That Thing Called Love (23 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

F
RIDAY
NIGHT
AND
H
ARBOR
S
TREET
was already jumping—at least by Razor Bay standards—when Jake drove through town just before six on his way back from Silverdale. He’d dropped Austin and Bailey off at the Kitsap Mall, and the kids were probably eating at the food court even as he contemplated his son being on a date. A
date!
He was going to miss out on so much when he—

He chopped off the thought, and went back to mulling over what two thirteen-year-olds might be doing at this moment. If they weren’t eating, they were likely killing time in the mall before they caught the seven-twenty movie at the multiplex.

Either way, his dad duties were done for the night, thanks to Rebecca Damoth, who had offered to pick them up when the show was over.

He’d found himself breaking speed limits driving back here. And the minute he powered off his SUV in the parking lot between his place and Jenny’s, he headed over to her cottage. He hadn’t seen her in two long nights and he found himself...needing to.

He didn’t know what the hell that was all about but was too impatient to worry about it tonight. He rapped out a rapid tattoo on her front door.

When Jenny opened it, he watched something flicker across her face. Whatever it was came and went so quickly he didn’t have time to pin it down, so he let it go and stepped into her house, her
space,
without awaiting an invitation. Sliding his fingers into her hair, he framed her cheekbones with his thumbs, tilted her head back and kissed her.

Gently.

With a host of feelings he didn’t care to examine too closely.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing a satisfied sound from deep in his throat. Every muscle in his body loosened as he felt the tension he hadn’t even realized he’d been carrying in his neck and shoulders release its grip. Kicking the door closed behind him, he swept her up in his arms and, without breaking their kiss, carried her into the bedroom.

Laying her on her queen-size bed a moment later, he stretched out atop her and focused on learning every cushioned curve of those sweet lips as if they were brand-new and he had all night to explore them. For some reason, it
felt
brand-new—maybe because the sex they’d shared before had invariably been hot and hard and urgent.

Not that he wasn’t every bit as hot and hard now. But a new element had been added with this bone-deep desire he had to take his time with her, to take
care
of her. He went with it, keeping his grip tender and his mouth slow and thorough.

After several satisfying moments, he raised his head. “Where’ve you been hiding?” he murmured, brushing a silken strand of hair off her cheek. “I missed you.” He didn’t wait for an answer, but instead dove back into the kiss.

But even as their mouths meshed, that damn sharp edge of unease, that unscratchable anxiety that burned like a hot itch just below the surface of his skin anytime he got too close to a happy state, muscled into his consciousness.

Because he had no business missing her. No business thinking he could be a father.

Hell, he had no business thinking any relationship he touched would last.

Yeah, because how’s that worked for you so far? Your daddy walked, your wife—well, there’s no doubt that if she hadn’t died that’s a relationship that would have ended in divorce court—and you abandoned your kid. Face it, man. Bradshaws just don’t have what it takes for happily-ever-afters.

It was why he’d come to the decision about his—and Austin and Jenny’s—future.

“Hey.” Jenny threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled his head back. “Where’d you go?”

He looked down at her, at those dark, caring eyes, and pushed everything else away. “Nowhere,” he said, then shook his head because she knew better. “That is, we’ve experienced a temporary blip in the attention-span portion of our program. But I’m back. Right where I want to be.” And, feeling her fingers loosen their grip, he lowered his head again.

It was true, he was where he wanted to be. With these damn Bradshaw genes, he might lack what it took for the long haul, but for the next hour or so?

Well, he’d at least have this.

* * *

F
OR
THE
PAST
COUPLE
of days—ever since she and Austin had had that talk over dinner—Jenny had done her damnedest to avoid Jake. She wasn’t a rip off the Band-Aid kind of woman—she was more a peel it gently from all directions girl. So rather than continue having sex with him up until the day Jake left town—and, oh, incidentally, took the only person she’d ever thought of as a brother with him—she’d decided to start distancing herself. That wasn’t possible with Austin, but she could sure as hell attempt it with Jake.

There was no distancing herself from this, however. It had never
been
like this. Not that it hadn’t been great, because, oh God, it had—all hot and exciting and the best sex of her life.

But this...
this
was even better. The tender enough to bring her to tears kisses that at the same time made her feel like stretching like a cat in a patch of sunlight. The slow, oh-so-capable hands that stripped them both of their clothing, then took an unhurried journey over her body, leaving no curve, no dip or hollow untouched in his explorations. The caring that came off Jake with such near-palpable energy it threatened to capsize her composure. For maybe the first time ever, she felt so, oh Lord, so—dare she even think it?—cherished.

Swamped in sensation, she absorbed his kisses, writhed languorously beneath his touch and moaned when he pushed up onto his palms, widened his muscular thighs between hers to spread her legs and slide inside her. Her arms twined around his neck to cling, her body arched in an attempt to get nearer.

And still he moved at a glacial pace, sinking in, then pulling back centimeters at a time. As that achy sheath deep between her legs tried to grip the iron-hard invader that made her feel more wonderful, yet greedier, than she’d ever felt in her life, words began crowding up her throat.

Words she’d be smart to keep to herself.

But as he brought her closer, closer, some began to escape despite her best attempts to swallow them. Thank God they were just the generic ones everybody said when their bodies grabbed the reins. As the sensations grew more imperative, however, she sank her teeth into her bottom lip. Because her control was slipping and it became more and more difficult to bottle up all the keep-it-to-yourself words threatening to spill.

Then she climaxed in an attenuated wave that made her see fireworks—and her self-censoring abilities hit the skids. “Oh, God, Jake, I love you,” she panted. “Love you, love you, love you.”

He cried out and thrust deep; then he, too, came with a deep, primal groan. After a moment he slumped heavily atop her.

Where he lay ominously still and quiet.

Crap,
she mentally lambasted herself.
You just couldn’t keep it to yourself, could you?
She opened her mouth to backtrack, to assure him it was only heat-of-the-moment sex talk. But she bit back the words.

Because, dammit, it wasn’t.

She did love him. God knew she hadn’t gone looking for it, but she did. She’d loved before, of course; she adored Austin and Tasha. But she hadn’t been sure she believed romantic love between a man and a woman was more than a word that people flung around and businesses used to sell their products. She’d certainly never seen proof of it up close and personal.

And in truth, it didn’t resemble the romantic legends that books and movies hyped. For instance, this was no love at first sight.
Her
love had built over the course of their acquaintance, given impetus by Jake’s actions, as a father, as a man, and strengthened by the character she hadn’t expected him to possess but which she’d delighted in watching him unveil a little more each day.

So, yes, she loved him. Period, end of story. Damned if she’d trivialize it just to spare them an awkward moment.

He pushed up on his elbows and smoothed her hair back from her face. “We need to talk.”

His expression was carefully noncommittal, and her heart took a nosedive. But what could she do but nod and say, “Okay.” Still, she didn’t have to be completely passive. She raised her hands to his shoulders to push him back. “Move.”

“Huh?”

“I need you to get off me. Given your no-expression expression, I believe I’d like to be dressed to hear this.”

He pulled out of her and rolled to his feet to stand alongside the bed. Apparently not suffering from the self-consciousness she abruptly felt, he stood with his legs braced apart and his long-fingered hands propped on his hips. He opened his mouth to speak, but not wanting to be gently let down while she was buck naked, she shook her head at him, then climbed from the bed, as well.

“Hey, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” he protested as she located her panties and pulled them on. She found her bra in a different location, her sweater in yet another and had to search a moment to track down her Levi’s, which Jake had apparently tossed over the end of the bed. The comforter had slipped off sometime during their lovemaking and pooled atop them.

With each article she located, she felt a little more armored. Finally she faced him, her own expression as neutral as his as she watched him swipe his own pants up off the floor. Stepping into them, he pulled them up his legs and zipped up, but left the waistband button unfastened.

She took a deep breath. “Okay. Let me have it.”

Jake had been giving the matter a great deal of thought since his talk with Austin, and it
wasn’t
a bad thing. Hell, if you asked him, he was about to be downright noble.

So why was his stomach so jittery and his heart doing the jungle-drum thing again?

It didn’t help that his assurance had fallen on deaf ears. Jenny stood on bare feet that struck him as unaccountably vulnerable, with one hip cocked and her arms folded over those little cupcake breasts of hers. Giving him the stink eye.

Making him feel that he was in the wrong.

Anxious to change that, he shifted slightly. Cleared his throat. “I’ve been giving this a lot of thought in the past couple days,” he said slowly. “And I came to the conclusion that the right thing to do is leave Austin here with you.”

Knowing how close she was to Austin, he kind of expected her to be thrilled. She didn’t look it, though. In fact, her eyes narrowed between dense, dark lashes and her lips tightened.

Her silence unnerved him. “Look, I admit I didn’t think it through real well before, okay?” God, he hated the idea of acknowledging the plan he’d always had in mind. He knew, though, that it was the only way she’d understand. “My work takes me away for chunks of time—and he’d be left in a strange city with nothing but a companion.”

“You’re going right back to work?”

He shifted again. “I have to—and sooner rather than later. I’ve already turned down two jobs, and my editor’s been calling every damn day.”

She simply looked at him and his defenses rose. He raised his brows at her. “What? You didn’t expect me to give up my job, did you?” He flashed her a smile edged with an amusement he didn’t feel.

She returned one edged with a contempt he was pretty damn sure she felt right down to her bones. “No, I didn’t,” she said with stone-cold composure. “But neither did I expect it to be an all-or-nothing proposition. For instance, I’d totally get you leaving Austin with me for the summer, then arranging for a block of time when the new school year starts in New York, so you can be there to help him acclimate. That would give him time to make a new friend or two, so he’d have more support in place than just a companion when you have to travel. But this—you blowing him off after you made him fall in love with you—that I don’t get at all.”

It was such a good, logical plan—and one that had never once occurred to him. The additional guilt over his failure put his back up even further.

But he was a pro at slapping on an ask-me-if-I-give-a-rat’s-ass face. He’d had years of practice, after all, and he donned one now. Then subjected her to a slow up-and-down for good measure. “Are we still talking about Austin, Jenny? Or you?”

His chest hurt when she flinched. But he had to hand it to her—she didn’t let it slow her down. Not from the first day they’d met had she let anything do that, he acknowledged with an odd pride.

She returned his sin-on-a-stick once-over with interest before looking him in the eye. “Oh, are you acknowledging that I said the
L
word? And here I thought you were going to ignore it to death. Sorry to disappoint you if I’m supposed to be embarrassed by it, but I try to own my feelings.” Her face softened slightly. “I’d sure like to know why you’re in such denial about yours.”

His heart pounded, pounded, pounded and he forced a laugh. “What? You think I’m in love with you?”

“I was actually talking about Austin—I think you love that kid with every fiber of your being. But for some reason it makes you all—I don’t know—tense and twitchy and scared spitless.”

“I’m not afraid of anything!” He couldn’t deny the tense and twitchy, though.

“I’m sure you aren’t...when it comes to your average physical threat. But I’m talking about the emotional stuff, Jake. About the connection—to Austin, to me—and the idea of commitment. I bet
those
scare you right down to the ground. And you know what?” She planted her feet apart as if bracing herself. “I do believe you have strong feelings for me.”

He rubbed at the squeezing pain in his chest. Jesus, was he having a heart attack? He was proud, however, of the amused tolerance he essayed when he drawled, “Do you, now?”

“Yes,” she said with exaggerated patience. “I do. But if I’m mistaken?” She gave a slight shrug. “Well, hey, I’m a grown-up, I’ll get over it.”

Her voice hardened. “I wish I could say the same for Austin. That might have been possible if you hadn’t already told him you wanted him with you—” She broke off, shaking her head. “But you did, and there’s no unsaying it.” She met his gaze head-on. “Have you even told him your big plan?”