want to relocate.” He glanced down. “It was obvious that he meant me, since there’s no doctor in Sweetgrass Springs, but at the time, I wasn’t interested. Maybe I should take a look.”

“Live…here? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Would that be terrible? It’s a really big change for us.”

She contemplated. “The people couldn’t be better. Chrissy loves it here, and she wants to stay.” She brightened. “And we could help with Becky and Thad. Would you really consider it?”

“Wow. Nothing I ever imagined for us, but…” He gazed at her. “If it would keep us together, I’d sure consider it.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, then stroked her cheek. “I am so sorry about Our Day, honey. I’m going to make it up to you, I swear. As a matter of fact—” He scooted to the front of the rocker and rose with her still in his arms. “Let me show you part of how I planned to do it.”

He walked into the living room of the cottage. “Close your eyes.” He set her down and began lighting candles. “No peeking.”

He noticed her shiver but wasn’t eager to leave her long enough to get their suitcases. He snatched an afghan from the sofa and wrapped her in it, keeping his arms around her, too. “Okay.”

She opened them, and he tried to see it all through her eyes, the table set for two, the golden glow reflected in crystal and silver, Veronica Gallagher’s colorful array of purple iris and Gerber daisies, spicy red geraniums mingled with magnolia blossoms spilling over the center of the table.

“Oh, Jake…”

“The champagne should still be cold, even if the ice is melted. I meant to woo you first, not ravish you.”

Her head tilted to his. “I liked being ravished.”

“Yeah?”

“A definite wow.” She revolved in his arms. Let the afghan drop. “As a matter of fact…”

“Oh, babe, don’t look at me like that.”

“Okay.” Instead she rose to her toes and didn’t look at him at all. She was too busy kissing him, stroking him.