The Accidental Life of Jessie Jefferson (32 page)

I’m done quickly – packing everything I’ve bought and brought with me. When I’m ready, I grab my phone and slump down on to the carpet, my back against the wall.

I dial Jack’s number.

‘I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist my charms,’ he says when he answers, and I know he’s smiling.

‘I’m going home,’ I tell him sadly.

‘When?’

‘Now. Today.’

‘Why?’ He sounds taken aback. ‘Is this because of Lissa?’

‘Lissa? No. Why do you say that?’

‘We think she
was
the one who told the press you were on your way to Johnny’s. Agnes has been leaving shitty messages on her phone all morning.’

My heart sinks even further. I knew I couldn’t trust Lissa, but her betrayal is still difficult to bear. She must really despise me.

‘No, it’s not about Lissa,’ I reply. ‘Johnny’s father has had a heart attack. He’s got to go and see him, and obviously I can’t stay here alone.’

‘No way. Can’t you . . . Isn’t there . . . You could come and stay with us?’

I laugh out loud, despite myself. ‘I don’t think that would go down too well with Johnny. He doesn’t think very highly of you,’ I point out.

‘Mmm.’ Is he squirming? ‘We didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye.’

‘What, like the last time?’ I ask without amusement. ‘You cheered yourself up pretty quickly after that. I’m sure you’re capable of doing it again.’

‘Ouch,’ he says gruffly, falling silent for a bit before finally asking: ‘When will you be back?’

‘Christmas. Maybe even when I have my school half term in a couple of months.’ Johnny did say holidays.

Pause. ‘That’s not so bad.’

‘Are you better at emails than you are at texts?’ I still remember the bluntness of his text when I told him I stayed.

‘Kinda,’ he replies. ‘But yeah, let’s stay in touch this time. You can’t escape me by running off to another country.’

I bite my lip. ‘Oh no, what about Agnes’s dress? I’ll ask Johnny’s PA to send it,’ I decide.

‘I’ll tell her. She’ll want to email you too, you know.’

‘I’d like that,’ I reply with a smile. And I would. I really would.

Jack and I have unfinished business, I think to myself as we hang up, and I’m immediately hit with a sense of déjà vu as I remember that that’s exactly what I thought about Tom when I left England to come here.

I exhale loudly and look around the room one last time, before kneeling on my suitcase and struggling to zip it closed. I manage. Just.

Barney is jumping up and down outside his bedroom door when I emerge, tugging my weighty bag behind me.

‘We’re going on a plane! We’re going on a plane!’ he shouts, and I wish I had his enthusiasm.

‘I know, cheeky monkey. Are you excited?’

‘Yeah!’ he shouts, running back into his room. I smile as I pass, glancing in to his bedroom to see that, for once, Meg has enlisted Carly’s help with packing his things. We really must be in a hurry.

‘You ready?’ Meg calls to me, as I pass Phoenix’s room.

‘I think so.’ I leave my suitcase on the landing and go inside. Phoenix is babbling away to himself in his cot. He’s usually asleep at this time, but there’s too much going on today.

‘Davey’s going to take the luggage separately,’ Meg tells me as she packs nappies and baby wipes into a bag. I wander over to the cot and peer down at Phoenix, who smiles up at me. ‘We’re going by helicopter,’ she says, as I tickle his chin and make him giggle.

‘Helicopter?’ I look over at her.

She smiles at me. ‘It lands on the roof. It’ll avoid us being tailed by paps the whole way on the road.’ She doesn’t look impressed. ‘By the time Davey gets to the airfield with our bags, we’ll already be on the plane.’

‘Are they still outside the gates?’ I ask worriedly. A bunch of cars followed us all the way home last night, and there were even more paparazzi waiting at the gates, but they couldn’t see me inside the darkened glass of the limo’s windows.

‘I’m afraid so. It was like this when the press found out about Barney. But it’ll blow over. Hopefully when you come back at Christmas, everything will have calmed down.’

‘Hopefully,’ I murmur. She didn’t mention half term, but maybe I can swing it somehow. Christmas seems so far away.

‘Even if you had stayed, it would have been hard for you to go anywhere,’ she points out.

That gives me a little comfort. But not much.

Libby rings me when we’re in the living room, listening out for the helicopter.

After waiting longer than I thought I’d have to for her call, I’m now too preoccupied to talk.

‘Hi,’ I answer, tapping my foot on the floor. I’m sitting on the sofa next to Johnny, who’s also tapping his foot on the floor. We both have magazines in our hands, but neither of us appear to be reading.

‘Hi,’ she says.

‘I can’t really talk right now,’ I tell her bluntly.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner,’ she blurts out.

I close my eyes briefly. It’s a relief to hear her say that. I get up and go out of the living room door to the terrace.

‘It’s just that I still feel like I don’t know you any more,’ she says quickly.

I nod, even though she can’t see me. ‘I get it,’ I reply. ‘If we’d been close, like we used to be—’

‘I would have called you every day,’ she finishes my sentence for me.

There’s a helicopter in the distance. I wonder if it’s ours?

‘I’m coming home,’ I tell her. ‘We’re leaving today. Johnny’s dad has had a heart attack.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry.’

‘I think he’s going to be OK, but it means I have to leave sooner than I was supposed to. Can we catch up when I get back? There’s so much I want to tell you.’

The helicopter is coming closer.

‘That would be great.’

Johnny comes out on to the terrace with Phoenix in his arms, closely followed by Barney. ‘Look, helicopter!’ he says.

‘Copter!’ Barney replies, jumping up and down.

‘Here, put these on,’ he says to me, passing me my hat and sunglasses. ‘Just in case.’

‘Was that Johnny?’ I hear Libby say in my ear. She sounds shell-shocked.

‘Yeah.’ I pull the hat on and pop on my sunnies.

‘Oh my God, Johnny Jefferson is your dad,’ she says, as though it’s only just hit her. I know how she feels.

I smirk. ‘I’ll see you soon,’ I say.

And then the noise of the helicopter landing on the roof drowns out our goodbyes.

As we take off, headsets on and the pilot’s voice in our ears telling us about the flight time, I look back down at Johnny’s ultra modern house, gleaming white in the baking hot afternoon sun. There are still a few paparazzi waiting outside the gates, despite Davey’s diversion, and their cameras are pointed up at us.

Meg’s voice comes through the headset. ‘That’ll make a good shot for the tabloids,’ she says wryly. ‘Our sneaky escape.’

The pilot swerves off to our right and I inhale sharply. This is actually quite scary – a bit like a fast fairground ride. That thought makes me think of Jack and me on the dodgems and I can’t help but smile. At that very moment, as I look out of the window at the mansions nestled in Beverly Hills below, I see his house. Maybe it’s my imagination, but I swear I can see someone – him? – sitting on the slope of the grass looking out at the view. I wonder if he sees me too.

I’ll email him when I get home. I hope he keeps in touch. Like I said, we have unfinished business.

Stuart comes to collect me from the private airfield where we land. Johnny, Meg and the boys are going by chauffeur to Johnny’s dad’s place in Essex. Johnny would have had a chauffeur collect me, too, but Stuart wanted to come. And I’m so happy to see him.

An immigration official came on to the plane to check our passports, so all we have to do is walk down the steps and into the building. I see Stu through the glass as I head towards him – he’s wearing his typical uniform of white T-shirt and denim jeans and he suddenly feels so familiar. I don’t run to him, but when I go through the door and into his arms, the force of our bodies slamming into each other takes my breath away. I’ve never hugged him like this before in my life.

I pull away and smile up at him, and he down at me, and I notice his glasses have come loose so I reach up and straighten them. He looks past me and stiffens, and I know that Johnny has entered the building. I step away from Stu and turn around, and then they’re shaking hands – my new dad and my stepdad, the man who has raised me all of these years and who I’ve never properly appreciated. I wrap my arm around Stu’s waist again and give him a hug, and I notice something pass over Johnny’s expression as he regards us. He steps backwards, flanked by Meg and his boys.

When all is said and done, it’s still ‘them’ and ‘me’, I think pensively, as Meg comes forward to be introduced. But maybe that will change. One day.

We walk outside to the waiting limo and Stu’s little white Fiat, the cars a strange reflection of the two very different worlds laid out before me. Both Stu and Johnny look awkward and I think that they can see it, too.

Meg comes forward to give me a hug, while Stu and Johnny make small talk. ‘See you soon, Jessie,’ she says, quietly. ‘You’ve got my number. We’ll catch up while we’re here, OK? Maybe you can come and meet Brian when he’s perked up a bit?’

My grandad . . .

I nod quickly. ‘That would be good.’

She steps back while I crouch down to speak to Phoenix. ‘Come here, you.’ He flashes me a toothy grin and toddles towards me. He’s grown more steady on his feet even in these last few weeks, but I hope I never forget holding his hand while we walked along the boardwalk at Santa Monica, on my first morning there. ‘Bye bye, baby.’ I fight back tears as I take him in my arms and squeeze his chubby little body, then I watch him toddle off to hang on to his mummy’s leg. I turn to Barney. ‘See you later, B,’ I say.

‘Where are you going?’ he asks, his forehead furrowing with confusion.

‘I’ve got to go in that car.’ I point at the Fiat. ‘But I’ll see you soon, OK?’

‘I wanna come with you!’ he says.

‘No, you’ve got to go in the shiny new one,’ I reply with underlying humour.

‘Aw!’ he moans, his shoulders slumping dramatically.

I laugh and open the back door of the limo. The driver jumps out of the front seat and apologises because he didn’t get there first.

‘It’s fine,’ I wave him away. ‘Look!’ I say to Barney, and we both peer inside. ‘Go and see what’s in the fridge!’ He eagerly clambers inside, but I tug him back. ‘Kiss first.’

He pecks me on my lips and turns away and I fight back tears as I straighten up. Meg smiles sympathetically and touches my arm with tenderness as she and Phoenix climb into the limo. Stu nods at Johnny and then at me, before going to climb into the Fiat. He’s giving us some space.

‘I’ve got this,’ Johnny says to the limo driver, who returns to the driver’s seat, leaving us alone.

I stare up at the dad who I am yet to call dad. I know I’ll see him again soon, but this feels like the end of something. Hopefully it’s the start of something else.

‘Come here,’ Johnny says gruffly, pulling me into his arms as tears start to spill from my eyes. ‘I’m sorry we had to cut your trip short,’ he apologises again.

‘It’s fine,’ I manage to choke out as he lets me go. I don’t want him to leave yet. It feels too soon.

‘We’ve still got a lot of catching up to do,’ he says, running his thumb along my cheek and wiping away some of my tears. ‘And I really want to buy your stepdad a new car,’ he mutters with a smile.

‘He won’t let you,’ I tell him. ‘He couldn’t bear anyone to think that he told me about you so he could benefit.’ It’s true. I know him well.

Johnny rolls his eyes good-naturedly and says, ‘Try to convince him.’

I nod, but I know nothing will do that.

‘See you later, chick.’

I freeze as he presses his lips to my forehead, trying to etch this moment in time into my memory.

He turns away abruptly and climbs into the limo, and I suspect he’s feeling emotional, too.

The limo driver appears again to shut the door before returning to the front, and then I stand and watch my funny little family drive away from me.

‘Bye, Dad,’ I whisper.

Then I look over at Stu, waiting patiently for me in the Fiat. I go and climb into the passenger seat, next to him. The car smells comfortingly familiar, even if it is a pile of shit.

‘Alright?’ he asks cautiously.

‘Yeah,’ I grin. ‘Yeah, I’m alright. Let’s go home. I’m dying for a fag and a drink.’

‘I really hope you’re joking,’ he says warily. ‘I thought you might have grown up since you’ve been away.’

I collapse into giggles as we drive away from the airfield.

But in truth, I
have
grown up. I’ve changed. And I might be going back to the same town, the same little house, the same school and the same friends, but one thing’s for sure, life will never be the same again.

I’m excited to see what it has in store for me next.

Acknowledgements

I don’t think I will ever start an acknowledgements page without thanking my readers first and foremost. I can’t tell you how much your messages and online reviews make me smile, so please say hi if you haven’t already @PaigeToonAuthor and on Facebook.com/PaigeToonAuthor. Also, stay tuned to www.paigetoon.com because I have some exciting plans for 2014 . . .

Big thanks to the brilliant children’s team at Simon & Schuster, but specifically to my editor, Jane Griffiths, and also Kat McKenna, Elisa Offord, Catherine Ward, Nick Stearn, Laura Hough, Sam Webster, Dominic Brendon, Becky Peacock and Maurice Lyon. Thank you also to my editor Suzanne Baboneau and Emma Capron on the adult team.

Thanks to Isla Bell for reading an early manuscript for me and feeding back, and also to Susan Rains for her help with my Americanisms. And thank you also to my new YA agent Veronique Baxter from David Higham – I’m excited to be working with you from here on in!

Thank you to my friend and fellow author Ali Harris for giving me the idea to branch into young adult books in the first place – I’d be lost without our weekly catch-ups over tea and biscuits!

And, yes, I know this is a little bit weird, but thanks to Meg – the character who kicked off the Johnny madness in the first place. I hope you don’t mind Jessie taking your story forward! (Please note: faithful readers of
Johnny Be Good
,
Baby Be Mine
and ebook short
Johnny’s Girl
, don’t worry – you will hear from Meg again. Just stay tuned to www.paigetoon.com for forthcoming details . . .)