The Academy (13 page)

“If you weren’t what?” North raised an eyebrow.

“If I wasn’t so eager to be a captain instead,” I improvised quickly. “I mean, who wants to be a navigator when you can run the whole ship instead?”

“The navigator’s as important as the captain,” North objected. “The captain can give orders until he’s blue in the face but if the ship doesn’t have a navigator to plot the course, it’s going to be stuck in dry dock forever.”

“Yes, but the men need a captain they can look up to,” I pointed out. “Someone strong and brave. Someone they know will stand up for them and lead them without fear.”

Suddenly I realized I wasn’t thinking of myself as the captain as I spoke—I was thinking of North. He would make an excellent leader of men. With his tall, muscular frame and those commanding blue eyes—not to mention his courage and integrity. He was someone to inspire a crew, someone who could lead them into combat or into the darkest reaches of uncharted space without fear.

North spoiled my idealized image of him by laughing and shaking his head. “Sorry, shorty, but if you want
anyone
to look up to you, you’d better grow a couple of inches fast.”

“Very funny,” I said sourly. “And don’t call me shorty.”

“Fine, shrimp.” He grinned. “Look, it’s almost dinnertime. Come on, let’s go.”

“I’m not hungry,” I muttered, but I followed him anyway as he stepped out the door of our room.

“After playing dodge ball all afternoon with Broward? I doubt that.” He shot me a look over his shoulder. “All that ducking and running works up an appetite. Not to mention using your face as a ball stop.”

“Ha-ha.” I frowned at him as we walked down the hall. “I hope you’re amusing yourself, North, because I can’t say I find you very funny.”

“That’s because you have no sense of humor.” He put an arm around my shoulders and shook me gently. “Lighten up, Jameson. Take it easy for once.”

I thought about mentioning how ironic it was that the prince of brooding silences was telling
me
to lighten up and get a sense of humor but for some reason I didn’t say a word. For one thing I found that my mood
was
improving—just from being around him. And for another, his arm around my shoulders felt warm and nice. I didn’t want to say anything to make him stop touching me.

Despite the horrible day I’d had, everything suddenly seemed like it was going to be okay. Looking up at North, I couldn’t help wondering why I let his mood affect my own. But somehow I couldn’t help myself—he was happy and I found that I was happy too—even with my throbbing nose.

Even though it was completely irrational, I didn’t want the feeling to end.

Dinner was a relatively quiet affair. North and I walked to the mess hall together but parted ways outside, as usual. Wilkenson sat with me and exclaimed over my nose. I told him the truth about what Broward had done and he made the appropriate noises of sympathy. Speaking of Broward, he and his cronies were laughing loudly as usual over at the fourth-form table. I was careful to finish my dinner and leave well before they were through but, though my nose still ached, Broward and his bullying were no longer uppermost on my mind. What I was mostly thinking of was my plan—my plan to get a shower.

That night I changed in the closet as usual and skipped the evening shower time before RLO. North made a comment about how I would start to stink if I kept this up but I ignored him and tried not to watch when he casually disrobed in preparation for his own shower. I couldn’t help noticing, though, how broad his shoulders were and how muscular his back was. And when he came back to the room, his dark blond hair slicked back and beads of water dotting his chest, I admit I looked a little longer than was proper.

Luckily for me, North seemed oblivious to my scrutiny. We said goodnight and crawled into our respective beds after he turned out the light.

Then I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Finally I heard the tiny chirrup of my chronometer and knew it was time. Slowly, being careful not to make a sound, I slipped from beneath my covers. Reaching under my bed, I got my towel which was rolled into a tight cylinder and found the tiny shampoo pellet I’d hidden there earlier—one of the few luxuries I’d brought from home.

Moving as silently as a mouse, I crept to the door, put my hand on the knob and—

“That’s a really bad idea, you know.”

North’s soft, deep voice from the darkness startled me so much I nearly screamed. I turned slowly to see him sitting up in bed, his tiny handheld light illuminating his face.

“What are you talking about?” I tried to sound sleepy and cross. “I’m just going to use the fresher. I had too much fruit drink at dinner.”

“Liar. You’re going to try and sneak a shower.” North frowned at me. “But now isn’t a good time.”

“Why not?” I demanded, too exasperated to lie anymore. “It’s past midnight—everyone should be asleep.”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” he said dryly. “But they’re not. The dorm monitor never goes to bed before one AM and he always makes one more round of the freshers before he turns in. If he catches you out after RLO for any reason other than to take a quick piss, you’ll get licks. Not to mention the fact that Broward could show up at any time and catch you naked and alone—not good.”

I felt the most unladylike urge to swear. Instead I bit my tongue until I tasted a faint coppery hint of blood. “What am I suppose to do then?”

“You’re
supposed
to shower with everyone else like the rest of us do.”

“Well, I can’t,” I snapped. “And I
won’t.
If I would’ve known about the facilities here, I never would have come in the first place.”

“So you’d give up your chance to be in the Space Corps just because you don’t like showering with other guys?” North raised an eyebrow at me.

“Yes…no…I don’t know.” I ran a hand through my short hair in frustration. My short,
dirty
hair. Honestly, if I didn’t get a shower soon I felt like I was going to go out of my mind. I couldn’t stand this state of filth and grime much longer.

“This isn’t really about modesty, is it?” North’s voice got softer and his eyes narrowed as he looked at me. “It’s something else, isn’t it, shrimp?”

“It’s nothing,” I said shortly. “Just go back to bed.”

He frowned. “So you can get murdered by Broward or caught by the dorm monitor? I don’t think so.”

“You can’t stop me,” I said, giving him a fierce glare. “So just turn over in bed and pretend you don’t see me.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Look, just wait a little longer and I’ll go with you.”

“North,” I said in exasperation. “I appreciate your concern but I don’t want to take a shower with you anymore than I want to take one with the rest of our dorm-mates.”

“I’m not going to shower
with
you.” He was the one who sounded exasperated now. “I’m going to watch your back.”

“What? Why?” I put a hand on my hip. “Why would you do that for me? Because I helped you with that equation?”

“Maybe.” North shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “Or maybe because I know about having something you want to hide—something about your body you’re ashamed of.”

“I’m not ashamed,” I said stiffly. “I’m just…different. That’s all.”

“I know about being different, too,” he said in a low voice.

“How could you know about being different or ashamed?” I demanded. “Just look at you—you’re
perfect
.”

He laughed dryly. “Thanks, shorty. But I wasn’t talking about myself.”

“Who then?” I came back to my bed and sat on it facing him.

He shrugged again and looked away, not meeting my eyes. “Someone I used to know. Someone I…cared about.”

“Who—?” I began but he cut me off.

“Look, I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” His eyes blazed fiercely in the dim light. “I’m offering to help you break the rules and get a shower—do you want my help or not?”

I bit my lip and looked at him uncertainly. “And you won’t…won’t look at me?”

North barked a laugh. “You may have a pretty face, shrimp, but I don’t think I’ll have to hold myself back from checking out another guy. No, I won’t look.”

“All right, then,” I said with as much dignity as I could muster. “I accept your offer.”

“Good.” He yawned. “Then go back to sleep.”

“What?” I frowned. “But I thought—”

“If you’re going to sneak out, the best time to do it is two or three o’clock in the morning.” North frowned at me. “Trust me—I know. So let’s both get some sleep until then. I’ll set my alarm and get you up at the right time.”

I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to go to bed grimy again, but at last I had to admit his plan was better than my own. “Fine.” I sighed and got back under my covers. “But this
has
to work. I feel so dirty I’m going
insane
.”

“Sounds like a short trip for you, shrimp.” North yawned again. “Go to sleep. I’ll wake you up later.”

Still grumbling to myself, I lay my head on the pillow and tried to get comfortable. I was sure I would never be able to get to sleep feeling as irritable and filthy as I did but somehow my eyelids drifted closed all the same…

The next thing I knew, someone was shaking my shoulder.

“What?” I sat up in bed, suddenly panicked and a large hand slapped over my mouth.

“Shhh!” North hissed in my ear. “Keep it down. There’s no point in getting up in the middle of the night if you wake everybody else in the dorm up too! Now are you going to be quiet?” Silently, I nodded and he took his hand off my mouth. “Good, now come on. Let’s make this fast.”

We made our way down the long, dark hallway to the fresher mostly by feel. Once I stumbled but North caught me by the arm, lifting me almost off the floor with one big hand. I managed to keep myself from crying out though a tiny squeak of surprise did escape me. He ‘shhhed’ me and we went on with him still holding my arm—I suppose to keep me from stumbling again.

Once inside the fresher, we had a little light from the illuminated tiles in the corners. They had a faint, blue shine and cast eerie shadows in the dark room, making me glad I wasn’t alone.

We went through the narrow, echoing hall that led from the main fresher area to the shower room and then North stopped and illuminated his tiny handheld light. He stuck it in his teeth and then unrolled a blanket he’d apparently been holding under his arm. Reaching high, he fastened the corners of the blanket to two hooks on either side of the narrow, tiled doorway.

“Muffles the sound and blocks the light,” he explained in a soft voice, nodding at the blanket. “The hooks are supposed to be for a shower curtain but they never got around to putting one up.”

“I see.” I nodded.

“Good. Just keep the shower on the lowest setting and go as fast as you can so we can get out of here.”

“All right.” I nodded again and then just stood there with my arms over my chest.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” North gave me a look of pure exasperation. “Hurry up!”

“Are you going to be in here
with
me?” I crossed my arms tighter, hugging myself protectively. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but North I just
can’t…”

“Oh right…” He sighed and turned his back to me so that he was facing the make-shift curtain. “Go ahead. I won’t look.”

For a long minute I stood there, shifting from foot to foot, staring at his broad back in the dim light. Would he keep his word? And was I really about to disrobe and take a shower with a man in the same room?

“Go on, shorty.” North’s deep voice was somehow gentler this time. “It’s okay—I swear I won’t turn around. Trust me.”

There was something in his tone that put me at ease. That and the set of his shoulders, which seemed to say he was prepared to wait for me as long as he had to without looking. He had asked me to trust him and somehow, at that moment, I knew that I could.