The Academy - Forgiveness and Permission (Year One, Book Four) (8 page)

I blushed again at the thought of him almost suggesting I needed a babysitter just to watch a football game. “What should I do?”

“Ask one of the others. Nathan or Kota or someone.”

Ask the guys? That sent my fingers shaking and I hid them under the desk, in my lap. I had to ask someone to go with me to the football game, so Silas could take me to the party with him and North after. It felt like I was asking someone on an almost-date, under the condition that there would be another almost-date I had to go to after.

“Okay,” I said quietly. “I mean yes, sounds like fun.” I wanted to believe that though I was nervous about all of it. A game. A party! Sang Sorenson at a party, like a normal person.

Academy boys were changing everything around me.

♥♥♥

I
n my next class, I was nervously tapping the eraser of my pencil against the desk as I waited for Victor to show up. He slid in at the last minute before the bell rang. I’d been itching to ask him to the football game. He’d asked me out, so I thought he wouldn’t say no if I asked.

Only my tongue got stuck to the top of my mouth. I’d glance back at him during the lecture, he’d flash a smile, and I’d chicken out and stare off toward the front again. It almost felt like I was asking him to do me a favor rather than asking if he’d like to go. Silas won’t let me go to the game before he takes me to the party unless I take someone. Will you babysit me?

Before I found my courage, class was over. I collected my things. Victor followed me out to the hallway.

When we were walking beside each other and away from class, he reached for my hand. “Sang?”

My stomach buzzed inside. “Yes?”

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked, his fire eyes subdued, but the corner of his mouth drifted up.

My lips parted. “Wrong?” My mind raced for an answer to his question. Was there something else I hadn’t told them? With everything going on, it wouldn't surprise me, but how many things could be wrong with me today?

“It looked like you wanted to say something and you kept stopping. Are you okay?”

Apparently my face was as readable as Mr. Blackbourne said. My eyes flitted to the other students passing around us as we crossed the halls toward the gym. “I wanted to ask you something but ...”

Victor halted in the middle of the hallway, turning to me. An eyebrow arched up. “Ask.”

My face felt like it was on fire, lit up by the sparks in his eyes. “I ... um ...”

“Princess,” he said, his voice dropping an octave. “After everything else today, I’m not going to flinch at a question. Just ask me.”

That wasn’t making it easier. “There’s a football game ...”

His head tilted back. Other students cursed at us for blocking traffic. He ignored it as he gazed down at me. “And?”

“And maybe if you aren’t busy...”

His lips parted, his fire eyes igniting. His hand squeezed mine. “Are you trying to ask me out?”

I pushed the finger of my free hand to my lower lip. “Well, there’s...” I hated saying it out loud because it felt so wrong. “Silas said he and North were playing, and I asked if I could watch, and he said I couldn’t go it alone ... and there’s a party after ... ” I couldn’t bring myself to suggest that Silas had made it sound like I’d be tagging along with him and North. I didn’t know how to do it without hurting Victor’s feelings.

A smile teased his mouth but something quenched the fire in his eyes. “It’s Friday night, isn’t it?”

I nodded.

He sighed, looking up and away at the students walking around us before focusing back at me. “Sang, I love that you’ve asked me. If it were up to me, I’d be there. I’d go wherever you wanted me to.” His hand squeezed mine again. “And if you tell me you need me to go, I’ll drop everything for you.”

My head tilted. “You’re busy.”

He nodded slowly. “There’s a charity event that evening. I’ve been asked to play.” He tilted his head closer to mine. “But say you need me to go and I’ll go with you instead. I’ll be there.”

The halls quieted and the bell rang. We were both late. I felt guilty I made him late for class for something I could have asked him earlier. “No,” I said, although I was disappointed. Did he mean it he’d drop something like that just for me? Or was he being nice because I asked and he had to say no? “Yours is more important. It’s just ... it’s bad timing.”

He chuckled, pulling my hand to walk through the hall. “Maybe we’ll do something on Saturday. Or next weekend. And if you still want to go Friday, you should ask Kota. He was probably going, anyway.”

That relieved some of the guilt weighing on me as I was thinking of who else to ask. It was like he was giving me permission. Still strange but at least I didn’t feel like I had to hide it. “Okay.”

He stopped outside of the girls’ locker room, nudging me along. “Call me,” he said, walking off to class.

I breathed a sigh, relieved and yet, I was sad. He didn’t tell me about the charity event. Was that something I could have gone to? I would have liked to see him play the piano.

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A
fter school, Kota parked in his driveway. Max, tethered in the backyard, barked once in greeting before padding toward us. Kota dropped a hand on the golden retriever's head. He shooed the dog back, and collected my things and his from the back seat. Nathan stepped out, stretched.

I got out and held back, unsure of what to do. Normally at this time I was worried about getting home to check in with my mom and to make sure I wasn’t in trouble. Now I didn’t have to, I felt lost. I didn’t know where I was supposed to be any more.

But Kota hit a button on his keys and the garage door rolled open. Nathan followed Kota inside, and since Kota carried my things, I trailed behind them. It felt funny that they simply expected me to tag along. I was happy to be included, but still feeling out of place since I wasn’t sure.

We collected in Kota’s bedroom. I fell into one of the bean bag chairs, pushing my sandals off my feet and curling up into a ball. Nathan plopped down onto Kota’s bed, stretching out.

“No napping until homework is done,” Kota said, dropping his keys onto the desk and our bags onto the floor next to it.

I moaned, rolling my head back.

“Come on, Kota,” Nathan grumbled. “She’s had a long day.”

“Then you do her homework.”

I popped my head up. “He can’t do that. That’s cheating.”

Kota smirked after me. Nathan laughed, dropping a hand over his chest. “Oh, Sang, you’re hilarious.”

I blushed, confused. “The Academy lets you guys cheat on homework?”

Side glances were exchanged. Nathan shrugged. Kota responded, “The Academy doesn’t really have any. Not like this.”

I pressed a palm against my forehead. “What about ...”

“Let’s focus on homework for now,” Kota said. “You’ve been out for a week. You’ve probably got an armload to catch up on.”

There was a lot of homework, but I was still finished within a couple of hours. I was curled up and reading ahead for English class when the phone in my bra started buzzing. Nathan caught my startled expression and watched as I pulled the phone from my chest.

“What’s wrong with your pockets?” Nathan said.

“I didn’t have any today,” I replied, and checked the screen.

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S
ilas: Remember to ask someone to take you to the game Friday before they make other plans.

––––––––

“W
ho is it?” Kota asked, his head still down as he studied a physics book.

“Silas wants me to come see the game Friday and go to the party with him after. He wanted me to ask someone to go with me to the game, though, so I don’t sit alone because they’ll be playing.” There. Why was it harder with Victor? Was it because I thought he would consider it a date? Was it because I considered it one?

Kota picked his head up, gazing over his shoulder at me, an eyebrow raised. “Silas wants you to go to a party?”

“Yeah. He and North are going. He said he wanted me to go.”

Kota frowned softly. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”

Did I hear that right? “What isn’t?”

“Sang, do you know what kind of party this is?”

My cheeks heated. “No.” How could I? But then, what did I know about how things really were? All I had were television shows and books to rely on.

His lips softened. He got up, crossed the room and sat in a bean bag chair not far from mine, scooting to sit on the edge. He put his elbows on his knees as he leaned toward me. “There will probably be drinking. If you think the other kids are rough with you at school, they’re monsters when they’re drinking. There won’t be teachers and rules to keep you safe.”

“Silas and North wouldn’t let me go unless they thought it was okay, right?”

Nathan grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. “They probably have to go. They’re under orders to try to fit in with the football team. They want to get those kids to trust them.”

My heart sunk. So it wasn’t really even fun Silas was thinking about. He had to work and was asking if I’d tag along. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. “Should I tell him I can’t go?”

“The question is, do you want to go?” Kota asked. “Is being in a drunken mess with a bunch of teenagers where you want to be Friday night?”

When he put it like that, I didn’t. Outside of Silas and North, I’d be around a group of strangers. But I didn’t want to abandon Silas, either. “It’s not ideal, but if Silas and North have to go, maybe that’s why he asked. Is it better if I went with them and kept them company?”

“Silas and North can take care of themselves,” Kota said.

“Aw, come on, Kota,” Nathan said. “I’ll go to the football game with her if she wants. Then I’ll take her to the party with them. She can see what it’s like and if there’s a problem or if she’s uncomfortable, I’ll leave with her and Silas and North can stay. He probably was just inviting her so she had a chance to get out of the house.”

“There’s other places to take her besides something like that.”

“Then you should have asked her out before he did, huh?” Nathan snapped back.

My heart stopped. Was this about where Silas wanted to take me or about Kota preferring I go with him somewhere he wanted? “I ... I don’t have to go,” I stammered. I didn’t know what to do, but I didn’t want to make Kota angry with me. Why couldn’t they just tell me what they wanted?

Kota and Nathan locked their eyes on me until I cringed into my seat. This seemed to break through their dour faces.

Kota nudged the bridge of his glasses. “Sang, I’ll take you if you want.”

“I can go,” Nathan said.

It was okay now? It didn’t seem like either of them was excited about this. “We don’t ...”

“No,” Kota said, sitting back and crossing his left ankle over his right thigh, rocking his foot. “You’re right. Silas wouldn’t have asked you unless he thought it was fine. We’ll take you to the game. You can go to the party.”

I wanted to feel excited about it, but instead I felt as miserable as when he told me I shouldn’t go. I forced a smile. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he thought. Maybe we’d have fun.

Still, I couldn’t get rid of the pit of fear in my stomach. This was more complicated than having a nice evening at a football game.

♥♥♥

N
athan followed me home that night. Since his dad was never around, he spent the night more often than the others because he wasn’t missed. We stopped by his house so he could collect fresh clothes for tomorrow and check the house.

That evening, after I’d changed into shorts and a tank top to sleep in, he stood by the light until I climbed into bed. He flicked the light off and joined me. If anyone at school knew about this, they’d probably assume a lot about our relationship. Teenagers don’t normally sleep together like this. I knew that.

For us, though, it’d evolved from almost a necessity from when my parents were there to something we just did. I probably should have told him he could go home and not worry about me, but I didn’t really want to, and he never brought it up.

Nathan slipped under the covers with me, opening his arm up. I slipped in next to him, pressing my back to his chest. It was the most comfortable way to sleep next to him. When the others slept over, we were usually back to back. Occasionally they threw an arm over mine or a foot ended up on my ankle. Nathan and I evolved from that somehow to me backed up into his arms and it felt too weird to sleep any other way.

Nathan’s breath fell onto my neck. I pressed my finger to my mouth. Despite having done this a few times, it still made me nervous at first until he fell asleep. He was handsome. They all were. What would happen when some girl was interested in dating him and he had to stop this? Another girl wouldn’t understand why he slept next to me. I’d worry about Victor or Kota or North wondering about us sleeping in the same bed, but they all did it, too, and often knew when Nathan was here.

Although I wasn’t too sure if they knew how we slept wrapped up together.

His fingers found my elbow, and traced up my forearm to where my fingers touched my lip. He curled his fingers over mine, closing my fist and pulling my hand away. “Don’t do that,” he murmured against my hair.

“Why?”

“I can’t stand it.”

“It’s dark. You couldn’t see it.”

He huffed. “You stiffened. You put your finger in your mouth when you’re nervous. Stop being nervous around me.”

“I don’t put it in my mouth,” I said, afraid to even address the other part.

“You do it all the time.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Oh yeah?” He brought his fingers to my lips, poking at my mouth. “Teacher asks you a question.” He poked at my lips. “Mr. Blackbourne says your name.” Poke. “Class is dismissed and you have to walk with me to the next one.” Poke. “I ask you what you want for dinner.”

This time before he could poke me, I opened my mouth. When his finger slipped between my teeth, I bit down gently. I didn’t want to hurt him. I was annoyed that he was right and didn’t want to admit it so I was deflecting.

“Hey,” he called, yanking his finger out of my mouth. “No biting.”