The Abortionist's Daughter (13 page)

“I know that,” he said. “Which is why I’m coming to you for help. You counsel your patients, correct?”

Diana allowed that she did.

“And if a girl isn’t sure about what she wants, you don’t perform the abortion, is that right?”

“I’d phrase it differently,” she said. “I perform abortions on women who are reasonably confident about their decision.”

“On women who want the abortion, you mean.”

“No one
wants
an abortion.”

“Still, if she has any doubts at all, then you don’t do it.”

“Probably not right then and there. Maybe later.”

“Then here’s what I want. I want you to talk to Rose’s parents and tell them to stop pressuring their daughter.”

Diana was so astonished by this request that for a minute she couldn’t say anything. That she might discuss things with a girl and her parents was one thing; but that a third party like Steven would try to step in and tell her what to advise was way, way over the line. Diana suddenly saw a great deal of folly in her decision to let Steven come by. She should have discussed it with Frank. Not even that—she should have flat-out said no. If her lawyer ever found out about this meeting, he’d go ballistic.

Self-consciously she stood up. “You should go,” she said in a low voice. She was scared, although she wasn’t sure why. “Before Frank gets home.”

Steven stayed where he was, on the stool.

“Do I need to call the police?”

“Diana,” said Steven, “this is my grandchild.”

“Oh stop it, it’s not your grandchild yet and besides, this isn’t about you, Steven,” Diana said. “It’s about Rose, and what she wants.”

“But she wants the baby!”

“And how do you know? How do you know she’s not just afraid of losing Scott, for instance?”

“Because I’ve talked to her myself,” Steven said angrily. “The girl is a Christian, even if her parents aren’t. And right now she knows two things: she’s carrying a life, and life is sacred. Do the logic, Diana. You want to know what she told me? She told me if she killed her baby, she would never be able to live with herself. You know what she’s referring to, don’t you?”

Only once in Diana’s entire career—which included, to date, thousands of abortions—only once had a patient tried to kill herself afterward. (She hadn’t succeeded; and it turned out she’d made several other attempts on her life long before her abortion.) Still, the last thing Diana ever wanted was a patient turning suicidal post-op.

“All I want is that you talk to the parents,” Steven said. “Tell them to back off. So they can see for themselves that Rose is sure about this.”

“And you think she’s sure?”

“I know she’s sure.” His voice was calm, but his eyes were hot and intense with his mission. Diana fought the urge to step back from the man. She wasn’t sure what she thought he might do, but she wished Frank would come home, just in case.

No, actually, she didn’t. Frank would totally flip.

“So I talk to them,” she said carefully, “and I counsel them to wait, and in the meantime you do what? Sit back with your mouth shut? I don’t think that’s going to happen, Steven. The way I see it, you’re going to use the time to hammer them with pamphlets and pictures. You’ll show them movies, like those movies you sent to me.”

“I didn’t send them.”

“Well, someone from your camp did. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. You’ll simply do everything you can to persuade them they’d be forcing their daughter to make an evil mistake.”

“Hear me out,” he said. “If you talk to them, I’ll stay out of it.”

“Like you could keep your mouth shut.”

“I promise. I won’t say a word.
Unless
they come to me for advice, that is, in which case I’d feel entitled to talk it over with them.”

Actually, Diana didn’t mind him talking about abortion as much as she minded him displaying his pictures. Steven used some of the most graphic photos available, but what most people didn’t know was that the pictured fetuses had been miscarried, not aborted. No matter to Steven. If they could be used to choke people up, he used them.

“Talk maybe, but absolutely no pamphlets or pictures,” she said.

“Unacceptable,” said Steven.

“Why? You think without them you’ll have no case?”

“No,” he said. “But with them, let’s face it. Few women go forward.”

“I know plenty.”

“Not after seeing my pictures,” said Steven.

“Your pictures are bullshit and you know it. Most of them are miscarried fetuses.”

“They still show you what your baby looks like.”

Diana closed her eyes. They were reaching the all-too-familiar stalemate, and it was almost nine o’clock, and she didn’t want this man sitting at her kitchen island any longer. She decided that what she would do with Rose was no different from what she would do with any patient whose parents were involved: she would advise the parents to step back. If Rose wanted to have the baby, then Rose should be allowed to have the baby.

“Look,” she said, “I’ll talk to them. Once. But only after I talk to Rose. And I’m going to make it very clear that a
lot
of women need a few weeks to sort out their feelings. Women who come back and ultimately go through with it.”

“Whatever that number is,” Steven murmured.

“And absolutely no pictures.”

“Fine.”

“And no movies.”

“Fine.”

“And not one word to the parents
unless
they come to you first.”

“Fine too.”

“How do I know that I should trust you?”

“I am a man of God,” said Steven.

Diana rolled her eyes. “Steven, Steven, Steven. Do you really think that would sway me?”

“I believe in divine retribution,” he said.

“Christian karma?”

“If you will. If I give my word, I stay with it.”

Diana handed his scarf to him. “You say anything about this to anyone and you’re screwed.”

“Maybe a different phrase?”

“Get one thing straight, Steven,” she said, sliding the door open for him. “I say what I want, when I want, and however I want.”

—————

Two days later Rose and her parents came into the clinic. Rose, her blond hair pulled up into a tangly knot, was dressed in gray sweatpants and a tight pink tee with the words
Foxy Lady
scripted in rhinestones. Elaine Fries, her mother, was a well-groomed woman in her forties, wearing narrow black pants and a stylishly embroidered denim jacket. Jack Fries was a local attorney. His heavy build conveyed strength rather than sloth, and the permanent laugh lines around his eyes gave his face a kindness and sense of confidence often seen in family doctors: you had the feeling Jack Fries knew what was best for you.

As they squeezed into Diana’s tiny office, all three seemed intent on keeping their distance from one another; Rose and Elaine sat stiffly in the two chairs, while Jack stood behind them with his arms crossed.

“Thank you for seeing us,” he said. “I know how busy you are. I guess you know the basic facts.” Diana nodded. “We’ve talked with Rose at length about this,” he continued, “and correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the general consensus is that an abortion is the only option.”

“Rose?” said Diana. “Is that what you want?”

“One thing you might not be aware of,” Jack said, before Rose could answer, “is that Rose is a starter on varsity basketball. She’s only a sophomore, keep in mind. Most of the varsity players are upperclassmen. Anyway, she has a very good chance at a scholarship—”

“—which we don’t actually
need,
” added Elaine.

“—and obviously having a baby would interfere significantly.”

Rose’s mother placed her hand on Rose’s knee. “She’s been scouted already,” she said proudly.

Rose removed her mother’s hand.

Diana faced the girl. “Rose?”

Still Jack continued: “It’s not that we’re upset about Rose having . . . relations, although we would have preferred that she wait. It’s that we feel the boy’s family is trying to tell Rose what to do. The boy’s family—well, I’ll come right out and tell you. The boy’s father is Reverend O’Connell.”

“Steven O’Connell,” added Elaine.

“As in, the Coalition,” said Jack.

Rose looked out the window and murmured something.

“Rose, honey, we talked about this,” Elaine said. “The man is a zealot. He’s trying to impose his personal views on you.”

“And you’re not?” she murmured.

“You never felt this way before,” Jack said.

“I was never pregnant before,” said Rose.

Her father straightened up, looked at the ceiling, and sighed deeply. “You’re fifteen, Rose. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. College, basketball, you name it, the world is yours—if you want it. You’re too young to have a child. And what about Scott? Do you see yourself marrying the boy? Because I certainly hope not.”

“Jack,” Elaine said, “let’s not—”

“Tell her what a simple procedure it is,” Jack said to Diana. “I think she’s scared. And that’s normal. I’d be scared. Heck, I’d be terrified. But it’s really a very simple thing these days, especially if we do it now.”

“Physically, yes, it’s a simple procedure,” began Diana. “But emotionally it can be quite complicated, especially if the mother”—she looked directly at Rose—“hasn’t resolved things in her mind.”

“I’ve resolved them,” said Rose, jiggling her foot. “I know what I want. I want to have the baby.”

Diana looked from one parent to the other and finally shrugged. “You can’t force her.”

“I’ll run away if I have to,” said Rose.

“Oh, Rose,” Jack sighed. “Rosabella Rose.”

Rose flung herself around in her chair to face him. “You think you know what’s best for me!” she cried. “You don’t know the first thing about me!”

“We know more than you give us credit for,” her mother said gently. “We weren’t born yesterday, you know.”

“Like that helps,” said Rose. “You know what? I’m through here. I don’t have anything to say to either of you. Or you,” she said, looking at Diana. “I know you all think this is one big mistake but it’s what I want and it’s what I’m going to do, and if I have to go and move in with Scott’s family, I’ll do that. They want me to, you know. They know how to treat a girl who’s pregnant. They have a pregnant girl staying with them right now. We’d share a room. And it’s a nice room too. I get a canopy bed and I get my own phone and Mrs. O’Connell knows about nutrition and everything
and
!” she exclaimed, “
and
they’ll pay my doctor’s bills.”

“We’ll pay your doctor’s bills,” Jack said. “It’s not a question of money, Rose.”

“Well maybe I don’t want your money,” said Rose. “I told you guys, I’m outta here. I can’t believe I missed World History for this stupid meeting.” She squeezed through the small space between her mother’s knees and Diana’s desk, catching one of Ben’s ashtrays with her backpack as she passed. It fell into Elaine’s lap but Rose didn’t stop and so Elaine picked it up and set it back on the desk as Rose stormed out of the room.

Diana had never had such a meeting.

“Well,” she began.

“Why didn’t you say something?” Jack said angrily. “Why didn’t you tell her what a simple thing it was?”

“I don’t push women into having abortions,” Diana retorted. “I’m here when they’ve made up their minds. And Rose isn’t even ambivalent about it. It’s not my role to try to change her mind. I can give you the names of some good obstetricians, if you want.”

Jack gripped the back of Elaine’s chair and bowed his head. “That’s not what we want.”

“But it’s not a question of what you want,” Diana said gently. “It’s what Rose wants.”

“We have to accept that, Jack,” said Elaine, reaching up to touch Jack’s arm. Jack shook his head slowly.

“I think it’s just that she won’t listen to anything we say,” Elaine explained to Diana. “Whatever we suggest, she rejects. Maybe if we hadn’t suggested the abortion in the first place, she wouldn’t be so dead set against it.”

“I guess you’ll never know,” Diana said.

“Well, thank you,” said Elaine, rising from the chair. “This must have been difficult for you.”

Diana smiled faintly. “I’ve been in worse situations.”

Jack stared out the window for a moment. Then he reached out to shake Diana’s hand. “I’m sorry for getting angry,” he said. “It’s just that this is my daughter.”

“I know,” said Diana. “I have a daughter too.”

“But she’s not pregnant, is she,” Jack replied.

Diana said nothing but walked them out to the reception area. “Call me if you want the names of those obstetricians,” she said.

Elaine Fries glanced around the waiting room. There were two young women there, each engrossed in a different
People
magazine. “This is a nice place,” she told Diana. “I’ve always admired you for what you do.”

“As have I,” said Jack.

I just push the reset button, Diana wanted to say.

“And who knows,” said Jack. “Maybe Rose will change her mind. Maybe we’ll be back in a week. She is fifteen, after all.”

“Fifteen’s a tough age,” Diana said. “If she needs me, I’m here.”

—————

But Rose didn’t change her mind. Diana heard from a teacher at the high school (in for a routine eight-week) that Rose did in fact go to live with the O’Connells. She was getting prenatal care from a well-respected doctor. She was not speaking to her parents despite their attempts to stay in touch with her. It was a sad situation all around, but the silver lining—for Rose, anyway, and for the O’Connell family—was the baby growing inside her.

Diana wouldn’t see Rose until December 17, and in fact she was able to put the girl out of her mind as November came and went and fall turned into winter. Sometimes you had to let go. She was letting go a lot at the clinic these days; it was something she’d resolved to do last January and, as with most resolutions, had let slide. But her life was changing, and it was time to reset her priorities. She was forty-seven, her only child was off at college, and she had the rest of her life to consider. She had a book to write—several books, in fact. She wanted to travel. She wanted to go back to school and study art, and music, and literature—the things she’d never had time for during her pre-med college years.